Memories of regret

Hope.

                     . CHAPTER 5.

This morning is colder then the last, think it's turning winter.

I put on my cosiest jacket and headed outside. The wind is blowing my blond hair in every direction.

I see Jean and Diana standing at a fire, aswell as Cole and Nicholas...they are talking to eachother.

I walk towards them, shivering.

"Ohayo Gozaimas." Cole greets me in Japanese that stands for good morning. He mustive known that I was studying the language.

A greet them all and they greet back.

I walk towards my mom and docter Zavier.

"We begin in two hours with the training." he says.

My mom hands me a warm cup of coco "There isn't many if this left, we drink this once or twice sometimes." she says.

I haven't drink this since I was 15.

I thanked her and we sat in silence for the rest of the time.

A army guy walks towards us with a box then the doctor called Cole.

He opened the box and handed us a package.

"Change into this uniform for the training." he says.

I wasn't looking forward to it, it makes me a little sad.

I could see Jean starring in my direction, he looks at me as if he doesn't want me to do this, trust me I don't want too either.

I didn't take the package that the doctor was holding towards me.

I standed up and walk away.

Cole runs after me,he shouts my name.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"This intire thing just makes me feel messed up," I reply "But I can't just leave it." I quickly add.

"Here." he says then hands me the package

We smile at eachother and suddenly a siren went off.

People are running in every direction, screaming.

Cole stops one of the people living at the camp and asks her what is happening.

"The zombies," she says terrified "They got in and are running everywhere!" she says then runs off.

We both look at eachother then he runs to his family.

I struggle to grab my g*n thats laying in my tent under my pillow.

When I turned around a w(i)nd is standing right infront of me, looking at me. I hesitate to scream but I wanted to test something.

I stood up close to the zombie. If my mom is right about me being godlike figure to them, I have to see it for myself.

I reached my hand out to the zombie, she flinches at first but bowed her head slowly into my hand.

I glance at my side and see Anika starring at me.

The zombie notices her and turns, then runs after her.

I didn't know what to do, I knew that it would hurt her or even worse and they would blame me because I was the closests.

I started to run after them, shouting for help

I throw myself into the middle of them and tell the zombie to stop.

Anika runs off,not knowing what to do next.

I know it would not hurt me. I stared it for a while. Nobody is like me I thought so they aren't safe.

Alot of people are wounded and bitten some, are even dead.

They started clearing the place. Those who are effected were put on a green ribben, they are going to go to the feezer. These who are dead is given a red one.

I walk around, I feel dizzy, the pain is comeing back and it felt that I am suffering.

Cole is walking towards me.

"Thanks," he says. He is out breath and swetting "For saving my sister?" he reminds me.

"Oh yeah. Its my pleasure." I respond.

"You understand why we have to do this?"

Before I could awnser him the doctor called me. My mom is with him.

"We need a sample of your blood, we think we can try something for a cure." he requested.

I would do that, if it would save people.

" I'm up for it." I accepted his request.

They both walk away and chatting.

"You probably noticed that I was the one who blabbered about what happened in the resting room," He starts explaining "But I only did because I was hoping my father maybe could use the information." he quickly adds.

"Yeah, that doesn't bother me that much." I replied.

"Your eyes are lighter today." he changed the topic.

"What do you mean?"

"Well it's always dark green and sometimes hazel, but now it's light, like grass." he explains.

"It's beautiful." he complimented.

I thanked him and went to change into my training uniform.

It is tight but somehow comfortable. It's a dark black colour with green stripes on the end of the sleeves. It also has pockets and bands to put stuff in.

I sighed, then putted my hair in a ponytail.

I wish I had shower, but we only can shower once a week, girls can etleast shower twice or three times, only because not all the water is clean and it takes a month on the least to make sure it's safe to drink and shower in.

My hair is always soft, but it still looks dirty.

"Hey you ready?" my mom ask as she walks in.

She handed me a necklace. I already had five around my neck, yet I didnt mind.

"Oh dear, it looks like you can open a jewelry store."

I laughed and said that I didnt want to take it off because it has to much value.I told who it's from and she agreed with me. But I took hers aswell.

"Just take it off if you're training. You'll be training with alot of electricity aswell." she reminds me.

I took it off then putted it in my bag that brought with me.

I headed to the training center.

The intire army/,military, astronauts, navy seales,scientist and even the doctors were there.

Cole came to me so did his father.

They asked if I'm ready and I wasn't even sure I am.

_After training _

The training went awful, there were a lot of pushing, crawling, hiding, learning how to shoot, jumping, swimming and for some reason, reading.

I was tired and still in pain. I took of my training clothes then I put on my normal clothes.

