Thorns Of The Past.

Purity, Humility, Virtue.

One of the many things deer symbolize is purity of heart and this is true beauty, don't lose it...

~about six days later, noon, school~

Hayley’s pov

I walk out of the school in hurry and look around me only for one time to make sure I am alone.

For once more I stayed back to get sure my new wounds and cuts are not bleeding and get rid of the blood’s scent. Some things are never going to change and one of these is the abuse I am getting from my bullies-abusers at school. I have accepted it, I mean I am used to it now and I know how to deal with it, although the pain is unbearable most of the times.

So, today two of my bullies found me alone in the class after the bell had rang for break and the routine things took place was the usual one. They came to me, insulted me, I didn’t react and tried to leave, but they stopped me and the first of them grabbed me from my hair, immobilized me and the second one kicked me on my stomach and my ribs and I was ‘lucky’ they got bored and left right after that. No new wounds and cuts for me (I already have from the previous four days, as today is Friday), but more bruises and unfortunately the big bruise on my stomach, which was almost gone, has turned darker again and it hurts, so I won’t get rid of her any time soon as I hoped.

Anyway, it’s fine I guess…

I am happy I am alone and nobody is waiting for me to give me one more ‘lesson’, it is Friday and nobody wants to stay and lose his time. This means I can go back to the pack by foot, again.

Today I won’t have to worry about my father, grandparents or my aunt’s reactions, if I get late, because none of them is home for completely different reasons.

And I think I have to take things slowly, right?

Alright, first of all I am going to begin with the fact that the last six days I have a phone, a new room, clothes and everything else I never had before. I was protesting for hours last Saturday, but my dad and aunt weren’t really listening to me and bought me everything. I still feel awful, but when I see my dad so happy, I immediately feel much better, his joy and pride erases my guilt and the least I can do is being grateful for everything he is offering me, although I never asks for a thing.

My new room is right next to his, it’s enormous and he and my aunt helped me to choose furniture and decorate it. The truth is I kept it very simple, but I find it elegant and exactly what I prefer. I wanted only the necessary, so I have a massive king size bed (yeap, my dad insisted) and it is black with ceiling, I also have two bedside tables, a big desk with a new computer (I never had a computer before, I was using my grandpa’s for my homework), an unbelievably comfortable chair and a couch with a small table. The walls’ colors are white and light grey and the windows are enormous and tall, I love them. The couch has a very mesmerizing dark, green color and the same go for the blanket on my bed, the pillows (there are many) on the bed are grey, black and white and the curtains with the carpet are white as well with some discreet silver designs.

I also have a dressing room with big, black wardrobes, a makeup toilet although I know nothing about makeup, a massive mirror and too many chests of drawers. My aunt took care of it personally, because I had no idea about it and she bought me tones of things I have to learn how to use. I mean, I have never done any makeup, I don’t know any product’s use and the clothes she bought have nothing to do with those I’m used to wear all these years. I have to admit she respected my wish for no revealing clothes, as I don’t want my bruises, cuts and wounds to be visible and she understood nothing, because I told her I just don’t feel comfortable with my body cause I am fat (and then she and my dad scolded me enough for the next twenty years, they don’t believe I am fat, but beautifully curvy), but the colors are generally bright and I find them strange on me.

And as I mentioned above I have a phone now and I don’t even use it, but my dad asked from me to have it always with me in order to be able to find me any time and I can’t do otherwise, I don’t want him to worry, he has already too many things in mind. I can’t lie, it helps to have a phone, because on Wednesday I got late again and I missed the bus, so I called to inform him I would be late and my grandpa came to take me, because my dad was too busy with the pack’s companies and couldn’t come. I didn’t asked from him to send anyone, I just wanted to let him know, but he didn’t accept to let me walk.

I told you above that today I am free to walk back to the pack, because he and the others are missing, so I have to explain you what is happening and then I am going to tell you how things are going for us this almost one week.

