My Lust Love

Chapter 3

I was combing my hair in front of the mirror. Another day without plans; great.

I stood in front of the door when someone knocked. I didn't asked for a service, who the hell was knocking. Nasundan na kaya 'ko ni Joma rito? No way.

My heart jumped when I saw Alexis' hella serious face. My mouth stiffed for a second. He was the last person I expected to knock on my door.

"Thank you." Inabot niya sa 'kin 'yong nakatuping towel.

"Ah right, you're welcome." Kinuha ko 'to at tinignan siya ulit. I waited for him to go away but he didn't. Hindi siya umalis sa kinatatayuan niya.

I bit my lower lip. "D-do you." I couldn't hide the uncertainty on my voice. "Do you need something?"

"Yes," he said. I started to get conscious when he didn't remove his eyes on me. May panis na laway pa kaya ako? I showered already.

Tinitigan ko lang din siya. I waited for what he was gonna say next pero wala siyang sinabi. Damn! Why couldn't he say what he need straight to the point.

"W-what?" I was seriously more conscious now. I hated it. I always tried to act as confident as I could with anyone, but this man was giving me deep consciousness.

"My towel."

I couldn't help but to grinned. "Right!" Damn Karmina! "Oh my gosh I'm sorry, I lost my mind." I laughed trying to hide the awkwardness that I felt. Kinabahan pa 'ko sa sasabihin niya, twalya niya lang pala hinihintay niya. What am I even thinking?

Tumango lang siya. Suplado pa rin.

"Wait." I turned my back on him, before I could walk, I faced him again. "Pasok ka pala muna." It was rude to made him wait outside.

"Okay lang." He didn't enter, but he explored his sight inside my room.

Hindi ako natinag sa pagtayo. I glared at him. "I insist."

He rolled his eyes. I stopped myself from laughing. Mukha siyang pandang umirap; ang laki kasi ng eyebags.

"Fine." He stepped inside and closed the door. I smiled and continued walking towards my comfort room. 

Sumilip ako mula sa pinto ng c.r; nakatulala lang siya sa hangin. I bit my lower lip before stepping outside.

"Ah... A-Alexis.. ano kasi hindi pa siya gaanong tuyo. Hindi ko siya nabilad kaninang umaga. I forgot."

He looked at me with his stoic face. "Sige." He stood up and walked towards the door.

"Ah... wait." Medyo lumapit ako sa kanya.

Tumingin siya sa 'kin nang wala pa ring emosyon. Maski kumunot lang 'yong noo ay hindi talaga.

"Can you smile?" I was really bothered with him being so serious.

Finally he had an emotion showed on his face. Nagsalubong ang makapal niyang kilay. "Why would I?"

My laugh came out sardonically. "Palagi ka kasing nakasimangot. Maaga raw tatanda kapag palaging nakasimangot." I tried to make my statement as humurous as I could, but he still didn't laughed. Ang hirap naman nitong patawanin.

"I don't have reasons to smile." He turned his back on me.

I ran towards him and held the doorknob. Saktong nagkapatong 'yong kamay namin. Parang nakuryente 'yong buong katawan ko at gumapang ito hanggang sa puso ko.

We looked at each other for a second. Parang bigla akong napaso sa kakaibang init na dumaloy sa kamay niya. I removed my hand from the door knob. Masyado ata akong nagulat sa nangyari, my heart wasn't beating on its normal beat.

"Later night at the pool area, I'll wait for you there." I tried to act as if I was still comfortable.

"Why?" His face was back to its normal cold expression.

I smirked. "I owe you a drink, remember?"

He didn't say anything. He didn't even nodded. Binuksan niya na lang 'yong pinto at lumabas na siya.

"I'll take that as a yes," I shouted while watching him walked away.

I couldn't believe that guy, parang ngayon lang ako nakakilala ng tulad niyang sobrang bihira ngumiti or maybe that's just how he handled his sadness. 

I was walking at the shore. Naiinip na 'ko at gusto ko ng gumabi ulit. I didn't know, something in the night excites me.

I stopped when I saw Wendy putting lotion on her legs. She was sitting on a sand chair. I ran towards her.

"Hi Wendy." Makipagkwentuhan na lang ako para malibang at hindi mainip.

She looked up and smiled. She really had a sweet and genuine smile. Na-miss ko bigla 'yong long hair ko dahil sa long, curly, black hair niya.

