Thorns Of The Past.

Unexpected Turn!

"Be gentle, her heart has wounds, that haven't bled yet, but they will..."

~one week later, too late in the morning, Blue River pack~

Gabriel’s pov

“Welcome home!” I say touched as I raise my hand to Ryker, who takes it after he hesitates for a moment.

He is here, but he is not alone, Becky agreed to come with him and I still can’t believe it’s true.

This is like a dream and I am excited yet nervous. I am dying and it is just the beginning, so imagine me in a while.

He just got out of his car with Becky and they came alone. I feel hurt Claire, Blaze and Evan didn’t come with them, but I understand Claire doesn’t feel comfortable and she needs time, so I try to be patient and don’t allow it to get me very sad, because the truth is it hurts me a lot to be away from her. I know she has her reasons to feel this way and avoid me, but this distance is a torture.

“Thank you…” Ryker mutters awkwardly and we end our handshake while Becky, who is behind him, wipes her tears with her eyes locked on…

Kaitlyn!

It breaks my heart to see these two crying and they haven’t hugged each other yet, they stay motionless and stare at each other in silence and nobody dares to talk or move. Kaitlyn couldn’t miss a moment like this. When I told her that Becky and Ryker are going to come here, she couldn’t wait to take the first flight, come back and start the preparations for their arrival. I absolutely understand her, her nephew came to his pack and he is going to become the next Alpha and her ‘sister’ is accompanying him, she won’t leave again and Kaitlyn won’t lose her from now on.

These two were always very close, they adored each other and they were together all the time, even I was sometimes feeling hurt, because they were leaving me aside. When Becky run away from the hospital, Kaitlyn’s heart lost a piece of it and she was never the same girl I used to know, but now they are going to be united again.

“Becks…” Kaitlyn whispers trembling and I smile, doing my best not to cry.

This is really intense, I am very happy for them, I know it was very difficult for them to lose each other and I am responsible for this, it is my fault.

“Lyn, I missed you so much!” Becky exclaims with her voice cracking in the end and they run to each other with the rest of us observing them.

They reach and hug each other and break into sobbing immediately. They murmur things, they cry and kiss and I press my lips together to maintain my composure. I am glad they are so happy and relieved, it was about time.

I take my eyes from them, because I can’t bear watching their heartbroken expressions and turn back to Ryker who is standing next to me and behind him are Becky’s family, her parents, Ellen and Chase and her brother, Brandon with his mate, Kourtney. I asked from them to be present and they couldn’t deny, they wanted it as much as I did and Bianca, Brandon and Kourtney’s daughter is not here, because she is at school with Hayley, they are going at the same and they well be here in about two hours, two trusted guards of mine are going to bring them back when they finish school.

After them I turn to look at my parents, who are already crying and they can’t decide whom to look at between Ryker and Becky and I lose my temper when I see how happy and hurt they are. They always loved Becky like their second daughter, they somehow raised her with Becky’s parents, because she was here with Kaitlyn every day and when we realized we were mates, they were extremely relieved for me and the pack. They knew what a kind and sweet soul Becky had and they could see we loved each other, but then I ruined everything and…

Damn, I don’t want to think about it, not again, not right now.

Okay, back to the topic, I wanted to continue with them and Ryker, because they just saw their grandson for the very first time, they are about to meet him, hold him, kiss him (if she wants of course) and talk to him and it is awful for me to know I am the reason they lost everything from his life till now. Things weren’t supposed to happen in this way and they are already dying for him and Claire, they want to make it up for the lost time and I know how important it is for them to earn my kids’ love. It’s not easy when you find out you have two 18 years old grandchildren and you have to get to know them from the beginning like you are completely strangers.

“I can’t believe you are back, you have no idea how hard it was for me, I was feeling guilty for not preventing you!” Kaitlyn says through her sobs after some seconds and I gain my mind back.

I turn to them again and find them calmer, they are finally breathing, wiping their tears and smiling emotionally, but they are not breaking eye contact. Their eyes are shining and it’s not from their tears, it’s from joy, their expressions make them look ever younger and I remember the good old times. Some things never change no matter how many years pass and this happens with their friendship.

“I am sorry I left that way, I didn’t know what else to do and… Forget about it, Lyn, we have time to talk for this and it was unbearable for me to walk away from you, I love you so much!” Becky replies breathless and my sister nods and kisses her again, but then both of them turn to my parents and I stiffen quite upset.

