Memories of regret

Losing.

                        . CHAPTER 3.

When you're not fed love on a silver spoon, you learn to lick it off knives. -Lauren Eden

*****

I felt home agian. Hugging my mother tightly makes feel like nothing can hurt me.

Call it weak, but I just want to be by her side every second.

I look at my mother in the eyes and ask:

"I thought you were arriving on next Friday? Although that's what they told me."

She looks me dead in the eye and says:

"When I heard you were here at the camp, I imdaintly wanted to be here."

I wonder what she needed to do. They didn't say much when I asked.

I want to ask my mother something more, but then a bell rang so that we can gather for the speech.

I walk side by side with my mother and wonder what they are going to talk about.

We reach the chairs and sit down. I see Jean standing on the stage with his g*n, and a pistol by his side, he is looking at the people.

He notices me and bows his head, I bow mine back.

"So I heard you and Jean are something?" my mom teases.

I giggle then say, "Jean and I are just seeing eachother, not dating." I stated.

She looks at me and touches my shoulder, "Sweetheart, you are seeing eachother now. There's a huge difference in the way you look at eachother." she says, then looks back at the stage.

I look down to the grass. How do I even reply to that?.

My mom reads me like a book, since I was little she always needs to know what's happening in my life.

"We look at eachother because he sees my pain." I say after a while.

"Mhm, what pain?" she asks.

Before I awnser, the Captain of the Navy recruit walks on stage to the microphone. He starts by saying :

"Attention all citizen's.

It has brought our attention that most

Of you are starting to take action of

trying to figure out what's going on

and whats being planned.

We have cought those who broke

into the facility and we've taken our

own action in this event. Know that

if you don't stay by the rules, you will

be punished!"

He walks off stage, just when he did people starts whispering all around the place. Talking about how foolish those people are. Foolish? They are trying to help us, I think?

"Come here!" My mom shouts.

I see a man who is dressed like a doctor. He has a normal surgical mask on with a sergical cap and glases.

"Émony this is Doctor. Zavier." my mom introduces him then she does the same with me, "Zavier, this is my daughter."

He looks at me, looks like he's frowning, but I can't be sure.

"I have to get back to the test room, but it was nice meeting you Amony." he says.

"It's Émony!" I shout as he walks away.

My mom walks me back to my tent. "Where you going?"

"I have to see what's happening at the room," she replies. "But I'll see you tonight maybe okay." She gives me a hug then walks away.

I climb into my tent and lay on my back. I look at the time:," 15:05 (3:05Pm)" I say outloud.

"Wow that's late." Says Jean while he climbs into the tent.

"Wha-"

"Shush." he silences me, then starts kissing me.

I push him away then ask, "Are you mad? If they catch us-"

He frowns and look me in my eyes.

"If they catch us, even if we are holding hands. You know the rules Jean. I shouldn't be telling you this."

"Yeah Yeah. Only kiss in public, blah-blah, punishment, blah-blah." He mocks while he lay's on his back.

"Jean?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you have a girlfriend?" I ask as a joke.

"What?" He says confused.

"Well, are you in a relationship. Its 2028, surely you had a girlfriend 3 years ago in 2025?" I explain my question.

He looks at me like I'm mad, I'm starring into his hazal eyes, that's a little red on the eye banks.

"Émy, I did have a girlfriend back then. I was 20 she was 18. Actually we just broken up that day when everything happened. "

I lay next to him , starring at nothing.

"That day everything happened, I just turned 16. Lisa was there, a few family and friends, you know. My mom ran away, leaving me there. I thought it was because of the fights we had." I took a breather then ask, "Whats her name?"

He looks at with eyes that says that he didn't like her. "Her name was Carmý."

"Was?"

"Yeah. She was cought in a explosion." he is quiete like there's nothing else to say.

I didn't notice, but I fell asleep.

* * 3YA at the party* *

"Émony wake up." my mom said in soft voice.

I went outside and there's a bunch of people I knew standing there. They all sang happy bithday, then they all had this horrible scratches and bruses on their face and body. They had blood coming out of their mouths and they fell while they walked. They came closer and closer; minute by minute.

* *Present * *

I woke up instantly after that dream. What was that I thought.

Jean wasn't in the tent anymore. I hear people standing outside talking and shouting.

It's dark outside. But there's a bond fire fir light, so I putt on a jacket then head torwards it.

"You are awake." Jean says and hugged me from behind and then kisses me on the forehead.

"How long did I sleep?" I ask him.

"Few hours." he replies.

I gancle at my side and see my mom sitting on a piece of tree wood that's cutten off.

I excuse myself from Jean and walk to my mom.

She looks worried, I just didn't know why.

I sit next to her.

"What's wrong?" I ask her.

She looks up frightened. "Oh, nothing."

"I can see something is wrong, tell me please." I beg her.

She didn't awnser so I proceed to talk.

"I just keep thinking about that day, that day everything happened." I took a deep breath then exhaled, I remembered what I wanted to ask. "Why did you run off?"

She looks at me, she has serious face. She then looks down touching her blond hair. After a while she says, "That day everything was messy. I...I knew what was going to happen, I just didn't believe them."

