Twins are in Pain

CHAPTER 9: The Girls' Talk

SKYE

"Talaga bang babalik ka na sa Paris after the wedding?" tanong ko kay Ash.

Nasa kusina kaming dalawa, nagbe-bake ng French apple tart at blueberry violet eclairs. She was really into french desserts kaya naman nagpapaturo ako sa kanya ng ilan sa mga iyon. At bonding na rin namin bago siya bumalik ng Paris.

Maagang umalis si Uno. Ayaw ko na nga sana siyang paalisin dahil mamayang hapon na ang prenup photoshoot namin. But, he insisted to go. May importante raw kasi siyang aasikasuhin kasama si River.

I was hesitant at first, but I let him leave. I don't know, but today was different. Para bang ayoko siyang umalis. Na para bang iba ang nararamdaman ko sa pag-alis niya.

He made sure nothing to worry about by kissing me. The kiss was tender, passionate and full of love. He smiled and hugged me tightly before he left. The sweetest smile I've ever seen from his gorgeous face.

Medyo nakalma at nawala lang ang anxiety ko nang mangako siyang babalik din at susunduin ako sa mansion para sa photoshoot namin mamaya.

Kalahating oras pa lang ang nakakalipas nang umalis si Uno, dumating naman si Ash. I don't have anything to do, that's why I asked her to teach me some french desserts. And she gladly agreed.

"Oo." Ipinasok niya muna sa oven ang tart pan bago humarap sa 'kin. "I already stayed here in the country for more than a month now. Nakakahiya na kay Yuki kung mag-e-extend pa 'ko ng vacation."

Ang Yuki na tinutukoy ni Ash ay ang kaibigan at co-business owner niya sa Bon Deli Apetit. The guy was her college classmate back then.

"Isa pa, marami akong naiwang trabaho ro'n. The last time I called Yuki, he was busy running our restaurant alone." Napangiti siya na para bang may naalalang magandang bagay bago umiling-iling. "Malapit na niyang ma-terrorize ang mga staff namin doon. Dumoble raw kasi ang dami ng customers."

Ang eclairs naman ang hinarap namin. "So, when exactly are you leaving?" I asked, helping her piping the batter evenly into 4-inch tubes.

"The day after your wedding."

After sprinkling eclairs with a powdered sugar, Ash took the tray and placed it in another oven. Ang paggawa naman ng filling ang hinarap niya. I was just watching her doing all the baking.

I couldn't help but look at her. She was the epitome of a successful woman. Beautiful, sweet and confident. Who would have thought that she's still single until now?

Until now, I didn't know the reason why she and One broke up. No one dared to talk about it before. As if they were avoiding it like a plague.

I remember I asked One once. But, he didn't give me a clear answer. Nahiya naman akong tanungin noon si Ash. Baka isipin pa niya masyado akong tsismosa. Pero, nakita ko kung gaano rin siya nasaktan noon. She put some distance between them. To the point that she won't get close and even talk to him.

But now that I am with her, I have this urge to ask her what really happened between them. They were a perfect couple. I even helped One before just to get them together.

"What is it, Skye?"

I almost jump from my seat when I heard her voice. "Huh?"

She glanced at me before going back to whisk the eggs, egg yolks, salt and sugar in a bowl. "You want to say something?"

Napakamot ako sa pisngi at nahihiyang ngumiti sa kanya. "More like a question, actually."

"Sure. What is it?"

"Uhm... Something about your past."

Itinigil njya ang ginagawa at muling nag-angat ng tingin. Mataman siyang tumingin sa 'kin. "About me and One?"

Bahagya akong nagulat at napatuwid ng upo sa high stool. "How did you know it has something to do with One?"

Nagkibit-balikat siya. "Wild guess." Then, she grinned playfully. "Besides, you have this kind of expression that you really wanted to know something about him. It was written all over your face."

I sighed before answering. "Curious lang ako. Until now kasi, hindi ko alam ang dahilan ng paghihiwalay n'yo. And I never thought that you two would break up." Maingat at nananantiyang tumitig ako sa kanya. "What exactly happened, Ash?"

She continued what she was doing earlier. When I thought she had no plan to answer my question, she stopped and suddenly spoke, looking straight into my eyes.

"You," she said. "You happened."

