Chapter-12 You are leaving? For real?
978 Words
It is the next morning, I start filling out the discharge form. Since the moment I walked out of that nurse’s closet, I haven’t seen Hiram. It’s morning again and I have comeback to my senses, I mean night makes everyone feel vulnerable, right?
I don’t need him to take care of my mom, but I still need him to stay. Last night I already messed up because I let my feeling take over. I am rude, when I feel real emotions but I have to keep him in check and ask him to stay.
We get the discharge and I get a cab and tell my mom to get inside. I try calling Hiram but he doesn’t pick up. I can’t let him slip away. I get inside the cab and after a while we reach our home. As soon as we enter, I see piping hot dishes on the table, my mom’s smile spreads involuntarily and Hiram comes out from the kitchen and yells,
“Welcome home”
My mom laughs in surprise and they start chatting and eating, if you look at my mom right now, you won’t be able to tell that she is battling cancer, she looks that happy.
Food has always been her life. When I was a kid she used to make these exotic dishes of other countries and always talked about them.
I look at Hiram, as he happily chats with my mom who has very conveniently forgotten her own daughter.
Hiram looks at me and all the warmth and happiness is drained out of his face, his eyes become icy. I wanted to smile, to smooth things over but even though he trying to hide it, hurt still shines prominently in his eyes.
I just stare at him blankly; after a minute he turns away and starts eating again.
“Luna, common sit and eat. See Hiram made some really good stuff”
Yeah, now she remembers me.
“No, mom, I don’t feel hungry at all. I will eat later”
I rush to my room and start panicking. I start pacing the room, thinking,
What do I do to make him stay? Should I lie? No probably I should say my mom needs him, I am sure he would stay for mom. Or oh I can say we need extra cash. Yeah, that sounds the most acceptable answer.
But deep down I know, me showing my vulnerability is what can make him not only stay, but also open up. I am scared off him, whenever I try to fish out some information out of him or make him feel vulnerable. I become the one who starts to share things and stuff.
Okay, so when my mom goes to rest, then I will tell him to stay. I sit down on my bed and I start to rehearse what to say, when I see him. I start to panic and get nervous, just by thought of talking to him.
No, I won’t practice anymore, it is making me even more panicky than I already feel. I wait and wait all the while jingling my legs, when finally, I hear my mom’s footstep going towards her room. I quickly rush outside after a minute and bang right into Hiram. I step back and he walks right past me, this is the time, I turn around and hold his hand,
“Hiram stop. I need to say something” He stops and turns around,
“I know Luna, what do you wanna say, I know I am supposed to be out by today, but”
“No”, I cut him off. He looks at me with shocked expression.
“Have you told mom, that you are leaving?”, I inquire.
He sighs as if he is disappointed with my question,
“No, Luna but I will, soon, I know you want me out of the house as soon as possible but you could atleast wait a day”
I look at him in the eyes and say, “But I don’t want you to leave Hiram”
His face goes from disappointment to pure shock, his face looks very funny, I really can’t say if he is happy or just…….shocked. After a moment he regains his voice and seriousness masks his face, and he speaks,
“Why?”
I tilt my head, “Why what?”
“Why do you want me to stay Luna?”
Now, that is an interesting question, Damn, it I should have rehearsed my answers. I want to say because I need you, I don’t wanna go through this alone and most importantly if I lose my mother I don’t wanna be alone. But instead, I say,
“Well, my mom likes your company, and we could you use some extra cash, plus it would be better for”
He doesn’t say anything for a long time and then finally says,
“I am sorry but I really can’t stay”, his face blank, no emotions, no sorrow he just leaves. I really thought he would stay after I tell him to, but he walked away. I don’t know how long I stood there on the hallway, but I know it was for a really long time, because I see Hiram walking towards me with his packed bags and he walks out the front door without even giving me a second glance or thinking about me.
First dad and now him, people around me tend to leave, that is not new to me, but who are important and mean something to me also leaving me is something new I am dealing with. I feel this deep urge to cry, but my eyes feel dry, huh, maybe because I didn’t drink any water today.
Did you really leave me Hiram? For real?
- Writer
