Breaking Her Rule (Jonas Lei & Kaitie Carina Story)

Chapter 4

"I'm sorry, Doc. Ano po?" I feel like my heart is deteriorating. Hindi ko maintindihan 'yong mga huli niyang sinabi. I zoned out after she said that it wasn't just mere dysmenorrhea.

"Endometriosis." she repeated. "It's a common condition in women." then she pulled a picture of what looks like a picture of the uterus. "The tissues that lines the uterus is called the endometrium. When a woman develops endometriosis, microscopic bits of that tissue escapes the uterus and grows on other organs like the ovaries, outer wall of the uterus, the fallopian tubes and many more. The escaped tissues respond to hormones, estrogen and progesterone, by thickening and may bleed every month. Pero dahil nabubuo siya sa labas ng uterus natin, 'yong dugo na namuo, hindi nailalabas ng katawan. That causes irritation, which results to cysts and scars."

I swallowed the big lump on my throat. I'm not dumb but I didn't understand any words she said. I was looking at her, but I absorbed nothing from her.

"B-bakit ako may ganito, Doc?" I whispered, the knot in my stomach getting bigger and I feel like I might puke.

Sumimangot siya sabay lapag ng hawak niyang laminated na papel. She rested her forearms on her table and fused her hands together.

"Up until now, the main cause of the disease is unknown."

I nodded my head. I don't want to ask any more questions because I feel like my condition is getting worse and worse. "A-anong susunod kong gagawin?"

"Do you have a partner or a husband?" she asked rather.

"I have a boyfriend." A boyfriend who doesn't want to give me kids unless he gets me tied down to him.

She nodded her head. "Are you planning on getting pregnant? Mas maganda habang bata ka pa."

My heart suddenly thumped hard against my chest. "B-bakit, Doc? Is there a chance I won't get pregnant?"

I know she saw the panic in my eyes and how rigid my body became, "Yes. The implants may eventually bond the reproductive organs together and this may cause infertility. Kaya if you and your partner are planning to procreate, then we must start with your treatments. Do you feel severe pain during intercourse?"

I shake my head. "My boyfriend and I haven't done it. He's very strict with his morals and doesn't approve pre-marital sex."

The doctor gave me a tight smile. "I see. Marami pala tayong dapat ikonsidera pero--".

"It doesn't matter what he thinks, Doc. This is my body. We'll do whatever we need to do. I don't want to lose my chance of getting pregnant."

Because that's all I ever want.

A kid.

Maybe two or three, and if it's not too much, four of them.

My mind wandered off a scene. Me chasing two little kids, a boy and a girl. I heard their squeals while they try to go as far away from me as possible with their little feet. But when I finally caught one of them, I was shocked to see the boy who likes a little human copy of Jonas Lei Angcaya.

I woke up gasping for air. I was sweating profusely, while my heart racing like an athlete. I looked around and finally relaxed when I realized I am in my room.

I again burried myself in my pillows and in the warmth of my blanket only to bolt upright when I remembered how my night ended.

Paano ako nakauwi?

Madali akong lumabas sa kuwarto ko at kamuntikan pang mabangga si Nanay pagkababa ko nang hagdan.

"Woah. Kaitie Carina, kitten. What's wrong and you're running like the bats of hell are chasing you?"

I ignored her comment. "Nay, paano ako nakauwi?"

She smiled at me, before sipping her coffee. "A nice gentleman brought you home, kitten. Si Jonas. Sinukaan mo pa nga raw siya bago ka nahimatay. I think it's because you drank too much wine, you know you're never a drinker."

I groaned and rested my back on the wall. My mother immediately saw through my reaction.

"It didn't end well with, Inigo?"

I looked at her and nodded, "Gusto niya akong pakasalan, Nay." Saka ko naalala 'yong singsing na iniwan niya sa'kin kagabi. I can't even bring myself to open the goddamn box.

Lumamya ang mata ni Nanay saka naupos sa pinakahuling hakbang ng hagdan. Muli siyang uminom sa kapeng hawak saka ako tiningala, "Kitten, what happened to me and your Papa is not going to happen to you. What you witness to your Tita's, too." Her voiced was strained and silent. I know she burried long time ago that ugly past, but seeing her after the new discovery we just found out I can still see the slightly gloomy in her eyes. Really, life is full of surprises. One day your happy the next day you're blue. But no matter how the circumstances may be, life must go on. It should be face with a brave heart.

That's make me love and admire her more. It's not because she's my mother, but how genuine and pure her heart to forgive countless times, even though she's silently breaking apart.

Her words on that night, will be forever remains firmly in my memory. 'Ang pagpapatawad ay hindi lang simpleng pagpapatawad na sasabihin mo ay tapos na. Pagpapatawad- upang makalaya ka sa pait ng kahapon, para maipagpatuloy ang kasalukuyan at makapaghanda sa darating na hinaharap. Pagpapatawad ay simbolo ng pagpaparaya mo sa kalungkutang hatid sayo ng nakaraan, pagpaparaya mo upang makamit ang kasiyahang nararapat na mapa saiyo.'

She is really the epitome of a woman with a strong heart that ensures happiness for us first before hers. She is willing to carry all the burdens of the world in exchange for a smile from the one she loves. A kind of a mother who, despite of being broken inside, is much more stronger outside, because giving up is not on her vocabulary and she's willing to risk everything just to turn every black into white.

"You don't know that, Nay "

"Kaitie, kitten. . . hindi ba mas maganda na mapapalaki mo ang magiging anak mo na may tatay?"

