His Abused Mate, The Alpha's Redemption

My new home

Chapter 6

Well, that had to have been the most uncomfortable car ride in the history of car rides. Simon made sure to keep his distance, which I did appreciate, and I am sure he asked his men not to talk as everyone was silent the whole ride. Not that I wanted them to talk to me, that would have been really stressful.

I was pleasantly surprised to see that there was no welcoming committee when we arrived, I guess he either didn’t inform his pack we were on our way or asked them to keep their distance for now. The only person who was there was an older woman with blonde hair and the same green eyes as Sienna. She also looked quite like her.

She introduced herself to me as Simon’s mother, Jennifer, and helped take my bags up to my room, showing me the way. I appreciated the fact that it was just the two of us and not some male I don’t know following me to my room, even if it was just to bring my bags.

Jennifer is a nice woman, I know she didn’t do enough to help Sienna as a child, but I think a lot of that was because of her overbearing mate. I felt comfortable enough with her, and at least she didn’t act strange or uncomfortable around me like me like most people do.

I even got a room with a lock so I could feel secure and safe, especially at nights. It felt good to know that no one could just walk in on me. At home I didn’t have that luxury, my parents were too worried that I would do something stupid to myself because of my trauma and depression so no locked doors for me and check ups when ever they wanted.

Not that my home felt like home anymore when I went back to it, but at least it was somewhere I was familiar with. Here it is strange and new, I have no idea what the people are like apart from the ones Sienna spoke about, like my mate, her mum and younger brother.

Out of all of them, Stuart sounds like the best one, then her mum. Simon, on the other hand, sounded like a mini version of their dad, and that is the last person I want to be mated to. I know he wasn’t as bad as him, I also know he had nothing to do with the trafficking, but that doesn’t make him a catch either.

It is not like it works like, so you don’t sell women as s*x slave wow you are Mr. Perfect. No, he followed everything his dad said, treated his sister like crap, and didn’t care that she could be kidnapped or worse dead, who is like that with their sister. Even mine cared at the time, I guess love and care have a time limit, and I had passed mine.

I started to get into a routine where I would have all of my meals in my room with Jennifer, I wasn’t eating much, since the fall out with Henry my apatite has gone down by quite a lot. It had really affected my mood to hear what he thought about me. It hurt to think he thought so little of me and what I had gone through.

I hate that my family would put their own comfort above my pain it just showed me how little I meant to them and how little the sacrifice I made meant to everyone. He wouldn’t have his son and my parents, and the Alpha family wouldn’t have that little boy if it wasn’t for me.

They couldn’t even let me meet my nephew, didn’t even talk about him to me, hadn’t even told me his fu.cking name. So yes, I was upset and angry at every single one of them and felt like they all would have been happier if I had actually died. I am sure they wished that I never came back, then they never would have had to feel any guilt or worry about me ever again.

Jennifer doesn’t make me feel bad about my poor apatite. Her guilt towards Sienna has affected hers, and she does not eat too much herself. We are quite the pair sitting together, picking at our food and pushing it around the plate as we eat enough to keep us going and not much more.

She speaks to me about the things she regrets in life and what she wishes she could change, and I talk about little things to do with the way I feel and how I felt coming back home. I don’t like to talk about what I went through with Alpha Thomas with her as then she will know what Sienna had to go through at his hands as well. So I keep it to things like the loss of my wolf while I was there and how long I had to wait to hear her voice again while the wolfsbane came out of my system and she regained her strength.

I am still not ready to meet the pack, and I don’t want to be around Simon yet, I know Nala wants her mate, but she is wary of trusting him too. She has seen my memories, I know she has talked to his wolf a couple of times and believes him to be good but I need to protect myself for now, I am just not strong enough yet.

If the people who loved and cared about me all of my life can treat me the way they did, how can I trust a person who I know has treated their own flesh and blood badly to treat me right. No, for now, I am happy in my room with Jennifer to keep me company. I mean if my first mate who has supposedly cared about me so much since I was a pup can just get rid of me easily so I don’t ruin his new happy life, what can I expect out of a stranger who I know isn’t the best person.

I haven’t even bothered to switch on my phone in over a month, who is going to call or text me that I want to talk to. I know that my family has resorted to calling the pack or Simon to be more accurate. Jennifer has been honest about that. She knows I don’t want to talk to them or see them and won’t push me into it.

As long as I eat and don’t shut down and stop talking, she will keep supporting my decisions, hoping that I will become stronger. She has offered me various things like counselling, but it has been that long now. I am not sure I want to open that can of worms and think of it all again.

It is bad enough to have to relive it every night through the nightmares without having to see it every day as well as I speak about what has happened. Maybe one day, but for now, I am not ready, I have gotten good at putting up my walls throughout the day to get through them.

So that was my life eat, wash, sit, eat, chat, eat, sit, sleep, then rinse and repeat. You would think I would get a bit bored by the same monotonous routine day in, day out, but it was actually quite comforting. No one expected anything of me. I was able to spend time on my own, not worried that someone would come in and be disappointed at my lack of improvement, and I also enjoyed the time I spent with Jennifer.

So, on the whole, I was actually much more comfortable here than I was in my own room in my own home. Well, at least once I got used to the place anyway. If it wasn’t for Nala’s occasional insistence that we can not go on like this forever and that we would eventually have to speak to our mate, it would be perfect.

I know she is right. I may not like the guy much, but even I know it is not fair to keep him and his wolf in limbo like this forever. I will eventually have to talk to him and then I will have to decide if I actually want to have a mate or even if I can bring myself to let someone in enough to be a proper mate to.

I am not sure if I can answer either of those questions. Right now, that is a definite no. Just the thought of a man near me sends me into a panic. That is the only thing that is keeping Nala from pushing me too far. She doesn’t want to lose her mate because she has forced the issue before I am ready for it.

The problem is I am not sure if I will ever be ready for it and that again is not fair on my mate to keep him holding on when there could be a second chance waiting out there for him that could make him happy, instead of wasting his life waiting around for me.

I know I am being selfish, but I am scared that I have nowhere to go if I do reject him. There is no way I can go back to my family after what has been said, so then what? I can’t be a rogue or go to a strange pack who would want a broken girl that is frightened of her own shadow.

So for now, we are all stuck in my circle of hell, never getting anywhere, but unable to get out and do something different.