First of all, my aunt had to go back to her pack for some days and she left last night. My uncle and cousins needed her, they had missed her and she wanted to go and spend some days with them before she comes back again, because if things take a positive turn today, we will need her here.

Next come my grandparents who went to my grandma’s sister this morning and they are going to stay there for two days and come back on Sunday. You see, my grandpa was trying to avoid my dad all these days after their mini ‘fight’ and my grandma decided to help both of them and give them some space and time away from each other.

At this point I really want to comment that neither of them seemed to be angry after that incident. I think that both of them are just hurt for different reasons and from the discussions I had with them and my aunt and grandma, I came to the conclusion that they miss each other very much and they want to break the ice, but they hesitate for their own reasons.

My grandpa, for example, is hurt not so much for what my father did and for missing everything from Claire and Ryker’s life, but for the way he talked to him and what he said to him. I personally believe that a part of him knows my dad has already paid the prize of his actions, he was living a hell for years and he is truly trying to do the right things from now on, so he has softened as for that. I guess that right now he feels sorry for the way he saw my dad and my dad’s statement that he could leave the pack forever, if Ryker would come to take his title.

They had their problems for everything my dad did, but nobody can doubt the good inside him, even my aunt and grandma are convinced he is turning to the young man he used to be and my grandpa is too logical, so he certainly is hurt and regrets the ‘fight’ they had. He misses his son and his son misses him, they need each other.

My dad told me that when he was young (before what happened), he and my grandpa were one, their relationship was more than perfect and nobody could get between them, they were spending hours together, they were too proud of each other. Both of them need to get close again and I hate watching them so broken.

My father is a wreck, but he tries to hide it in front of my grandpa, he doesn’t want to ‘hurt’ him, I am sure he feels how much he regrets his words, but he believes he was right. He wants to take the blame again for everything and he confessed to me that he is really thinking about leaving, if Ryker accepts to come.

He wants to leave away and make my grandpa, Ryker and Claire happy, this is what he told me, but I don’t believe they are going to be pleased, at least for too long. In my opinion my grandpa is never going to be happy again, if he loses his son, because he knows he has a good heart and he never wanted to hurt anyone. My dad is still trying to understand how he marked Michelle, how he made her his Luna and how he was standing her, he can’t even figure out how he couldn’t remember/ feel when she cheated on him with my biological father, so what if something is wrong here?

From what I know Michelle was always an arrogant, cold woman, a ‘witch’, she was using everyone and maybe she had aces in her sleeves. This is something I’m thinking about, but I am telling nobody, I don’t want to make things worse and more intense for my family.

God…

I can’t believe how crazy and evil someone can be!

She can’t be my ‘mother’, I feel so ashamed and I understand everyone for hating me that much! Michelle’s fame is the worst and I pay the prize for having the same blood with her, this is the reason I am being abused at school and at the pack (although nobody has touched me since Nia helped me few days ago).

I hate this woman and I hate myself for the blood that is running in my veins, I feel so damn dirty from her actions and I can certainly say that my biological father has to be like her. I mean, he can’t be better, right?

“You don’t know that… Look at Gabriel! She surely did something dirty to accomplish all these and you just admitted you have suspicions. Our father could have been tricked or used as well!” Haven says annoyed yet frustrated and I roll my eyes growling.

Typical, hypocritical Haven!

She appeared out of nowhere for once more, she read my thoughts, she decided to interfere and say her stupid, useless opinion and play with me and my nerves…

I get inside the forest, leaving the road in the middle of the woods and take the decision to ignore her completely. I honestly have nothing to talk to her about, almost one week and I haven’t told her a single word, I am not planning to do it now.

She doesn’t like to be ignored, this is something I know for sure about her and I am going to use it against her from now on. She loves hurting me, so I will do the exact same thing and it is weird that I don’t feel bad at all about it. One week ago I would have found it difficult not to reply to her, but something has changed inside me and I find myself more confident as for our problematic ‘relationship’ and the possibility of me staying alone forever without her by my side.

