Faded Hope

Lost in Thought

JACOB POV

    I snuck onto the axel farm, seeing Jeremy in town picking up stuff for a campout like he always does the night they have one. I tried to get here before he got home, and I did, but Alexxia was in the house. I figured her parents wouldn't let me talk to her after what happened here last time, So I waited just inside the edge of the woods where I wouldn't be seen.

    Jeremy came home before Lex came out. I looked at the ground knowing I would have to wait until I could catch her alone, but I didn't leave. I watched and waited for a chance. When the others show up my chances are slim, but I still keep waiting to try. Then I hear the bike, I duck down into the brush. When Daemien goes by me about eight feet away I'm holding my breath. If he sees me, he'll either kill me or rat me out, I think. 

    I peeked over to see where everyone was. Got back to my original position quietly and watching for an opening. They are playing frisbee. I get angry at Lex for running to make sure Daemien is ok when he got hit by it. I watch her grab his hand and heard her yell to the others that they needed to talk. I saw red when I watched them head to the house together.

    I think I better leave, but I can't get my feet moving. I wanna see how long they are in there. When it starts to get dark, I finally give up as I know I have to walk through the woods to leave without getting seen, and I can't do that in pitch-black darkness. I pick my way through the woods to a point where I won't be seen or heard, then start hitting the tree beside me to let out my anger. When my knuckles start to hurt I turn back toward home and leave. 

    Now I let myself get lost in thoughts. After getting cleaned up, I'm laying in my bed coming up with a plan. I know Lex leaves tomorrow, I should go to the tournament. I could catch her there. And with that thought, I start to prepare.

ALEXXIA POV

    "I'm not worthy of your love Lex. No matter how much I want to be. After what I did I'm surprised you even talk to me at all, so I consider myself extremely lucky just to be friends again." Daemien told me, smiled, and grabbed my hand pulling me out of the house.

    Now I am sitting in front of the fire now, just staring into it. I'm not even hearing anything or anyone around me because I am lost in my thoughts. It confused me to no end what Daemien meant when he told me what he had. I wanted him to clarify what he meant, but he didn't give me time to even do that. Like he is afraid to be alone with me, but why? What is he afraid of? I need to figure that out before I can make up my mind whether to trust him or not. I am so lost in thought I don't realize when Danielle and Jazmin sit on each side of me.

    "LEX!" Dani shouts. I jump as it pulls me back to the present. "Damn girl, what you thinking about so hard?"

    "Nothing important." I reply.

    "But what were you thinking about?" Jazmin pipes up.

    "Just about my trip tomorrow." I lie, not wanting them to make me tell the whole conundrum I'm having.

    "OH, yeah. Where you headed this time?" Jaz asks.

    "I am headed to Cali this trip. If I win I get to go back to the world championships." I relay back.

    "God, I wish I could travel like you do." Jaz breathed out.

    "It gets old fast." I state. "Especially if you're jumping from one place to another week after week with no home time."

    Dani laughs and tells me, "Yeah, But you love it anyway."

    I grin answering, "Not so much anymore. I just want to win the world championship before I retire for good."

    Dani and Jaz both look at me like I am crazy, but I have been doing this for three years now and I am getting bored with the flights and hotels. It gets lonely on the road, and I miss my family and friends, sure we talk on video chat but it's not the same. It's just time to put down roots, I think. I wanna be able to tell them how I feel, but I know they won't understand it. They wouldn't as they have never left town, only saying they have dreamed of doing so. "So early, Why Lex? When you're so good at it. You could be top in the world for years yet." Dani screeches at me.

    "It's hard to explain Dani," I told her. Then an idea hit me. "Actually girls is there any way you could take a week off work? I would like to take you all with me this time if it is."

    Danielle and Jaz excitedly started making phone calls to their bosses, at home, to ask for time off. Lex headed over to the guys to ask them also. She hoped they would want to go. "I would love to but I can't Lex. I can't afford to take that trip. The plane tickets alone would be too much for me to pay right now, let alone hotels and food." Darius told me.

    "I didn't ask you to pay for any of it." I excitedly said, "I ask you to go with me. I have a private plane for these trips and there is more than enough room for everyone. And I have a suite at the hotel. That means three bedrooms, so it won't be much different than camping here, just with more luxury. All the food gets paid for by my sponsor too." I was starting to see how it could all come together. I was finally not going to be lonely on my trip.