While heading outside I notice that I dont have my necklaces with me , I quickly ran back into the room to look for it but couldn't find it. I started to cry of anger.

Cole came in and asks me if alright.

"Ofcourse not, my necklaces are stolen!" I shout.

"How sure are you?"

"I'm freaken hundred percent sure," I closed my face with my hands then putted it down again "It was right here before I left. Who would even take it?"

"Come'on, lets head outside, we'll look for it tomorrow."

"No. You don't get how much that means to me....,They were given to me by people who are like family."

He sits down next to me and puts his hand on my back.

As I'm crying Jean walks in.

"Here." he says and hands me the necklaces.

"Why do you have it?!" I shout out of anger.

"I picked it up when you just left this room. It was infront of door." he explains then walks out.

"What's thier value" Cole asks.

"Well, one is from my cousin Dakota she gave this to me two days before my 16th birthday its a word in Japanese and one is from Nicholas it's a zodiac scorpio, he gave it to me the day we went our separate ways; one is from Jean it's an star; this one is from Lisa, it's a sea shell, she used to love it; this is from my dad before he died it's a locket of me and him; and one is from my mother that she gave me today, I think it's a sloth she knows that I love them." I kept talking about the necklaces.

He looks at me as he admires everything Im saying.

He makes me feel butterflies in my stomach.

I told him we should go outside to the other and he agreed.

We head outside talking about the training today. Its freezing outside and really dark.

"Hey, I got you something." Diana says and hands me box.

My anger towards her is past, we are too close for me to be mad.

"What's in it?"

"Open up and see." her eyes are filled with delight and happiness.

I opened the box and inside is a photo album.

"Uh thanks?"

"Open the album, silly." she joked.

I did as she said. The album looked fermiliar.

It's an old photo album that we had when we lived in Dallas, it's photos of my family, friends, things I did in school and all of my old memories.

I wanted to cry of joy.

"Where did you get this?"

"When we left the farm house we passed your house. I wanted to check it out and found this. I knew that you'd love it, so I grabbed."

I gave her a tight hug and thanked her.

We all sat around the fire that night and talk about the things in our past or what we wanted too do for our future. It's fun to talk about but it's sad that we never got to do what we wanted too.

I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone. I had too much feelings about my past, it's haunting and terrifying to think about.

**3YB, 2days before bday**

"Hey!" Dekota shouted while she ran towards me. "I know its early and al but I got you something." she handed me a box thats says happy birthday. I opened it and found a word in Japanese necklace. It read, don't ever feel lonely for you'll always have us,... it's sweet and I loved it.

"You still coming, right?" I asked her while she puted the necklace around my neck.

"Definitely, wouldn't miss it. See ya!" she said and waved as she walks away.

** Present **

Can't believe that it al happened so fast, loosing everyone that was the closests to me. I just want everything to be the same like it was.

I dicide to head back to my tent, where I feel more in my comfort zone. I just wish that this day could end and the next day. We aren't training tomorrow, thank god, only because the armys are going to the town to find supplies and stuff.

I fell asleep quite easily, without thinking or remembering my past.

*Next day *

I woke up feeling dizzy, it wasn't pleasing.

I head outside to the other people. Like usual they are standing around a fire.

I see that the doctor is heading up stage, I wonder whats the problem now.

"Attention!" he starts.

"As you know we have our armys, navy's, scientist, doctors, policemen,astronauts and military, all working on our side. We get a little confused, don't we?" he jokes then went on

"So we've come with a solution. From now on

Doctor's and sciencetist will be known as 'Zero' and the rest are being called 1st and 2nd squads. If it's better to use in that way. They all still have their same and different mission, only the the first squad is these who are going outside the campus, the second is these who protect us inside. You'll learn who they are in time."

After the doctor went of stage, he walked towards me.

" We... I want you to go with the first squad, to give them more protection. We'll be safe here." he demands.

All the squads gathered around the doctor.

"Plans has changed." he says.

I saw that Jean and Cole are both in the first squad.

"Émony will be your protecter." he says to them.

"What, why?" one man asks.

"Yeah, why she?" a second one asks

"Because she's the only person who can control those demon's!" he shouts on them.

They all were quiete, not speaking a word.

Cole walks towards me, asking if he can talk to me. Jean aswell came to me, asking the same request.

I didn't want to hear it so I walked away, not giving an awnser.

"Émony, wait!" the docter shouted, "I'm not done yet." he added

"You guys leave tomorrow morning early."

I requested to talk to him before I head to the fire place.

He agreed.

"After the second or third training, can we have a funeral?"

"For who, if I may ask?" he says.

"For a close friend I had. Her name is Lisa." I told him.

He agreed to what I had requested.