Umiling ako. "Napalaki mo naman si Kuya dati, Nay. Naibigay mo naman sa kanila ni Ate Keanna ang mga pangangailangan nila noon. Hindi ko kailangan ng asawa, ang kailangan ko lang ay taong mabibigyan ako ng anak. Pagkatapos no'n, kahit umalis siya wala na akong pakialam."

"Isn't that unfair to your future children? Depriving them their rights to know their father?"

But I'm not gonna bend, nor change my mind. "No, Nay. Soon they will realize that I'm saving them from a heartache unimaginable. That I chose this path because I'm protecting them from a loss not easily overcome."

We were both quiet until Kuya Kenn sprinted downstairs holding my phone. "Woah. You both look like somebody just died." he kid before handing me my phone. "Si bunso. Kanina pa tawag ng tawag." saka siya ulit umakyat sa kwarto niya.

"Sabay ka ba kina Nanay pa-Boracay?" pahabol na tanong ko. Mahuhuli kasi sila ni Papa dahil may mga prior commitments sila pareho. Rinig ko pa rin ang 'hindi' lang na sigaw niyang sagot.

Again, my phone rang and displayed my Lil sis's name.

"Hello, lil sis?" I answered, excusing myself from Nanay and walking to the kitchen to brew me some coffee.

"Ate! Salamat at ikaw na ang sumagot. Kabanas si Kuya. May lipad raw siya sa mismong araw ng kasal ko."

Kahit di ko nakikita si Kiara, nakasamingot na 'to. Pwede ba naman 'yon na wala si Kuya Kenn sa kasal niya, di mabugahan siya ng apoy ni Tigress.

"Nagpapaniwala ka sa kanya. Huwag kang ma-stress diyan. Sige ka, papangit ka sa big day mo. Maging alipin ka na lang ni Princess Diana sa itsura mo." saka ako humalakhak pero malinaw sa pandinig ko na sinagot niya akong 'buwisit ka.'

"Tumawag pala ako ate kasi 'tong si Jazz parang kiti-kiti."

"Ano bang nangyari? Excited much lang iyang asawa mo eh. Ang sarap ding kutusan." I joke while pouring milk in milk frothing jar.

"Nandito na kasi kami sa Boracay, kasama 'yong ibang mga guest. Pagkarating kasi namin kanina natulog ako dahil sa pagod, pero ngayong lunch time, saka lang namin napansin ni Jazz na nawawala si Jonas." she was almost out of breath when she finished.

I closed my eyes. My heart racing for unknown reasons. Kailan ba matatapos ang parte ng buhay ko na sangkot ang lalakeng 'yon. Simula talaga nang hinalikan niya ako parang bawat galaw ko nandoon siya.

And I can't even understand myself. Naiinis ako sa kanya, pero may iba pa. I feel something different but can't seem to understand.

"Anong sabi ni Jazz?"

"He's so furious. Hindi kasi namin matawagan si Jonas. Unattended ang phone niya. We tried his secretary pero ang sabi wala raw siya sa opisina. Hindi rin daw siya bumisita sa mga branch ng pharma."

"Sige, ako bahala. Relax, okay? You're going to get married I'm sure of that."

I heard her sighing, finally letting go of some of her tensive nerves. "Thank you, Ate."

"No worries, lil sis. I'm doing this not because I'm you planner but because I'm your twin sister."

She was silent before I heard her sniffed. "You're making me cry, Ate." followed by her soft chuckle.

"Huwag kang umiyak, baka pagalitan na naman ako ni Jazz." suway ko.

"Okay. Thank you ulit, Ate."

We said our goodbyes and I dropped my phone on the table. Saan ko naman uumpisahang hanapin ang hambog na 'yon?

Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at napasalampak sa upuan. Inabot ko ang cellphone ko.

'Sir Jonas, this is Kaitie Carina Real. Tumawag kasi si Kiara sa'kin. Hindi ka raw sumabay sa kanila pa-Boracay? Kiara's been nothing but frightened that the other shoe any drop until she and your bestfriend gets wed. Marami na siyang iniisip, sana hindi mo na dadagdagan 'yon.'

Then I sent.

I didn't care if my message came out disrespectful. Someone need to tell him to get his sh!t straight, na hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon papairalin niya pagkapilyo niya.

I was already out of the house, but I still didn't receive any reply from that man. I tried calling him, but I eventually got connected straight to voicemail.

Whatever he's doing right now, it must be freaking important because I might kick him in the face for putting Kiara into this much of stress.

I stopped by my shop and instructed my staffs of the things they need to do since I will be out until next week for Kiara's wedding. Buti na nga lang, walang nasaging events na 'yong kasal kaya buong atensyon ko ang maibibigay ko roon.

Tinapos ko lahat ng mga pending kong trabaho saka ako nagmadaling nagpaalam. Kailangan ko na rin kasing mag-ayos ng gamit ko gayong mamayang gabi na ang flight ko pa-Boracay. Maghahanap pa ako ng nawawalang tao.

I was about to get inside my car when my phone chimed.

Jonas Lei Angcaya: You busy? I need your help with something.

How he had the audacity to text me as if he's not stirring problems to his bestfriend and my sister is beyond me.

'My service are not free. And the only thing you should be busy about is getting yourself to Boracay for you bestfriend's wedding.

Jonas Lei Angcaya: I'm a willing payee. Besides, if you're not gonna help me. I'm afraid, I will miss my flight.

Gago niya talaga. I cursed inwardly as I clutched my phone tight. This devil has innate wicked skills. And the more I evade him, the stronger he's pulling me towards him.