Thorns Of The Past.

Tensions.

When tensions rise, it's hard to admit we have been wrong.

~at the same time, Blood Snow Pack, pack house~

Ryker’s pov

He takes his seat right opposite of me to the other head of the long table and I exhale in frustration.

Gabriel Jones, the Alpha of the Blue River Pack, the asshole, my ‘dear father’, is here, because the time has come.

This one week passed very quickly, I had too many things to do, I was thinking a lot about plenty of things and I didn’t realize when and how this day came and we are here to talk. I am more confused and frustrated than ever since the moment I took the decision to accept and take my rightful place and to be honest I don’t know why.

I mean, I shouldn’t feel confused, because things are pretty clear already, but something is different and I don’t understand what this is exactly.

It’s simple, I am going to stay there, take the title in some weeks from now and continue like the Alpha. Claire was right, because I already love the pack and I feel the bond with them as the more I think about it, the more I want to go and spend my life with them and protect them like a good Alpha and I know that Jones and I are never going to be close (and I have no problem with this, it’s what I want), so why do I feel something else is going on?

My instinct keeps on warning me that everything is soon going to change and not as for where I am and what I do. It is driving me crazy and I decided to talk about it with Blaze, who told me I am overreacting because I am leaving and I am becoming dramatic. I regretted telling him, seriously, I thought he would help me, but he made me angry and things got worse.

Okay, I have to be honest, he had a small point, I am getting dramatic, because I can’t imagine my life in a different pack and away from my family and it hurts me a lot, but I know myself and I am sure the reason is beyond this.

These days I am trying to spend time with everyone and most importantly with my family. I am with Claire, Blaze, Megan, Mark, Kira and my uncle all the time, they also try to be with me the most they can and Mark is taking some of my responsibilities to help me have more free time. I don’t know what I would do without him, honestly and Megan is a very big help as well.

I find it very hard to leave them, they became two of my idols with my uncle taking the first place and I am relieved they assured me that they are going to help me in anything I need in my new pack. I had no doubt, they can do that, because Claire, Blaze and Kira can’t leave from here, but they do, they will be able to come very often and even stay for some days and this means I won’t miss them so much.

What is going to break my heart is the fact that I am leaving behind Claire, my only sister, my twin, my sweet angel, my ‘baby sister’ as I call her and I am already suffering. You know, we are together from before we come in this world, we never got separated and I had never thought of it, so it is extremely hard for me to continue my life somewhere else without her by my side. I had other plans and dreams, I wasn’t prepared at all and Claire is necessary for me, it’s like the light in my life, because she always is the sweet and kind one and I am the serious and tough. I am going to miss her presence around me, her scent, her smile, her noises and laughs, her gentle touch, her warm, supportive aura and her full of love gaze.

Our lives are connected and they can’t break no matter what. We complete each other and not having her with me is scary. She is the one who calms me down when I am mad, knows how and when to talk to me, how to cheer me up, convince and soften me, because I am stubborn and my energy sometimes makes me explosive and arrogant. With Claire by my side I am sure I stay in the right path and in the limits, but what if this change completely from now?

And then comes my chosen brother, my best and most trusted friend, Blaze. God, how am I supposed to run a pack without him by my side?

We run this pack together from the night we took our titles, we work like one, we are not Alpha and Beta, we are a team and in some days this is going to stop happening. I will be an Alpha, he will stay the great Alpha I know he is and we won’t be one, we won’t be together all the time in everything and it hurts me like hell.

It is going to be a huge wound for me to lose him. We keep balances when we are together, we cover each other’s weaknesses and we feel confident and sure. I feel safe when I know Blaze has my back, I trust him more than I trust even my own self and once I leave, this dies and I don’t want to accept it.

Then we have Kira, the most silent yet mature one between our group of four. She is the calm catalyst and I am going to miss her discreet yet supportive presence. She is going to take my place and this is why I showed her some details she needed to see and I am more than sure she is going to make a fantastic Beta. She has everything it takes and she is very dedicated to the pack, so I am not afraid at all. She is also going to have Mark and Megan to help her, Blaze and Claire with uncle Evan won’t leave her and her future is going to be excellent.

