His Serenity: A School Love Story (Fallen Angels Series 2)

Chapter 4: Silence is everything

The owner of the phone and I sat together in front of the headmistress' office, facing each other. Nanliliit ang mga mata sa akin ni Mrs. Eleogo, kita ko sa mga mata niya ang pagduda. Binanggit pa niya kaninang kagagaling ko lang dito at paanong nakagawa kaagad ako ng kasalanan.

"I'm not really planning to steal anything," I defended myself. Mapait na ngumisi ang babae sa harapan ko. Her name is Diane Cruz, iyon ang tinawag sa kanya kanina ni Mrs. Eleogo.

"But you took my phone with you. Why would you bring it if you're not intending to steal it?"

"Balak kong isauli sa'yo. Hinanap ko kayo pero hindi ko kayo nakita."

"But we easily found you."

I sighed and turned to the dean. She lets us have this argument so she could see who's really at fault. Sa tingin ko naman ay sapat na iyon dahil iyon ang totoo.

"You used the school's landline, don't you, Miss Ruskin?" Mrs. Eleogo asked the question carefully. I nodded. "That only means you don't have your own phone."

Umiling ako bilang pagsang-ayon. "I only have my laptop with me po."

"Laptops and cellphones are two different things, Miss Ruskin. Miss Cruz is right, you shouldn't have picked up the phone and brought it with you."

My lips parted. Ilang beses ko nang sinabi na kinuha ko iyon para isauli. Hindi ko naman pwedeng iwan doon iyon lalo at alam ko naman kung sino ang nakaiwan. Absentmindedly, I fidgeted with my fingertips, a mannerism when I'm nervous. Usually, I'd do it under the table or behind me, but I couldn't do both now.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Eleogo, but I still have to attend to my next class," magalang na sinabi ni Diane.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin. "I also have my last period."

"We will have this talk until one of you admit she's at fault," maliwanag na sinabi ni Mrs. Eleogo. One of us, but she's looking at me. I understand.

I nodded and faced Diane. "I'm sorry, then. I don't really plan to—"

"You admitted it!" Mrs. Eleogo interrupted, causing my eyes to widen at her. "You are the down at fault..."

I bit my lower lip. Hindi naman sa ganoon. Ayaw ko lang patagalin dahil may klase pa ako.

"Well, then... as a school regulation, if cases like this came to my office, one should announce innocent and the other party as the offender. Since you admit you're at fault, Miss Ruskin, you must be the one receiving a punishment."

Nalilito akong nagbalik-balik ng tingin sa kanila. Diane was simply looking at me, but Mrs. Eleogo stares at me as if I had committed a big mistake.

"Punishment?"

She turned to Diane. "You may now go to your next class, Miss Cruz. I hope this case ends here now."

Diane smiled as she stood up. She bowed her head. "Thanks, Mrs. Eleogo." Isang disappointed na tingin ang itinapon niya sa akin bago lumabas ng silid. Ibinalik ko ang tingin sa headmistress.

"May klase rin po ako."

"You're excuse to your next class and to the following days," malamig niyang sinabi habang inaayos ang suot na salamin.

Following days?

She ripped a paper from her notes and gave it to me. "Here's your detention slip. Miss Jasmin will lead you to the detention building." She immediately pressed her intercom and requested Miss Jasmin in.

Naguguluhan akong tumayo. Nalilito man ay nakaramdam pa rin ng takot. Miss Jasmin smiled at me and gestured me the way out.

"Detention room? Bakit... Bakit po? Wala naman po akong ginagawang masama?"

Mrs. Eleogo looked offended by my question. She slammed her hand on her desk and looked up at me. "Only offenders will say sorry for their mistakes, and you say your apologies to Miss Cruz."

"Po?... Pero sinabi ko lang po iyon dahil gusto ko pong um-attend sa sunod ko pang klase. I admit, I was tempted to use her phone but I didn't—"

"Don't give me any more excuses! You say sorry and now you're admitting you were tempted to committing it. Miss Jas, bring her out of my office. This rude girl deserves a punishment."

