His Serenity: A School Love Story (Fallen Angels Series 2)

Chapter 5: You've been hurting all your life.

They hit me five times. Maliit na bilang kung tutuusin pero hindi biro ang lapad ng paddle na ginamit. I was sobbing and hiccupping hard. I could barely open my eyes because of tears when they freed my hands and feet. Matamlay na bumagsak ang katawan ko sa sahig. I refused to look up at them. Natuyo ang ibang luha sa cushion pero may nagsisimulang mamuo sa gilid ng mga mata ko. Ayaw kong makita nila iyon. 

"Pumasok ka na do'n," the voice of the guy with a glasses spoke. Ni hindi ko sinulyapan kung ano ang tinutukoy niya. Marahan kong dinama ang likod at gilid ng aking hita. Bahagyang namamanhid pero hindi maikaila ang sakit. I bit my lip to suppress a cry.

"Move," the first guy ordered this time. Matagal bago ako nag-angat ng tingin. Nang magawa ay nasa harapan ko na siya. Mabilis niya akong binuhat. I feel like I'm as light as a feather to him. My complaint was all left in my throat. 

Should I tell them to be a bit careful when they're the ones who caused me this? Why would he be gentle in carrying me when they are the reason I'm in this unbearable pain now?

But why? 

Bakit nila ito ginagawa? Anong ginawa ko? Dahil sa cellphone? Wala namang naikwento sa akin si Rowan na may ganitong klaseng punishment sa detention rooms, ha? O sinadya niyang hindi ikwento para hindi ako mag-alala?

"B―Bakit ako nandito?" My throat was dried that I choked. Takot ang bumalot sa akin nang lingunin ang madilim na loob ng rehas. Sinubukan kong tumayo upang habulin ang lalaking nagpasok sa akin dito pero bumagsak din pabalik sa sahig dahil sa sakit. It was a real different pain. I could barely touched my burning skin.

I helplessly watched the guy locked the bars. I gasped, bit my lower lip, parted my lips, then inwardly cried. Sa huli ay nilunok ko ang bara sa aking lalamunan. Walang magawa.

Minutes passed and I couldn't help but question my situation out loud.

"Anong gagawin n'yo? Bakit ako nandito? Hindi n'yo naman ako ikukulong dito, hindi ba?"

The second guy glanced at the first guy who was blankly watching me. Walang salita siyang tumalikod kaya sumunod din sa kanya ang kasama. Sa pagkataranta ay sinubukan kong habulin pero matinding sakit ang naging dahilan ng pagngiwi ko. My throat was too dry to even attempt a scream. 

Pagapang kong nilapitan ang rehas. Marahas ang sahig dahil sa dumi noon pero wala ng mas sasakit pa sa natamo ng binti ko. 

"Where are you going?... Please!" I panicked. I grabbed the bars tight as if I have the power to bend them apart. Alam kong narinig nila ako pero nagpatuloy sila sa paglabas ng silid. Nang masarado ang pinto ay tuluyang bumuhos ang mga luha ko. A sound I never heard before came out from my throat. It was pitiful and painful. My chest constricted as if the pain is not enough.

I dreamed of so many things about being out of the island. But none of those good dreams are like this. I was never introduced to this kind of t*****e. I don't even know things like this exists. 

But who are they? Paano nila ito nakayang gawin sa akin? Sino ba sila? May iba pa ba akong nagawa? I didn't really mean to steal the phone. I meant to give it back to its owner. I'm not a thief!

Humihikbi kong nilingon ang paligid. Bumagsak ang mga mata ko sa butas na nasa sulok. Hindi ko alam kung para saan iyon o kung saan iyon konektado pero ayaw kong lumapit doon. Kaya naman isinandal ko ang sarili sa malamig na pader. 

Taking a deep breath, I slowly took off my shoes followed by my high-socks. Kahit na may kakapalan ang tela noon ay hindi pa rin naging hadlang upang masaktan ako. My skin is burning. Ngayon palang ay hindi ko na maisip ang itsura at kung gaano kalaki ang magiging pasa ko. Makakalakad pa naman siguro ako nang maayos kapag gumaling ito?