It’s their turn and I sense their need to hug Becky and Ryker and he is the reason I am so worried about. What if he doesn’t want them because they are my parents and they stood me all these years?

“Luna, Alpha… I… I am sorry for everything, I…” Becky begins, but my mother rushes and pulls Becky in her arms before she reacts or speaks again.

I am sweating and my heart is aching from her cries, my mother is my weakness and this behavior of hers is too much for me. I don’t know how to deal with it and control my pain, put him into logical limits and act like I am not affected at all.

“I am so grateful you are back, sweetheart. Don’t apologize, not to us or anyone else, nobody can blame you and… Look what you managed to do on your own!” she says as her cries turn into sobs and the three of them look at Ryker who seems to have softened.

His eyes are brighter, he is not serious like he was with me and he can’t stop looking at Kaitlyn and my mother. I have the feeling he wants them and there is no biggest blessing, because nothing was their fault and they never approved what I did, they didn’t want Michelle, they were blaming me and they didn’t leave me for the pack and next for Hayley.

“This is Ryker, your grandson. I know Garbriel told you, and Claire says she is sorry she couldn’t come, but she is looking forward to meet you whenever you want to.” Becky speaks up and gives Ryker and my mom a quick gaze, but in the end lands her eyes on me like she wants me to talk.

Well, it’s not as easy as she thinks is it and the worst thing is that I can tell her nothing, I am scared of even opening my mouth to protest and do you know why?

Because the last thing I want is Becky mad at me. She gets the s**t out of me and also, I want to prove I am not such a jerk and I have regretted everything, I love her and I would really like to have a chance.

I take a deep breath and clear my throat to gain everyone’s attention and when I am sure I have it, I look at Ryker and force a nervous, but warm smile. It is very ‘scary’ how much we look alike, we are the same and it is very intense for me to look at him, because it’s like I look at own self, but at the same time I am very proud of my son and my daughters, I have amazing kids and I didn’t truly deserve it.

“This is your grandmother, my mother, Ruth.” I begin, doing my best to sound calm and then turn to Kaitlyn who hasn’t stopped staring at him.

“And your aunt, my one and only sister, Kaitlyn.” I continue and in the end come the hardest part of all, because it is my father’s turn and I don’t feel I am strong enough to do this.

I sense how scared and touched he is and it’s the first time he can’t hide it. I have never seen him like this and I am not used to this, it is affecting me more than I had ever imagined and I am responsible for this mess, I wish I could disappear right here and now.

“And… Your grandpa, the previous Alpha, Jack.” I manage to say with a weak, trembling voice and put great efforts not to fall on my knees while my wolf perks his ears in agony.

I am dying today, I have lost the last drop of strength and courage I had and right now I have nothing, only hope, but even she faints when some seconds pass in silence and nothing happens.

This peace is horrifying, because it is always calm before the storm and I am almost sure the outcome won’t be as pleasing as I wished. I am stupid for thinking that Ryker is going to ‘like’ them or open up to them immediately, but I hoped he wouldn’t behave to them in the same way he behaves me.

“Um… It’s nice to meet you and… I am sorry, I don’t know what to say, but I mean it, I am happy I am here with you.” Ryker states, catching me and all the others off guard and I have no idea how I don’t stumble.

Did he just say he is happy? Really?

I lose my breath when I see his eyes getting wet and I exhale overwhelmed. My body’s muscles relax, my heart starts beating slower than before and my wolf purrs proudly of his pup.

Pup… He is not a pup anymore, he is a great grown up young man, although he is going to be his pup forever and we missed everything from his childhood. I would give everything to turn back time and make things right, I swear. Losing him and Claire is one of the worst kinds of pain, but if things were differently, I wouldn’t have Hayley and I feel torn, I don’t want to choose, these three are the same for me. They are my kids and I wasn’t next to them, I hurt them in different ways, but I love them and I will never leave them alone again.

“You can’t imagine how lucky and blessed we feel for having you and your sister, welcome Ryker. Thank you for coming to us, it means everything!” my mother whispers still crying and takes a timid step to him and me.

I don’t quite understand what is happening, cause I am lost, but I know she wants to hug him and Ryker seems to understand her need, as he walks to her in hurry, opens his arms for her and he buries herself in his embrace. Something inside me changes, the pain faints and some tears built up on my eyes.

This is one of the best moments of my life, because it means a new beginning and Ryker proves how mature he is. It gives me hope to see him so warm and comfortable with them and it doesn’t take Kaitlyn too long to join his hug with my mother.

