At His Mercy

Passionate Encounters

**Enar's POV**

What am I supposed to do with Adaline? I can't even get any work done because the events that unfolded this morning kept replaying over and over in my head. It was around three in the morning when I heard Adaline screaming for me. I had no idea what was going on, but when I opened her bedroom door and saw her sweating and thrashing about in bed, I knew it was just a nightmare. But it was what she was screaming that chilled me.

"Please, Enar, don't let him hurt me! Enar he's going to kill me!" She hysterically cried and my heart twisted and ached in an unfamiliar way.

I rushed to her side and shook her awake. I saw it all, the relief that it wasn't real, the embarrassment when she saw me, and then the anger when I wanted to help. Did it make her feel like she was weak if she accepted my help even more than she already is? Why couldn't she admit that she needed people other than herself? How can I make her realize that she can trust me, that she can let me in and I won't hurt her? How can I make it better when she is literally pushing me away with all her strength?

When I grabbed her wrists and pinned them behind her back, I did not expect to see her eyes widen in wonder, and her breathing calm down. Usually, being restrained makes a person more desperate to be loose, but being restrained somehow makes her feel better. She struggled a bit, testing my hold, and when I held her tighter she stopped moving. I could see the conflict in her eyes as she stared up at me. She was just as confused with herself as I was.

"This." I squeezed tighter and a sweet moan escaped her lips. I felt something stir in the lower pit of my stomach, and it took so much control to not kiss her. To taste every corner of her mouth and devour her. "You like this. How surprising."

I shook my head and tried to focus on the paperwork in front of me, but my body was already responding to the memories of last night. How I leaned in to breathe the same air as her, the way I felt her pulse quicken just under my fingertips, and how her eyes looked from me to my lips. Like she was asking me to kiss her. God, I wanted to. More than I wanted anything in my entire existence, I wanted to taste her, feel her, explore everything she is. But I didn't. Instead, I slowly released her, as I leaned away, giving her her space. Her eyes changed quickly and back again was that damned mask.

"Adaline-"

"Please leave." She whispered, looking away as always.

"Ad-"

"Enar, you said you would keep things professional between us. If that isn't possible, then I cannot stay." Adaline stood and walked quietly to her adjoining bathroom, shutting the door and locking it.

I sat for a few moments, trying to figure out how to do all of this. How to reign in my desire for her while still helping her with whatever she needs, but being professional about it all. It was an impossible task, especially if she is going to be screaming for me at night. In her nightmares she wants me to save her. I want to do that for her. But once she wakes up, she is someone else. Stronger, more guarded, and unreadable. How can I make everything better if she doesn't let me in even just a little?

"En peng för dina tankar?" (Penny for your thoughts?) I was so gone in my own mind, that I did not hear my brother come into my office. I narrowed my eyes at him. One thing I do not like is when my brother comes to my side when he is completely unwelcome. I like my privacy, even more now that Adaline is here. "Don't get your d**k all knotted up, I was just coming to let you know that I am going to send Emil to fetch your grandmother with the necessary paperwork. The old hag will be your problem soon enough."

"Du överger inte familjen." (You don't abandon family.) I said harshly between clinched teeth. Viggo rolled his eyes and turned to leave my office just as Adaline was walking by. 'Shit.' I thought to myself.

"De saker jag skulle göra-" (The things I would do-")

"ENOUGH!" I shouted louder than I intended. Adaline looked at us confused and then continued down the hall, most likely towards the kitchen. I watched as Viggo watched her, biting his lips as he probably imagined foul things. "Stay away from her, Viggo. She is my employee and completely off limits to you."

Viggo shrugged his shoulders and mumbled under his breath. "Eh, she's hot but not really my type anyways."

I was alone again in my office, and still couldn't get an ounce of work done. A knock caused me to look up and find Adaline hovering in the doorway. My chest tightened as I finally got a good look at her this morning. Black athletic shorts, an olive green tank top, and her hair pulled back in a low pony tail with just a few tendrils to frame her face. No make-up, and so absolutely stunning. The only thing I didn't like was that damn mask hiding every thought and emotion. I wanted to know her, really know everything about her and she was not making it easy.

"I just wanted to go over my job expectations. I know I am to care for Mrs. Maye, but I also see that you haven't dusted. I'm guessing you travel too much, but do not like people in your space when you are gone." She's observant, and completely correct. When I know I am going to be home for an extended time, I'll use one of my brother's maids, but I have been too occupied to call one. "I can also do the housework here. We haven't discussed payment, but I am guessing it's far more than necessary so I can do more-"

"Whatever you are comfortable with, Adaline," I whispered. She stopped talking and her eyes looked into mine. She is so guarded, especially when she is around me. "Though my traveling is going to slow down until further notice, I don't mind hiring help for the household chores and cooking."

