Love, Joy, Heartache and Pain

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FOUR

We were so f****d. I could feel Kylie’s restlessness and hesitation as we stepped into the hallway, and THAT was the most crucial spot in school. That was the place where we socialized or gossiped about one another in front of each other. That was where all positive energy disappeared and was replaced by negative ones . As we walked down the pessimistic lane, Kylie looked at everyone and nodded at them. I wanted to kill her. I would never in a million years act that way! Before I tore her limb from limb, I quickly pulled her aside. “What are you doing?”

Kylie shrugged her shoulders and smiled. “Acknowledging everyone’s presence.”

I smacked myself in the forehead…me and my big mouth. I took a deep breath to calm the f**k down. “You’re drawing too much attention to yourself (to me). I would NEVER act that way! So act more like me, or I will go and make out with Luke.”

“You wouldn’t?!”

“Try me.” I was dead serious. The last thing I wanted was for everyone to think that I was losing my mind by acting like a fool in front of the entire student body. That was like committing social suicide at Gelsen High!

Kylie curled her lips. “Okay, I’ll try to act more like you.”

“Good.”

We proceeded to our lockers as normal. It was there that we made our first mistake.

“What the f**k are you guys doing?”

It was Josh, and he was talking to Kylie. He raised an eyebrow and continued to wait for her reply. Kylie went completely pale. Her widening eyes and uncomfortable expression was clearly noticeable. I had to save her.

“What are you―”

“I wasn’t talking to the dimwitted cheerleader.” Josh rolled his eyes and continued staring at Kylie.

“What…What are you talking about, Josh?” She somehow managed to mumble those words.

“Well…” Josh answered glancing at Kylie from head to toe and scratching his head. “You’re at her locker, and she’s at your locker.”

Fuck! I glanced at Kylie who turned toward me with her mouth slightly opened.

“We were―”

“Not asking you again, cheerleader,” Josh mumbled rolling his eyes and looking away. He let out a loud sigh of complete and utter annoyance. He was really starting to get on my last nerve. Now I knew how Kylie felt every time he cut her off. He turned to Kylie again. “Anyways, Old Bat Betty couldn’t make it today so her class was cancelled. And since you’re always spending time with little Miss Perfect here, I thought that it would be nice if we hang out for a while, just the two of us.”

Kylie’s mouth fell open. Her eyes widened and a goofy grin decorated her face. “R…really? You…you want to spend time with me?”

“Yes, stupid! What the hell’s wrong with you today?”

“Nothing―”

“Seriously! Zip it, cheerleader,” he told me looking the other way, ignoring me.

“Well, Josh, she…I mean he, can’t because he has to spend the day with me.”

“Really, cheap version of a Malibu Barbie? Why’s that?” Josh glanced directly at me scowling.

“Yes because Kyle and I―”

“Just ignore her, Josh. She has her period.” Kylie cut in. She smiled from ear to ear and for some reason or other, she couldn’t take her eyes off him. Josh turned toward me, smiling happily because he knew that he had just won.

“Kyle, I don’t think that’s a really good idea right now. Remember why?” I barked at her.

“Why not? See you in second period.” Kylie replied smiling. “Besides, you’ll be busy yourself.”

“And why’s that?” I seriously wanted to punch her in the face. She was running off with Josh in my body. That was a terrible idea!…the worst idea ever at that moment.

“Look behind you.”

I immediately turned around and came face to face with a familiar and sweet face. Lucas was standing behind me with the biggest smile I had ever seen on his angelic and perfect face.

“Hi K…Kylie!”

“Hey Luke!” I squealed like a stupid school girl meeting the man of her dreams.

“Bye Kylie!”

I turned around and saw Kylie and Josh making their way down the hall. “Kyle! Get back here! Kyle! Josh!” They ignored me completely. I wanted to run behind them and tackle them to the ground. Those two little tarts were going to be so sorry for leaving me all alone with Luke! Luke! Oh my God! He was still standing behind me. I spun around to face his loving and caring smile again. “They’ve got a group project.” I lied.

“Oh, that explains why they left in a hurry.”

“Yeah.” My heart was pounding hard against my small chest. I guessed that even my boobs were jumping up and down. In a state of nervousness, we both began to dance from foot to foot.

“So?” Luke shouted, wiping his hands on his shirt.

“So…” I giggled.

“Here we are…talking.” Luke smiled nervously and holy s**t, even when he was nervous, his smile radiated brighter than the sun after a fierce storm. “Finally!…I mean, I’m just so happy that you finally decided to talk to me.”

“I know!” I squealed again. “I’ve got no idea why Kylie always ignores your calls.”

Luke’s nervous dance came to a halt. “What?”

Shenanigans! I messed up big time. I was Kylie now! Quick! Come up with a lie! “I…I like to…talk about myself in the third person sometimes.”

