The Twelve Days of Christmas

Chapter 15

As I stormed through the double doors a little too forcefully, I spotted Ben stood to the side. His arms crossed in front of him and his eyes focused on the wall in front of him. He barely even acknowledged my presence, just switched effortlessly into walking and I dropped into step beside him.

I wanted to ask him about Alex and what the issue was. Ben’s attitude towards him was enough to make me wary. I just didn’t know how to go about it. “Ben?”

“Yes, miss.”

“Do you erm… I mean do you know… erm…”

“You would like to know the reason for my dislike of the prince?”

“I would yes.” Eternally grateful for him picking up on what I was trying to get at. There was an audible tut, and I wondered what was going through his mind. He seemed to be mentally considering the past and how he wanted to frame it.

Finally, he paused and laid his hand on my forearm. “Alex is not some awful person, and I know I have given you that impression. He is wayward and misguided, or was I suppose. It has been years since I was the one running around cleaning up his mess. He just always seemed like he was desperate to get as much life in as possible before it came time to take the crown. Like a man given a death sentence, almost. He would grab at any element of life he could grasp. It just tended to result in people, good innocent people getting caught in the firing line.”

“Well, thank you for telling me.” The news was not what I had expected and Ben didn’t really give me much in the way of details. There was no point in pushing him further. I knew it would do me no good. He had already told me more than he was comfortable with.

“He may have changed, but… well… you are too sweet and innocent to be getting caught up with him. I would never forgive myself if you got hurt, not like…”

“Sarah?” Yet more pieces of the puzzle. Ben’s eyes flared, and it was clear he hadn’t expected me to know her name or anything about her, for that matter. The flare soon fizzled out, and he settled. “Did Sarah have something to do with Alex?” I wasn’t sure I even wanted to know the answer. It was much easier on me to pretend the prince had never been near another woman. I had never considered myself to be a jealous person, but he was releasing a lot of emotions from me that I hadn’t expected.

“No, not Alex. A man like him destroyed her. Took everything good about her and left her broken. I couldn’t watch that happen twice in one lifetime. I was powerless last time, but I was told to protect you, and I will.” I tiptoed up to my highest possible height and kissed Ben on the cheek, even if I was closer to his jaw. Rubbing at his arm slightly.

I could have said thank you, I could have said any number of things, but I knew doing so would only make Ben more uncomfortable than he already was. I linked my arm through his, just like I had earlier in the night, and let him lead me back to the formal dining room.

Just before we crossed the threshold, I remembered my dress and the snow play I had stupidly taken part in and started searching my dress for mud and marks. “You still look amazing, and the dress fared well. Chin up, shoulders back. Smile, I’m not leading you to the stocks.” He led me into the room and all the way to my chair. I uttered my apologies to the table and seated myself as gracefully as I could.

I had expected to feel awkward, as though I didn’t belong, but I didn’t, not really. I mean, I didn’t fit in either. I just sat there. Occasionally, someone would speak to me out of politeness, but my responses were limited. Even I could manage to comment on the standard of food or the weather. It was all very British and polite.

The food was much less stuffy than I had expected. It was a simple roast dinner of sorts. I suspected we were eating pheasant, but other than that, it wasn’t much different to what I would feed myself at home. Although I didn’t tend to keep it warm with a silver cover. Or have gold rimmed wine glasses. The wine was the best I had tasted and similar to the whiskey in terms of smoothness. I didn’t even like red wine, but I could get used to it if it all tasted like that.

I waited and waited, trying not to look at the double doors. There was no sign of Alex. I had expected him to be right behind me and slip in all cheekiness and excuses. The only other seat at the table that had been empty when I came in must have been his. Typically, he was pride of place, right beside William and only a couple of seats from the King himself.

No one seemed concerned about him not being there and I wondered if that was because they were all used to his behaviour. The same way in which Ben was used to it. Did they all expect him to be what? Selfish? Irresponsible? I still didn’t really know what it was that Ben thought about him, but whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

As the pudding was served, I gave up hope of him showing up. Somewhat disappointed. Although, I wasn’t really sure why. The spotted d**k and custard that was placed in front of me was streaming away. I glanced around the room and every one was just as steam filled. I wondered how the staff managed to cook so much and get it all out so perfectly hot. It was impressive.

The gentleman to my left turned to me just as I put a mouthful of sponge in my mouth and I cursed myself. I had been so eager to see how soft and spongy it was that I had taken a way too large of a mouthful.

“It is the king’s favourite. How do you like it?” I nodded slightly and hoped he would turn back to the person on the other side of him. He had been pretty much constantly occupied by the young blonde on the other side of him. Unlike me, she looked like she belonged at the king’s table. It was enough to make me feel self-conscious again.

I fidgeted pretty much constantly until they took the bowl from in front of me. Just as the staff member backed away, I heard the double doors open. Trying my best to see behind all the staff milling around. Then I saw him. He had finally slipped inside. Wearing a completely different suit and not even glancing in my direction.