"I'm a neat freak, and have a touch of OCD when it comes to cleaning. Honestly, living here, if it isn't done my way, it is going to annoy the hell out of me. So hiring someone else will actually make me severely uncomfortable-"

"As I said," I smiled. "Whatever you are comfortable with."

Adaline nodded and so soon, she left my office. Everything in my brain keeps telling me that I need to keep to my word and have a professional relationship with Adaline, but my body, my insides all tell me something completely different. I have always trusted my instincts, but my instincts and my brain have never been polar opposites before now. What I should do, and what I want to do are two completely different things.

I glanced at my watch and was shocked to see that hours had passed and it was already two in the afternoon. I haven't even stopped for a break yet to eat. After finishing up some paperwork and a quick call to my finance manager, I headed for the kitchen following a delicious smell. Because I am away so often, I never have time for a home-cooked meal. I always dine out, but nothing beats this smell in my own home. When I turned the corner, I froze at the sight in front of me. Adaline was squatting in front of the oven, taking something out and placing it on the stove top. Her ass was absolutely perfect, and those long legs... f**k I have never wanted someone so bad. I cleared my throat as I entered, so maybe she wouldn't know I was watching her.

I didn't even think I had much food to cook, but whatever she conjured smelt divine. "Smells amazing. Who taught you to cook?" I sat at the island on one of the barstools.

Adaline was moving swiftly around the kitchen with familiarity. She looked like she belonged in my kitchen, belonged in my home with me. "Hope you don't mind, but since I'll be the one cooking and cleaning, I rearranged your cabinets. Things flow better now." She served two plates and slid one over to me. "You didn't have much in your cabinets, but one thing I am good at is making what I have work." A sad look crossed her face and then was gone.

I twirled the pasta onto my fork and took a bite. It was creamy and had a little spice to it, but it was good. Really good. "Mmm." I moaned. "This is good, it's different. What is it?"

"Rotel chicken spaghetti." She smiled as she chewed. "Pasta, a can of Rotel, some chicken, seasonings, a dash of hot sauce and cream of chicken. It would be better if there was cheese but yours was extremely expired. Always being on a tight budget helped me be resourceful with what I had. This whole meal cost less than ten dollars and there is plenty left over for dinner and lunch tomorrow." It made me a little sad to hear her try to stretch out money like that and even stretch out a meal to last. I have been fortunate enough to never have leftovers, and now I understand how I was taking something so simple for granted. "Any allergies or foods you or Mrs. Maye don't like? I wanted to make a grocery list today."

I was already half way through my plate, eating like an eager child. I looked up to see her holding back a laugh as I slurped up the noodle hanging from my mouth. Smiling, I grabbed a napkin and cleaned the corners of my mouth. "Sorry. It's really good." I thought for a minute but could not really come up with anything. "No, we don't have allergies and there isn't anything I won't try at least once."

We sat in silence for the rest of lunch, and I felt the electrical current between us buzzing. She was only a few feet from me, but it felt like miles. I wanted her near me, to be so close I would only have to reach out and touch her. Adaline would look at the corner of her eyes at me and I at her. Did she feel this too? She must have because her body was reacting just as much to me as I am to her. Her breathing has picked up. I can tell by the pace of her chest rising and falling. She has been rubbing her legs tighter together, is she throbbing for me and I have not even touched her in a sensual way yet? I wonder if she thinks about how it would feel for me to touch her. If she thinks about how it would feel for me to really explore her entire body.

I shook that thought process out of my head. 'Be professional. Be professional.' I chanted over and over in my head. Finally, we were both done with our meal and I was the first to get up to gather the plates. "I can do that." She started to stand.

"You cooked, let me clean up." However, she was not listening to me. She took the plates from my hand and went to the sink. "Adaline-"

"If it isn't done my way, I feel it won't be done correctly." She turned to look at me. "Enar, when was the last time you washed dishes or packed away food? When was the last time you picked up a broom or mop?" She raised her brow at me as I said nothing. Because honestly, I have not done those things since I was an adolescent who had chores from my parents. "Exactly." She giggled and continued to put soap on the sponge.

I returned to my spot at the kitchen island and watched her. Adaline is beautiful, and not just in her looks. You can tell she has a beautiful heart, a complex mind. There is beauty in her strength and resilience, but also so much pain and anger in her eyes. Who could have hurt her? What did they do to make her so guarded against the world? She started to hum to herself and the tune was familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. But I noticed as she hummed that tune, her body relaxed and the tension seemed to disappear from her shoulders. The song soothed her and I got a chance to see a little bit of who she is when she is not hiding.