I don’t know why I am not afraid, probably I feel this way because she hates me and she never tries to help me even a little bit. She is my enemy, this is how she has been treating me and losing her is going to be a relief for me.

Even my dad knows about her, but I haven’t told him about the part I am being abused and she laughs at me, curses and even blames me for everything. I explained to him that she doesn’t want me for Michelle, my weight and who I am and I feel guilty I made this mistake, because I hurt him, he was about to cry and I want to help him feel better and not worse.

At this point I guess I can tell you about him, me, us…

Firstly, I forgot to tell you where he is this moment and why I am free to walk back to the pack by foot. The reason he is not home is because he went to his fried’s pack, Alpha Evan’s. The day has come for him to take Ryker’s final decision and I am freaking out with him from distance.

Last night neither of us could sleep and we ended up in his office. We were talking, studying math and reading books all night long and today I left for school with heavy heart. I didn’t want to leave him alone, but he didn’t allow me to stay back for him and I accepted to give him some privacy before he goes to meet Ryker, Claire, Luna Rebecca and the others.

We all wish Ryker accepts to come and I want to be optimistic, even though I won’t feel comfortable to live under the same roof with him and I am not saying it because I have problem with him, I have no doubt he is going to have problem with me and I can’t blame him. It doesn’t matter how I feel, what matters is what happened and what is going to happen, so I hope he agrees and comes, because the pack and my family desperately need him.

I wish I could be with my dad to support him. He was a wreck when I left and my grandparents were already gone and I can’t imagine him so scared and nervous. Our bond gets stronger and stronger the more days pass and the more time we spend together and I can sense how he feels.

I guess it is time for me to tell you about how things are going between us and I am very proud to say we are better than ever, better than I could have ever imagined and I am the happiest I could be!

Everything feels natural, being together seems extremely familiar and our relationship is so perfect that I can’t even remember how we used to be only a week ago. He loves me just like I love him, he meant every single word of his and he keeps his promises, he leaves me no reason to doubt him.

We have so many things is common that we are amused. We love reading together, we spend hours in his office and I have free access in his private library. We also study my math together and he helps me a lot, because it is not my favorite lesson and he just rocks at it, he is the best, really! Moreover, we like to eat the same things and many times we sneak inside the kitchen to ‘steal’ our favorite desserts and then we run either up his office to eat them, or to the forest to have a walk and enjoy them at the meanwhile. He has a great sense of humor as well, I mean his pranks, jokes and teases are by far the funniest and we laugh a lot, most of the times I end up crying from laughing and he enjoys tickling me, which makes things more difficult for me.

I can’t believe I am finally so happy, I feel too close to be completed and I can’t understand why if we think that my tortures are not over, I don’t actually have my wolf, my pack doesn’t want me and my mate is probably going to hate me, I mean if I ever find him and he learns who I am and what my mother has done.

I sense that something has changed inside me and it keeps on changing every day, every night, every minute, every time my heart beats. Something is different, I don’t know how to describe it, but there is a wave of energy inside me and it’s feeding me, it gives me strength, hope and bravery, at least more than before that I was a total flinch.

From the moment I had that ‘bipolar crisis’ or however it’s called, because I have no idea what it really was, I feel calmer and more confident, nothing really hurts me like before and nothing weird has happened. What I am trying to say is that I had no crisis or panic attack, not even nightmares and this is not normal for me, but I don’t know what is wrong with me anymore.

And how did I ask from my dad to train me?

I am a moving failure and there is no way I am making it, because I am weak and also, I can’t fight and do all those things when I’m in pain and my wounds and cuts are in risk to start bleeding again. My father is the best fighter our pack has, the best trainer and there is no way for me to face him without my secrets being revealed.

Shit!