I give Becky a short, discreet look, feel my pale cheeks blushing and my heart skips a beat when I catch her already looking at me. My cold skin starts burning and shivering, while she forces a weak, emotional smile and wipes her new tears.

I am dying to hug her, but I can’t for many reasons… Ryker is going to kill me, if she doesn’t make it first, her brother is going to attack me, everyone else is going to get upset and I don’t blame them, so I have to accept and respect it.

“I can’t believe you are a copy of Gabriel. Look at you! You are just like him when he was at your age.” Kaitlyn exclaims after she has kissed him more than twenty times with him laughing and never leaving her and my mother out of his hold and I bite my lower lip with a proud smirk.

Well, yes, I am very proud he looks like me as for the appearance, but I am even prouder he is not as reckless as I was when I was young like him. Becky did a great job with him and Claire and I know he is going to be much better than I used to be. I desperately hope he doesn’t have so many similarities with me as for his personality.

“Yes, I though the exact same thing when I saw him for the first time, Kaitlyn.” Helen says with a soft smile and Becky blushes awkwardly.

I wasn’t expecting from her to blush to be honest, I would have found it more logical, if she had already attacked me, although it is not only my fault he looks like me and I can’t control Lyn or anyone else from commenting.

My conclusion is that this woman of ‘mine’ (don’t bite me, we are mates, well at least this is what I want) wants to blow my mind.

“And Claire looks like mom, fortunately…” Ryker states with meaning and we all freeze for a while.

And I was wondering what has happened and he has ‘no’ problem with me, I guess I rushed to reach to conclusions. His bitterness for me is still here, I should have known better that Ryker won’t change his mind about me no matter what.

“Um… Father, won’t you welcome your grandson?” Kaitlyn breaks the silence, feeling the intense atmosphere and I snap my hand to my father to find him gasping overwhelmed.

I exhale in frustration and observe his transformed face features. His eyes are red, he has already wiped his tears, his jaw is clenching, his face muscles are tightened and his lips are trembling. He is fighting not to cry and my eyes tingle from fresh, hot tears.

I turn to Ryker, who has locked his gaze on my father and he is not moving and things get worse. He seems to be in pain, this is what I sense from his hurt expression and with the corner of my eye I see Becky tapping his back and murmuring something.

“Jack…” my mother whispers emotionally and gives my father a soft encouraging smile.

And she manages to make him move, although his footsteps are very slow. He approaches Ryker and stops right in front of him. My heart is throbbing in my chest and the time stops for some seconds until my father extends his hand to Ryker, who seems nervous.

“Welcome to your real home, my child! I… Thank you for accepting to come and you have no idea how happy you make me feel, I am sorry for everything that happened.” He says, running out of air and tries to take a deep, desperate breath.

I bite my lower lip in agony and wait for Ryker to take my father’s hand, but it never happens, because Ryker opens his arms for him and my father falls in them to start sobbing the next moment.

“Finally!” my wolf screams ecstatic and I nod immediately.

“I am glad I am here, as you said this is my home after all and please don’t apologize to me, you did nothing wrong. We are perfect, yes?” Ryker whispers in not such a low tone and my father nods and kisses his forehead.

These two already adore each other, they won’t have any problem and maybe I will leave once Ryker becomes the Alpha after me. They don’t want me, so it would be better for me to leave the pack and help them find their happiness.

Ryker is here and nobody is going to miss me, my time comes to its end and I feel tired, my heart can’t take more, I can’t stay here when my family (except Hayley and Kaitlyn) does not want me and my wolf is right…

Finally, it’s almost over, they won’t have to bear me, I am leaving soon.

~about two hours later, pack house~

Ryker’s pov

“And this is my office. It is going to be yours when you take my place, but you can use it from now any time you want. I will give you the second keys.” Gabriel says and opens the door for the luxury office.

He motions for me to get in and I do it after I hesitate for a second. I have to admit I like it and I won’t change anything, it has dark colors, mostly black, but it is simple and I like the huge library behind the desk.

He walks inside after me and the door closes almost immediately. We are officially alone, although we have nobody with us almost the last one hour. He showed me everything in the house, he explained the program everyone has and I have to confess I am very surprised. I wasn’t expecting to find the pack so well organized and the way he and the pack welcomed my mother and I is impressive, but I guess I have to take things one by one.