But for how long? Kaya ba sinabi ng dean na excuse na rin ako for the following days? Dahil sa ganito?

I cupped my face with my palms to wipe the tears and sweat. Lumandas ang kamay ko sa aking leeg upang sana ay damhin din ang naranasan ko sa parehong lalaki kahapon. Nagsalubong ang kilay ko sa panyong nakapulupot sa aking leeg. Tinanggal ko ang pagkakabuhol noon at pinakatitigan.

The scent remained on the soft fabric but I refused to inhale it. Why are they doing this? Sighing, I pocketed it. Blangko akong tumitig sa malayong pader. Hanggang sa unti-unting bumabagsak ang mga talukap ng mata ko dahil sa antok. Despite my uncomfortable situation, I let it pull me unconscious. 

Then I dreamed of my mom. Kahit anong pilit ko noon sa sarili na mapanaginipan siya ay hindi nangyayari. Pero ngayon ay napanaginipan ko siya. Iyon nga lang ay ang malaking larawan niya sa isla ang nakikita ko. She was smiling as if she could see me. And then daddy. He was smiling at me too. Bagay na madalang mangyari. I can't even recall the times when he solely smiled just for me. 

Groaning, I uncomfortably moved from my sitting position, wincing because of the pain. Sa kabila ng tumitinding lamig ay hindi namamanhid ang katawan ko. In between my sleeping state and unconscious mind, I can still the burning pain. Hindi iyon madaling balewalain. But I have to bend my knees and hugged myself because of the freezing temperature. 

Sa namumungay na mga mata ay kinapa ko ang pares ng medyas na hinubad ko kanina. Balak ko sanang suotin iyon upang kahit papaano ay hindi lamigin ang mga binti ko. But I heard a movement. Kasunod noon ay kung anong gumagalaw sa paanan ko. I feel something soft and hairy. Then something like an unusual small feet of an animal. Namilog ang mga mata ko nang tuluyang iniwan ng antok.

I gasped... then shrieked and screamed. My throat hurts so bad but I screamed, shocking the small animals. They ran to the dark and back to the small hole. Yakap ko ang sarili dahil sa nagtaasang balahibo. Hanggang ngayon ay ramdam ko pa rin ang pagkakadikit ng hayop na iyon sa aking balat. Pagod akong muling sumalampak sa sahig. Ni hindi ko namalayang halos tumakbo na ako palabas at napatayo nang hindi sinasadya dahil sa nangyari. My hands gripped the bars tight.

But it's no joke. It's a small creature compare to me but I have never seen a rat that huge! Isa pa, wala akong natatandang nakakita na ako ng ganoon kahit na maliit. Maayos ang isla at wala namang ganoong peste. Kung meron man ay tauhan na ni daddy ang bahala sa mga iyon.

Tinitigan ko ang butas na pinasukan ng dalawang daga. Masyado ko yatang nagulat sa pagsigaw ko. 

I grabbed my socks and fisted it. Isusuot ko sana iyon nang may natanaw sa labas. Ganoon na lang ginawang pagkalabog ng dibdib ko nang magtama ang paningin namin. Wala sa sariling inilapat ko ang palad ko roon. Is this still normal?

He was sitting on a chair in the middle of the room facing me. His legs are spread apart. Beside him is a circular wooden table where his elbow is resting. He's still with his jeans but this time wearing a gray shirt. 

Tuluyan na akong kumalma mula sa pagkakagulat. I keep my hand on the bar. I don't know what he is doing there or how long he's been there. He stared at me unmoving. His eyes were void of any emotion. It was blank, but somehow, that look made me shivered. O marahil ay dahil na iyon sa lamig.

"Can I... Can I get a glass of water, please?"

He tilted his head to the side but didn't say anything. Hindi rin siya kumilos para kunin ang hinihiling ko. I bit my lip and inwardly nodded to myself.

Walang nagsalita sa pagitan naming pagkatapos noon. He stared at me, so I stared back. I was wondering what he is thinking. I was hoping to see in his eyes the reason why he is doing this to me. Maybe he doesn't mean to do this despite the look in his eyes giving nothing at all.