"Hi Karmina, kamusta ka?"

Umupo ako sa tabi niya. "I'm fine. Mag-isa ka ata?" Paulo was missing in action. Eh sa tuwing nakikita ko siya palaging nakabuntot sa kanya si Paulo. Nag-L.Q kaya sila?

"Ah magkasama si Paulo tsaka Alexis ngayon. Iniwan ko na muna sila para magkaroon sila ng boy's talk." Wendy laughed. Tinuloy niya na 'yong pagpapahid ng lotion sa binti niya.

"Boy's talk, babae lang pag-uusapan niyon." My eyes widened when my thoughts came out loud. "Kidding," habol ko.

She chuckled. "Pano mo naman nasabi?" She looked so confident that my accusation was wrong.

I shrugged. "Boys will be boys."

Inabot niya sa 'kin 'yong lotion pero umiling lang ako. I already put sunscreen before going out.

"They were men," she firmly said.

Napatitig ako sa kanya. How was she so confident about them? Had she experienced having trust issues?

Tumango na lang ako at tumingin sa kawalan. I wouldn't argue with his statement besides I didn't really knew Alexis and Paulo to judge them.

"Naranasan mo na bang maloko?" I looked at the sand when I felt a sudden pinch on my heart.

She sighed. "Oo naman. Isang beses nahuli ko 'yang si Paulo, she was talking with a girl online; nakilala niya sa bumble."

I covered my mouth; I really have this habit of laughing during serious moments.

"On a dating app?" I couldn't stop myself from grinning.

"Oo, diba? Nakakainis. I mean bakit pa siya mag i-install ng dating app, eh may girlfriend na siya. Anyway it was from the past, so let's forget it." Iyong mahinhin niyang boses naging inis panandalian. I chuckled. Ang cute niya lang magsalita.

"Did they meet?" I was getting more curious. Kaunti na lang maco-convince na 'ko na halos lahat talaga ng lalake may lahing manloloko.

Umiling siya. "Nope. One day pa nga lang silang nag-uusap nahuli ko na siya. Tsaka hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko if I caught them together. Buti na lang hindi. Paulo admitted his mistake and he was so sorry about it. Kaya pinatawad ko siya. Isang beses pa lang naman eh. Once na inulit niya, wala na talaga. Sira na talaga 'yong six years naming pagsasama. Enough na 'yong isang chance."

My eyes widened. "Six years na kayo?" Grabe ang tagal na pala nila. Mukhang going strong pa nga. I wonder what was their secret.

Natawa siya sa reaksyon ko. "Yep. Nagkakilala kami online lang din. Diba? I didn't even expected na may true love pala sa online."

My mouth dropped with amusement. "Seriously? I'm going to install that once I went back to Manila."

I always saw my friends using dating apps pero hindi ko lang sila pinapansin. I was so faithful to Joma tapos lolokohin niya lang pala ako.

"Oo nga. You should try it."

Tumango ako. I will.

"Love!" Paulo was running towards us. My heart smiled when he was with Alexis who was just walking with his usual bored face. Natatawa talaga 'ko 'pag nakikita siya; para siyang pinagbagsakan ng langit at lupa.

Hingal na hingal si Paulo nang makalapit siya sa 'min. "Oh hi Karmina," he said nang mapansin ako.

I just smiled and nodded. I looked at Alexis who was just looking at Wendy. I pouted. Hindi man lang talaga ko pinansin. Suplado.

"Hi Alexis." My voice sounded like a teased.

He glanced at me and nodded. I rolled my eyes. Akala ko pa naman okay na kami. May payakap-yakap pa siya kagabi. Echosera talaga.

Paulo laughed. Hinampas niya si Alexis. "Ang suplado mo pre; 'di bagay."

Alexis just glared at him. It looked like they were talking through their eyes. Paulo stopped laughing, he chuckled one last time before looking to Wendy.

"Tara love merienda tayo."

Wendy stood and grabbed my hand. "Come on Karmina. Join us."

"Ayos lang ba sa kanila?" I looked at Paulo and locked my eyes at Alexis who was just looking at the sea.

"Ayos lang sa 'kin." Paulo pushed Alexis na malayo pa rin ang tingin. "Uy bro ayos lang daw ba sa 'yo."