I have managed to get away with it for about two times till now, but from the moment I asked him, there is no doubt he won’t forget about it and I am lost! Sooner or later I will have to face the consequences, he wants to help and train me and I will f**k up everything.

He mustn’t know, nobody can know about it, I won’t allow it!

I know I’m weak, pathetic and worthless, but I don’t need anyone’s pity, I have an honor, a dignity and as long as I live, I won’t let anybody find out in how much pain I pain, not now, not ever.

I walk deeper inside the forest and admire the magnificent, full of life nature around me. I love this peace, I feel like home, I always did, but today I am nervous for Ryker’s decision and the news from my father and I needed to be here more than any other day.

The trees are too close to each other, the ground is uneven with many rocks, broken, dry branches, grass and fallen leafs and the shrubs at some points are too dense, but after many times of taking this path, I have no problem to walk around. The scents are overwhelming me in a very pleasing way and the noises sound like melodies in my ears. The birds are flying from tree to tree and from the one branch to the other and they are chirping nonstop, I think I can smell rabbits and squirrels that have to be hidden from the noises I make as I walk and the little sunlight, which passes by the threes and reaches the ground and me, warms my face.

I continue walking for about half an hour and I stop nowhere. I listen to the small rivulet which is close and I have seen it too many times and I freeze when I take a familiar scent that takes my breath away.

I need only one second to start walking in hurry following the scent which gets stronger and stronger and it doesn’t take me long to reach a small glade in the middle of few oaks and spot what I am smelling.

It is at a corner with big rocks around it, a holly behind it and it’s pretty small, but its too soft pink buds are too many.

It’s a wild rose!

Damn, my heartbeat gets stronger in its view and only, my skin shudders and the smile on my face is huge and bright. Alright, I guess it sounds weird that I am so excited only because of a small wild rose, but I love plants.

I almost run to it, not that it is that far, two meters are nothing and leave my bag on the ground next the rocks. Next, I fall on my knees with my breath cut and lean closer as my eyes open widely from admiration.

It smells unbelievably and it’s beautiful. The roses it has, have nothing to do with the usual roses, because their petals are five and all of them seem to be fresh. I haven’t seen so many times wild roses to be honest, this is why I am so excited now. And if I remember correctly, have read that they mean trust and they have many physical abilities such as helping the wounds in order to get healed faster.

Oh, it suites me, it definitely does, but anyway…

I would like to take one rose with me, but I don’t want to cut any. It will be better here, it is fragile and it won’t make it until I go back home and put it in a small glass with water. It is such a short and young plant that not even one branch needs to be put in a vase.

I raise my hand and caress one of his green leafs as gently as I can. It is very soft and I lose the sense of the time while caressing it. I am drowning in the roses and I don’t understand how and when I get pricked from a small thorn.

I leave out a low cry, because the pain is sharp and unexpected and pull my hand back. My right index finger is bleeding slightly, but it is going to be completely healed in less than a minute and I think it is not such a difficult thing for the stupid Haven who groans in annoyance.

Yes, sure, we calumniated her and she feels offended…

“Hayley, you…” she begins, but stops when we listen to low cries.

I jump up in alert and open my eyes widely. I look around me inquisitively and hold my breath shaking. I perk my ears with the i***t wolf of mine doing the same and I understand from which direction the cries are coming from, it’s from somewhere on my left and forward, to the pack’s direction, but it’s not that far, or this is what I think.

Also, it has to be an animal, these are not baby’s or even another human’s cries, but I can take no scent except from those I mentioned before.

I stay frozen for some more seconds, I don’t know what to do, I have no clue as to what I have to do in a situation like this. I mean, I am stupid I am walking around a forest without being trained or taught how to react in incidents like this one and now my brain has shut down leaving me in despair.

Perfect Hayley, this is just one more proof of what a loser you are!

I exhale heavily and close my eyes trying to decide what to do.

Hmm…

Do you what Hayley?

Stop being a f*****g coward for once in your damn life and go to see what is happening!