Adaline grabbed a dish towel from the drawer on her right and dried her hands. When she turned her body to walk towards the stove she saw me still sitting and staring. Just as quickly as I blinked, her mask was on and the tension returned to her whole body. I wonder if she will ever be comfortable around me. I saw her swallow hard as we stared at each other, neither one of us speaking. There was a longing in her eyes, but I didn't know for what. What did she want from me? What can I give her to make her relax? To make her happy?

"Why do you stare at me?" She asked, breaking the s****l tension in the room. I know she felt it and I sure as hell did. "I can always feel it when you stare at me. It makes me uncomfortable."

"Does it?" I tilted my head to the side and studied her some more. Her face flushed pink and I started to look at all of her. Her entire body. "Adaline, you are such a beautiful woman." She rolled her eyes and scoffed. "You don't believe me?"

"Of course that is all you would see." She whispered, looking at the wall passed me. I could see her jaw clinch tight and she folded her arms over herself. "Thats all anyone sees."

Unable to stand where this conversation was going, I stood and walked towards her. She still would not look at me as I was only a few inches in front of her. I tried to reach up to caress her cheek, but she flinched and pushed my hand away. Then I had an idea. When I went to caress her face, and she stopped me as I predicted she would, I grabbed her wrist just like I did in her room. I held it at the curve of her lower back and pulled her to me. A sigh broke between her lips and she was staring up at me with those warm brown eyes. With my other hand, I held her chin in place, tight, but not enough to seriously hurt her. Her chest rose and fell rapidly, eyes dilating. She liked to be handled roughly.

"Adaline, that is not all I see. I see the pain in your eyes when you drop your guard for even a second. I see how you relax when you are humming, and I see that cooking and cleaning is more than just being a neat freak. You like being able to control your surroundings in even the littlest of ways. You rearranged the kitchen not because it didn't make sense, but because it gives you that little bit of control you crave. And I can see that even though you want control in these small things, you don't want control in this." I pulled her even closer, her breasts squished on my chest. "You won't let me caress you sweetly, but you like it when I am rough with you. Oh, Adaline, I see more than your beauty. I see that you only want to depend on yourself because so many others have disappointed you in the past. I see that you want to help people because you want to put good back into the world that wasn't good to you. Adaline, despite some things I know nothing about that you have experienced, it did not turn you bitter and cold. I see a beautiful woman, a strong woman, who I wish would let me be all she needs."

Tears filled her eyes and I expected her to blink them away, but instead she let them fall. Was she finally being vulnerable with me? Was she going to open up to me and we can figure out what this connection is for us, what it could be? "No." She whispered. I immediately let her go, feeling like she slapped me in the face with such a simple word. I have never put myself out there, and I have never thought I could be hurt by someone I hardly know. "Everything in my head is telling me that you are wrong for me. That you're dangerous and would only ruin me."

"I would never hurt you!"

"You don't even know me, Enar!"

"I know this!" I grabbed her hair by the nape of her neck and pulled her back into my arms. "I know what I feel when you are close, when your skin touches mine. I know what your body needs, and I know that if you trusted me I could take care of your heart and soul. I am not the person who hurt you, Adaline, I am a man that could give you everything. I could make you feel safe. Not just feel safe, you would be safe with me."

"And that is how you will ruin me," She whispered. "I have trusted someone with me before. That they would protect me, love me. When that was ripped from me, I was shallow and empty. Afraid, pathetic. I'll never give someone that kind of power again. I don't know you, and I don't trust you."

I released her again, and stepped back a few feet. I watched the tears vanish like they were never there, I saw the mask solid again, and her eyes void of all that emotion I thought I just saw. Adaline's walls are more like a fortress fortified by such fear and anger. I'll never be able to know her, to cherish her unless I take away that fear, to rid her of all that anger. But to do that, I have to know more about her past. I have to keep digging. I promised myself, I promised her I wouldn't go that far. What I really want is for her to tell me, for Adaline to confide in me. Digging up her past will only give her more reason not to trust me. I have to do this the hard way, make her trust me in time. I am not a patient man, but I could wait forever if it meant winning her heart.

"Okay," I whispered. "I'll give you your space and I will not push the issue any further. I promised you a professional relationship and I apologize for crossing that boundary. It won't happen again."

I turned on my heel and walked slowly back to my office. I was composed, focused, and losing my s**t in my head. I had to take this at her pace, follow her cues and listen to what she wanted and needed. I can do that for her. In time, Adaline could be mine. Will be.