I was allowed to lock myself in my rooms for two days before dad barged in at six in the morning. We all needed a time-out from each other after that last blowout. Seeing them fight and talk like that to each other because of me had me all messed up. They never argued or raised their voices at each other, at least never in front of us. Knowing I’m the cause of it happening broke me if that is even possible depending on how broken I already am.
“Get up and get ready, we leave in thirty minutes.”
“Ok”
I was ready within twenty minutes. Heading downstairs I see my parents hugged up and laughing. Glad to see they have made up. I doubt I'd make it without another blowout if they were still going at it due to me and my issues.
“Good morning”
“Morning baby, would you like some coffee to go?”
“No thanks ma. Dad, I’m ready when you are. I’ll be outside. Bye ma”
Sitting on the stairs I wait for him to come out. I wished I had my phone; hell, I wish I had a drink more than anything else. Shaking off the thought I got up and walked towards the nearest and dearest live oak tree and climbed high enough to see over the gate. Thinking about how I used to live up here growing up. This was my third home, my favorite place to hide and escape. They had to literally climb up and take me down. That is until I got too old, and the job was passed down to dad and his threats.
Smiling at the memory, I sat there and waited till dad came out. I knew what was coming before he even opened his mouth. In the dark or even blind, I can always recognize my parent's and Care's movements, reactions, and damn near everything else. I have therapy and there needs to be the center of my existence to thank and resent for that.
“Get your as. down here before you break another bone.”
Yup, there it was. Slowly climbing down, I still slipped. Landing where I always tend to, right in dad’s arm. After that one slip and broken bone when I was sixteen, he always manages to be there before I could fall and break anything else. To this day he never lets me forget it, without him I'll always fall and break.
“You’re too old and big for these charades. One day, I’m going to let your as. drop.”
“Never”
“You’re right and annoying. Now let’s get going.”
The drive was quiet. Leaning my head against the window, my mind wanders to where he has been for the past two and a half weeks. His eyes. I only saw them once and I couldn't get them out of my head. I had no business thinking about him, yet I couldn't stop doing so. Plus this mysterious man I am now supposed to be married to who hasn't shown his face once since those pictures were taken or before. Still have no idea who either is and it was best if I didn't know, hopefully, I'll never will.
I haven’t been back to the shelter so can’t see those eyes and other than the same headlines and photos I’ve seen can’t find out who my so-called supposed-to-be husband is either. I’m hoping this whole thing was some cruel joke, a big misunderstanding. That hope was short-lived.
Dad pulled up by the familiar clearing, that leads to the lake that eventually connects to a spring. It’s a forty-five-minute walk from the house. I called it my paradise when I found myself running away one night when I was ten. Couldn’t tell you why I did it, but I ended up here, and here is where dad found me. It wouldn’t be the last. First time getting bullied, first fight, the first argument, first breakup, I found myself at this lake, and repeatedly dad found me.
“Dad, we could have walked.”
“With the temperature dropping, I figured it’ll be better for you. Plus, you have a shift at the shelter today at ten.”
Typical Collin Smith. Never be too emotional. Show just enough compassion and through in a curveball, just so no one doesn’t assume he’s too soft. I laughed out loud without meaning to.
“Mind sharing what the hell you find so funny”
“Nothing dad, I just love you. And I want to apologize for the other day, I was out of line. I never meant to talk to you and mom like that.”
“We get it. Things haven’t been easy for you, and we can’t imagine what you’ve been or going through but we’re trying. We can see the changes in you these past three months and can’t tell you how proud we are of you. Kay, you’ve never been, nor could you ever be a disappointment. Can’t lie and say that some of the sh.t you do aren't but never you as a person/ Definitely not as our daughter. But speak to your mother and me like that again, and I will finally give you that as. whipping I’ve been promising.”
Laughing we hugged it out and headed towards the lake. I know we had more to talk about, but I was glad we got past that hurdle cause I know there’s more to come. Walking down memory lane with dad reminds me just how close we used to be. Even though I’m close to both, some situations always felt better with him around and his brute ways of dealing with them. Unlike mom, he didn't cuddle me or sugarcoat anything trying to spare me from reality. He was brutally honest to a fault and I respected that and relied on it.
“So, what’s the verdict?”
“Well, I received a call back from SandDust and spoke with Sandra. From what she and her team could find out is that you and that Snyder boy checked in Wednesday night, exactly five days after you disappeared.”
“Can they provide you with the video?”
“Already received it”
“And?”
“You were coherent enough. There’s no visual indication that you were messed up, just slightly tipsy. And that’s saying a lot for you.”
Snorting at his response but he was right. I don't get tipsy, at least not enough for others to see. The only time it's visible is when I overdo it and drink till I pass out. Every substance was the same. I've had a high tolerance since I was a kid, being over-medicated after spinal surgery will do that to you.
I tend to stay to myself but if I had to be around others, they only saw me as calm and aloof or mean and annoyed. Only my parents and Care knew the difference. So if dad says I was coherent enough but show a sign of balance, that means I was completely out of it and holding on for dear life. My mind was already shut down, yet my body was fully up and running. Meaning the mix I was given made it impossible for me to pass out but remain awake.
That's some scary sh.t. Someone purposely poisoned me, so I could be taken advantage of while I watched and feel everything. I'm guessing they didn't know me well enough to know that it'll never work. Once the doctors stopped poisoning me, I started poisoning myself and only recently stopped. What they did should have killed me or left me scared once or if I recovered but I couldn't remember and sure hell felt a thing. I came out just like how I went in, so what the hell happened in between then?
“Ok, fair enough. Am I really married, and if so, can I fight it”?
“Yes, your marriage license has not only been found but also has been published in every media outlet you can name. Even with the medical record we got when you came home, we can’t pinpoint exactly if you were poisoned again before nor after the marriage.”
“So, how do I go about fighting it?”
“That’s the thing, as of right now we cant. Not only did you get married but my sources found out there was also a contractual prenup.”
You have to be kidding me. I don’t even know this man. Plus, I wasn't myself, so that should at least count for something. Ugh, If anyone would be stuck into some sh.t like this, it’ll be me. How is it that I always end up in these unfortunate situations?
“Hey, snap out of it. I’m trying to do everything I can to help you out of this. I know it’s not your fault, even though you have a knack for getting into sh.t. I’ve arranged a meeting with that Snyder kid to see if we can come to an understanding.”
He didn't sound too sure about that statement. I wasn't either but a girl can hope. After all, it's not like the guy knows me or anything. If I was that out of it, I doubt that I was the best company. We didn't sleep together because not only did the doctor confirm it but I'm well aware of myself and my body no matter what I was given or have taken, that knowledge never changes. So, there was no purpose in keeping me around, or at least that's what I'm telling myself.