Hindi ko magawang isuot ang medyas dahil sa titig niya. Ako na rin ang kusang umiwas. Pinili kong titigan ang mga paa ko na dinaanan kanina ng daga. I was screaming like crazy earlier but he doesn't seem to care. I bet he has seen the rats playing on my feet. 

Wala akong ideya kung anong oras na noon pero nakatulog ako. The room is freezing but his eyes are burning me. Nang magmulat ako ng mga mata ay una kong nakita ang butas sa sulok. The side of my face on the cold floor. Sa likuran ko ay ang malamig din na rehas. Naupo ako at ngumiwi. Sa pagkakabaluktot ay sumakit na rin tuloy maging ang likod ko. 

"You're dismissed,"

Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa lalaking sinususian ang padlock ng rehas. Tinulungan ko ang sariling makatayo sa pamamagitan ng paghawak sa rehas. He is not one of the guys from yesterday but still familiar. Siya iyong lalaking nakita kong may hawak na mga papel at folders na galing sa silid na ito noong isang araw. 

Everything came smoothly after that. Hindi ko inaasahan ang ginawang pagbuhat niya sa akin ― bridal style. He reassuringly smiled down at me so I didn't say anything. Pumikit ako dahil sa liwanag ng kalangitan nang makalabas kami. The sun isn't rising yet. Siguro ay mag-a-alas singko palang. Ganito rin ako kaaga nagigising sa isla para panoorin ang pagsikat ng araw. Sariwa at may kalamigan din ang hangin pero mas masarap ang simoy ng hangin sa isla.

I remember being lay down on a rolling bed. Pinanatili ko ang nakapikit kong mga mata, ayaw na may makitang may makakasaksi sa ayos kong ito. Pero habang hinihila ako ng tingin ko ay dalawa pang lalaki ang napansin kog nakasunod pero wala akong narinig na ibang ingay. When I opened my eyes, I'm already inside the infirmary. They transferred me to a more comfortable bed.

"The nurse will take care of you from here."

"Thanks," I cleared my throat. "Can I ask for a glass of water?"

Hindi siya nagsalita nang talikuran ako. Akala ko ay binalewala ang utos ko kagaya ng lalaki kagabi. Pero bumalik siya kasama ang baso ng tubig. Uminit ang pisngi ko dahil doon. Hindi naman ako mag-uutos kung hindi kung hindi ko kailangan. I said my gratitude after taking the last drop of the water. Tinanong niya ako kung isa pa pero ayos na iyon sa akin.

"Thank you." I nodded. I am sincerely thanking him.

Tulad ng sinabi niya ay dumating ang nurse na nag-asikaso sa akin. She ordered me to stay i that room in the infirmary until I get better. Pero hindi ako mapakali roon. Wala akong makausap. Kaya naman naman nang masiguro kong nasa panghapong klase ang lahat sa araw na iyon ay pumuslit ako. Nakatulong kahit paano ang ipinainom na gamot sa akin. Nagawa kong lakarin ang daan patungo sa dorm. Nang hapong iyon ay naabutan ako ni Laura na nakasubsob sa sarili kong kama. She asked me so many question but I assured her i'm okay.

"Who's the owner of the phone?"

"Diane Cruz? But don't worry, I'm fine." I hide the grimace as my thighs throbbed. 

"I don't know her. Your swollen skin doesn't look fine to me."

Ibinalik ko ang comforter na nakatapik kanina sa mga hita ko. Tinulungan niya rin naman akong gawin iyon.

"Salamat."

She sat back to her own bed. "Masyadong maaga para sa iyo na mapunta sa punishment room."

"Have you been there?" I asked out of curiosity. 

She shrugged her shoulders. "I heard so many horrifying stories about it but I haven't been there. And I won't ask you what it looks like."

"It doesn't look bad."

"But horrifying?"

Hindi ako kumibo. My experienced there is. 

"I want to know all the rules here. I don't want to go back there anymore."

"I bet you'd say that, but there's no physical students' manual here. Rules just suddenly appeared from nowhere. Ang mapapayo ko lang, kung anong tingin mong mali ay mali. Even if your prior intention is to bring back the phone, you shouldn't have picked it up since it's not yours. Or you could have surrendered it to the staff in the cafeteria."