Mangiyak-ngiyak akong sumama kay Miss Jasmin. Hindi ako sumigaw. Hindi ako nagbigkas ng masamang salita, how I was rude to her? I was only defending myself.

"Bago ka pa lang dito. Unang araw mo, 'di ba? Pero may detention slip kaagad," si Miss Jasmin nang makalabas kami ng building. Sa likuran namin ay isang mukhang guard na lalaki na kasama niyang maghahatid sa akin.

I blinked the tears off and looked up at her. "Wala po talaga akong kasalanan."

She smiled down at me. "It's a rules regulation. Only an offender will ask for an apology."

Ganoon ba? I don't have a student's manual. Dapat ba ay humingi ako ng sarili kong kopya para alam ko kung anong dapat gawin at hindi? Hindi rin naman kase nabanggit ni Rowan na may mga ganitong bagay. He said mostly, all of the schools have the same rules and regulations and it's the usual. He said what I think is a bad etiquette is a bad thing.

Siguro nga ay maling kunin ko ang pagmamay-ari ng iba.

"Mrs. Eleogo said I am excused for the following days? What's that mean?" tanong ko kay Miss Jas nang huminto kami.

She turned to the guy behind us. Lumapit iyon sa akin. Tahimik kong pinanood ang paghawak niya sa braso ko at marahang paghila sa akin. Ilang hakbang ang nagawa namin bago ko nilingon si Miss Jasmin na naiwan doon. Nagtataka akong nag-angat ng tingin sa lalaki na seryoso at diretso sa paglalakad. Nang masulyapan ko ang pupuntahan namin ay kusang huminto ang mga paa ko. Miss Jasmin was already heading back to the far building.

"B—Bakit po tayo nandito?" I asked, my voice trembling. Umapaw ang pamilyar na takot sa aking dibdib.

Hindi sumagot ang lalaki at muli akong hinila. This time ay nanlaban na ako. The building looks odd compare to the other building. It looks abandoned. Iyon ang dahilan kung bakit mas nakakatakot iyong tingnan kahit mukha namang walang tao.

"Sa detention po, 'di ba? Hindi po yata dito." He continued dragging me with him as if he couldn't hear how my voice trembled. Tatanggapin ko ang anumang parusang mayroon sa detention room pero hindi ko kayang harapin ang lalaking nakatagpo ko kahapon.

Nasa itaas na kami ng building nang humawak ako sa railing. Nagsalubong ang kilay sa akin ng malaking lalaki.

"Baka po nagkakamali kayo."

"Ito ang detention building. Pumasok ka na at maggagabi na."

I turned to look at the sky. Hindi pa naman paglubog ang araw. Siguro ay mga dalawang oras pa bago iyon magsimulang lumubog.

I was curious to know if he's saying the truth or not. Bumitaw ako sa railing at hinayaan siyang dalhin ako sa silid kung saan din ako pumasok kahapon. Mas naging matindi ang kalabog ng aking dibdib. Ramdam ko iyon sa aking lalamunan.

He opened the door and from behind him, I could only see a dark room. The guy pushed me forward. Tanging ang liwanag sa nakabukas na pinto ang naging dahilan upang kahit papaano ay makakita kami. Sa harapan kami dumaan upang iwasan ang magulong upuan at mesa. Nasipa ko ang kung anong bagay sa sahig na hindi ko na nakita kung ano dahil lumusot iyon sa ilalim ng nakakumpol na upuan.

We stood in front of another door. This is the room I saw with lights from the inside yesterday. 

"Pumasok ka lang sa loob," the man said with his rough voice. Nang lingunin ko ay nakalabas na siya at sinasara na ang pinto. I have no choice but to face the way to the only light in this room. Rowan was described to me that detention room was often unused classroom. Hindi pa naman daw siya napasok pero minsan niyang nakita.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure you won't get to visit it either."

I sighed. I'm on my way to it now, Rowan.