"Believe who?"

"The people I worked for. When the siren went off, then the bomb fell, I hesitated then ran. I couldn't see you, so I thought you already took off."

That's why she looked different that day.

"Well we are together now. So there's nothing to feel bad about." I hug her then I tell her to not worry. I standed up and walked back to Jean.

"Hey." He grabs me around my waist. I stare at him with glowing eye's. I like the comfortness when I'm around him. He makes me feel safe. If only this stupid camp didn't have such over rated rules.

I turn my head to see where my mom is, but she wasn't sitting at the wood piece. I turned back to my position I was in before.

The people are talking about the old day's, when we still had cellphones and laptops.

"Are you okay?" Jean asks worried.

"Yeah,"... was I actually? I thought, "I'm fine thanks."

He takes his hand off my waist then hands me a drink.

I look at it mysteriously. I wonder what it is?.

I take a sip of it then quickly spit it out.

"Oh my god, that's disgusting!"

Jean laughs at me then he says, "Babe it's only cold tea with a little alcohol in." he states.

Babe? That's the first time he has ever called me that.

"Babe-?" I ask.

He didn't notice who he is talking to."Carmý whats wrong, I always call you that."

It feels like my tears is about to break walls thats keeping it in. My heart feels heavy and in pieces. He notices that he is talking to me, he quickly tries to take the words back by saying his sorry.

I put down the cup. Then say goodnight.

"Émony. I'm sorry."

I walk away with tear's of anger. He shouts my name as I walk away.

I can hear him cursing. I know it's hard to let go of a person you loved once, but it still hurts.

I zipp my tent close and lay on my pillow. I cry myself to sleep as quietly as I can.

**Next day**

I felt tired and weak. It felt that every piece in my body is hurting, places I ever had something stuck.

I standed up and putt on my jacket. I head outside.

It's misty and wet.

I look for my mom, but can't find her.

"They left a few hours ago." the Little girl says.

I notice that I never gotten her name. Before I could ask a guy came towards me and the little girl runs of.

I look up to see him.

"I'm Cole. And that's my little sister Anika." he says.

I introduce myself "Oh, Hi. I'm Émony."

"Yeah I know, your mother works with my father." He states.

"Docter. Zavier?"

He walks around me and looks me up and down.

"Jean's girl huh?"

I didnt say anything.

"How aren't you dead?" he proceeds to ask when he notices I didnt reply.

"What?" I ask him confused.

"You had a glass stuck in your thigh. Almost gotten eaten by your cousin, aswell almost gotten eaten, what like 16 times? Fell onto another building And a piosen bush stuck in your stomach?" he states.

He was probably at the camp fire when I told the story.

"Hey you wanna do something fun?" he asks. He has this look that gives me a rebel vibe.

"Like what?"

"Run to the river." he suggests.

"That's outside the limit." I remind him.

"Yeah,but with a girl who's good luck, anything is possible."

I knew it is dangerous and I really don't want to run away from the w(i)nd's.

"Come'on, it'll be fun!" he tries to seduce me. He has a husky voice, it actually fitts with him.

I finally give in and we run to the river that's outside the gates.

We sit there and watch the zombies trying to cross it.

"Wana dive in?"

"We should head back before we get in trouble." I try to argue with him.

He doesn't want to leave so I took it upon myself to walk on my own.

It's not safe, I have no weapons with me and that makes me feel unsafer.

I hear something making a noice.

Then I hear Cole running and he screams at me to do the same.

Zombies are just behind him.

I run as fast as I can,but then I trip. Why am I always tripping in a situation like this. I couldn't see Cole anywhere, when I look infront me, a w(i)nd is standing there. He looks at me and try to come closer. He went on his knees and I can see in it's eyes that it doesn't want to hurt me.

I'm still on the ground, laying in a position that makes it hard to stand up and run.

The zombie comes closer and closer.

He is so close to me, I'm scared that if it bites me I'll turn into one of them.

He sniffs me all over my body. My tears rolled across my face and my eye's are closed.

I open it to find that the zombie had dissapeared.

I heard Jeans gravelly husky voice saying "Here you are!"

I look at him like he is a stranger. After last night I can't look at him in another way.

I'm actually glad he came. But in his presents I don't feel compfortable. He picks me up and ask if I'm okay. I didn't awnser him ofcourse. When I just standed up I fell on my knees and growl of pain. It felt like everything hurts as usual just where the places it hurt before.

He looks at me and ask the same question.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Where's Cole?" I ask him.

He looks angry like he hates Cole with jealousy.

He frowns and then ask, "You were with him. Of people, him? What were you doing?"

I didn't have the time to please and explain.

I stood up and walked past him holding my stomach. I stopped but this time I screamed of the pain. Jean looks at me mysteriously like he has no words to say.

I walked further on and he quickly caught up.

We walked in silence to the camp.

I see Cole standing there, waiting for me.

I'm furious at him for just leaving me.

When he sees Jean behind me, he imdaintly walk away.

I run after him shouting his name. But before I reach him I pass out.