I got confused. "Anong ako?" takang tanong ko. "You mean, dahil ba nakipaghiwalay ako kay Uno kaya nakipaghiwalay ka rin kay One?"

Bahagya siyang natigilan. Hanggang sa ngumiti at umiling-iling. "That's not what I meant."

"Eh, ano? I mean, both of you were perfect for each other. So, what went wrong?"

"Let's just say, we're not really meant to be," she replied, taking a deep breath. "No matter how perfect we are for each other."

Hindi ako nakapagsalita, but somehow, I silently agreed with her. May mga tao talaga na kahit gaano pa kayo kabagay at ka-perfect para sa isa't-isa, hindi pa rin nagkakatuluyan sa huli.

"Pero, hindi ka ba nanghinayang sa relasyon n'yo?" hindi ko naiwasang itanong.

Saglit ding nag-isip si Ash bago sumagot. "Medyo nalungkot at may kaunting panghihinayang. Pero, hindi ko pinagsisisihan ang desisyon kong pakikipaghiwalay kay One noon." Binitiwan niya ang bowl at bahagyang inilayo. Itinuon niya ang mga braso sa countertop at matamang tumingin sa mga mata ko. "Actually, looking at where we are and what we had achieved right now, letting him go was the best decision I've ever made for the both of us.

"It wasn't easy at all. He was my first crush and first love, after all. And he was one of my best friends. After the break up, dumistansiya ako at hindi muna masyadong nakipaglapit sa kanya. Just to forget and move on. One respected my decision. And I was thankful for that.

"Pero, totoo nga ang kasabihan nila. Friends can be lovers, but lovers can't be friends. Even if we've known each other for too long, after the break up, hindi na bumalik ang dati naming closeness. May nagbago na sa samahan namin. And as if we have this silent agreement that we couldn't go back to what we had before."

True. Hindi naman iyon maiiwasan. At natural lang naman talaga yata mangyari iyon sa mga dating magkaibigan na naging mag-ex na.

"But, don't get me wrong. We're still friends. At itinuturing ko pa rin siyang best friend ko. Iyon nga lang, may nagbago na talaga sa pagitan namin. Mas close pa nga ako kay River ngayon. At si One naman, mas close na rin kina Lander at Cliffer."

"Minsan ba naisip mong makipagbalikan sa kanya?"

"Duh! Many times, actually," she said, rolling her eyes. "You couldn't imagine how tempted I was to go back to his arms and take my words back. I even thought that he's my TOTGA. The one that got away. But then..." she trailed off.

"But, then?"

"Every time I would see him silently looking at you from afar... And how stupid he was to be contented on being friends with you... Alam kong wala ng pag-asa pang magkabalikan kami."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Ha? Anong kinalaman ng pagiging magkaibigan namin noon? Kung sinabi mo lang sa 'kin na gusto mong makipagbalikan sa kanya, tutulungan pa kita. Mahal ka ni One."

A sad smile formed on her lips. "But, not the same way like I did before, Skye. Magkaiba ang pagmamahal namin sa isa't-isa."

"Well, meron naman talagang may isang higit na nagmamahal sa mga taong nagmamahalan, 'di ba?"

Kumurap-kurap siya. And as if she was looking at me in disbelief. Bago pa man ako makapagsalita ulit, ngumisi siya. A sarcatastic one. "It wasn't the case between us. Anyway, it's my turn to ask." Seryoso siyang tumingin sa 'kin. "What happened, Skye?"

"Ha?" sambit ko.

"What exactly happened between you and One? What went wrong?"

Her question caught me off guard. Hindi ko rin alam kung paano sasagutin ang tanong ni Ash. What happened between us? I don't know. What went wrong? I have no idea, either.

Nang ibalik ko ang tingin kay Ash, mataman siyang nakatitig at naghihintay sa sagot ko. "Honestly, I don't know."

"Nag-away ba kayo? Nagkatampuhan?"

Mapait akong ngumiti. "Sana nga ay nag-away na lang kami, Ash. Mas maiintindihan ko pa siguro kung gano'n nga ang nangyari sa 'min. But, no. We didn't fight. We just... stop."

Her forehead creased. "What do you mean?"

