Chapter 5: Talking
1341 Words
Chapter 5
Elle
I put my key into the door and open it, revealing my apartment. I was afraid that it would be messy, but it's not, alright who cleaned it? I know for a fact that it was really messy when I left. I'm sure it's Vicky. I am silently happy that it’s cleaned and I have to remind myself to thank Vicky later.
"I can make some tea, would you like some?" Cody asks as we enter the living room.
"I would", I say and smile at him. "I'm just gonna put on something comfier".
"Yeah okay", Cody says, walking into my kitchen. He knows his way around, he has been here many times, and especially the week before he went to Afghanistan, we wanted to spend as much time together as possible.
"You know I do have some of your clothes here", I tell him.
"You do? Why?" Cody calls from the kitchen.
Because when I missed him the most I used to dress in his clothes and lay down in bed and cry. That was stupid, I know, but that was how I coped. It makes me sound like a mad lady but a lot of girls dressed in their boyfriend's clothes. The difference is that he wasn’t my boyfriend at the time, only my very best friend.
"Long story", I call walking into my room.
"We've got time", Cody calls.
We do? Yeah right. Soon you're off to Afghanistan again and we will be back to square one. Only the thought of it makes me shiver.
But that only means that we need to take care of the time we do have together.
"Telling you soon", I shout, I don’t want to scream through the apartment like this, I will get a sore throat.
I carefully strip out of my dress and put on a soft orange tank top and a pair of black soft pants. I walk into the bathroom and wash off the makeup and put my hair in a bun on top of my head.
Now I look like me again. Not that it's any better. I don't like how I look, but I'm comfortable with it. I think. And Cody is used to seeing me like this, so if he fell for me, he fell for this, not the Elle with a lot of makeup.
I look in the mirror and shrug, then I walk out to the living room where Cody just now, puts two cups on the coffee table.
"Well I'm gonna go get those clothes you said you have here", Cody says. "This military suite is not very comfortable to sit on the sofa with".
"But you do look handsome in it", I wink, because it's true, he really does look handsome in it. "So before you change..." I take up my phone and snap a photo of him. "But that doesn't mean that I like you being a soldier".
The last thing I say is a bit lower, looking down on my lap. Not wanting Cody to hear, but when I look up I can see him frown and I know that he did hear.
"I'm gonna change, but then we're talking about this", he says, and I nod. I guess we have to, while we can.
Cody comes back in a pair of gray soft pants and he's just now pulling a green shirt over his head.
God those abs! I just wanna lick them. But that would be stupid, considering the situation, so I contain myself. I can't help staring at him though. Even after he pulls down the green shirt, you can easily see his muscles.
"So I guess you liked the view?" Cody says slyly, sitting down on the sofa beside me.
"Don't flatter yourself Cody", I smirk and he just chuckles.
"You have a lot of my clothes, what did you do when I was gone? Did you clean out my whole closet?" He asks with a chuckle.
I get red on my face. I almost did that, but Vicky stopped me.
"Nooo..." I say but he doesn't believe me. "I didn't, but I almost did".
I explain to Cody why I have his clothes. And when I say explain, I mean, explain. And that includes everything. I just need to get this out of my system because otherwise, I'm gonna explode, besides I need to tell him before it's too late anyway, I mean who knows? Cody maybe gets a call from his boss tomorrow and has to leave me again.
When I'm done I feel slow and silent tears flow down my cheeks, down from my chin, and dripping down in my tea. I hear the dripping sound, and somehow it calms me down a bit.
"Elle I didn’t know I..." Cody says.
"Move in", I say out of the blue, cutting him off. I didn’t even know I was going to say this before the words came out of my mouth.
"What?" Cody asks surprised.
"Move in here with me, you're old enough, even though I'm four months older than you", I say. "I don't wanna miss a single second of the time you're home".
If he didn't think I was crazy before, he sure does now.
"Okay", he says.
Now it's my turn to be surprised. I did not expect this answer at all.
"What?" I ask as if I heard wrong.
Cody chuckles and leans closer. I’m starting to get goosebumps all over my skin. I am feeling very nervous right now.
"I said, okay, I'll move in", he says.
I kiss his lips.
"I love you", I say.
"I'm never getting tired of hearing those words", Cody smirks. "I love you, Elle, so much, you don't even understand how much".
I become warm whenever Cody tells me he loves me, and this was the fifth time. Yes, I counted them. Whatever.
"And now we really need to talk about the other thing Elle", Cody says.
I sigh. Yeah. Maybe we do. But I don't wanna. I don't wanna tell him that I don't want him to be a soldier.
"Elle, I know it's hard but..." He says but I interrupt him.
"No you don't", I say, looking at him. "You don't understand. You're out there, you don't need to be home and worry. So you understand how many times I've been so worried? Worried over that I might not get to see your eyes again. Or see you walk through the door with the biggest smile, or just hearing you say my name. Do you know how many times I've been scared to walk into the bakery because I was afraid of hearing bad news from your parents, or how panicked I've been when I've seen that soldiers have died in the newspaper? You don't understand".
Cody sits quietly. He's just looking at me. I can see the pain in his eyes. Oh no. I didn't want that. This was why I didn't want to talk about this. It’s too painful, for both of us.
"I'm sorry", Cody says.
I sigh and shake my head.
"No babe, it's not your fault", I say. "I just ... I don't wanna lose you".
Cody puts down his and my cup on the table and takes my hands.
"You won't", he says. "Okay?"
"Okay", I say.
I turn in the sofa and so does Cody. He lays down on the sofa and gets comfy before I lay down between his legs and lean my back against his chest.
Cody starts stroking my hair. I immediately feel relaxed.
"Cody, you'll stay with me, right?" I ask sleepily.
"Always", he says, and I almost feel like crying. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear. But I also know that it won’t be always.
And with that one word, I fall asleep with a smile on my lips. Something I haven't done in six months.
- Writer