Yes, enough is enough. I want to change, I want to get self-esteem and my heart tells me to go, she pushes me to do so and I don’t have to think about it for more.

I open my eyes with determination, lean to take my bag and take a short breath before I start walking to the cries’ direction. I just follow my instinct, my inner voice keeps on encouraging me to continue and the closer I get and our distance decreases, the faster my heartbeat becomes.

I follow the cries blindly and I feel nothing, I try not to think, because it’s my defense against fear and I grit my teeth when I am extremely close and I just need just to turn on a group of shrubs on my right after a very small and low hill.

I stop for less than a second to take one last breath which doesn’t provide me as oxygen as I would want to and pray from inside me to face nothing so dangerous.

My legs feel like jellies, my stomach is a mess and I feel the need to throw up getting bigger second by second, but I don’t want to step back and leave. I still take no scent and it terrifies me to be completely honest and Haven is surprisingly trying to support me by groaning in encouragement.

The b***h is probably scared of her life, although she should have told me to run away like the loser I am, this is the only thing I am so good at, but what if she wants me to die so f*****g much that doesn’t care if she dies as well?

God, f**k her!

I press my lips together, surrender to my agony, accept that I can’t control my body, which is trembling more than before and take some timid steps, turn to the right and I get paralyzed from the scene in front of me.

I mean… This is…

Her big, dark green eyes meet mine, she stops moving like me, she doesn’t cry anymore and I lose the ground under me from plenty feelings.

I am relieved there is no danger, confused I couldn’t smell her and her blood or even the trap from steel, amused I am so close to an innocent soul like hers, happy I found her so I can help her, sorry she is suffering and in pain that so bad things happen to creatures like her.

It’s a young female deer and its leg is trapped!

This has to be a hunter’s trap and from what I see, it could be here for too much time because it is rusty and the grass is not so short. It was perfectly hidden…

I stiffen nervous under the deer’s confusing gaze and my heart aches. A flood of emotions deluges me and I find myself connected to her, maybe she is in the same condition I am when I am being beaten and I struggle to stand on my feet and leave.

Tears blur my vision, I can’t breathe and I sigh overwhelmed with Haven almost crying in my mind, it’s like she is mourning in sympathy for the young deer.

“It’s okay, sweetie…” I mutter breathless and take a timid step to her.

She doesn’t move even an inch, she doesn’t react at all and I find it very weird, because wild animals are supposed to be afraid of us and in my mind comes the old male deer I saw six days ago. I stumble shocked realizing that this is a big coincidence and gasp looking for once more at the deer’s eyes.

They look like the male’s and her fur’s color is the same from what I can remember.

Okay Hayley, you are being paranoid right now, why do you care about the details?

What matters is this deer’s safety, you must help it before any hunter comes to kill it!

“Don’t be scared, I will help you, yes beautiful?” I whisper softly trying to get rid of my nervousness and leave my bag down on the ground slowly.

I don’t want to make any sudden and abrupt move and cause her to move and hurt her leg more, so I have to be careful and slow.

I give a good look at her leg and keep my distance for now, I shouldn’t rush things, she needs time and I have to calm down before I approach her. I have no idea from animals or traps, but I know too many things about first aids.

What doctor do I want to be, if I know nothing?

Moreover, I have personal experience from injuries and wounds and fortunately I have everything I’ll need to help her in my bag.

“Just be a little bit patient, yes girl?” I ask as I open my bag and take out a half filled plastic bottle of water and then a small box.

In it I have some ointments for a variety of different occasions, bandages and cotton. I always am fully prepared for the well known reasons and I am happy for this, because I will try to do the best for her, it’s the first time I am going to take care of someone else.

The leg of hers which is trapped is the right front one and I am relieved to say it doesn’t seem broken or so heavily injured. She can’t be here for more than an hour, the blood is not that much, it hasn’t dried yet and she can’t have moved a lot, so she didn’t make it worse.

