Hawk

4 - This better be good!

Hawk

“This better be fuckin.g good, you son-of-a-bitc.h!” I bark at Ritchie, our newest prospect.

He hasn’t been with us a month yet and hasn’t earned his road name, but he’s on his way to achieving his full patch. He’s good at what he does. Loyal. He also knows I’m a miserable bastard, and I don’t like to be woken up.

I’ve been staying here at the clubhouse more often than not. Since I lost Brooke, I haven’t known what to do with myself. Puss.y is easy to come by; not that I want any other puss.y, but Brooke’s. What I had with her was a once-in-a-lifetime thing, never to be found again. No one could ever or will ever take her place in my heart or my bed.

I work damn hard for this club. I’m always there when the Brothers need me. I’m the first one into battle, and I’ve been even more involved these past six months.

What the fuc.k have I got to live for?

If some fucke.r shoots me tomorrow, then so fuckin.g be it. Without Brooke, I’m nothing but a whole heap of anger and rage. Rage waiting to tear from me like a tornado and kill everyone and everything around me.

“There’s some chick asking for you.”

“Are you fuckin’ serious? It’s four in the mornin’, you prick! Couldn’t you have told her to come back at a more reasonable hour, dammit?”

“I know, but the girl is all torn up, man. Hawk, she looks like she’s been beaten the crap out of. She’s got a tiny baby with her, and when I say tiny, I mean just born. She asked for you personally.”

I don’t know any chicks with kids, nor pregnant with one other than the women of this club.

“What’s she look like? Did you ask her name?”

“No, I didn’t ask her name. I wouldn’t’ve let her in, but she hardly looks dangerous. Get past the blood in her hair, and I’d say she’s blonde, blue eyes, a real pretty little thing. Dressed like it’s summer rather than winter. Bruises all over her.”

If this woman has asked for me, then it’s someone I must know. I’m not a complete bastard, and there’s no way I’m going to leave a torn-up woman with a newborn in this clubhouse for hours so that I can catch a few Zs. My mother would string me up by my balls when she found out.

“Fine.” I grab my jeans and pull them on, my boots, a T-shirt, and my cut before following Ritchie to the bar.

I stop dead in my tracks the second my eyes land on her.

Jesus Christ, what the fuc.k happened to her?

I take a deep breath and rake my fingers through my hair.

She’s mumbling something to the baby in her arms — the tiny baby she’s holding close to her chest. Her hands are shaking as she touches his cheek. “It’s okay, Gabriel.” I hear her voice, and I know that I’m not seeing things, she's really there in front of me, my Brooke.

“Brooke?” I walk toward her, and she looks up at me, her eyes filled with tears and relief. “What are you doing here?”

“Hawk,” She sobs my name but swallows it back. Brave girl never did want me to see her cry, never wanted me to think she was weak. “I’m sorry, I didn’t have anywhere else to go. I needed to protect Gabriel. I only had a couple of hours before my dad sent him away, and...”

“Whoa,” I hold my hand up to her, silencing her mumbling while pulling up a stool in front of her and taking a seat.

Brooke may have screamed at me that she didn’t love me, but I knew it was bullshit, she was trying to protect me. I knew she wanted to come with me. I also knew I couldn’t force her.

My dad was right; he came from a racist family also, and he knew how hard it was for Brooke back then. He told me she’d find her way back to me eventually, especially if the love was strong.

“Gabriel is your son?” Brooke nods her head before kissing the baby’s forehead. “You had a baby,” I say more to myself than her.

I look down at the little bundle in her arms. He’s beautiful, but I’m fuckin.g hurt that she had someone else’s kid.

The timing is off.

Did Brooke cheat on me?

As if reading my mind, she tells me, “Our baby, Hawk. I had our baby.”

I look at her, my eyes wide.

Shi.t!

“I didn’t know I was pregnant, I swear to God, I didn’t. I wasn’t showing, and I had no symptoms. I swear, I would have come back here and told you had I known. I gave birth to him a little over eleven hours ago.”

Eleven hours?

My son is just eleven hours old, and Brooke had to walk him all this way in the cold!

“The second he was born, my father dragged me to my feet. He beat me.”

“I’ll kill the son-of-a-bitc.h!”