Alexis glanced at me. Mukha nanaman siyang pasong-paso sa hitsura ko. Hindi naman ako nakabikini. I was just wearing a plain wrapped around dress.

"Sige lang," Alexis said without showing any emotions.

I still smiled. At least okay sa kanila. I think I just found a friend here. Medyo malilibang na ako kahit papaano. 

My mouth dropped when I saw a large field. Oh right! I saw this on their website. Bakit nga ba hindi ko naisip tignan ang picnic ground nila. May ilang mga tents na layo-layo sa isa't isa. The place was so relaxing considering the ambiance of green and blue; green grasses and blue tents. Idagdag mo pa ang simoy ng malamig na hangin; perfection.

There were two group of people na magkalayo sa isa't isa at may kanya-kanyang pagkain. The laughter on their face were so genuine. I wish I could have that laugh again.

"Dito tayo." Umupo si Paulo sa bakanteng banig. Sa likod niyon ay maliit na tent.

Tumabi naman sa kanya si Wendy na hindi nangawit sa pagngiti.

I sat down in front of Wendy. I slightly smiled when Alexis sat beside me. He was in front of Paulo.

"Pinag-uusapan pa lang natin 'to kahapon love ah." Wendy pinched Paulo. Namula na 'yong pisnge niya kakangiti.

"Well wish granted love." Paulo kissed her on the cheeks.

I couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes. Gladly they didn't saw me. So cheesy. Parang si Joma lang na akala ko pagkabait-bait, nasa loob pala 'yong kulo.

Tumikhim si Alexis at saka tumayo. "I'll get the food."

"Tulungan na kita." I stood up and followed him towards the tent.

He came inside and so I did. Medyo malaki pala 'yong loob. Kasya siguro ang apat na tao.

"Get that basket."

I looked back to him. "What--" I stopped nang mauntog ako sa noo niya. Damn! Buti hindi gaanong malakas. Why was he so close to me? I didn't know.

Natulala pa 'ko sa mukha niya. He was really closed; I could feel his warm breath and it smell like a menthol.

I could feel my heart pumping louder. My eyes went down to his pinkish lips and I was sure as hell the it taste edible. Hindi na ako makahinga nang maayos. I felt him getting closer to mine. He looked down at my lips. My body felt hot when he bit his lower lip. I felt a tingling sensation down there. He closed his eyes. I didn't know what possessed me to close mine as well.

"Bro anong nangyari-- oh sorry."

Our lips were about to met when Paulo's voice startled us. Alexis jumped away from me and look in the other direction.

I pretended to looked for the basket, Alexis was talking about. I smiled when I saw it. "Got it," I said.

Mabilis akong lumabas sa tent. I grinned at Paulo na parang walang nangyari. I didn't want to act awkward. It wasn't even awkward. Medyo lang. Nilagpasan ko si Paulo and leave them both.

"I'm back." Masiglang bungad ko kay Wendy. Umupo ako sa harap niya at nilapag 'yong basket.

"Bakit ang tagal ninyo ata?"

I hoped she wouldn't see the awkwardness on my smile. "Ah ano kasi... nahirapan kaming hanapin 'tong basket." I laughed sardonically.

"Ha? Eh ang liit lang naman ng tent?" Parang pasimple niya akong inuusisa. I knew what she was thinking. Kahit naman ako kapag matagal sila ni Paulo may maiisip din akong kakaiba.

I still faked a laugh. "Kaya nga eh. Ewan ko ba. Malabo ata mata namin ni Alexis. Tara ayusin na natin 'to." I held the basket and looked at what was inside. Para lang maiba na 'yong topic.

Wendy chuckled. I heard the disbelief in her laugh. "Sige ayusin na natin," she said nang nakangisi. 

"Pahangin lang ako." Alexis stood up after we finished eating.

"Pahangin ka nanaman bro? Baka mapuno na hangin 'yang utak mo." Paulo joked.

I grinned. Napigilan ko 'yong pagtawa ko nang tignan ako nang masama ni Alexis. I gave him a peace sign and chuckled while looking at the grass.

Alexis didn't mind what Paulo said. Umalis pa rin siya. I understand why he acted like that. Sometimes I also wanted to be alone lalo na kapag sobrang nilalamon na 'ko ng lungkot.

"Alam mo Karmina, bagay kayo."

I looked at Paulo. My brows crossed. Wendy nodded.