Um…

I am going to need more water to clean her wound (if she allows me once I free her) and I have to go to the brook to fill the bottle, but I have everything else and it won’t be difficult to find a thick branch in order to open the trap and free her leg.

“I will be right back, beauty…” I murmur under my breath and lock my eyes on hers as I stand up.

She follows my every move with her eyes, she never takes them from me and I can’t explain to myself why she is so calm. She was supposed to have freaked out and don’t get me wrong, I am happy she is not moving, but her behavior is mind blowing!

I take some steps backwards and then turn and head to the brook. I am glad it’s not far from us and I will be back in a minute.

“Maybe she senses you mean no threat…” Haven says thoughtfully and I narrow my eyes to her in frustration.

Of course she would say something like this, because I am too weak to be a threat even for a deer. I know she means exactly this and I can’t blame her, I can’t touch even a fly, so it’s impossible for me to harm a trapped deer.

“Don’t you think you have to talk to me eventually? I am tired of your irony!” she yells losing her temper, because as always she is reading my mind and I give her a smile full of hatred and bitterness.

Sure, now the b***h is tired, she has to be in the center of my interest or else she is not pleased, but she is fooling herself, if is she thinks I am going to play her game.

“For Luna’s sake, Hayley! I have been trying to talk to you for a week and you deny to even replying to me, I need us to discuss, you can’t continue running away from it! I am your damn wolf, we are together!” she roars outraged and I growl to her warningly.

Fine, enough is enough!

I was patient, but I can’t be anymore.

“The hell you are! This is just a cheap act of yours, because your insults can’t hurt me anymore! I don’t want us to talk, I tried so many times to talk to you when I needed you and you were never there for me, at least to help me because you wanted to make me suffer even more.” I roar back and she stiffens.

“But…”

“And we are not together and you chose it! You hate me for being Michelle’s daughter, but you are a hypocrite and do you know why? Because you are her daughter as well, my dirt is yours and the opposite, but I never hated you, I never blamed you, because you had no choice and nor had I!” I interrupt her and she lowers her heart without replying.

And she now acts like she is hurt, the f*****g b***h!

“Do me a favor, well in fact do to both of us a favor… Do you remember what you promised me about two months after I had turned 16 and I got you?” I ask next, but for once more she says nothing and avoids looking at me.

“You gave me your word that you are going to leave me once we shift and you will go to find the perfect human and back then I begged you not to, because I did want you, but now I am going ask from you the exact opposite! Leave me the hell alone and never come back to me, because I prefer to be a weak, stupid human, than be with you and feel your hatred and disgust! Go and find someone better, keep your f*****g promise and make both of us happy!” I conclude and block her before I lose full control over my mouth and insult her the way she insults me all these months we are ‘together’.

She just managed to make me a rude, coldhearted, selfish ‘w***e’ (she likes calling me w***e for Michelle) and I hate how easy it was for me to lose myself. I wish I could kill her, I really do, I feel I’m the worst person in this world because of her and I can’t be fine as long as she is still somewhere is my head.

Anyway, f**k Haven, I have to help the deer…

I reach the brook and fill the bottle in hurry without losing time. I want to go to her the sooner, so I almost run back and slow down when I’m too close. I sign relieved when I find her waiting for me at the same place I left her and I get ready to approach her after I find the thick branch I am going to need and take the box with the first aids.

I put great efforts to stay ‘calm’ and I lock my eyes on her for one more time. Something is taking place, there is a pull, I am lost in her and she looks too willing to accept me.

What if the b***h was right and the deer senses I want to help her?

Can it be or am I paranoid?

“I won’t… Hurt you, I want to help you…” I mutter nervously and walk to her in the slowest rhythm there is.

I am not scared of her, the most she can do to me is kick me once I free her or hit me with her head, but I don’t want her to react, pull her leg and get herself more injured.

My body moves unconsciously, I don’t control it, I am not in lead and my legs drag me to her that keeps on staring at me with an expression that makes my skin shiver.