The last person I am going to ‘lose’ is my uncle, my male idol, the great Alpha, the kind, fair, strong and generous man who taught me almost everything I know with my mom and this is my uncle, Evan. This man is responsible for a big part of who I have become and I owe him a lot. He taught me how to fight, work, think, behave and respect. He never compared me with Blaze who is his son, he never showed preferences, he never stopped being patience and caring, he never left me and he never stopped loving me.

I could say he is the father I know, because he is more than an uncle for me. He did more than any uncle would do and what make it more special is that he is not even my biological uncle. He accepted me without asking anything in reply, he did everything unconditionally and I will never be able to make it up to him.

I am leaving with my head up and my only goal is to make him proud of me, although I don’t want to walk away from him. I know he is happy and excited for me, he keeps on telling me I will do an amazing job and he gives me strength and hope, so I will do my best to satisfy his expectations.

And last, but not least I am sure you wonder why I didn’t mention my mother and I understand you. You see… I am not planning to lose my mom, I have some conditions in order to go to Blue River Pack and one of them has to do with her. I have told nobody about it yet, I didn’t want them to expect it, because if I give my mother time to think about it, she will end up with a very good solution to avoid it and it’s the last thing I want.

Don’t get me wrong, I have the best intentions for my mother, I want her happy and we talked after I calmed down, I asked from her to forgive me for my outburst and we are better than ever now, but I am going nowhere without her. I gave a promise to myself and her the night Claire and I turned 18 and shifted and there is no way I am breaking it because of the new ‘reality’. I promised we are never going to break apart and this is the reason I have a specific condition in my mind.

I want her with me in order to take care of her and make sure she is happy and if she comes with me, she will replace the lost time with our family, I mean grandma Helen, grandpa Chase, uncle Brandon and his mate and daughter. So, this is another reason she must follow me and she can come here to stay with Claire and the others any time she wants.

My mother is my biggest weakness, I can’t live without her and Claire and Blaze can’t come with me, but she can and I am not planning to step back as for this matter.

“Now that we are all here, shall we begin?” my uncle says nervously and gives a short look to me and Gabriel.

You see, we are in everyone’s main interest today for easily understandable reasons. This meeting is talking place for me and him and all the others are here with us and when I say ‘others’ I mean my mother and Claire with Blaze, Kira, Evan, Mark and Megan.

My mother told me Gabriel would come back today to know my answer and I asked from her and the others to be present, because I want them all to know my decisions and conditions, I need to be clear.

At this point I have to inform you that only Gabriel is unaware of my decision, my family knows I accept to go, but I told them nothing else, not even the slightest detail about what I am going to ask from him, well in fact I won’t ask anything from him, I will just make sure we agree in some very important for me matters.

Anyway, it’s the time.

I turn to my mother who is sitting on my right and find her already looking at me. She is nervous, she avoids looking to his direction and if I didn’t know her, I would say she is scared, but she is not, she just feels uncomfortable.

After her, I turn to Claire and Blaze on my left. Both of them are calm and very serious, much more than the usual, as they want to be discreet and typical, because Claire is very confused as for Gabriel after some things we learned. Well, it’s not the right time to talk about these, because they have to do with him and that slut’s daughter who isn’t even his and he never wanted her, but he adopted her and I don’t give a s**t about her and this entire thing, but I am mentioning it, because it’s not the same for Claire and even my mom who want to meet her and already like her. So, Claire was quite positive with Gabriel before and now she is not so much, as she feels sorry for that Hayley and I am glad at some point, because in this way she continues to keep Gabriel Jones away from her.

Next is Kira with Mega and they are on my right after my mother. These two are behaving completely differently. Megan hates that she has to be in the same room with Gabriel, she has clearly taken my side and I am excited about it and Kira is happy for me and I would say she feels sympathy for Gabriel. As you understand the first one is the ice queen and the second is the nice one with a big bright smile on her face.

And last we have Mark and uncle Evan. They are sitting far away from me and next to Gabriel. My uncle is on his right and Mark on his left and for once more they are the professionals I know so well. Nothing can affect them when they want be neutral and keep balances and this is what is happening right now.