First of all, Gabriel took me, my mother and the others to meet the pack and welcome us officially in front of everyone. The entire pack was gathered to the back side of the pack house with the Betas, Gammas and Deltas waiting to greet me in person and then Gabriel made a speech.

He introduced me, the pack already knew who I am and why I am here and he announced I am the next Alpha and my word has the same power with his. He asked from the pack to respect and treat me the same way with him, help me adapt, come to meet me gradually and I was shocked when the crowd bowed to me and began to cheer.

They made me feel like I am finally back to my real home and my wolf feels the bond even more than I do. He is restless in my mind, he keeps on howling, he has definitely lost his mind and the weird thing is that there is something more that has triggered him, but I don’t know what. It’s the first time he is behaving this way and his joy and pride don’t explain it.

Anyway, moreover, Gabriel talked about my mother separately and I don’t understand why I didn’t punch him. Don’t blame me, the man was talking like he is crazy in love, he made her a Goddess and explained what a remarkable woman she is and that her word counts like the Luna’s. Well…

He wants to blow my mind and everyone else’s, I can’t find any other reason for him to do such a thing. Fine, I surrender, he has a reason, he says he wants her back and he needs us to become a real family. Also, I am the next Alpha, the rightful one and my mother was his real mate, so she is the Luna unofficially, because I don’t have a mate yet and Gabriel is still the Alpha, the slut left and my mom has her title back after many years.

And now that I mentioned her, I can’t stop myself from saying she blushed with Gabriel words, but didn’t soften as for her behavior to him, she keeps him in distance and I am glad she still hates him, but she was charmed from this act of his and I admit it was a smart and right move from him. He proves he respects her even if it’s too late and I am happy she takes what she deserves even now.

After we were introduced, Gabriel dismissed everyone and I met the Betas, Gammas and Deltas. My mother already knew most of them, but she didn’t know their kids and I need to comment about them, because they are part of the general family and very important members, not to mention I will cooperate with some of them.

The first I met were the currents Betas, Declan and Jenna with their son, Max. I really liked them and I got excited when my mother told me that Jenna was a very good friend of hers. They used to spend time together with aunt Kaitlyn and the same thing is happening with Gabriel and Declan, although Declan is awesome and very logical. I already trust them and I feel comfortable with them, but their son, Max, who is going to become my Beta the same night I take the title, is definitely something else. This young man has many similar preferences with me, he is serious, but he never loses his humor and I would dare to say we are going to be best friends.

After them I met the Gamma, Joel and his daughter, my next Gamma, Nia and although I liked Joel, I am afraid I can’t say the same thing for Nia and I don’t know exactly why. I just sensed something dark coming from her, what I felt was displeasing and it is weird, because she was very kind, warm and she couldn’t stop smiling. I think I have to wait, before I take my final decision as to if I like her or not, the only thing for sure is that I have to stand her as my Gamma.

Next came the Deltas with their son and I also liked them. They were very calm and open to talk and ask things about me and their son is still young, as he is only 14 years old and he won’t take his father’s place any time soon.

In the end and after all these, Gabriel asked from me to follow him in order to show me everything in the pack house, because my mother already knows every single corner of it and I couldn’t deny. So, we left just the two of us and all the others went to the main living room to wait for us to go back and also greet my cousin, Bianca and ‘Miss’ Hayley who are going to come from their school from minute to minute.

I honestly don’t know how I am going to stay under the same roof with that w***e’s daughter and what makes things worse is that her room is right opposite of mine. This means I will have to smell and listen to her all the time, see her very often and be around her more than I can stand.

This is going to be my worst nightmare, how am I suppose to share my house with her when I want to kill her mother and everyone else related to her?

I wish I could throw her out of the house and the pack, but I can’t, because Gabriel won’t allow it and as I heard my grandparents and aunt love her, they raised her and I don’t want to hurt them and before you accuse me, let me explain why I feel this way.

I hate Michelle till death for the well known reasons and I hate everything and everyone that has to do with her and I think I would be softer with Hayley, if she was Gabriel’s daughter, because she would be my sister, my blood, but now I can’t. She is a complete stranger to me, we are no relatives and the fact that Gabriel kept her, but never wanted her is making me more disgusted with both of them. He had no reason to adopt her and keep her here, he had to leave her to an orphanage or something. She is just troubles and more costs and he never loved her, so she…

“Have a seat, did you like the house? You can make any changes you want to.” Gabriel says, bringing me back to reality and I turn to him breathless.

