Painless

Chapter 8

"N-Nagseselos? Why would I be jealous?"

Inilayo niya yung mukha niya sa mukha ko at saka naman ako nakahinga ng maayos. He chuckled then fixed his eyes on me while smiling.

"Don't worry, hindi ko girlfriend Bee. There's no need for you to get jealous" he said then gently pinched my nose.

"Hindi nga ako nagseselos," nguso ko. "Bakit naman ako magseselos?"

"Binibiro lang kita," tawa niya. "It's good that you are here."

"Why?" bobang tanong ko.

"Hmm?"

"Why are you happy that I'm here?"

I'm giving meaning to everything he says and this is not good. Pinapaasa ko yung sarili ko. Gusto kong batukan yung sarili dahil sa tanong ko pero deep inside, I'm anticipating that he would say that he wanted to see me or to get to know me better or something between those lines.

Simula nung naka-develop ako ng romantic feelings kay Stan ay napapadalas na din yung panunuod ko ng romantic movies. Nagiging hopeless romantic tuloy ako. Ayokong umasa pero ano ang magagawa ko?

"Because you're here," simpleng sagot niya. "Does that makes any sense?"

Naguguluhan man ay tumango ako sa kanya at ngumiti. Hindi ko ma-gets kung ano yung pinupunto niya pero tumango nalang ako. It sounded deep but I didn't bother to go deeper.

"By the way, wala ka bang gagawin ngayon?" tanong niya.

I shook my head. "I don't have plans. Bakit?"

"Cool," ngiti niya. "Will you watch my game?"

Kumunot yung noo ko. "Game?"

"May basketball game kami. Maybe you wanted to watch?" pagbabasakali niya.

"Okay," tanging sagot ko.

Napangiti siya. "Great! Mamaya pa yun and we still got time. May gusto sana akong ipakita sa'yo," sabik niyang sabi.

"Ano naman yun?" tanong ko.

"Basta. It's a surprise," tumaas-baba yung kilay niya.

Surprise? May surprise siya sa akin? At ano naman? Kakapasok ko lang tapos may pa-surprise na siya. Ayoko namang sabihin na baka special ako pero ganun nalang yung pag-asa ko.

"Sige," tango ko.

"I reallu wanna show you something." tumayo siya at nilahad yung kamay niya. "Come on"

"Saan?" tanong ko.

"Secret nga," he chuckled.

Surprise nga Dane, diba? Alin ba sa surprise ang hindi mo makuha?

"I promise, magugustuhan mo ito," ngiti niya.

Ngumiti ako pabalik at tinanggap ko yung kamay niya saka niya ako kinaladkad palabas ng cafeteria. Gusto ko sana siyang pigilan dahil maiiwan namin yung mga kaibigan niya pero namayani yung curiosity ko. Saan kaya niya ako dadalhin?

Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang hakbang na yung tinahak namin bago kami huminto sa harap ng isang pinto. Nakasiguro ako na sa kabila ng pintong ito ay ang rooftop.

Hindi na ako nagreklamo pa at nagpatianod sa hila ni Stanley. He grabbed the door knob and opened the door. Medyo nasilaw ako sa liwanag galing sa labas kaya napapikit ako na agad ko namang minulat.

Nagniningning yung mga mata ko nang makita ang iba't ibang uri ng halaman. There were flowers of different sorts, vegetables, vines and a lot more. Ito na yata ang pinakamalaking garden na nakita ko.

"Wow" tanging sambit ko. I can't explain how amazed I am. Ngayon lang ako nakapunta sa isang malaking garden nang malapitan. I only see them in front of the screen and on the magazines. But now, I can now touch and feel the leaves, I can now smell the scent of flowers. There's definitely a first time for everything! "This is the most beautiful place I've gone so far."

"Talaga?" I heard Stanley say from behind.

Nagsitindigan yung balahibo ko nang maramdaman yung lapit niya sa akin. Hindi naman sobrang lapit pero ganun nalang yung kiliti na nararamdaman ko sa tiyan.

"O-Oo," nauutal kong sagot. "So far."

"Wait til' you see the best part," sabi niya.

I stepped forward before facing him kasi baka hindi ko makayanan yung lapit niya. Kumunot yung noo. May best pa dito? There I thought this is the best. "The best part?"

"Come on," aya niya sa akin. "I'm gonna show you."

Sumunod ako sakanya hanggang marating namin and isang parte ng garden pero pinalibutan ito ng net.

"Anong meron dito?" tanong ko sakanya. Ngumiti lang siya at may tinuro sa loob.

"Look closer," turo niya sa loob.

Naguguluhan ko siyang tiningnan pero sumunod pa rin ako. Nilapit ko yung mukha sa loob ng net at tiningnan yung parte kung saan niya tinuro yung daliri niya. Nung una hindi ko maintindihan kung ano yung nakita ko, pero nung naging malinaw sa akin, isa pala itong paru-paru.

"Ang ganda!"

Napapalakpak at napatalon ako sa pagkamangha kaya isa-isang nagsiliparan ang mga paru-paro sa loob ng net. Nakanganga ko itong pinagmasdan. Ang dami pala nila! Ang ganda nilang panuorin.

They're beautiful and all but they are trapped. I somehow feel their sympathy. I can compare my life to their's. Gaya ng paru-paro, malaya akong gawin kung ano yung gusto ko sa loob ng cage— sa silid ko. But the fact that I am trapped doesn't mean I get to do everything I want.

"This is the school's butterfly garden."

