Love, Joy, Heartache and Pain

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER THREE

The ride back to Kylie’s house was like an emotional rollercoaster. In a strange way, I felt connected to each and every one of my emotions. It was a dark and cold night, but an elegant moon was shining in the sky above. Everything about that night was romantic, alluring and magical. Suddenly, I felt a cold tear running down my right cheek. I was crying. What the hell was happening to me? I had watched the moon a million times before, but I had never cried over its beauty and splendor. All I wanted was to reach home, bury myself on Kylie’s bed and cry my heart out. I wanted my mom and Luke by my side. I wanted them to comfort and soothe me. And then I thought of my dad. He died a few months after I was born thanks to a drug overdose, or at least that’s what I heard. I had asked my mom a couple of times about him, but she told me that he died in World War II. Shenanigans! That war happened over fifty years ago, so that was close to impossible. I never really understood what she meant by war, but it was starting to make sense now. It was a war that he fought with drugs. I cried like a little b***h thinking about him. Something about my new emotions made me see things in a new light. I never thought that being a woman would feel this way, and I didn’t like it. I was starting to miss my testosterone.

I parked in front of Kylie’s house. The place gave me the creeps. It looked like a freaking ghost town. I had no idea why I was so scared for my life. I’m not the type of person to get frightened over a simple situation like this. I immediately blamed the estrogen in my body for this, and it was starting to mess with me. Kylie’s house was huge since her parents were filthy rich. The only problem was that they were never home. They had several businesses around the country, and they were away for long periods of time. Was Kylie affected by all of this? Hell no! She knew how to party and rock all night long with Chachita and LMFAO. Anyway, I fumbled with the keys and opened the front door. It gave an eerie creak as I pushed it open. I tried not to breathe since I felt as if thousands of eyes were watching my every move. I closed the door and made a run towards Kylie’s room on the second floor. I ran like someone was trying to grab my legs. I had never felt that type of fear before in my life and I didn’t like it. The moment I flew through Kylie’s bedroom door, I closed it and turned on the lights. Kylie’s room was huge. It was an oval, blue room with elegant furniture. All the walls were cluttered with her favorite artists, poems, pictures and several male models. It felt like heaven for a little while, but I’ve got to be honest with you, the girl sucked at decor and at keeping the place tidy. The room was a complete mess. It looked like a tornado had hit.

“I’m not cleaning this up.”

Yeah, now I was talking to myself. I walked towards Kylie’s dresser and picked up the box of tampons. My skin crawled just thinking about what I was about to do. After making the sign of the cross, I walked into the bathroom. The bathroom was cleaner than the bedroom, but I wasn’t there to judge Kylie’s cleanliness. I was there to perform one of the most gruesome tasks known to womankind, removing and replacing my tampon. Okay, first I needed to read the instructions. However, after reading them, I was completely mortified. I had never inserted anything inside me before. How in the world was I going to be able to remove and insert a piece of cotton between my legs? I had not even had s*x before! I needed to relax and focus. If Kylie could do it, so could I. I pulled my pants down and saw Kylie’s Victoria’s Secret panties. The girl had great taste…I assure you. Anyway, first things first. I washed my hands thoroughly. Secondly, I took out a new tampon and prepared it for what was to come. Next, without looking, I sat on the toilet and pulled down my panties. I reached down and found a small string near Kylie’s precious jewel. I pulled it out and let it drop inside the toilet bowl. I quickly grabbed the new one, and pushed the tip inside, leaving the little string outside. Oh…My…God! The process felt extremely weird and freaky. When I finally finished, I ran to the sink and threw up whatever Kylie ate that night. I wanted to die. After I finished empting my stomach, I climbed into Kylie’s bed and covered myself from head to toe with her quilt. I felt better, but all I wanted was to sleep all my troubles away. All of a sudden, something started beeping. A weird sound was coming from underneath me. I searched for the noise and traced it to Kylie’s phone. My heart crawled to the pit of my stomach, and I began pushing against it. Luke was calling me! I picked up without hesitation.

“Hello?” There was no response, so I decided to speak up again. “Hello?”

“Kylie? Whoa! I can’t believe it! You finally answered my call. Why?” f**k! He was right. Kylie would have never answered any of his phone calls! “I mean, it’s great to finally hear your voice. How are you? What are you doing?”

“You mean, besides sleeping?” I decided to act bitchy like Kylie.

“Oh God! Sorry.” I heard a little slap on the forehead on the end of the phone, which made me laugh. “If you want, I can call you tomorrow.”