In the end I look Gabriel who is not taking his eyes from me and has a blank expression I can’t read. It’s the first time I find it so difficult to understand what someone thinks or feels and it is annoying for me. He doesn’t look scared, worried, happy or angry, I don’t know how he is doing this and I find myself weak at this part. I hate being in the dark, I always want to have the hand above and now I can’t, because I can’t get in his mind.

“Stop playing or waiting and end this here and now!” my wolf, Rowen says and I groan nervously in agreement.

He is right, forget about everything else, it doesn’t matter. He came to talk and this is what is going to happen.

“Yes, the sooner we finish this, the better.” I state shortly and sit more comfortably in my seat without taking my eyes from Gabriel’s.

Damn! How is he doing this? If he wanted to play with my nerves, he accomplished it with great success.

“My mother…” I begin and give her a short, firm look.

“Told me everything and I don’t think we need to get into the details or the reason you made this ‘offer’.” I continue and he narrows his eyes quite surprised I would say.

Something bothered him, this is the feeling I get, but he is not angry. Maybe I said something wrong according to his tastes.

“It wasn’t an offer actually. I said the truth, you are the next Alpha of the pack by blood. You are the first child your mother and I have and Claire is already a Luna here, so this makes you the only ‘heir’. I did the only logical and right thing. I asked from you to accept the title, come to your original pack and be the next Alpha after me and I am going to do it again, if it’s needed.” He says steadily with a calm expression that gets on my nerves and my wolf rolls his eyes to me.

Do you know what?

Jones is in control and I want to die right now. I wanted to be more powerful, maybe because I want to lower him, humiliate him and show him that I will be the boss from now, but I failed. I guess it sounds too rude and disrespectful from me, I become mean, but I feel hatred and anger for him, I can’t do otherwise, honestly.

I take a deep breath, put my thoughts in a queue, feel everyone’s eyes on me and force myself to ‘grow up’, calm down and act maturely. I think I am glad he is not allowing me to challenge him and he is the mature one between us, or else we would have turned this meeting into a tough battle. I have no other choice than to accept some things like him and his presence. We are going to live under the same roof in some days and I desperately need some peace for me, the pack and the family.

“You don’t have to repeat it. There is no reason to, because I accept to come and take your place, but…” I begin and pause to look at my mother and Claire one last time.

Both of them are smiling discreetly touched for my decision and my heart melts. I feel relieved I chose to go, because they believe in me and they want the best for the pack and all of us. Claire was right for once more, I would never feel proud and pleased, if I denied going and facing my fate. That pack is my pack, we have the same blood, they need me and I need them.

I turn again and lock my eyes on Gabriel’s, but this time he is an open book for me. The big smile on his face and his shining eyes are the proof of how excited he is and I would dare to say he is touched as well and I don’t know how to deal with it. I am instinctually softening from his joy, he really wanted me to accept, I don’t know what to say about him anymore.

“We have to make some things clear from now. I don’t like ‘surprises.” I continue and he nods immediately in approval.

Man, what is wrong here? Why is he so nice when I hate him and he knows that?

“I am going to have a talk with you about it, but later!” my wolf says through his teeth like he is actually warning me and I decide to ignore him.

“Alright, I am listening.” Gabriel says warmer than before and I clear my throat mechanically.

“First of all, we are going to arrange the day of the ceremony when both of us feel I’m ready.” I say and he leans forward placing his hands on the cool desk.

“Ryker, this is the logical thing anyway. You need to come, meet the pack, spend some weeks to get adapted, get to know quite well the basic members and get informed about everything from me. You can’t become the Alpha, unless we are both sure you are one hundred percent ready.” He replies confidently and I groan nodding.

At least we seem to have a similar way of thinking, this is something.

“Okay. Secondly, once I become the Alpha, you won’t interfere.” I say next and for once more he doesn’t react in the way I had imagined.

He is not annoyed or frustrated at all. It’s like he is fine with it and I thought he would react badly at this. I am younger, I don’t have so much experience and I believed he would have problem with only me taking decisions.

“I have no intentions to interfere, because it would be disrespectful and unfair of me to make you the Alpha and take from you the right to be in lead. It would be hypocritical and I won’t do to my son what my father didn’t do to me.” He states in a very warm and honest, strong tone and I do my best not to cough from shock.

