Back To His Arms (Del Fuego Series #1)

Kabanata 4

Inferiority complex

Tinali ko muna ang buhok at inayos ang sarili. I wore my black cup and shades. Binuksan ko ang SUV namin at agad na lumabas. Pumasok ako sa loob ng SM mall dito sa Marikina para libangin muna ng kaunti ang sarili.

I'm walking comfortably inside the mall. Hindi naman halata na public figure ako kaya nagawa ko ang gusto ko. I went to the supermarket and bought some food. Bumili rin ako ng pagkain ni Danna.

Umalis din ako pagkatapos at umuwi na sa'min. Kagaya ng sinabi ni Mommy ay pinagluto niya talaga ako ng mga paborito kong pagkain.

We spent our night just like usual. We ate and watched movies like we always did when I was young.

"Danna!"

Kinuha ko ang alaga kong aso bago pumasok sa kwarto ko. I sat down on my bed and caressed Danna's fur.

"How are you, my baby?"

I kissed her head and patted her. Niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit bago ako naligo. After I took a bath, I wore my white terno sleep wear. Kinuha ko ulit si Danna at pumasok sa loob ng studio room ko.

I sat down and looked at my paintings of him. Si Danna namam ay siniksik ang sarili sa'kin.

"Did you miss him?" I asked and looked at my Yorkshire Terrier dog.

Tumahol siya na kinangiti ko. Hinaplos ko siyang muli.

"Me too… I missed him so much," I said, desperately.

Tumahol ulit siya bago siniksik ang sarili sa'kin. I hugged her and spent my time looking at Dash's face before going to sleep.

Katabi ko si Danna na matulog. Kinabukasan, nagising ako na wala na siya sa tabi ko. Wala kaming practice ngayon kaya, pwede ko na siyang igala ulit sa subdivision namin.

After I took a bath, I wore my maong shorts, white tops and paired it up with my white sneakers. I also put my hair into a messy bun bago bumaba sa bahay namin.

I ate my breakfast while Dad and Mom had to go to our company. Nilagyan ko lang dog lace si Danna bago kami gumayak na gumala sa subdivision. We were walking slowly as I saw Elle and Nolan talking.

Nasa field ang dalawa habang inaalalayan ni Nolan si Elle na malaki na ang tiyan. Nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad at tumigil saglit ng makarating ako sa benches ng subdivision katapat ng open court.

Umupo ako saglit doon bago tinanggal ang ang lace niya. Sa pagtanggal ko'y, siyang pagtakbo niya kung saan.

"Danna!"

Mabilis ko siyang hinabol. Danna ran faster, so I ran too. Mabilis kong hinabol ang aso ko na lumiko sa isang street.

"Danna! Come back here!" malakas na sigaw ko sa aso na patuloy ang pagtakbo ng mabilis.

Habol ko ang hininga ng tumigil siya sa isang tao. I stopped and looked at my dog. Tumahol siya at napangiti na lang si Dash bago siya kinuha at kinalong sa mga bisig nito.

"How are you, Danna?" Dash's deep voice as he caressed Danna's fur. "hmm? Miss mo ako?"

Hinihingal akong tumingin sa malaking glass house nila Tita Zyska at Tito Beau. When I looked at Dash again, he's looking at me now.

Lumapit ako sa kanila. "Tumakbo papunta rito…" sabi ko habang habol ang hininga.

He nodded and looked at Danna again. Ngumiti siya pagkatapos. "Miss mo nga talaga ako," malambing na sinabi niya sa aso.

"Pasensya na… mukhang aalis ka. Akin na si Danna."

"Aalis kami ni Jaime," tugon niya, hindi tinatanggal ang tingin sa aso. "ako na munang bahala kay Danna. I'll bring her back to you later. Mag-bonding lang kami… I missed her too."

"What a cute puppy!"

Napatingin ako kay Jaime. She has this adorable look on her face as she walks towards Dash who's carrying Danna in his arms.

"This is Danna," wika ni Dash.

Jaime's face softened. "Aww! She's so cute! Hi, there! I'm Jaime."

I felt embarrassed as I looked at them. They looked so perfect together. Parehas maganda't gwapo. Parehas Attorney. Parehas may magandang trabaho at propesyon sa buhay.

"Annalise, babalik ko na lang si Danna sa'yo mamaya."

Tinago ko ang nararamdaman na inggit bago ngumiti. "Okay… sa bahay mo na lang siya ibalik."

Hindi ko na siya hinintay na sumagot at tumalikod na dahil baka mag-break down ako sa harapan nilang dalawa. Insecurities filled my system again this time. Those insecurities that I've been feeling ever since I was young... I felt it again.

Nakaka-inggit si Jaime. Na iinggit ako sa kanya dahil mahal na mahal siya ni Dash ngayon.

I thought I'd be okay seeing them happy together, but I'm not. Alam ko simula pa lang noong una, alam kong mahihirapan na ako. Hindi ko lang alam na ganito kahirap.

"Annalise!"

Napahinto ako sa paglalakad at nilingon ang tumawag sa'kin. I saw Jaime who's smiling at me. Naglakad siya papunta sa'kin na hindi nawala ang ngiti sa labi.

"Bakit?"

"Do you have time to chit-chat with me today?"

Lito akong tumingin sa kanya. "Y-yeah… today is my rest day—"

"Come on! Let's bond together!"

She snaked her hands around my arms.

"Huh?"

"It's my treat!" she added. "doon tayo sa Cafe ni Mrs. Fontegeo."