He is standing next to me in the middle of the room and points the two seats in front of his desk, he looks worried or troubled and I am sure it has to do with my dark, annoyed expression.

It takes me some seconds to gain my thoughts back, put them in a queue and clear my throat and all this time we don’t break our eye contact. I feel weird, something has been changing from the day I decided to come here and today the feeling is stronger than any other day, but it’s logical, my life is changing forever.

“Everything is fine, there is no reason for me to change anything.” I mutter in hurry and he shakes his head in understanding with a nervous expression.

I am not convincing I guess…

“Alright then, sit, we can discuss anything you want until the girls arrive.” He says and points the seats again while he passes me and heads to his chair behind the office.

I groan in agreement and walk to the right seat, I don’t look at him and my mind goes to my new family and when I say new, I mean my aunt, Kaitlyn and my grandparents, Helen and Jack. I had time to think about my mother’s family, but I didn’t have time to think about Gabriel’s.

I can say for sure (and not regret it or feel guilty) that I loved them from the first moment I landed my eyes on them. The bond took shape immediately, the pull was so strong that I couldn’t hold back and be typical and I am looking forward to spend time with them and get to know them better. I am sure Claire is going to ‘fall in love’ with them as well, they are amazing and imagine I am saying this, so it is something impressing.

Aunt Kaitlyn is just like my mother had described her. She is sweet, open hearted, clever, full of energy, polite and expressive. She doesn’t hide how she feels or what she thinks, she is generous and very mature. I think she is awesome and we are going to have a great time together and I really want to meet my uncle and my other two cousins, she told me they are planning to visit us soon.

Also, my grandma reminds me of my mother and my other grandma, Helen. She has a royal, charming behavior, she was a fantastic Luna and she is still every pack member’s weakness, they are all running to her when they need help and she is always willing to support them in any way there is.

And last, but not least we have Alpha Jack Jones, my grandpa, a strong yet sensitive man with manners, understanding, patience and generosity. I have no doubt we are going to have a great relationship and I want to make him proud of me. His opinion matters me very much, I know what a fair and powerful Alpha he was and I don’t want to disappoint him. I want to know everything about him, work by his side and hear his advices, because I don’t want to change the pack’s habits, as Gabriel has the same philosophy with him and the pack is used to a specific way of living.

I take my seat right opposite of Gabriel who is already sitting on his and I avoid his gaze for a reason I don’t completely understand. As I said before, I feel the bond with the pack and everyone and the same goes for our private bond. I also admire him, because I must be fair, the pack has never complained for anything except from the whole thing with my mother and Michelle. He dedicated his life to them, he not only kept the pack strong, but he made it stronger and larger, wealthier and more respectful and he is an Alpha with kindness, he likes giving to everyone the most he can and I can’t be unfair to him as for these.

That’s why I feel nervous and I want to do my best and be at least as good as he is, anything else is going to be a disaster and I won’t bear failing.

I exhale harshly and open my mouth to speak, this deadly silence makes me feel more vulnerable to our bond and I hate it, but I get paralyzed and my mind gets blank when my gaze stops on three photos at the library behind him.

It’s…

Claire, I and another girl I don’t know, but she is gorgeous, her smile makes my heart hovel in my chest and my skin turns hot. Her eyes have the rarest colors’ combination I have ever seen, they are piercing and full of mixed and opposite emotions.

They reveal joy and pain, peace and war, shyness and bravery, relief and despair, strength and weakness, affection, love and purity.

I would say I could easily fall in love with her eyes, smile and face, she has something and there is no shade, no cloud in her eyes.

Fuck my life, what is happening? Does she really exist and why my wolf has gotten crazy?

“What the…” I mutter breathless, raise my hand pointing the photos and Gabriel turns to them, then back to me and gives me a hurt, melancholic smile, but I feel nothing.

I am dizzy, I can’t talk or move, my brain has shut down and all I can think is this girl, seriously, she looks like an angel.

“My kids… The three of them. Claire, Ryker and Hayley!” Gabriel states with trembling, unstable voice and my heart flaws from…

Disappointment and anger!

Hayley? This is Hayley?! Why?

I mean… Damn!

“Are you alright? What is happening?” he asks me worried, watching my shocked, broken look and I shake my head confused.

Focus Ryker! What has gotten in you? What do you care about her and how she looks like?

“Why our photos? Where did you find them?” I ask in a desperate try to find my old, strong self back and he bites his lower lip hurt.