We went our separate ways as usual.

Cole and Nicholas were talking at the fire. Jean is no where to be seen, that actually makes me a little curious, he is probably with Diana.

"Hey Éms." Cole said and puts his arm over my shoulders.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" he asks.

I need to end my stubbornness, stop walking away and realize that he is going to be there every where I go.

"Yeah." I replied.

He looks happy to see that I changed a little.

"Hope you guys will be safe." Nicholas said.

I agreed with him even though I'm stressing my a*s off for tomorrow.

A women handed me rostered bread and asks if it will do. She then walks away.

Cole's little sister came and tugged my shirt.

"Can you tell me another story of your past?" she requests.

"Sure, lets sit down and I'll tell you."

We sat down on the wood stomps surrounding the fire.

"Well if I can remember correctly, I was at school a week before my birthday. My mom came to pick me up to go out for a milkshake, we fought the night before and I ran away from the house."

"Yeah she was a real rebel back then." my mom says while she sits next to me and Cole.

"Anyway. We sat at the table waiting for the waitress to bring our drinks, she was taking forever just to bring it. After a while Dakota and her boyfriend Jaden came in and they sat with us." I proceeded to speak.

"What happened then?" Anika asked.

"My mom was furious of course."

"Why?" she asked again.

"Because when I ran away, I ran to Dakota's house and she was having a party. My mom thought I was drinking, but I wasn't."

We laughed together and talked the entire night further.

**next day**

Why did it have to be morning already, I wasn't looking forward to the task of today. I didn't want to face those demons, even though I don't get effected like the rest, they still have to be protected.

I went outside and walked to the room I had to change in. I left my necklaces under my pillow in my tent to keep it safe.

I sighed and said that I wished I wasn't so special like they think I am.

After the task we did in town I imdaintly went to the doctor to ask about the mission to the other planet.

"Hey, doc can I ask a question?"

"Yeah sure." he replied.

"The mission to the other planet, if I may ask when are we going?"

"We are still figuring it out. You are maybe leaving next week." he says.

Next week? That's not far long, we haven't even finished training.

"If you don't mind, we can do the funeral thing tomorrow." he adds.

"What about training?"

"It doesn't matter. The sooner you get on that mission, the better. You showed that you can survive anything and that's all we need to know."

I didn't awnser him, I was confused about how fast it's going.

I walk out of the room outside to Cole.

I asked him if he knows about the mission and he's reply is that he is aware of it.

After a while Jean walked to us, he didn't speak only stood there like he is scared and depressed.

"I don't want you guys to leave." he says with worry.

"Jean, it's really not going to be that bad." Cole says.

I didn't say anything, I myself is worried about this mission. What if something goes wrong and I can't do anything about it.

Cole takes my hand slowly and tells be its going to be fine. I have trust in his word, maybe I'm just over thinking this and maybe it's not that bad.

We didn't talk much that night. Everybody is quiete about the mission and no one talks about it.

**next day**

I woke up and made ready for the funeral. I went to the doctor and my mother who's already waiting for me. We started to walk to the place Lisa is going to be burried in.

My tears are rolling like water falls, my throat felt like its being tied by a rope and it hurts.

We soon reached the place. Not a lot of poeple are there only these who knew Lisa. Cole, Nicholas and Diana were there just to give me support and comfort.

"Lisa was the greatest friend I ever had." I started saying. I looked at my side and notice that the guy who shot her is standing there, a little far.

"She was like family to me and my mom and wish she was here today." I went on.

"I know not alot of you know her like I do, but she was truly unique and tough. Her eye's were blue and her hair was brown. She smiled alot and only think about the positive stuff." I added.

Moments after my speach we slowly burried her. My mother is holding my shoulders trying to comfort me as much as she could.

Everyone left moment after we thrown sand to close her grave. I'm the only one who is still standing there. My heart breaks every second when I think about her. I keep blaming myself for what happened to her, but I know she wouldn't have wanted that. So I needed to let go.

While walking away from her I bumped into that guy.

"I'm sorry, I was only doing my job you know." he says. He acts like he doesn't feel sorry. He has a small grin on his face that disgusts me.

"Sure you are." I reply and walk away.

Maybe he really is sorry, but I would never actually truly know, he doesn't look sorry that's why I don't believe him.

Something inside me tells me that it's not all his fault and maybe I'm just overthinking this like usual.

"Émony!" Cole shouts.

We walk straight to eachother.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"I guess." I reply.

"Come'on lets go to the other." he says.

I agreed and we both walked back.

My mother and Diana stood at the fire, talking to eachother. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, I only wanted to be alone, but I know that I'm leaving soon and I have to spend more time with everyone.