Hawk

5 - Feeling safe

Brooke

I didn’t want to go to the hospital; I knew there would be too many questions asked. Hawk wouldn’t hear of it; he called his parents over so his mother could talk some sense into me. I didn’t want him to wake them up so early, but he assured me they wouldn’t mind. As soon as they arrived, Taylor rushed over to me, checking me over and telling me how proud of me she was for leaving that place with my son, whom she adores, by the way.

BlackJack hugged me gently and kissed the top of my head before taking himself off to see his new grandson. He was so honored when I told him Gabriel had his name. It brought tears to my eyes because, I swear, I saw tears in his. Hawk’s parents welcomed me back into their lives without question. That’s how special they are.

Taylor ordered Ritchie to get the truck ready, and he did without question. Hawk rode Gabriel and me to the nearest hospital in the truck, with Ritchie sitting beside me. Hawk kept me beside him, his hand on my knee the whole way there. I felt emotional, still so loved by him.

Ritchie’s not as bad as I first thought. The big, tough guy seems to be smitten with my baby boy. He kept leaning over and stroking his little cheek with a smile on his face. He even joked to Gabriel that his grandparents were crazy for chasing us on a Harley. It made me laugh.

As soon as we arrived at the hospital, Hawk asked me to hand Gabriel to Ritchie. I did, reluctantly. Hawk and Ritchie then carried my son and me to a private room, where a doctor, whom I'm guessing works with the club to help avoid the cops from asking questions, came to speak to me.

Dr. Violet Hale is a tall blonde with dark brown eyes and a huge smile. She was kind when she examined Gabriel. She told me how beautiful she believed him to be, which, of course, I agreed. She told Hawk and me that Gabriel was in perfect health, nothing for us to worry about, which settled the unease in my gut.

She then asked her colleague, Annie, a nurse who was also in the room, one who is in a relationship with Ritchie, to bathe my baby. If it was all right with me, of course. I didn’t care as long as he stayed in the room. I didn’t feel comfortable with Gabriel leaving my sight. I have a fear inside of me that just won’t quit. I feel like if I don’t have Gabriel with me at all times, my father will find him and take him from me. I’ll lose my baby boy, and I’ll never see him again. I could not risk that - never will I risk that!

I know it’s irrational, but I know my father. He’s a monster, and he won’t stop until he finds me and punishes me for my disobedience.

While Annie bathed my son, Violet checked me over thoroughly, inside and out. I needed a couple of stitches inside from where Gabriel had torn me a little, but Violet said it was nothing serious. Once she’d finished, she helped me into a shower, and it felt so damn good to get the dirt, sweat, and blood off of my body. My father hadn’t allowed me to shower. He hadn’t even let me see a doctor after Gabriel’s birth. He said he wouldn’t waste the money and that I would heal eventually.

Violet handed me clean clothes that Hawk’s mother had collected and brought in for me, along with the diapers and clothes for Gabriel. I was so grateful.

She helped me to bed and then handed my son over. His little cries of hunger made me smile. I hadn’t really heard him cry before that moment, apart from at my father’s place. Violet helped my baby latch onto my breast, which ached like all hell, but I didn’t care. It took Gabriel almost an hour to feed, and I struggled to stay awake.

I’m struggling to stay awake right now, but Hawk’s parents are in the room, cooing over Gabriel. It’s funny how different a newborn looks after their first bath. The clothes Taylor bought for Gabriel fit him perfectly. He’s asleep in her arms right now.

“He looks so much like you, Dante.”

Hawk rolls his eyes at her with a smile on his face.

When we were together, we planned our whole lives out. Children, marriage, a house of our own, even a dog for our kids to play with. Not one that sheds a lot, but one of those hypoallergenic dogs that could grow up with our children. Hawk made it all sound so perfect.

He even told me how he would talk to my family. If they couldn’t support me, I’d tell them goodbye. I would have, too. That’s how in love I am with Hawk. All I could think about was being stuck at the farm for the rest of my life with a racist man who hated everyone. Literally. However, the plans Hawk and I made, even if I knew deep down were just a dream, were everything I ever wanted.

I won’t be stuck with my father, though, because I’m not going back there. Not for anything. I’m staying right here with Hawk and Gabriel.

I knew the moment I held Gabriel for the first time that I would never give him up, never keep him from his father. My little boy has the best daddy there is, and they deserve to know each other.

“Does this mean you’re home for good, darlin’?”

Home.

I like the sound of that.

The truth is, when I was with these people, they were my home. They made me feel like I was one of them, and I was so comfortable with them that I never wanted to leave.

I smile at BlackJack. He’s always been a sweetheart to me, more like a father than my own. These big, bad biker outlaws are so much more than the reputation they have acquired. Yes, they do bad things, illegal things, but it’s usually for good. Mostly.

Hawk’s arm slides around my shoulder as he scoots a little closer to me on the bed. “Yes, Dad, she’s home for good.”

I keep my eyes locked with Hawk’s. A small smile spreads across my face. That’s exactly what I want, to be home with him. The fact that he’s forgiven me so easily shows what an amazing man he is. I am so lucky to have him in my life and in Gabriel’s life.

I’ve now been awake for almost forty hours, and I don’t think I can keep my eyes open much longer. I’m exhausted, and now that I know everything is okay with both Gabriel and me, physically, and that Hawk is going to let us stay with him, that we are safe, I can sleep.

“I’m so tired,” I mumble with my eyes closed.

When did I lay my head on his shoulder?

I sense Hawk’s smile right before he lowers my head to the pillow below me. “Sleep, baby.”

“Don’t leave Gabriel alone. Please.”

I won’t be able to sleep unless I know Hawk keeps Gabriel with him. I don’t ever want my son out of either of our sights. I don’t trust my father as far as I can throw him. He might not know that I’m here, but that doesn’t mean I want to take any chances.

“Sleep,” Hawk kisses my head. “I won’t leave Gabriel, I...” His voice trails off as I lose myself to some much-needed sleep.