“I asked them from Evan, he had some and he gave me one for each of you. And I think it is difficult for you to believe I am happy and proud I have three kids, but this is the truth and the reason I have the photos in my office.” He replies with his chest going up and down, although he is not breathing and I narrow my eyes more troubled and overwhelmed than ever.

Hayley’s photo and his words are upsetting me, I wasn’t prepared and I feel hurt for an unknown reason, this is…

“But we learnt you hate Hayley.” I whisper instinctually and his eyes shine from tears that build up.

Tell me I am dreaming! Is he showing emotions? WHY?

“Ryker, I have done a terrible and unforgivable mistake with you mother and I regret it every day and night from the moment she run away, I lost everything from your life, I lost your mother who was, is and will be the only true one for me, but… I did another mistake with Hayley and I was blind for years, I loved her, but I wanted to convince myself I hated her for what Michelle had done. Things became clear to me when I met your mother and you, I know it took me too many years, but at least it happened and I have one more thing to regret.” He says with efforts, as he tries not to cry and I narrow my eyes unable to believe my ears.

I didn’t see it coming and I don’t know how to feel about it. I thought I would feel no sympathy for him at all, but now I find it hard not to.

“I told Hayley I love her, I asked from her to forgive me and give me a second chance and she accepted… I lost more than 16 years from her life and more than 18 from Claire’s and yours and I don’t want to lose more. I wish you and Claire could think about it and I would love to have a chance to prove I am sorry and I really love you, but it’s up to you and I demand nothing, I don’t have this right, I am a stranger to you, I understand…” he continues and I blink my eyes shocked, turn my head to the right and my eyes fall on another photo, my mother’s.

He has it on a small table which touches the wall and there is a vase with a white roses’ bouquet. The photo is recent, I think it is from her birthday last year and I instantly know how this photo came in his hands.

Uncle Evan…

“I can’t understand you… Seriously.” Whisper through my teeth not angry, but lost and turn to him to see him wiping the first tears.

It takes me great efforts to realize that Gabriel Jones, the strong Alpha is crying in front of me and admits his mistakes, asks for forgiveness and a second chance and confesses how he feels. This is a dream, but I can’t decide if it’s a good or a bad and terrifying one.

“It’s alright, I understand and I am happy you are not reckless as I used to be when I was almost at your age. I admire you, Ryker and I have no doubt you won’t do the same mistakes I did, you are very mature.” He says as he stiffens on his seat and lowers his head.

I have no words left, I mean… The well known Ryker, the one who hates Gabriel, would be mad at him for these words of his, because it’s obvious we are not the same and I won’t do what he did, but right now there is another part of me which feels sorry.

He is still surprising me.

I try to open my mouth to speak again, but my voice can’t come out, I don’t even understand how I move my lips, my body feels sore, it’s pointless to think, because I can’t.

“Um… The girls are here.” Gabriel announces suddenly and stands up, fixing his shirt’s collar with his head still bended and I groan in frustration.

Just what I f*****g needed and he is too fast.

“Let’s go, you have to meet your cousin and Hayley!”

~at the same time, pack house, living room~

Hayley’s pov

“And this is Hayley!” my aunt says with her warm, full of adoration smile and wraps one arm around me.

I can’t stop trembling and I try to avoid Luna Rebecca’s gaze, but it is pointless.

I am standing right in front of her in the middle of the room and all the others are around us, my grandparents, Mister Chase with Miss Helen, Brandon and Kourtney with Bianca, the Betas with Max, Joel with Nia and the Deltas with their son. I was always feeling nervous and scared and not because Luna Rebecca is mean, but because of what Michelle did to her.

My aunt told me she is very kind and fair and she won’t accuse me for anything, but I am what is left from Michelle and I feel awful and guilty. I am ashamed, I don’t know how I am standing on my feet and I haven’t passed out or run away, but I am glad I make it and not for me, but for my father, I know how important it is for him and I don’t want to make things more difficult than they already are.

It is my turn to meet her, Bianca was first, as she is her niece and now it’s mine and everything is spinning around me from nervousness and weakness, not to add that I am exhausted, as I didn’t sleep last night for two reasons.

The first one is that I was thinking of this day all the time and I ended up walking up and down in my room. I was scared and worried, my dad wasn’t in better condition and I couldn’t calm down and I was sensing him suffering that much. We were happy and excited from the day Ryker announced he would come with Luna Rebecca, but this doesn’t mean we weren’t worried as well. Last night it was the peak of this overflow and today I could say it’s not any better, it is worse and imagine I haven’t met Ryker yet.