I feel Blaze and Claire with Kira smirking to me wickedly, because I was the only negative and they were telling me he would be reasonable, probably more than me and I curse myself for my stupidity. I feel like a trash this moment, I had underestimated him and I am desperately trying to forget the two key words ‘my son’.

“Um… Fine. I guess we have a deal, but first I am going to ask for one last thing and not from you.” I announce and he, just like all the others, raises his eyebrows surprised not expecting this from me.

God, they are going to freak out, all for different reasons and I am angry this is going to make Gabriel happy and he is going to have opportunities to approach her, but f**k it. I am not changing my mind.

“I don’t understand… What do you want to ask and from whom?” he asks me confused and I avoid replying to him.

I snap my head to my mother who freezes like she suspects this has to do with her and turns pale. I notice that her chest starts going up and down, she holds her breath and keeps on observing me in agony and I convince myself to talk. I can’t see and feel her so nervous.

“Mother, I would like you to come and stay with me!” I state and many gasps sound the next second, my mother blinks her eyes and my heart starts beating faster.

Nobody talks or moves for a while, the only thing I can hear is strong heartbeats and no breaths. This silence is killing me, I can’t wait for her answer, I am hanging from her lips and I don’t want to imagine what will happen, if she denies coming.

“What? Why? Me?” she whispers breathless unable to believe it and I ignore everyone else because I am getting nervous with all these pairs of eyes on me.

This is panicking me, seriously, but I am not stepping back now.

I manage to take a short breath which gives me only a small sign of oxygen and it works like courage and push myself up to my limits. I deny taking my eyes from hers and she sighs heavily with her jaw clenching.

Okay, now or never, Ryker!

“I am going nowhere without you, mother. If you don’t come with me, I am not leaving!”

~some hours later, early at night, somewhere away~

Edgar’s pov

I open quickly my office’s window and the cool breeze hits my hot face and makes me exhale in frustration.

The freezing air is a big relief for me and I close my eyes to enjoy the sensation. It helps me relax, although I can’t stop being in tension completely and I truly need it. There is nothing else that can make me feel better, if we put aside Lucille.

Goddess… I have no idea how I have managed not to tell her about what happened that night some days ago.

Lucille is my other half, I wouldn’t have made anything without her and I know I am not expressive, I’ve never told her how much I love her and I generally never talk about my feelings to anyone, but I love her till death. It’s the first time I decided to keep a secret from her and I feel awful, although I know it is for the best.

I can’t tell her about what I found out and the incident in the forest with my deer and… Hers…

I must forget about it, I keep on repeating to myself that I shouldn’t care and erase everything from my memory, but it is difficult and I can’t stop thinking about it. This is why I am constantly in tension and I can’t calm down no matter what, because deep inside me it hurts me and I don’t want to forget her eyes, her gaze, her face, her.

I have a granddaughter from Arthur and under ideal circumstances she would be the next Alpha of the pack, although she is a woman, but this can’t happen, because of what Arthur did with that… I don’t even want to mention what that woman was, is and will be.

I banished Arthur, he is a rogue, I promised in front of the whole pack that he would never come back again and he is dead to me, so I can’t accept his daughter, no. She is going to be a shame for the pack and the family and this is against our laws.

She is not one of us, she can’t be…

It is breaking my ‘dead’, cold heart to think that the only granddaughter of mine, a dream I always had and the rightful Alpha of the pack is never going to come home and I am never going to meet her, but I can’t do otherwise.

“You can, you are the Alpha!” my wolf growls through his teeth and I bite my lower lip furiously.

He hasn’t stopped trying to convince me I have to bring her here and in this way find Arthur and make him come back and this is driving me crazy. He softened, after almost 17 years he has changed his mind for good and he wants back our son and granddaughter. He was never sensible, but now he is, something inside him broke when we saw her through our deer’s eyes and memory and he is against me and my decisions.

“We can’t. She is dirty and he went against us and when we gave him the chance to stay, he denied and made us banish him. Both of us agreed.” I reply gasping and open my eyes to look the silent forest in front of me.