“No! Tell me now…what’s up?”

“Okay, well, tomorrow’s the Back to School Dance, and I know it’s really late but…I was wondering if…you…if you would like to go with me?…as friends, of course. I mean, it’s a stupid dance and I don’t really want to go, but…it would be cool if we could go together…as friends.” I wanted to travel through the phone and squeeze him to death. His nervousness made him so cute and adorable. My heart was melting into a puddle of Lucas Edward Johnson love. “Kylie, you still there?”

“Oh God, Yes! I mean, yes to both answers.”

“Really?” He sounded surprised.

“Yes, Luke. I would love to go with you.”

“Awesome!” he shouted. Suddenly, he cleared his throat. “I mean, it would be cool to go with you…as friends, of course.”

“Yes, Luke. That would be awesome.”

“Okay. So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Sure, Luke. Night, and sweet dreams.”

“Night Kylie.”

After he hung up the phone, all I wanted was to melt into his strong and muscular arms. Lucas Edward Johnson asked me to the dance! Yes! Me! To the dance! It was then that I realized my mistake. He had asked Kylie, not me. He wanted to go with Kylie! He thought that he was going with Kylie, and I said yes. The real Kylie was going to kill me after I told her the truth. Suddenly, school seemed like an arena of doom.

* * * * *

I heard a little hustle and bustle. I tried to open my eyes, but they felt so heavy and weary. I was too tired and lazy to get up. All I wanted was for my mom to let me sleep in and forget about school. Suddently, a familiar round face with black hair and eyes appeared just a few inches from mine. “Rise and shine!” I let out a loud scream and fell to the floor. “Jesús, María y José! Are you okay, Seňorita?” It was Chachita, Kylie’s housemaid. In a swift second, it all came back to me. I was inside Kylie’s body.

“Yes, Chachita!” I stood up trying to regain my composure. My vision was blurry. I was drowsy, and my head was pounding! For some reason, I had a sleep hangover.

“I’m so sorry to have startled you, but you’re going to be very late for school.” Chachita placed a set of clothes near my bed. She then pointed to a silver tray on top of my bed and continued, “I made you breakfast and that annoying guy called again.”

“Who?”

“The annoying one…I believe his name is Luke.”

“Oh! Yes, Luke.” I reached for the tray and began to gobble my food since I was so hungry. I needed to get to school as soon as possible. I needed to see myself again, or Kylie.

“You sure got an appetite this morning.” Chachita curiously looked at me for a few seconds. s**t! Women don’t eat like pigs; they chew like they’re sharing a secret…that’s what my grandmother always tells my cousins. “You feeling okay? Something is really odd about you this morning.”

“Yes! I’m just really hungry Chachita.” I did my best to act like Kylie by throwing my hair backwards. She copied that little move from Josh.

“I see,” she murmured making her way towards Kylie’s closet where she disappeared. I let out a quiet sigh, since I needed to act more like a lady and less like a man. I don’t know why guys made fun of me for acting like a girl when I could barely pass for one. Suddenly, Kylie’s phone began beeping again. When I glanced at the screen, I realized that it was my phone number.

“Hello? What the hell happened?” I tried to speak as low as possible since Chachita was nearby and I didn’t want her to hear my conversation with Kylie, or as she would think, with myself.

“Kyle! I need your help. That thing is hard!”

“What thing?”

“Your f*****g d**k, you moron! What else would be hard? I woke up like that this morning and I don’t know how to bring it down.”

Shenanigans! I completely forgot to tell Kylie about morning woods and how to bring it down. “Okay, first relax and stop thinking about the hard on.”

“Relax? How can I f*****g relax! It hurts. It feels like it’s going to explode or something. Make it stop, Kyle!”

I’m telling you, at this point, I wanted to burst out laughing, but I didn’t. One of us had to be calm, and that was going to be me. “Kylie, that’s a common thing for every male walking the face of the planet. Every morning, they are prone to waking up with morning woods.”

“Really? d***s do have a mind of their own. But how can I bring it down and fast? I gotta go and make coffee for your mom.”

“Okay, get into the shower and take a cold bath. That fucker will go down fast. And don’t you dare think about Josh’s morning wood because it will go up again.”

“Really? Do you think he has one right now?”

“Kylie, focus!”

“Okay, sorry. See you at school and don’t you dare answer Luke’s calls.”

Yeah, I messed up big time with that one, but I couldn’t tell her. That would be like signing my own death sentence. “I won’t, promise.”