The second and last reason is that last day I was seriously cut across my right ribs for one of the few times all these years from the school’s three biggest bullies and the pain was almost unbearable and I couldn’t lie down. The cut is deep and long, it is more serious than the previous times and Haven can’t heal it anymore, the last one week I do not eat and I take some small bites only in front of my father in order not to worry him and this is happening because of what happened in the forest. From that moment something has immersed me in thoughts, I am terrified and in mood of nothing and for this reason I have no energy left and so does Haven.

The wound has bled about five times in less than 24 hours and I keep on checking it all the time to make sure I will stop any possible bleeding before it’s too late, the scent too strong and my secret gets revealed. I can’t even breathe and it was the last thing I wanted to happen now with the next Alpha and his mother’s (rightful Luna’s) arrival.

I looked myself through the mirror before I leave from school (to check the cut at the toilets like always) and I got scared of my appearance, not that I’ve ever liked it and it was good, but today I look worse than ever. I am extremely pale, almost white like a sheet, my eyes are not shining and they have dark circles around them, my hair is a mess, my clothes for once more are the old black I used to wear, although I have new and colorful now and I am trembling because I am cold.

I am a ghost and not the usual, stupid, ugly, fat Hayley, I’m more pathetic.

My aunt rubs my arm, brining me back to present and I force the slightest, shy smile there is as I extend my shaky hand to Luna Rebecca. I wanted to bow, but my aunt is not allowing me to, this is why she hugged me.

Luna Rebecca is a gorgeous woman and looks much younger than 35 years old. Her dark blonde long hair is shining and perfectly stylish, her quite pale skin is smooth like silk and looks healthy, her honey eyes are warm and full of purity and her dark blue dress is elegant and classy. She is even prettier from the photos my dad had shown me and her body is magnificent.

“Luna, it’s…” I begin to say almost from inside me, but she lifts her hand up in a firm way and I freeze panicked.

I am the stupidest person there is, but what did I do wrong now?

I thought I…

“Hayley, it is just Becky for you. I have heard so many things about you and I am very excited I meet you!” she says enthusiastic and I am being pulled in her arms before I realize it.

I hold back a painful cry as she presses me right on the cut across my ribs, but I smile emotional from her sweet and polite behavior. I couldn’t have dreamed of a better first meeting with her and my aunt’s words come in my mind again: “Becky would never judge you for coming in this world from Michelle, you have nothing to do with your biological mother and she is going to understand it from the first moment, trust her!”

“It is mutual, I’m very happy you are here, it’s nice to meet you.” I whisper still shocked and she taps my back, pulls a little bit backwards, gives me a soft, inquisitive look and caresses my cheeks.

“You are beautiful, these eyes of yours are like rare emeralds!” she exclaims and I feel my cheeks blushing, my skin takes fire, but…

Everything faints when a delicious chocolate’s scent hits my nose, fill my lungs, sends chills all over my body and Haven starts screaming like a maniac.

I snap my head instinctually to the direction from which the scent is coming from and then noise of loud, fast footsteps sounds. It’s from the stairs and my eyes open widely when a man, who looks just like my father at his younger age, appears with my father right behind like he is chasing him.

He stops almost violently and stumbles when his stormy, dark brown eyes meet mine and my knees get cut, just like my breath.

He is dressed in a formal pair of black trousers and a white shirt with its sleeves are forded on his elbows. His chocolate brown hair was stylish, but now it’s quite messy, his strong body is standing tall and motionless, his cheeks are turning red, his board chest is going up and down and his expression is a terrified yet amused one.

He is… Ryker?!

My…

“MATE!” we both say in union and many gasps and screams of surprise sound immediately.

I stumble as well, but two pairs of hands hold me and prevent me from falling, my skin shivers under his piercing, intense gaze, my heart jumps in my chest making it impossible for me to breathe or think and Haven howls nonstop, she is asking for her mate and the time stops for a while, but…

Everything comes upside down when Ryker’s expression turns to a furious, disgusted one, his eyes darken dangerously in a moment, his jaw begins to clench and the veins on his neck pop out. I smell his anger, he is fuming, his fists are shaking uncontrollably, my heart stops from honor and he rushes to me catching all of us unprepared.

“YOU!” he roars and I jump pack petrified.