Pagkasabi nun ni Stanley ay agad kong pinalibot yung tingin ko. Tama. Kaya pala ang laki ng net. Kalahati ng rooftop ay pinaligiran ng net na para bang cage ng mga butterflies.

"Bakit mo ako dinala dito?" I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. When I first saw you I knew that I needed to show you this place?" Nasa mga halaman yung mga mata niya nang sabihin niya yun sa akin. Kagaya ko, mukhang namangha din siya sa paligid. Who wouldn't?

I suddenly feel down. Pati siya nakita yung resemblance ng mga paru-paro sa akin. Although I don't know what he meant.

"Bakit naman?"

He then look at me and smiled. "Because you remind me of this place," he said as he walks closer to me. "Peaceful..." he stopped just a few inches from me. "Calm..." he raise his hand to touch my face but stopped midway. "And beautiful."

I flustered. I felt my cheeks burning and I think the butterflies just went inside my tummy, tickling me. It took us a few seconds sa pagtitigan bago niya nilipat yung kamay niya sa ulo ko at ginulo ito.

"My cute tomato"

"T-Tomato?"

"You're blushing. Ang pula ng mukha mo, parang kamatis"

Pusit! Nakakahiya!

"Ano?! I'm not blushing! My cheeks were naturally pinkish," I defended myself.

"If you say so," he chuckled as he turned his back against me facing the garden. "Huwag mong kalimutan mamaya, hmm?" paalala niya sa laro niya.

"Yeah. Sure."

"That's great!" Hinarap niya ako. "You can sit in our bench!"

I'm not stupid. Alam ko na ang bench ay upuan ng mga players na naghihintay para makapaglaro sa court. I know because my dad loves basketball. I sometimes watch a game of basketball with him at home.

"Naku, okay lang ako. Sa bleachers nalang ako uupo," I waved my hands in front of him.

Nakakahiya namang umupo ako dun. Maraming manunuod at paniguradong magtataka sila kung bakit ako dun umupo. Ayokong maging center of attention. I've been the center of attention of my Dad my whole life at okay na ako dun.

"Pero hindi mo ako makikita mula dun," nguso niya. "Saka hindi din kita makikita. Paano ko malalaman na nanunuod ka pala?"

"I'm sure na makakakita ako mula dun," I explained. "And besides, I'll cheer for you."

"No, I insist. Dun ka na," pamimilit niya.

"I resist," I crossed my arms.

"Sige na, please. Ngayon lang? For me?" he pouted which I found it cute.

"Bakit?"

"Para makita kita. For good luck"

"Wow. Goodluck? Ako?"

If there's anything that I can be in this world, I wouldn't be a good luck. I am a walking disaster. A disaster that's not waiting to happen to others, but a disaster that's waiting to happen to me. If I'm not being careful, I could be dead by now.

"Yup. Para ganahan akong maglaro," ngiti niya.

I tried to hide my smile. I can't show him that I'm very much happy about what he said. If possible, pilit kong tinatago yung kilig na nararamdaman ko. Ang mga salita na lumalabas sa bibig niya ay humahaplos sa puso ko na nakakapalambot ng mga tuhod ko. Why do I think that I am special for him? Is this normal?

This is another episode of me giving meaning to everything he say. Assuming that I am somewhat special to him. I tried to ignore that thought but I can't. He did made me feel special today. I don't know why but I'm loving it. He's giving me high hopes and from now, I'm not gonna think of how I'm going to crumble.

"You're turning red," kunot-noo niyang sabi sa akin.

Kumunot din yung noo lo pilit inintindi yung sinabi niya. "Huh?"

"You're turning red!" sabi niya pa. Tinaas niya yung kamay niya at nilagay ka noo ko. "You're hot like hell! Pasok na tayo sa loob." Kinaladkad niya ako pababa galing sa rooftop saka niya ako hinarap. "Why are you burning hot? Bakit namumula ka?" he asked with worry.

Namumula? Mainit?

Oh s**t!

Hindi pala ako pwedeng bumabad sa ilalim ng araw nang sobrang tagal. I can't feel extreme heat! I was too immersed to the feeling that I forgot everything about my condition! Damn Danielle! Get yourself together!

"Hindi mo naman kasi naitanong," palusot ko.

I can't tell him about my condition. Baka lalayuan niya ako matapos niyang malaman yung sakit ko. And I can't afford that, especially we've grown really comfortable with each other.

"How would I know na naiinitan ka na pala? Hindi mo ba nararamdaman ang init?" tanong niya habang pinapaypayan ako gamit yung panyo niya.

My body is used being inside a room with an air conditioner. Humid place like this is new to me siguro kaya ganun nalang magreact yung body ko. Hindi man naiinitan si Stan pero para sa katawan ko sobrang init na ito.

Nakatingin lang ako sa mga mata niya habang abala siya sa pagpaypay sa akin. If other people would see us in this position, they would thought that we are a couple. Surprisingly, Stanley is very thoughtful and I fear that my feelings for him would grow. I'm afraid that we might not feel the same way. Talo ako.

"Babe?"

Napahinto si Stanley sa pagpaypay sa akin at napunta yung tingin niya sa likuran ko. Alam ko kung sino ang may ari ng boses na iyon, and I'm not mistaken.

"Bianca?"

I froze. I turned around and saw how furious Bee is. Nakayukom yung kamao niya at nalilisik yung mga mata niyang nakatingin sa amin— sa akin.

I'm not that naive to not know what kind of look she's giving me. Pabalik-balik yung tingin niya sa akin saka kay Stanley. She's looking at the handkerchief on Stanley's hand and to my face. Am I in trouble?

This is the part when I say, "It's not what you think."