"We stop communicating." Huminga ako nang malalim. "Noong umalis siya, may natatanggap pa 'kong sagot sa mga chat ko sa kanya. Suwerte na nga kung more than three words ang reply niya sa 'kin. Mula sa thrice a week, naging twice a week ang mga naging reply niya. Then, once a week. Then, once a month na lang. Hanggang sa mas dumalang pa. Until I got tired sending him messages anymore. What's the used of sending him messages if I would only get a one word reply from him?" pahayag ko.

Ngayong nasabi ko ang mga iyon kay Ash, muli kong naalala ang mga naging reply sa 'kin noon ni One. Every time I would ask him how was he, I would only get an 'okay' reply. Every time I would chat and ask him when he'll come back, he would only say 'busy'. No more other words. Kaya hindi ako masisisi kung mawalan ako ng gana na makipag-usap sa kanya. 

He made me feel that he didn't want to talk to me in the first place. He made me feel as if I was just a nuisance to him. He made me feel angry and disappointed in him because he didn't keep his word and promise before he left the country. 

At mas lalo akong naiinis at nagagalit dahil umaakto si One na para bang balewala lang sa kanya ang lahat. As if nothing had happened. As if my anger didn't matter to him. Tsk.

"Maybe he had reasons."

Ibinalik ko ang tingin kay Ash.

"For not communicating with you," she added. "Just like his sudden decision for leaving and continuing his studies in another country. I believe he had reasons, Skye."

"Ano naman ang rason niya?"

"Kung ano man ang rason niya, siya lang ang nakakaalam. But I guess, you're one of his reasons."

"Ha? Bakit naman isa ako sa magiging dahilan niya? As far as I remember, hindi ko siya pinapaalis noon."

Isang makahulugang ngiti lang ang isinagot niya. "Anyway, speaking One..." Tuluyan na munang iniwan ni Ash ang ginagawang filling bago umupo sa katapat kong upuan dito sa countertop.

Lumingon muna siya sa may pintuan bago ibinalik ang tingin sa direksyon ko. Iminuwestra niya ang isang kamay para palapitin ako. And I did. Our faces were inch away from each other when she muttered something. "I think he has a girl in Vegas."

What? Si One? May babae? 

"Pa'no mo naman nasabi?"

Bahagya siyang lumayo at umayos ng upo. "Lander sent me a video and they were talking about this girl. Even though One didn't mention that the girl was his, but the fact he didn't deny that she was his reason for always coming back in Vegas, it must be something."

"Like they are in a secret relationship?"

"No. I doubt that," she said, shaking her head. "He's not the type of guy to be in a secret relationship. Besides, if they are really in a relationship, there's no way One would leave the girl behind and come back here without saying anything. Tinanong ko rin naman siya tungkol sa babae. He just told me she's a friend and didn't say much about her. But I guess, that girl is special to him."

"It's a good thing, right?"

"What do you mean?" Kinuha niya ang pitcher at nagsalin ng tubig sa baso niya.

"If that girl is someone special to him, it means naka-move on na rin siya sa 'yo," pahayag ko.

Halos maibuga ni Ash ang iniinom na tubig. Mabilis akong kumuha ng tissue na nasa mesa at iniabot sa kanya. 

Tinanggap naman niya iyon at pinunasan ang bibig. Nang makabawi, "Hindi naman niya kailangang mag-move on sa 'kin. At kung magmu-move on man siya, it's because of you."

Nagsalubong ang kilay ko. "Bakit naman dahil sa 'kin? Ikaw ang ex-girlfriend at minahal niya, 'di ba?"

Ash took a deep breath. "Oh, gosh. You didn't change," she stated, rolling her eyes at me.

"Ha?"

Ngumisi siya at umiling-iling. "Your slowness is annoyingly cute, Skye. "

"Compliment ba 'yan, Ash?" nakangusong tanong ko.

"Of course, silly," sagot niya bago hinawakan ang kanang pisngi ko at bahagya iyong pinisil. "Anyway, I'll try to ask One again about the girl. Or maybe I could ask Cliffer about her. Siguradong may alam siya sa kung ano man ang relasyon ni One sa babaeng 'yon."

Tumango na lang ako at hindi na nagkomento. Wala rin naman akong sasabihin. Girlfriend or not, his love life was the least of my concern now.