With that, my curiosity grew. With cautious steps, I walked to the door and carefully pushed it open. The first thing I noticed was the white-painted walls. The ceiling was high and the two fluorescent lights situated near and far from the room were not that bright.

"Good afternoon." My voice came out rasp. I cleared my throat and called for anyone again. Walang sumasagot. Tahimik at mukhang walang ibang tao bukod sa akin. 

Nang pinagpatuloy ko ang pagpasok ay sandali kong naramdaman ang hirap sa paghinga. There's something about this room. I feel suffocated without a certain reason. Sa kanan ay naroon ang L-shape white sofa at mga throw pillows nito. Air-conditioned ang silid. Hindi kasing lamig ng halos lahat ng silid sa ibang building pero habang mas tumatagal ay mararamdaman ang lamig noon. Near the sofa is what looks like a dental bed. Minsan akong naisama ni Grammy sa dentist niya at paraang ganoon ang isang ito minus the apparatus the dentists actually used. It's just a simple reclining bed in white and blue.

Sa paglalakad ay nabunggo ko ang isang metal bin. Gumawa iyon ng ingay dahilan upang mabilis kong lingunin ang paligid. Inaasahan kong may papasok mula sa pinto pero wala. Dinungaw ko ang trash bin na hindi naman natumba. Crumpled used tissue papers, syringes, and medical bottles ang naroon. 

Naglalaro na sa isipan ko na posibleng clinic ito o infirmary. But it doesn't look hygienic enough. Sa isang parte ay isang pillar. Sa tabi noon ay isang inclined and upright rectangular post. Mataas lang ng kaonti sa akin. Nakapatong roon ang kulay blue na cushion. Hinawakan ko pa para masigurong cushion nga iyon. Sa ibabaw ng rectangular post na iyon ay puting tela na nakabilog. Wala sa sarili kong tiningnan ang aking mga kamay at pulso. Mentally, I imagined myself being tied with that cotton and helplessly leaning on the cushion. Sa paanan ay nadungawan ko ang bakal na nakakabit sa poste. It looks like a handcuff but instead used for feet. 

Swallowing hard, I stepped back away from it. Ipinilig ko ang ulo sa naiisip. Hindi naman siguro ganoon ang gamitin nito. 

But looking farther inside the room, I saw a closed white door. Binalak kong pasukin iyon sa pag-iisip na baka nasa loob ang tao. Subalit naagaw ang atensyon ko ng mga rehas na malapit doon. Iyon ang pinagtuunan ko ng pansin at nilapitan dahil sa matinding pagtataka. Dalawa iyon at magkatabi. The metal bars were painted with black. May kadiliman din sa loob dahil ang harapan lang ang abot ng liwanag. I could not tell if the floor is brown or black, or if the stain was part of the design. Sa dulong bahagi noon, sa ibaba ay may kaunting liwanag dahil sa butas na naroon.

My mind wants me to go near it and see carefully if there are people inside but the fear overcomes me. Lumayo ako roon at bumalik sa nakasaradong pinto. Akmang bubuksan ko iyon nang makarinig ng yabag mula sa labas. Sa abandonadong classroom. 

I stood in the middle and waited for anyone. Out of nowhere, the image of the guy flashed on my mind. Kasabay noon ay ang pagtambol ng dibdib ko. Instinctively, I put my hands behind me and pinched my fingernails.

"Tonight, Raz," mariing sinabi ng pamilyar na boses bago tuluyang bumukas ang pinto. I didn't get to take a deep breath. Our eyes met. Everything suddenly became slow. Ni hindi ko nagawang gumalaw o magsalita. 

I remember having nightmares and I usually have a hard time waking up from it. Sa pagkakataong iyon ay para akong binabangungot. I don't know control over my mind and body for about a few seconds. Ngunit katulad sa panaginip ay pinilit ko ang sariling gumising. Madali ko iyong nagawa nang matanaw ang lalaking kasama niyang pumasok. 