Nakinig ako sa payo niyang iyon. She has a point. Dapat nga siguro ay ganoon ang ginawa ko. 

"How is he?" aniya matapos ang mahabang katahimikan. She was checking something on her phone. Nang hindi kaagad ako nakasagot ay nag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin.

"Sino?"

She stared a bit longer, reading something on my face. She sighed. "The guy who punished you?"

"I don't know his name."

"SJ," she nonchalantly replied. "So how was he? I don't remember having any interaction with him. You're lucky. You haven't been there for weeks and yet."

"I was punished," I stated. How was I lucky by that?

"Magpahinga ka na muna. You said the dean agreed you're excused to your classes. Pero hindi ba dapat bumalik ka sa infirmary?"

"I like it more here. And I left a note to the nurse." Sinulyapan ko ang bag kong nasa nightstand. Nasa loob noon ang bag ko. It's already connected to the internet. Pero gustuhin ko mang gamitin iyon para ma-contact sina daddy ay ayaw ko namang makita nila ako sa ganitong kalagayan. Kahit si Rowan ay tiyak na ipipilit na magvideo call kami kapag malamang maaari ko ng gamitin ang laptop ko. 

After two weeks, I was fine, but Laura insisted I should rest for another week. Pumayag din ako hanggang sa tuluyan ng mawala ang mga pasa ko. Bago matapos ang buwan na iyon ay nakapasok na ako. Everything seems normal. Katulad pa rin noong unang araw kong pumasok. Hindi ako kinamusta ng mga instructors o tinanong man lang kung anong nangyari sa akin. I had a meeting with the dean and she made it sure something like that incident won't happen again for my own good. Hindi ko na tinangka pang ipaliwanag muli ang sarili at nangakong hindi na iyon mauulit. 

The instructors to all of my subjects gives me a textbook and website links so I can keep up with the lessons. Every library break ko iyon ginagawa o anumang oras na pupwede. Three to four ang dismissal every afternoon but the building closed by five-thirty so I stayed there until it's time.

"Is this your first time having an encounter with a ball, Miss Ruskin?" Our PE Instructor, Mr. De Guzman spoke to me. Hindi ko kase nasipa nang maayos ang bolang dinala niya sa akin. I pursed my lips as my classmates behind him started making a face and trying to suppress their laughter. 

"Sorry po."

"Try again!"

So I tried. Kahit papaano ay nagagawa ko naman ng maayos pero kailangan ay continuous. Kung alam ko lang na pag-aaralan namin dito ang soccer, sana pala ay nagpaturo ako kay Rowan sa isla. Tiyak na kahit papano ay may alam siya sa larong ito.

"Okay lang 'yan, Serenity. HIndi pa rin naman ako marunong. Ganyan lang talaga si sir para ma-pressue tayong matuto."

Ngumiti ako kay Leslie. Siya rin iyong babaeng ngumiti sa akin noong first day at siya rin ang kumakausap sa akin hanggang ngayon. 

"My friend once told me this kind of game is usually for boys," sabi ko habang sinusubukang sipa-sipain ang bola.

"Ano ka ba? Isn't it great? We got to play what they play."

I smiled and nodded. Siguro ay matutunan ko rin ito.

"Sige, magpractice lang din ako."

Dinampot niya ang bola niya mula sa damuhan at bahagyang lumayo upang magkaroon ng sapat na espasyo sa pag-eensayo niya. I watched my classmates scattered around the wide green field. Someone playing on the goalposts. Everyone is wearing their PE uniforms. Bawat isa rin ay may kanya-kanyang soccer ball at abala sa pag-eensayo. Lalaki at babae ay pawisan dahil sa init ng panghapong araw. 

"Serenity, right?"

Ngumiti ako sa kaklaseng lumapit. I nodded as I watched him walking near me. The ball on his hand. 

"Rafael Cardozo," I said his name as a reply. He chuckled. Mangha ko siyang pinanood. Noong inihatid niya ako sa faculty room ay seryoso siya at hindi naman ganito. I often see him taking a glance my way but it's normal. Everyone does. Siguro ay dahil bago ako. But this is the first time he actually approached me.