“Good. See you at school. I’ve got a fight to win against your d**k. By the way, the size is pretty impressive.”

“Kylie!”

And just like that, she hung up on me. As I looked at Kylie’s phone, I realized that I had several missed calls from Luke. The guy was desperate to talk to or see me. Shenanigans! I needed to tell Kylie the truth.

“Okay, here are your shoes. Get ready or you’ll be really late. I’ve got to begin with the house chores.” Chachita placed the pair of sneakers on top of the bed and made her way out of my room. Thank God the woman left.

I returned to my food, but barely finished it. It was really odd for me since I always emptied my plate. My new belly wasn’t working for me. I got full fast and with little food. Being a woman was starting to get on my nerves. Changing was relatively easy. One of the hardest things was getting my bra on, but once that was over with, it was smooth sailing from there. I had to remove and replace my tampon again; however, this time it was less disgusting than the first time. I was starting to get the hang of it. And then came the hardest part of the morning. I had to put on makeup. Holy shenanigans! I had no idea what to do, or where to begin. All of Kylie’s makeup sets looked like a weird jigsaw puzzle, but I had to try. I pinched my eyes like eight times just trying to put on the Lash Blast Fusion by CoverGirl. And don’t get me started on the foundation and lip-gloss. I ended up looking like Saggy the Dark Clown! The models on TV always made it look so easy and carefree. After spending close to an hour on that impossible task, I gave up. The only thing I did correctly was comb my hair. I washed my face and put on a pair of Kylie’s biggest sunglasses. That would give me protection from the sun, and from the hundreds of jokes that my wonderful, loving peers would throw my way during the day. With that simple object (sunglasses), I would protect Kylie’s reputation at school. I was now ready for the day ahead. I was going to be the best Kylie ever.

* * * * *

I wasn’t ready! I was freaking out! As I neared the school, my heart began to beat faster than a speeding locomotive. My hands became sweaty and my breathing forceful. All of a sudden, I realized just how many students attended Gelson High. They were like a school of fish surrounding my car as I pulled into the school’s parking lot. Fish? No, more like walking piranhas! After hyperventilating in Kylie’s car for close to ten minutes, I got the courage to open the door. Out of nowhere, the passenger door flung open and a frantic Kylie jumped in. She was wearing the ugliest shirt I owned and one of my dad’s pair of pants that I kept to remember him by.

“Where the f**k have you been?” Kylie demanded.

And I thought I was having a bad day. “I just got here. What in the world are you wearing?”

“Why are you not wearing makeup? I’d rather die than have people see me without my makeup.”

“Well, that can be arranged!” I yelled at her.

Kylie instantly removed my sunglasses and retrieved her emergency makeup bag from her car. I’m telling you, the girl worked her magic on me. She worked like an artist bringing her greatest masterpiece to life. When she was done, she smiled satisfactorily. Now, to fix whatever in the world she was wearing. I always kept an extra shirt in my schoolbag just in case. I yanked my bag from her shoulders. That caught her off guard, and she let out a small squeal. I searched inside, and pulled out a white t with a skull on the back.

“Put this on!” I ordered her, throwing the shirt in her face. She had no choice, but to obey me. Once she had on her new shirt and fixed her hair, we silently stared at each other for a few seconds. She gave me a tiny nod.

“Let’s do this shit.”

We both stepped out of the car at the same time. For a brief a second, I felt like I was in a Fast and Furious movie with Vin Diesel. We had walked approximately three yards when I glanced to my left. Kylie was gone! Looking around, I noticed that Kylie was inside her car searching for the keys. She was leaving me behind to fend for myself. Hell no! I ran to driver’s door and banged on it. “What the hell are you doing?”

Her eyes bulged, and she was sweating her little balls off. I immediately opened the driver’s door.

“That guy noticed!” Kylie pointed behind me.

“What? Which guy?” Looking around, I noticed another senior talking and laughing with his friends. He seemed carefree, enjoying the day. “What makes you say that?”

“He nodded at me.”

I wanted to smack her in the face. “Kylie! He was just being nice. That’s how guys salute each other these days. With a tiny nod, we acknowledge each other’s presence. You’re overreacting.”

Kylie froze. “Really?”

“Yes, silly. Can we get going? Just stick with me and don’t do anything to draw attention to yourself, okay?”

Kylie nodded. “Okay.”

“Good.”

Unwillingly, she stepped out of the car. Now, we were ready. We were going to conquer the world.