Brooke smiles slightly. “He told me that I couldn’t keep him, he was sending Gabriel away in the morning. He wouldn’t even allow me to bathe him. I don’t have anything for him, not even a diaper.

“I couldn’t let him take Gabriel from me, Hawk, he’s my baby, our baby. So, I waited until everyone was asleep before sneaking out. I walked here. I don’t know why when you could have been at your house, but something told me you’d be here.”

That’s how in sync we’ve always been. We just know.

“I know I hurt you, Hawk, and I am so sorry, but I thought if I came here, we’d be safe.”

“You are safe, Brooke.” I cup her swollen face, she closes her eyes, and the tears fall.

I have no clue how she’s feeling right now, and I have no clue how scared she must have been.

Giving birth without knowing you were pregnant, then being beaten, and then having the man who’s supposed to love and protect you more than anyone else in this world tell you that you can’t keep your child?

Christ, that son of a bitc.h!

Brooke and I had spoken about children once. We wanted them, and she was it for me. I wanted her to be my wife, but she chose her family because her father didn’t give her much choice. The racist bastard!

However, looking at my newborn son in her arms, his little pink cheeks and tuffs of light brown hair, I can’t imagine ever hurting him. I am so in love with him already.

“You have to help me keep Gabriel safe, Hawk. Please. I’ll do anything, anything, but please help me keep him safe.”

I grab the back of Brooke’s neck, bringing her head against my shoulder. “Shh. It’s okay. I’m gonna keep you both safe. I promise.” No matter what it takes.

I lead Brooke to my room after telling Ritchie to keep his mouth shut about what he’s heard. I don’t want anyone to find out Brooke is back from anyone but me.

Brooke stumbles into me. She can’t even walk!

I lift her into my arms, and she doesn’t even protest. Her head falls against my shoulder, my tiny son resting against her chest. This is my family right here in my arms, and I’ll die before I let anyone take them from me again.

“It’s okay, baby, I’ve got you.” I soothe.

She nods against me slowly, flip-flops falling from her dirty feet. She needs a long, hot shower to wash the dirt and blood from her body, but for right now, that can wait.

I lay Brooke on my bed, but she pulls herself up in a sitting position against the headboard, holding onto Gabriel for dear life.

“Can I hold him?” I say as I hold my arms out to her.

She looks at the baby lovingly before looking at me and smiling. “Of course you can.”

I take Gabriel from Brooke’s arms, and a sudden rush of love fills my veins so fast it’s almost painful. I’ve never felt anything like this. I’ve never felt such love in my life.

This is what my father meant when he said the moment you hold your firstborn in your arms, your life is no longer your own; your heart is no longer your own. The love you feel could well kill you, but it would be a death well worth it.

I know I would die for this little boy without question, but then I’d still kill for his mother should it ever come to that.

“Hawk, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable about anything. Gabriel and I can find somewhere...”

“No,” I cut Brooke off before lowering myself onto the bed beside her, facing her. “Six months I have spent missing you, wondering if you’re okay, whether or not I’d ever see you again, or if you were even alive. I’ve been living a damned half-life without you. You came here because you knew I’d keep you safe.”

I smile while looking down at my son — such a beautiful child. His skin is fair like his mother’s right now, but mine was fair when I was born, and I darkened up the older I got, and I can tell Gabriel will be the same. The small amount of hair that Gabriel has is dark like mine. He’s going to have loose curls like me, too.

“I never expected this when Ritchie woke me up,” I look into Brooke’s beautiful blue eyes. “But now that Gabriel is here, I will not let him go, Brooke. I won’t let either of you go. You’re gonna stay here with me where you belong.”

“I never stopped loving you, Dante.” Only Brooke and my mother would call me by my given name. Not even my father does. Well, unless I’ve pissed him off a little too much. “I only said what I said because I was scared he’d hurt you.”

“That doesn’t matter now, baby. Nothing matters. You’re here with me where you belong. I’m gonna make some calls. We need stuff for Gabriel, and you both need to get checked out.”

Brooke says nothing in response, she just nods her head. She's exhausted and fighting it.

I clasp the back of her neck, bringing her head forward. I plant a hard kiss on her forehead. “Everything will be okay.”