He smirked but noticing I keep my eyes on him this time. His coat is again on his shoulder. Inayos niya ang salaming nahuhulog sa matangos na ilong. Nilapitan niya ang sofa at pabagsak na naupo roon. 

"It isn't even a week since the school year started and we already have a job here?" aniya na makahulugang nakatitig sa akin. 

Hindi pa rin ako makapagsalita. Sa kabila ng lamig ay naramdaman ko ang pamumuo ng aking pawis. It was when the first guy moved that my body jerked. Umatras ako upang iwasan ang mabilis niyang paglapit. Pero sa isang iglap ay nasa harapan ko na siya. His dark eyes is on me. He grabbed both of my arms and brought my hands out. Sabay namin iyong dinungaw. Una kong napansin ang sugat mula sa barbwire. Sunod ay ang pamumula ng mga dulo ng daliri ko dahil sa mariin kong pagkurot sa mga iyon. 

Nang walang makitang kahit ano ay binitawan niya rin ako. He casually did it but I stumbled backwards a few steps as if he had pushed me. 

"What's your offence?"

I blinked. Pinanood ko ang pagtalikod niya at paglapit sa rectangular post. Kaswal niyang inayos ang telang nasa ibabaw noon. I swallowed. Ang lalaking kasama niya ay tumayo at nilapitan naman ang isang wooden drawer. Hindi mo aakalaing ganoon kalaki iyon dahil sa pader. There are few things there like handcuffs, wire, ropes, rode, sticks, and paddles. Tumindi ang kalabog ng dibdib ko nang kunin niya ang paddle na pininturahan ng barnis. 

Then they stopped. Parehas silang itinigil ang pinagkakaabalahan at dahan-dahan akong nilingon. I blinked rapidly. 

"Retribution," the first guy casually said and continued on his work. While the second guy smirked at me. 

Nagtaasan ang mga balahibo ko sa batok. Ni hindi ko alam kung anong ibig niyang sabihin doon.

"Does she have to stay here until dusk?"

"Until dawn," the guy answered.

Tuluyang kumunot ang noo ko sa usapan nila. I know they are talking of me, of course. Humakbang ako palapit ngunit nag-iwan ng sapat na distansya mula sa kanila. 

"Mrs. Eleogo... uhm, she gave me this paper...," Kinuha ko ang maliit na papel sa bulsa ko at inilahad iyon sa kanila. Hindi rin naman maabot ng lalaking nasa unahan dahil malayo-layo pa rin ako sa kanila. "Detention slip?" I read the paper.

"You sound unsure," the second guy with glasses said.

I pursed my lips. There's no sense in telling them. Ni hindi ko alam kung bakit sila narito. Maaaring na-detain din sila. With their looks, it's not surprising. He's not properly wearing his uniform and the other guy is only with his shirt and jeans again. Pero naisip kong mabuti na ring sabihin sa kanila. 

"I didn't really steal anything."

Nagtaas siya ng kilay sa akin. Sinulyapan niya ang tahimik na lalaki na mula sa drawer ay may kinuhang susi. Bumalik siya sa ginagawa at niyuko ang posas na naroon. 

"That's petty theft. Pero nadagdagan punishment mo. Hanggang bukas ka pa dito."

"Huh?"

"Hindi mo narinig ang sinabi niya? Retribution?"

"And?"

He laughed. Natigil lang nang tumayo ang lalaki at titigan siya. He faked his cough and stood upright. The guy turned to me. I don't know him well enough. Pero pakiramdam ko ang simpleng titig na iyon ay nag-uutos na sa akin. Isang beses siyang humakbang upang malinaw kong makita ang inaayos niya kanina. It's as if he's silently ordering me to come near him and into that post.

Pero dahil hindi sigurado ay hindi ako kumilos. His jaw clenched. Dinungaw niya ang papel na nakalahad pa rin. Buong akala ko lumapit siya para kunin iyon. Pero nilampasan ng kamay niya ang papel bagkus ay muling hinila ang braso ko. Walang laban ang pagpupumiglas ko. Maging ang magsalita ay hindi ko magawa. Binitawan niya ako nang nasa harapan na ako ng post. 

