Always You

Chapter 18

James PoV

I screwed it. Lily went home but she never gets out of her room. How can I be so bad in confession?

"What happened?" Natasha asked.

"I did a very bad job."

"How bad?"

"I told Lily, that we are cousins and about our little play."

"What?" Natasha's voice an octave.

"Oh, my god James! How can you be so honest? Telling her that we are cousins was enough, period!"

"I don't know, it just rolled out from my mouth as I looked at her face. Then, I told Lily that I like her."

"What? You even made it worse! How can you not think? First, you told her about the play then the next second, you told her that you like her? What will she think of you, James? My goodness, you are an i***t!"

"Will you please stop calling me that? You are not helping at all!" As I shoved my own hands on my face.

"I'm sorry, okay? I know it was my idea but I didn't know that it complicates this way." Natasha said.

"That one is better. You should have apologized for your failed ideas." I said.

"You know what, it's time for my mission!" Natasha said as if there was a bulb of a good idea on the top of her head.

"What kind of mission is that?" I asked, curious.

"Don't worry, it will be helpful! Just tell me where is the room of your old housekeeper?" Her reply.

"Lily's room." My quick response.

"And the stockroom?" Her next question.

"The big room before the kitchen," I answered.

"I think, I'll start with that room."

"What are you up to?" I asked.

"I'll search for your letters ten years ago," Natasha answered.

"Why would you even search it here? The nurses have probably thrown them in the hospital's big garbage can!"

I remembered how sad I was when I did not get any response from Lily.

"Poor, James. You thought all this time your letters for Lily were thrown? Your mother has sent them!" Natasha declared.

"Mom, sent them?" I asked unbelievably.

"Yes! Because he respected your young feelings, his son's feelings." Natasha said with a grin.

"Mom did not tell me this." I was feeling thrilled.

"You did not ask." Which was true.

All I know they were not delivered. I kept it from my mom but she knew it all along, how did she know it? I was secretive and really careful about it.

"If my letters were sent, then Lily should have received them," I concluded.

"She hasn't, that's why you did not receive any reply from Lily. Someone in between kept it away from her and I think it was her mother, James." Natasha said.

"You think it will matter now?" I asked.

Lily's mother must also be right. We were young and maybe, she thought it was silly or even crazy that's why she kept it from her daughter.

"Of course, it matters! Knowing how good you are at writing it must be long and expressive. I'm hoping I can read them before Lily can have it."

"You can't do that! It is for Lily and only for Lily." I said with a hint of warning.

"Alright, I don't want to be on your bad side. I see it once." She said hands on the air.

My mind was into the letters, I wished they were kept somewhere else and not burnt a long time ago.

Those letters were my real feelings, my sadness leaving her behind and certainly not my farewell because I promised to see her again at the right time.