Hindi na ako naka-angal pa kay Jaime dahil hinatak na niya ako palabas ng subdivision. Sa tapat lang no'n ay ang cafe ni Tita Lauren. Pumasok kami sa loob at agad na umupo sa pangdalawahan na table.

"Annalise, what's bring you here?"

Nakita ko si Tita Lauren at agad na lumapit sa'min. I smiled at her. Kahit na matanda na siya'y, sobrang ganda niya pa rin. Morena na morena. Literal na Filipina beauty, idagdag mo pa ang natural niyang kulot na buhok.

"Tita, I'm with Jaime," tugon ko bago tinuro si Jaime sa harapan ko.

Tita Lauren darted her eyes at Jaime. "Oh? You're Dash's girlfriend, right?"

"Yes po, Ms. Fontegeo! I always love your dessert! You're really amazing po!"

"Hindi naman, pero salamat. Anyway, let me take your order now."

"I'd like to order tarts and one latte." tumingin sa'kin si Jaime. "ikaw? Anong gusto mo?"

"Just one cinnamon roll and lemonade juice, Tita."

"Copy that. Wait up lady's. Your order will be served in any minute."

Umalis si Tita Lauren at naiwan na kaming dalawa ni Jaime. I shifted my weight and tried my best to calm down. Hindi ako nga alam bakit ako kinakabahan.

When our ordered arrived, siya ang unang kumain ng in-order niya. Habang ako'y hindi ko magalaw ang pagkain.

"Let's eat while talking, shall we?"

I cleared my throat. "Yeah… sure."

What are we talking about anyway?

She smiled and stopped eating. "Anyway, Annalise. I just want to be with you. Like what I said, I want to be your friend. Wala kasi akong matino na kaibigan simula bata ako. They're just using me because I'm rich."

Tumango ako. "I know… but, Jaime, I'll get this straight to the point," tugon ko. "alam mo na ex ako ni Dash, pero gusto mong makipagkaibigan sa'kin. Hindi ka ba natatakot?"

"Bakit naman ako matatakot? Mahal ako ni Dash, Annalise."

"I know, but it'll be awkward…" I cleared my throat again.

She just smile, lightly. "Actually, I'm serious about you," mahina na wika niya bago tumuwid ng upo. "when Dash and I met in Shanghai, he was broke. His life was a completely mess, Annalise, just so you know."

Napahalukipkip ako. Parang may bumara sa lalamunan ko at natahimik ako.

"Sabay kaming nag-aral ng pag-aabogado sa Shanghai. He caught my attention because he's too smart and attractive but… I didn't know na kagagaling lang niya sa heartbreak noon. Nag-crush ako sa kanya dahil tahimik nga siya at ako ang nangulit sa kanya. I just want to be with him without knowing what he was going through. I pestered his life. He was always drunk and when he's drunk and helpless, he would call your name repeatedly."

Nag-iwas ako nang tingin sa kanya. Ang bara sa lalamunan ko ay lalong bumigat.

"Begging and keep saying how much he loved you," she added and hold her latte. "I know I shouldn't tell you this, but I think you should also know na hindi niya natanggap na break na kayo noon. He just didn't want to accept how you ended your 7 years relationship. Kawawa siya sa totoo lang… he's always kept talking about you… how much he treasure you, how he fell in love with you, your childhood memories and just everything about you."

"Jaime, it's all in the past," putol ko sa kanya. "can we stop talking about this?"

Please, just stop! Huwag mo nang ipamukha sa'kin ang katangahan ko noon!

"I know, but I just want to know why you broke up with him. Mahal na mahal ka niya at mukhang masaya naman ang relasyon niyo noon. Bakit mo siya sinaktan? You broke up with him and threw him like a piece of toy. You didn't even give him a proper explanation bakit ka nakipapaghiwalay sa kanya."

I clenched my fist hard and hid my thoughts.

Malungkot siyang ngumiti. "For all those years Dash was hurting because of you, I was always there for him. Wala siyang masabihan ng mga problema niya at ako lang ang nandoon palagi para intindihin siya… so please, tell me... bakit ka nakipag-break sa kanya?"

Tumayo na ako at pinigilan ang luha. "I-I can't, Jaime…"

"You're selfish then, Annalise," she said without unabashed. "kung akala mo ikaw lang ang nahihirapan noong nag-break kayo ni Dash, nagkakamali ka."

"I know, I hurt him… I broke his heart… that's why I'm happy because he has you now. He's happy now with you!"

Umiling siya. "Dahil pinapasaya ko siya! Hindi ko kahit kailan man pinaramdaman na iiwan ko siya. Ganoon ako magmahal ako, Annalise… I don't want him to get hurt. He's nothing but a good man, pero pinakawalan mo siya!"

"Then, take care of him," mapait na wika ko. "don't ever let him go like what I did."

"I will… I will never letting him go."

Bago pa tumulo ang luha ko'y umalis na ako roon. Mabilis ang pagtakbo papasok sa bahay namin. When I got inside my room, I burst out crying.

Tangina, masakit pa rin! Masakit pa rin na mahalin siya hanggang ngayon.

I thought what I did was a good choice for both of us… I know it's good, but it still hurts. Mahal ko pa rin siya.

Mahal ko pa rin si Dash. At sobrang nakaka-inggit si Jaime. She's perfect for him while I'm not. I'm just a burden to him… kaya ako nakipaghiwalay dahil ayokong maging pabigat sa kanya.

The reason why we broke up was because of my inferiority complex. I was afraid he'd eventually notice my inferiority complex… and it's because life alone was too much a burden for me.