What are they doing?

Instead of asking, I bit my lower lip. Hindi ko nagawang harapin ang lalaki nang itulak niya ako. Tumama ang mukha ko sa cushion and it's a good thing the post has it. Because it was slightly slanted, my body nearly fall if I didn't get to balance myself. Nang iangat ko ang mukha ko ay natanaw ko ang madidilim niyang mga mata. He stood behind the post as he grabbed both of my arm and put them above me. Kahit sa pagtataka ay tahimik kong pinanood ang ginawa niyang pagtali sa mga kamay ko. Sa paanan ay naramdaman ko naman ang pagkakakulong ng mga binti ko dahil sa posas. Ang lamig noon ay naghatid ng takot sa akin. 

"A―anong ginagawa n'yo?" my voice trembled. Umalis ang lalaki sa aking harapan nang hindi ako sinasagot. 

Ang pangalawang lalaki ang lumitaw sa aking tabi nang kunin niya ang paddle. I saw it handling it with the other guy.

"What... what are you doing?"

"Wala pa nga kaming ginagawa pinagpapawisan ka na?" he remarked. Hindi ko naiwasang tapunan siya ng matalim na tingin. He only smiled and went behind me again. Sinubukan ko silang lingunin ko ngunit napangiwi nang isang marahs na kamay ang humablot sa buhok ko. My face gasped was muffled on the cushion.

A warm chest touched my back. "Silence," warm breath fanned the side of my place. Dahil sa kilabot na naramdaman ay iniwas ko ang mukha ko sa kabila ng mariing pagkakahawak sa buhok ko. The image of his constraining grip on my neck came back on my mind. My breathing became hard and difficult. At that moment, I stopped questioning what they plan on doing to me and instead focused on calming myself.

Hindi rin naman nagtagal at binitawan niya ako at lumayo.

"Petty theft and retribution. You are to stay here until five AM in the morning tomorrow."

I didn't say anything. I feel like I am being sentenced and he is reading to me my offence. I waited for other instructions or word or anything. Nang maramdaman ko ang muling paglapit sa akin ay pinigilan ko ang paghinga. My eyes were closed as my head was lifted by tugging on my hair. I feel soft cotton covering my eyes. Kaparehas ng amoy ng taong nagmamay-ari noon. It was mild yet strong. Manly.

I bit my lower lip.

"Should we take off her socks and skirt?"

My body visibly trembled. Alam kong naramdaman iyon ng lalaking nasa likuran ko. Hindi ko napigilan ang reaksyong iyon dahil sa narinig na sinabi ng lalaki. He let go of me again and step back.

"No."

"Are you sure?"

Wala ng ibang naging sagot. I heard their movements behind me but I didn't hear anything from the coming attack. I yelped with the sudden pain at the back of my thighs. Bumigay ang mga tuhod ko ngunit hindi lubusang bumagsak dahil sa telang nagkukulong sa mga pulso ko. Maging ang binti ko ay hindi ko maigalaw dahil sa bakal na posas.

It was followed by another. The pain was shocking. Pakiramdam ko ay mapaparalisa hindi lang ang katawan ko kundi maging ang utak ko dahil sa kakaibang sakit na ngayon ko lang naramdaman.

But I didn't scream out loud. My cries were silent and if I ever make any noise, it's all in my mind. 

Silence

His voice keeps repeating in my mind like a deadly mantra. 

Is this power-tripping? Are they only playing with me?

I mentally shake my head, no. 

They have authority and power in this school. Especially this man. This man with a metal hand. With dark eyes and white shirt. His eyes speak for himself. It gives his order without him even uttering a word. 

I inwardly cried. 

You wished for it, Serenity. You wished to get out of the paradise island that was your home only to be tortured in this hell they called school. 

But you have to be silent, or else, everything will be doomed for you.