"Raf." Happiness remained in his eyes. 

I nodded in agreement. Pinanood ko nang ibagsak niya ang bola at kung paano iyon mabilis na sinalo ng kanang paa niya. He played it with his feet. Mukhang madali pero sa ilang araw na naming pinag-aaralan ito ay alam kong hindi ko kaagad makukuha ang kilos niya. 

"Having a hard time learning?"

Dinungaw ko ang bola sa aking paanan. "A little."

"I can help you."

Our eyes met. Alam ko na isa siya sa magaling maglaro nito. Ilang beses din siyang napupuri ni Mr. De Guzman. Gusto ko nga sanang may magturo sa akin na magaling sa larangang ito pero ayaw ko namang makaabala. 

"Makakaya ko rin siguro 'to."

"Sure. But that would take time." He played with the ball and jumped around me. Sinundan ko ang bawat galaw niya ng pag-ikot upang mabuting mapanood ang kilos niya. "Next month ang actual game."

Mr. De Guzman said our class will be divided into two. There are twenty-five students in every classroom. Hindi iyon sasapat sa laro dahil same proportion ang lalaki at babae. Ang mangyayari, kailangang ilaban sa ibang section. Bukod ang magiging laro ng lalaki at babae pero sa final game, ang grupo ng lalaki at babaeng nanalo ang maghaharap.

I silently nodded to him while some of the girls' complaints. Something like hindi naman daw yata tama na magharap ang lalaki at babae sa ganitong laro. I don't know much about soccer when it was discussed. That night, I do my research about it and I guess, their complaints are reasonable. 

The guys are stronger compared to the girls. Isang hawi lang ay tiyak na babagsak kami sa damuhan. This game is more on physical kaya hindi maiiwasang magkasakitan. 

"No?" Rafael asked. 

Bumalik ang tingin ko sa kanya. He raised his brow as he waited for my answer. Ang kanang sapatos ay nakalapat sa bola upang pigilan ang paggalaw noon. 

"Is it okay? I mean, if it's really okay with you? Ayaw ko namang makaabala sa'yo."

He smiled. Uminit ang pisngi ko dahil doon. Maaaring nakita niya ang sandali kong pagkabalisa.

"I look good, am I?"

I blinked. Isang beses akong umatras upang mapakatitigan siya nang maayos mula ulo hanggang paa. He waved his hands to get my attention back to his face. 

"That's not what I mean. I mean, my soccer skills." He laughed to himself. "They're right. You look at everyone as if you're trying to know their secrets."

"Huh?" lito kong tanong. Aminado akong nahiya sa mali kong pagkakaintindi sa sinabi niya pero naguluhan din sa huli niyang sinabi. 

"I can't train you during class hours," he said with a shake of his head. "Are you still catching up with the lessons?" 

Umiling ako. "Kaunti na lang naman 'yon."

"I can teach you after class. Until before the last bell rang, it's fine for me."

"Are you sure?" mangha kong tanong. Malaki ang ngiti ko sa kanya. I clasped my hands together in excitement. But my smile slowly faded after I think it through. "But aren't you busy? Don't you have something else to do? Isa pa, hindi ba sabi ni Mr. De Guzman kailangan mo rin ng training?"

"I'm good enough for more training. And if I have some important things to do, I can cancel with you anytime anyway. If that's okay with you though. But don't worry, I am not that busy. I'll be sure to have more time to train you." He smiled and repeatedly raised his eyebrows.

After thinking it through, I nodded at him. "Thank you."

"You can keep that until you learn," aniya bago sipain ang bola palayo at habulin iyon. When he reached it, he turned to look at me. With a big smile, he saluted to me. Nahihiya akong ngumiti. 

He's actually nice. 

Smiling, I dug my hand on the pocket of my PE shorts for a handkerchief. Nakuha ko iyon pero natigil bago pa gamiting pamunas ng pawis. 

I looked up and far, passed the soccer field and the buildings. I wonder how will I get to bring this back to him. 

I surely know where to find him, but I don't want to see him. I don't want to remember that day. 

I put back the handkerchief in my pocket and got my own on my own on my left.