It’s a very sweet, full of hope one and my heart melts, I think I want to cry, but I force myself to stay strong.

“Good girl…” I whisper with trembling voice and kneel in front of her and just some inches from the trap.

I leave the bottle and the box next to me and keep the branch with my eyes always locked on hers. My heartbeat rises the closer I get the branch to the trap and her leg and I hold back a small nervous groan when I place it next to her leg.

I hold the one of the sharp jaws and with the other one I try to open the two jaws enough to free her leg by using the branch. I grit my teeth realizing that it needs too much power for the jaws to open, but I am determined, I want to help her and I will.

I exhale and take a deep breath before I try again and this time I put every power I have inside me. I feel my hands’ muscles reacting, but push myself even more and after a while I manage to open the jaws, push the thickest part of the branch at the same height with them and close it again. In this way they don’t close as before, the deer’s leg is not trapped as the sharp jaws are not even touching it and I pull the trap away from her leg which I hold gently with my left one.

“We did it, girl!” I whisper excited and leave the trap to look at her.

The way she is staring at me is sending chills to all over my body and I truly don’t know why this feels so intense and makes me lower my head awkwardly. I can almost swear she has tears on her eyes, but I am too overwhelmed and my adrenaline is driving me crazy, so forget about it.

I must hurry before she tries to stand up and leave and I quickly take the bottle, open it and tighten a little bit my hold around her leg to keep it steady. The cut is not so deep and the bone is not broken for sure. It is some inches under her knee and the bandage is going to last for some days, so her wound is going to be clean.

I leave the water fall slowly on the spot and wash off the blood and when I see she is still not reacting, I leave the empty bottle down and take off my jacket. I need to stop the bleeding and I can’t do it with the cotton or the bandages, so my jacket is ideal, the fabric is going to absorb the blood and stop the bleeding.

I wrap the jacket around the specific spot immediately and try to pressure it softly above it and I have one more opportunity to look at her, although I am sure I am going to regret it, because I won’t be able to handle my emotions.

Her eyes are the mirror of mine, I can distinguish everything, all the pain, fears, worries, love, affection and care I feel and I can’t hold back my tears at this point. My heart is not truly breaking, it’s a different sentiment, she feels more…

Completed.

I don’t know how much time passes with us looking into each other’s eyes, it is more like a dream for me and everything happens mechanically yet naturally inside me. I convince myself that this has to be an amazing dream and I am imagining things and soon gain my mind back.

I need to put her some ointment and cover her wound with the bandages, so I remove my jacket, see that the bleeding has stopped and open the small box to take out the ointment for the wounds. This one helps with the healing process and it has antimicrobial properties and prevents inflammations and infections, so it is going to be the best for her.

I open the ointment, take a big piece of cotton, put a good amount of ointment on it and then spread it on the wound as gently as I can, I don’t want to hurt her although she doesn’t look like she is in pain. I would say I am in more pain for her than she is for her own self and I am happy she is not resisting.

When I am done and sure there is enough ointment, I continue with one of the biggest bandages, because I am have to envelop it around her leg and when this is over as well, I tie a knot and smile emotional.

“This is it, beautiful, we did it!” I say softly holding back a sob that comes out of nowhere and give her a timid, quick look.

She hasn’t stopped staring at me, her gaze captures me every time my eyes meet hers and I soon catch her looking lower for the very first time. I follow her gaze low on my hands and blink my eyes not surprised, but fighting to prevent myself from crying.

They are covered with her blood, but the amount isn’t so much, it’s from when I was pressing the jacket on her wounds, it looks like it passed by it and reached my skin.

The entire thought makes me gasp, my skin turns hot and my hands start shaking again, even though they were perfectly fine some seconds ago. I lock my eyes on them and the next thing I feel is that I am being watched.

