Always my Protector (Book 2 )

Chapter 3

I'd never felt nerves like this in my life , my chest felt like it was pounding out of my chest. Why would I feel so nervous to be going home to my family. A family I loved and adored, I obviously knew the reason even being a fully qualified shrink now didn't make a difference. I still couldn't cone to terms with what happened , I'd lost my bedmst friend and my life raft after one night. As time had past and I saw past my own grief and hurt , I'd began to realise what it must have done to him.

I know Carter had loved me l our lives , I loved him too god I loved him deeply. But not the same I don't know why it was diffrent from the love he felt for me , it just was. He wanted us to be together , where as I saw that as suffocating. He was constantly in my life , I can't remember him not being. Yes we acted like a couple would we slept in bed together every night I told him all my secrets and hurts. No matter what he was on my side and comforting me.

I guess in a way I was just selfish I wanted to live a little , explore meet diffrent boys. Experience heartbreak and falling in love. With Carter I never thought I'd Experience any of that , he'd never hurt me. But then he had , well technically he was returning his own hurt onto me. I'd become the one to deal the heartbreak out. When my father and mother had sat me down and asked me if i wanted to go away to study.

At first I thought they was trying to be rid of me , I'd angered at the idea of leaving them leaving him. But my mother had gently told me she was always so gentle. If heard the story's of her ex husband of Jessica's father. The life they had and what had happened to them both. They wasn't shy or secretive about it. " Alissia,  Jessica didn't explore and enjoy life. She was always trapped so was I. From a young age both of us didn't have the world in the palm of our hands that choice was taken away" .

She looks at my father with tears in her eyes and he's quick to comfort her in a side hug. " We know you love Carter and he you,  we love him immensely too. But I fear if you stay your a diffrent kind of trapped,  not in a cruel way me and Jess was. But in a safe cocoon, If you stay you and Carter will end up a couple you'll have a good relationship don't get me wrong. But years down the line you'll look back , I don't want you to look back and have regrets. Regrets that you didn't go out into the world and Experience it all. Before you settle down,  when you have and you come back and still pick Carter".

She shrugs and smiles at me " then atleast there is no regret, we don't want you to leave. But we also don't want this life , even thought this life is never boring being apart of the mafia and all " she laughs and I do too through my tears. " Its not all there is to life Alissia,  you don't just have to be the daughter of the mafia boss's right hand man. The partner to a boy you've known since you was five" both my parents had stood up kissed me on the head and left me at the table , with my own thoughts.

The more I'd sat and thought of it over the next few days , I'd made the decision mum was right. I would end up with Carter the sweet boy because he was safe , I'd never had many friends people local was too scared to want to get to know me. That or there parents told them to stay away , even though the thought of leaving everything and everyone I knew was scary. I was protected by my name here , but also in so much danger too. I'd decided I wanted to do it for mom , Jess and for myself.

I wanted to not be carter's  issy or Alissia apart of the mafia. Just me , so if sat my parents and jess down and agreed. Apparently it had been her and mom's idea , I'd requested if I went I'd go with a diffent last name just for school. They actually understood why and agreed instantly. But I still held him to his promise even though I knew I was leaving , knew I'd break his heart. There was simply no one I trusted more , plus all the boys around the organisation where too scared to go anywhere near me.

Because of my father and Carter , I'd seen the betrayal in his eye's when I'd told him. His words had all been the truth but from him they stung. Then he hadn't been there to see me go , hadn't been here the few times I came back for the holidays. Eventually I couldn't bare it , to come back and be reminded of that Alissia. I had become someone else and university. I jad friends,  I was a social butterfly who loved going out and enjoying life. The boys they came and went , never enough the one thing I didn't find was love. It found me multiple times but I could never return it. There was always somthing holding me back telling me this guy isn't the one. But damm they'd been fun while they lasted.

So university was over and I was coming back to do what I always wanted to do. Work with Kelly at the clinic and mum and Jess had definitely been right. This time away had been for the best. But why was I so nervous, because by now there was no excuse for Carter to be back around. He'd been away at Russia training,  he always wanted to join Myles's team. By now he should be on it , that means I'll have to see him.

I planned on apologising , like I'd tried the million times I tried to call him back then. They all went unanswered,  I kept having to ask Jess how he was or my mom. They kept telling me fine , but lately when I'd ask it was diffrent. They'd stutter over there words or quick to change the subject. I knew something was going off but what I didn't know.  Maybe that's why I was so nervous to be coming home learning the truth of what's actually happening.

The car pulls into the compound,  the driver dropping the window to be let through. We drive past the big hotel building that they all use to stop in and around the back of it uo another long road past all the cottages . Jayden had extended his land when our parents all started having kids. He built big mansion like houses at the back one for him , Jess and hunter. Then me mum and dad , then uncle Joseph auntie leisha , Carter and  jenson. Like I knew they would be , when we round the corner there all stood waiting for me. Just like when I left , except they was older now and I was diffrent.

Looking at them all as the car comes to a stop I see definitely nothing has changed . He's not there , my eyes search the throng of people even Uncle felix and Uncle Craig is here aswell as myles and come up empty handed. When I look back at my mom she's looking at me knowingly she know who I was looking for. She has a funny expression like she's faking being happy,  like all the fake chirpy phone calls lately. Getting out the car I'm greeted and hugged by everyone , but it's forced mechanical even.