It’s the very first time I find it so scary and I hate this silence. I avoid going for a run after that night and he has gotten crazy, he wants to be released, but I keep him under my control all the time. I don’t want to meet my deer and hers again, I won’t stand it, I will break and I mustn’t.

“We were too hard on him, she was his mate after all, he thought he had to give her a chance. He paid the prize for his mistake and even more… And she… She is ours, her place is here, I want the pup here!” he continues in an ever harsher tone which makes me tremble overwhelmed.

See? He continues, he doesn’t take ‘no’ for answer and I am alone.

“My decision is final and…” I begin to say, but the door opens violently and I turn around breathless to see a furious Lucille.

I have never seen her so angry and I can’t believe my eyes, it’s a huge surprise and shock for me.

Her beautiful mixed light green and grey eyes have turned into pure black, which means her wolf is in control, but they are changing color all the time, they are fighting for dominance. Her pale skin is blushed, especially her cheeks, her full lips are half open as she is gasping for air, her face features have changed dangerously and her not so long dark brown hair is messy with her body shaking instinctually.

She is just like her… Our… Granddaughter.

Yes, this is another thing I can’t forget or overpass and this is one more reason it is so difficult for me to stay away from Hayley. I always wanted a granddaughter, especially from Arthur and I wished she would be like Lucille, because Arthur took everything from his mother, but my body and abilities. So, I was dreaming of a little girl like Lucille with her grace and heart, because there is no kinder person than her, her character represents perfectly our pack’s morals, she is the best Luna who has passed from our pack.

“Lucille…” I mutter worried with my heart tightening and my wolf murmuring to me something in frustration and she growls taking one step forward.

Her eyes take their natural color after a second, but I don’t relax, I have a very bad feeling and her condition is something new for me and I have never dealt with it before. She is always calm, she never loses her temper and this is the first time she does, so this can’t be a good sign and I don’t know what happened except if…

No, can it be?

She…

“How long do you know?” she asks me hoarsely before I try to say anything else and I stiffen nervously.

She certainly knows, there is no doubt, but how? Only I saw the deer, only I was there and I told her nothing.

“HOW, EDGAR?” she repeats louder and wilder making me groan stressed.

“I don’t know what you are talking about, I…” I begin and I instantly regret it, but I can’t take it back anymore, although I did it unconsciously.

“LIAR!” she roars and starts walking to me, but Preston and Zion rush inside and pull her back with Kaden, Tanner and Nash running inside as well.

Well, s**t!

All of them are here, my sons, my grandsons, only my daughters in law are missing, I guess they are too shocked to react and come up here.

“Why grandpa? Why didn’t you tell us?” Kaden asks first stepping in front of Lucille, his father and uncle with Nash joining his side.

Kaden is the next Alpha of the pack and my older grandson. He was supposed to be a Beta like his father, but things changed for everyone after I banished Arthur . I had to continue being the Alpha, because his father, my second son, Preston had to stay as our Beta. You see, our rules are different, once someone takes a title, he can’t leave him to take another one. So, technically the first in line for the title after me is Kaden, but he is still 18 years old and he needs more training and experience. I am more focused on his the last one year for this reason and he is constantly by my side in order to learn the most he can.

Nash is my third and last son’s only kid and he is also 18, but some months younger than Kaden. He is going to be the Gamma after his father, Zion and he is very close with Kaden, they are not behaving like cousins, but like brothers.

“Tell you what?” I ask choosing to take it to the limits and Lucille growls again pushing Preston and Zion back.

As I mentioned these are our sons, the second and the third and they are the Beta and Gamma of the pack. Arthur was the older son we had and when I banished him, both of them took distance from me, but never challenged me or tried to go against me. I know they loved and love their brother, he was their protector and when I was strict with them, he was stepping in front to protect them. The three of them were one fist, they had no differences with each other, no jealousy, no complaints, no malice or anger and I was proud about it, because I had taught them that together they would be undefeatable. I had told them that family’s blood comes above everything and they followed my advice. This is why they almost hated me when they lost Arthur, a part of them left with him and now I am sure they won’t hold back. The stood losing their brother, but his daughter? No!