It’s like a pair of eyes is observing me and I don’t mean the deer’s, I feel like I am someone’s pray and cold sweat falls from my forehead on my bare, dark pink almost red palms. I close my eyes, tears fall and the pain and desperation are back again.

I don’t understand why I feel this way and how this change of emotions happened so quickly, but I don’t like it, because it makes me even more vulnerable and weak. I want for once in my life to feel brave and strong, to stop crying and being so closed in myself, but I can’t, my origins is always going to be an obstacle.

Haven makes her appearance again, she tries to break the wall I have between us and force me to unblock her, but I force the wall to grow taller and thicker. The last thing I want is her lies or insults.

I leave out a low sob and hide my face in my hands, I don’t care that they are dirty, her blood fills my lungs unlike before that I couldn’t smell it and I gasp unable to breathe properly.

I ‘break’ for good and I forget about everything and everyone, there is nothing, I can’t even feel pain, it has exceeded every limit, so it can’t get any worse, but soft fur touches the back side of my bare hands and I get electrified like a thunderbolt strikes me.

I pull back, but leave my hands fall of my knees and see the deer rubbing her head against them. Her eyes are open, they look straight into mine and I smile emotionally and start caressing her head, although I am worried she is going to get scared and run away from me, but she doesn’t, she stays and purrs pleased as response.

I sniffle feeling like I am drowning and clear my throat. I can’t understand why I feel extremely overwhelmed so suddenly, but I think it has to do with her, I was calm before and now I can’t control my way of thinking or tame my heart.

“Go… Girl, go back home and be careful, you know where the trap is, but there could be more…” I murmur gasping and do my best to catch my breath.

The moment I end my phrase and get ready to pull back my hand, she leans forward preventing our touch from getting broken and a noise from behind me makes me jump up terrified.

My previous feeling takes shape again and I turn around trembling with my heart ready to explode in my chest to see…

The male deer I saw some days ago!

I exhale panicked, this time it’s different from the previous one, for a weird reason I sense a completely different aura, although the way he is staring at me is warm, kind and sweet.

I step back, hit my back at a tree and hold my breath with the female deer standing up slowly and walking to take her placenext to me and the male deer approaching us. His gaze travels from her to me all the time nonstop and my legs get weak, they seem unable of supporting me.

Haven has certainly gotten crazy, I start having a headache from her persistence and mania and I observe the male deer stopping about a meter from me, giving the female one firm nod and turning back to me.

His eyes shine and get brighter, I open mine widely and begin to feel dizzy, my eyelashes get heavy just like the last time I saw him and his next move is the last thing I see.

He bows to me and I fall on the ground paralyzed not able to stand on my feet for longer.

A wave of sweet warmth surrounds me, I feel someone licking my forehead and the darkness makes its appearance, but first I listen to an unknown man’s voice.

“Deer symbolize many things… Some of them are purity, humility and virtue… And you, my favorite child, have all these! Don’t lose them…”

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Hello everyone!

This is the 14th chapter and it got late, I know, but these last days I am not so focused, guys, I am extremely emotional, I spend hours thinking and I needed a small break, so I am sorry!

Anyway, I am back now and we see more weird things happening to Hayley, the next chapter is going to be completely different although, because we need to see what Ryker has in mind, so get ready.

How do you feel about what Hayley said? What do you think about her relationship with Gabriel? What about her relationship with her wolf? How do you feel about Haven weird behavior? Also, how do you feel about the incident with the female deer? What do you think of what Hayley did? And last but not least, what did what the male deer do, who is the man Hayley heard? What is going to happen next?

I am very curious to know your opinions and thoughts and I need to thank you for everything. I hope you liked this chapter and you love the story. Everything is getting nmore intense chapter by chapter!

Plese if you want to help me from now that is still the beginning and you are looking forward for more commend and let me know your opinion and thoughts.

I will see you again in the next chapter (unless you are reading my other books). Until then stay safe, smile and have fun!

Love you all very much,

Marie!