Pulling back I search all there faces Jess,  jaydens mums and dad's. Hunter , Jenson then finally Aunty Leisha and Uncle Jospeh  and the rest . " alright cut the bullshit what the hells going on" I say hands on my hips. Jess goes to speak and I know exactly what she's about to do , brush whatever it is under the carpet make it into a menial situation . So I put my hand up to stop her, " I've let you all hide it while I was away , let you change the subject on phone calls. Let you lie to me but you can't hide it on any of your faces. Seeing that the only missing person here is Carter , whats happened or what's been said.

 Jaydens the one who clears his throat " Alissia we just want you to have a good homecoming,  we can discuss all this tomorrow ". I'm already shaking my head no and storms past them up onto the porch. " nope right now " I say and head in, I hear mum grumbling that I'm just like my dad pig headed and stubborn as the all follow me in. I head straight to the living room where I see banners and balloons had been hung. It made me feel guilty for maybe a second. But I wasn't about to play happy family's while somthing was going off it won all be a lie.

Taking a seat on the sofa everyone else piles in , Jess heading straight towards me and taking g a seat on the sofa with me. She smiles at me sadly and takes my hand and that when i know this can't be good. If I was going to need my big sisters comfort for whatever they was about to say , that was the only explanation. Jayden stands infront of the fire place and rubs the back of his neck , he does that when he's stressed or worried its always been a trait of his.

" Carter did something , non of us had a clue what he was doing. We all thought he would be home last month training finished and joining Myles's operation. We'll we was wrong he and Uncle Abram had kept secrets from us. We never would have allowed this". His voice breaks a fraction and my grip on Jess's hand tightens. " what is it?" . Jenson let's put a sob on the sofa opposite,  hunter is soon to throw his arm around his shoulder and pull him into a side hug. Those two was bestfriends just like me and Carter . Jenson had always been the quietest kid out of us all the most sensitive. Coming from a mum like auntie Leisha it was a shock. Especially when Carter was well so Carter abrupt loud outgoing and no s**t even as a kid. Jenson did take after his mum and jess for tech though , Auntie leisha had trained Jess up and Jenson too . He was a behind the scenes guy he probably always would be.

Jenson's reaction makes my heart beat faster , " What did they do ?" I manage to speak out around the lump in my throat. Uncle Joseph steps to the side of Jayden. " My son has infiltrated The Volkiavs , alone unwatched and as an under cover operative with no back up. He's been training with Abram to do this without any of us knowing. He's gained access into the Volkiavs organisation, he hasn't been home since you left. He's kept hidden and away on purpose for this sole purpose. Time age and training has changed his appearance he's kept out of the media and changed identity . If we try to interact or interfere and they get a slight wind there is a rat he's dead". Her looks so broken so useless stood there.

" Abram says they are planning to take out The Ivanov's all family's all country's all organisations. The plan to wipe us all out, Carter's objective is to gain access to the inner circle, gain intel and basically kill it from the inside like a poison. He's now called Ryder Popov the long lost son of someone there family exciled from the Russian organisationor something lime that anyway its complicated but would pass as a background,  he is in the states making sure he's far enough away from  home ". I feel like the walls are caving in , Carter didn't want that. He didn't want to go so deep into the organisation , he didn't want to be involved with whe dark side of our family. He wanted to join Myles's and save victims. He hadn't been home in four year , done this without telling anyone. There was only one thing that would have made him do this. Make him put himself in for such a dangerous job and that's me. The day before I left at my party he'd been talking with Myles's he'd been so excited to start training readybto join Myles.

I'd been the only change , my actions me leaving . My secret I'd sworn everyone else to , to not tell him. Had lead him to be so stupid . " Uncle Abram had no right sending him in alone,  they won't just kill him if they find out and we all know that. He needs some sort of back up , Jayden he can't be alone in there ". Tears where streaming down my face. He looks at me so heartbroken I was always his little angel he hated to see me upset. " There's nothing we can do Jess, no way to get anyone in that would make sense . It would put him at more danger ".

My mind raced as my hear race kept beating too fast . Then it hits me standing up I get ready for a fight I knows about to come. " there is one way" I look only at Jayden. He's the one I had to make back this , if he's on side everyone would eventually follow. " How ?" He says , I stare him dead in the eye . " Me " I day simply and mom stands up and gasps no dad straight away is saying no too. But Jayden is waiting patient for me to elaborate.

" I go and pretend to be his ex girlfriend who's followed him , pissed he left. I'll make him take me back publicly then I can be his back up ". Dad steps forward " Alissia you arn't trained fro anything like that it's too dangerous i won't allow it ".  " Actually dad , I knew I'd be behind in the  physical training when I got back. So the past five years I've been studying nearly every martial art and I've learnt how to use a gun. I knew the family I was coming back to , the job I would be in and around I figured I should be prepared and not be a defenseless weakness . A little bit more training on certain things and I'd be more than capable ". I say to my dad when I turn back to Jayden he's studying me. " She's entitled to the opportunity to show us what she's got , if I belive she isn't ready she won't be going ".  I nod my head and show a tough exterior when inside I was dieing with fear and guilt . If Carter dies it will all be my fault I broke his heart and he rebelled . I had to be there with him ".