“Why your deer came back after almost 17 years, stood right in front of the pack house and it had a young female with it, that’s what!” Lucille screams passing by Kaden and Nash who look at me with a mixed expression I can’t bear.

It’s like they hate me, they are disgusted of me, but they are also hurt from my actions and secrets.

“They know… You better tell them the truth!” my wolf shouts outraged and I run my hand through my hair in despair.

I realized what Lucille just said and the floor under me disappears. I don’t want to believe that my deer came in the middle of the pack, stood in front of the pack house and brought her deer. It happened on purpose, he wanted them to know, he wanted to inform the pack about Hayley’s existence.

“I am going to ask you only one last time, Edgar! And I demand an answer before I tear down the entire pack house and then kill you with my own hands. How long do you know and why didn’t you tell us!” Lucille screams gasping and my shock gets replaced from intense rage.

Enough is enough, I don’t like her tone, I’m the Alpha here and all of them know the reason I said nothing. I had said Arthur would be dead to us and that meant everything else related to him as well.

“She doesn’t belong here, she isn’t one of us! She is just like her father and lower you tone when you talk to your Alpha!” I roar taking a step forward and Kaden pulls her back and away from me with Tanner joining his and Nash’s side.

Tanner is the youngest one and Kaden’s little brother. He is going to be the next Beta after his father, but this time won’t be any time soon, because he is only 17 years old.

“BULLSHIT! I AM THE LUNA, YOUR EQUAL! AND SHE DOES BELONG HERE, JUST LIKE HER FATHER, OUR SON!” she roars back and Nash keeps her away as she is ready to attack me.

This feels like a nightmare. She is not the woman I used to know, the one who loved me and never left my side. She has lost her mind completely.

“He is not my son, he is a traitor and you better forget about him and her. You know who decides and…” I say, but Preston passes by everyone with a low, angry scream escaping from his lips.

His green eyes turn almost black, he is so outraged for the first time and he dares to stand in front of me in the most challenging way, he is showing disobedience and I had never imagined anything like this from him.

“He is your blood and so is she and… Remember something… You decide for now, but not for too long…” he says with his fists shaking and I get ready to take a step to him, when Lucille gets free from Nash’ hold and jumps in front of me to push me back.

“You touched one son of mine, you won’t touch another one! Did you hear me? I had enough, you must pass above my dead body to touch them! WHO ARE YOU TO TALK LIKE THAT ABOUT ARTHUR? WHO? DO YOU REMEMBER WHY YOU ARE STILL ALIVE? DO YOU? BECAUSE HE DECIDED NOT TO FIGHT YOU AND SAVED YOUR LIFE! IF HE HAD FOUGHT YOU, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD! HE WOULD BE THE WINNER!” she continues and I lower my head dizzy unable to reply or react.

The pain is just too much and I can’t take it anymore. All these years I was trying to forget, burry the past and continue like nothing had happened, but I can’t run away from it forever.

Lucille is… Right!

Arthur left because he wanted to save me and I was such a hypocrite that I didn’t soften. I thought I had to put my pride first and leave my love for him second.

“You challenged him to a fight till death in front of everyone for wanting to give that woman a chance, you humiliated him, you slapped him, remember? And he… He respected you, he didn’t raise his hand, he said nothing to excuse himself and just stepped back for you. He was going to win you and he knew it, he decided to be banished and leave alone like a rogue than kill you and take your place, his rightful place, but you didn’t stop, you chased him away, you almost killed him… And now, after so many years you continue to hate him and… You hate your granddaughter, an innocent soul, a piece of ours, our own blood…” she says hurt and I grit my teeth without lifting my head up.

I did all these, it’s true, but I never told her or anybody else how much it killed me and how much I hate myself. I was angry and hurt, I… I tried to hate Arthur, but I never did it, because my heart loves him, I love him, I will never stop and… I do love Hayley, I love her more than they will ever imagine.

Living for so many years and knowing you are the reason your son is suffering, is the worst torture there is and deep inside me I would prefer to die in order to make him stay here and continue his life with our family.

“What’s her name? Tell me only this… I am sure you know it!” she whispers with trembling voice and I shake my head in despair fighting not to cry in front of them.