"Ni Alexis?" I was just making sure. Bakit naman niya kasi maiisip na bayay kami.

"Oo, diba love?" Mahina niyan siniko si Wendy.

"Oo nga. Mas bagay ka sa kanya kaysa kay Ruby; ubod ng sungit."

So Ruby was the name of his ex. Naging interesado nanaman tuloy ako sa istorya ng relationship nila.

I chuckled. "You mean to say... masungit si Ruby? Teka paano nagkasundo ang parehong masungit? Posible pala 'yon?" Anyway Joma and I were both fun. Nasobrahan lang si Joma, pati puso ko ginawang biro.

"Hindi naman talaga masungit 'yang si Alexis. Ngayon lang 'yan naging ganyan, pero pakiramdam ko babalik din naman kalokohan niyan. Nasa state pa kasi ng pag-mo-move on."

Tumango ako. Iba-iba talaga ang mga tao kung mag-handle ng lungkot. My way was to laugh tapos kapag mag-isa na 'ko saka na lang ako iiyak.

"I'm just curious, bakit ba sila nag-break?" Pinatong ko 'yong siko ko sa binti ko at nagpangalumbaba. "May nagloko ba sa kanila?" I was curious kung manloloko rin ba si Alexis.

"Wala namang nagloko. Nasakal lang si Alexis kay Ruby. Grabe kasi 'yon kung magbawal. Kahit kami ayaw niyang kasama namin si Alexis sa mga hang outs."

"Really? Bakit naman? Baka bad influence kayo." I tried to add humor on our serious talk. Mabuti at tumawa sila.

"Hindi naman Karmina, medyo lang." Wendy pinched the arms of Paulo.

"Anong medyo? Napakabait naming magtotropa. Alam mo 'yan Wendy." Ginulo ni Paulo 'yong buhok ni Wendy.

Here they were again, being so cheesy in front of me. Respeto naman guys.

"Of course. Nagbibiro lang ako." Wendy kissed Paulo's cheeks.

I took a deep breath. Relax self, they were just having fun.

"Ayon nga, hindi kami bad influence. Sobra lang talaga kung maghigpit 'yong si Ruby." Paulo defended his friends.

I nodded. They looked nice naman. I wasn't sure sa iba nilang tropa.

"May iba pa pala kayong friends? Bakit 'di ninyo kasama?"

"They were busy. Iyong iba kasi focus na talaga sa work. Alam mo 'yon. Adults na tayo. Nagbakasyon lang kami ni Wendy para ipahinga sarili namin. Business owner kasi 'tong si Wendy kaya may mga tauhan naman siya."

Wendy nodded.

"I see. Ayos ah, what's your business?"

"Clothing, bili ka minsan." Wendy giggled.

"Sure. I just wish we still have connection after this vacation."

Paulo suddenly laughed. "Syempre. Nararamdaman kong bago kami umalis dito, may something na sa inyo ni Alexis, so definitely magkikita pa rin tayo."

Natawa naman ako sa sinabi ni Paulo. How could he be so sure. I highly dount it. I still have problems to fixed specially my heart.

"Baliw kayo! Alexis and I aren't even friends. Kita ninyo naman paano niya 'ko kausapin akala mo diring-diri sa 'kin. So much hate to him." I laughed and sipped sa natitira kong juice.

"Tignan natin." Paulo laughed sardonically.

Umiling-iling na lang ako. I wasn't even hoping. Baka maloko lang ulit ako. Friends pwede pa, I would like him to be my friend, pero more than that? No way. 

I took a shower. Another day have ended. I looked at the wall clock. A sudden smile formed on my lips. It was twelve a.m.

I wore my lilac lounge wear set; a cropped shirt and a shorts. I wanted to feel comfortable and the clothes was so comfy.

I walked outside and went straight at the pool area. Bumagsak 'yong balikat ko when I saw nothing. Walang katao-tao pero may mga bukas pang bilihan.

I removed my slippers at binabad na lang 'yong paa ko sa pool. Why would I hope that he was gonna come? Of course he wouldn't. Ang arte talaga; libre na nga, ayaw pa.

My eyes widened when someone handed me a can of Sanmig. I looked up and saw the emotionless face of Alexis. My heart hammered inside my chest. Umupo siya sa tabi ko without looking at me. Nakatingin lang siya sa kawalan at may hawak pang isang Sanmig.

"My treat," he whispered.