“YOU ARE NOT MY MATE, THERE IS NO WAY I ACCEPT YOU!” he continues in an even louder tone and reaches some inches from us.

He gets ready to attack me, at least this is what I think and I close my eyes as I grit my teeth at the same time, preparing myself to stand it, but instead of a slap, punch or bite I am pulled in a muscular pair of arms, my face hits on a hard chest and screams and noises follow.

I don’t understand what is happening, I hear nothing, feel nothing, smell nothing and I open my eyes with my body shaking to find myself in my grandpa’s arms, my aunt and Becky standing in front of me and my father with Brandon and Declan pulling Ryker backwards and away from me.

It is the first time I see so much hatred and rage in someone’s eyes, his face has transformed completely, there is nothing to remind of the beautiful man I saw some seconds ago and the strength with which he is fighting to reach me leaves me no doubt of how much he hates me.

He wants me dead!

“I AM GOING TO REJECT YOU! I…” I manage to listen to him roaring and Haven’s screams get out of control, they are echoing.

“ENOUGH, RYKER!” Becky shouts imposingly and he screams.

“NO, I…”

“TAKE HIM OUT!” she cuts him off louder than him and the men struggle to pull him out of the room.

He fights back furiously, screams, warns me and swears his is going to reject me and I do nothing, I stay frozen in my grandpa’s arms and the first tears make their appearance and roll down my eyes.

Except from Haven’s screams I hear murmurs, sobs and deep breaths and then nothing.

Everything stops and I explode abruptly, just like my flown heart.

I fight to set free from my the arms of grandpa who is unprepared and loses our sudden battle almost immediately and then I rush to the stairs and start running up, heading to my room.

Many call my name, but nobody follows me, I cry one step away from sobbing, my body has almost betrayed me, but surprisingly it doesn’t stop yet, my instinct guides me and I don’t realize when I set my feet on the top floor.

I turn on my right and storm to my room, but not the new one, right now I need to be in my old room in the end of the corridor and the closer I get, the more difficult it is for me to continue with my footsteps heavy and slow. Haven’s roars and cries get so loud that I want to scream and when I reach the room’s door, I break into it like crazy, bang the door behind me with so much power that almost break it and lock in hurry.

I take a step forward, gasping for air and fall on my knees immediately. All these desperate and sore, blur feelings get clear gradually and pain takes the lead of my body and soul.

I knew it, I was sure, Michelle’s dirt is never going to leave me, I won’t find love, I deserve nothing, my mate…

He doesn’t want me!

I break into sobbing and bring my hands on my lips in order to be silent and close my eyes. I feel pain and nothing else, I can’t truly distinguish what hurts me the most and soon every cell of my body turns cold, although it was burning till now.

I feel like I am being pushed backwards, something from deep inside me fights to come to the surface and I fold in two from pain, open my eyes and my hands fall weakly on the cool floor, but they are red and then I realize it…

Blood!

My nose and mouth are bleeding, but they aren’t only these that bleed, it’s my cut that bleeds as well and I can’t taste or smell the blood anymore. I hold back a cry and force myself to stand up and run to the bathroom, but my body is not obeying, it has surrendered and I fall on the floor completely when a pain strikes my head and Haven’s screams exceed every limit.

An inner power tries to get in lead of me and I have no courage to protest, I am done…

My body trembles so intensively that ends up having spasms, my heart burns, my skin freezes and my eyelashes get heavy. The pain never faints, it increases every single second, I run out of oxygen, my vision gets blurred and the only sense I have is my hearing, because I can’t stop listening to Haven and this is the last thing I remember because…

Once my eyes close, they don’t open again, the time stops.

************************

Hello everyone!

This is the 16th chapter, the longer one till now and it is full of tension and... Pain!

I really need to know your opinion about it, did you expect this turn?

How do you feel about what Gabriel said at the beginning? What do you think about the first meeting between Ryker, his grandparents and the pacl? What about the discussion Ryker had with Gabriel? How do you feel about Hayley and Becky? Also, how do you feel about Ryker's behavior? And last but not least, what about Hayley? What is going to happen next?

I am very curious to know your opinions and thoughts and I need to thank you for everything. I hope you liked this chapter and you love the story. Everything is getting nmore intense chapter by chapter!

Plese if you want to help me, you like the book and you are looking forward for more commend and let me know your opinion and thoughts.

I will see you again in the next chapter (unless you are reading my other books). Until then stay safe, smile and have fun!

Love you all very much,

                        Marie!