She deserves to know, I can’t deny telling her, she needs to know.

“Hayley…” I mutter under my breath and she brings in front of me a dirty bandage the next second.

“I saw through your deer’s eyes, and hers… She helped her deer, she felt everything, she passed the test, but it doesn’t matter for you, right?” she says and I open my eyes widely stumbling.

My wolf starts howling in pain and despair for her and I lose my breath. My pain exceeds every limit and few tears leave my eyes and roll down my cheeks. I can’t believe my ears or eyes, I must go and find hers and mine deer, I want to see it with my own eyes.

She did it and she has no idea, she is pure and kind, she made it alone.

“I see, Edgar. You won’t change your mind and this is the last thing I accept from you. I said nothing when I lost my son because of you, I went through the pain alone and I didn’t support him, the guilt is killing me, but I am done. You are never going to admit your mistakes and soften and I need my kids and grandkids, all of them. From now on stop counting on me and I give you a deadline to take a decision. Either you accept Hayley and Arthur, because he is going to appear, if we bring Hayley home and you know he will, or I am leaving you! I am done for good.” She states coldly and I don’t manage to reply, she turns around and rushes of the room with Preston and Zion following her.

I stumble for once more, but fortunately manage to support myself by placing my hands on a chair’s back which is close to me and my strength abandons me just like my wolf who blocks me after he curses me and I hold back a sob.

I am extremely dizzy and overwhelmed to think, I can just feel the pain and surrender to him unable to continue resisting or fighting him.

I lost everything, everyone and this is my own mistake, I chose it, I!

“You know how much I love you…” Kaden speaks up harshly.

“But I won’t take anyone’s place, grandma is right, enough.” He continues and it’s his turn to leave in hurry with Nash.

The door closes from Tanner almost immediately and we stay alone. I stay frozen like a statue waiting for any word or reaction from him and my fears get bigger, because he is my greatest weakness. When Arthur left, Tanner was few months old and I got stuck on him to ease my pain. He is the one who can convince me easier than any other to do anything he wants, it’s like he is my forth son and he has a more sensitive heart than the others.

I don’t want to lose any of my family, but Tanner and Lucille’s loss is going to be the worst hit for me, I will never bear it.

“Sit and try to breathe… You are pale and on the edges of passing out.” I listen to him saying mechanically and I don’t understand when or how he helps me sit on the chair with him kneeling right in front of me.

I dare to lift my head and eyes up to meet his and I stop caring if he sees me crying or not, I am done and tired of pretending the strong one.

More tears fall from my eyes from his disappointed, cloudy look and I hide my face in my hands ashamed of looking at him for more.

I am hurting all of them.

“Tanner, I love them, I really do.” I whisper from almost inside me and feel his hand rubbing my arm.

I don’t realize how these words leave from my lips, but I know one thing for sure, this is the truth and I will never regret loving them, despite what I have done. I am proud of my son, I wish I could be half of what he is, because Arthur never lost his kindness, unlike me. He followed his mother’s example and he won while I lost. And I adore Hayley although I have never met her, not to mention how much I admire her for helping and healing her deer even if she has no idea what her action means and how important it will be.

“Grandpa…” Tanner mutters and I lower my hands to look at him even if my vision is blurred.

“Yes?

“Think about telling them personally you love them. Bring them home!”

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Hello everyone!

This is the 15th chapter and it is full of tension with new reveals for Hayley's family and real father and Ryker extremely confused!

How do you feel about what Ryker said? What do you think about his discussion with Gabriel? What about the outcome and Ryker's condition with his mother accompanying him? How do you feel about Edgar? Also, how do you feel about Lucille and his sons and grandsons? What do you think of their fight? And last but not least, do you feel sympathy for him? What is going to happen next?

I am very curious to know your opinions and thoughts and I need to thank you for everything. I hope you liked this chapter and you love the story. Everything is getting nmore intense chapter by chapter!

Plese if you want to help me from now that is still the beginning and you are looking forward for more commend and let me know your opinion and thoughts.

I will see you again in the next chapter (unless you are reading my other books). Until then stay safe, smile and have fun!

Love you all very much,

                                      Marie!