“Oh!” He laughed. “So, are you ready for the big night tonight?”

Oh f**k! I had a date with him. “Yes, we’ve got the last period free so we could get ready for tonight, right?”

“Yes, I’ll be working on decorations and stuff like that…more like carrying things around while the girls decide where to put them.”

“With those big arms, that should be an easy task.” I decided to be brave enough and touch his perfect biceps. They were hard as a rock. “You work out a lot?”

“Every single day!”

“Really? That’s cool.” I smiled looking around.

“Do you want to get something to drink?” A slight smile covered his face.

“That would be nice.” I slammed my locker shut and followed him down the hallway towards the entrance. My entire body was shaking from head to toe while my stomach churned.

“So, tell me, what are your likes?”

“My likes? I’ve got several likes.” I beamed.

“Cool.” Luke swallowed hard. “What are some of them?”

“Hmm. How about if you ask me some questions and I answer them as truthfully as possible?”

“Awesome.” He held the door open for me. “What is your favorite pastime?”

“Hmm. Promise not to laugh?”

“Over my dead body.” He held his right hand up with a charming smile on his face.

“I like reading.”

“What do you like to read?”

“Mostly fiction….Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, comics…”

“You like comics?” Luke beamed. “That’s awesome! I love those. I…I write…poems.”

I froze beside him. His facial expression quickly changed. He seemed apprehensive and nervous. The blood disappeared from his face, and gave him that dead look. A jock who wrote poems was rarer than a magical unicorn running around a field. “You write poems?”

“Yeah, I know it’s unusual, but I enjoy writing them a lot.”

“That’s pretty impressive! Not just anyone can do that.” A small sigh escaped from his lips, and blood began coursing through his veins again. We continued walking in silence until we reached his Mustang.

“Let me get that for you.” Struggling with his bag pack, he ran to my side and opened the passenger door.

“Thank you.” I climbed inside smiling like an i***t on crack.

He quickly ran to the other side and jumped in. “What do you like to do for fun?”

“Watch movies.”

“Cool, which movie is your favorite movie of all time?” The car gave a sudden roar. Slowly and carefully, we made our way out of the parking lot and onto the main street.

“Titanic.”

His eyes widened. “Really! Are you kidding me? Mine too. I sometimes find it hard to admit because of the romance between the two main characters. My friends might find that a little gay. But, it was an exact replica of one of the greatest tragedies of all times. And for that, the movie has my upmost respect.”

Bloody hell mixed with shenanigans! Luke was really in touch with his emotions. He wasn’t an egocentric asshole or macho man like the other guys in school. No way! He was more than that! Lucas Edward Johnson wasn’t afraid to express love and emotions. Well, he was afraid to express them at school, since we were all swimming in a pool full of deadly piranhas and sharks. They would have torn him to pieces if they found out he was a sentimental guy who wrote poems. We had that in common. I was petrified at the idea of their finding out that I was gay. These “peers” would have eaten us alive.

“What happened? I lost you didn’t I?” Luke asked, staring at me.

“Sorry! It’s just that you’re more than what I expected.” I answered.

“Really?”

“Yes.” My cheeks felt hot now. “I knew you were a great guy, but now, I know that you’re an amazing guy.”

“Thank you and to be honest, you’re not what I expected either. I had a different impression of you.”

“The chick that always ignores you?”

Luke chuckled. Trust me; he looked ten times cuter when he did that. Those dimples seemed to appear out of nowhere and carved his face into one of the greatest masterpieces ever made. As we parked outside Baskin Robbins, he turned towards me. “No, I knew that you were an amazing girl with a tough exterior, but now I know that you’re an amazing girl with a great personality. Shall we go inside?”

“Sure!” We stepped out of the car, and made our way towards the door which he once again opened for me. I wanted to make out with him on the spot, but I had to control myself. “Act like a lady,” I reminded myself. As anyone would guess, it was empty. I had never been there on a school day and now I knew why. The place looked like a ghost town, but come here after school, and it was a different story….there was a three hour long wait. Anyways, we settled on a booth. As we sat facing each other, we both smiled from ear to ear. I was so nervous, and from the way Luke was squirming in his seat, I knew that he was too.

“What would you like today?” The waitress smiled, glancing back and forth between us.

Luke looked at me, smiling, and shrugged. “What do you want?”

“Anything as long as it has Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.”

“You like Reese’s? No way! Me too!” Smiling, he told the waitress. “Two Reese’s shakes please.”

“Sure.” She walked away smiling. Luke immediately began to play with the napkins on the table, trying his best to avoid making eye contact with me. I stared at him curiously. Even though it was a cool day, he was starting to break into a sweat. I decided to break the ice since I hated uncomfortable silence.

“So? Who do you listen to?”

“Who me?” he said dropping the napkins on the table. He quickly picked them up and rearranged them back again. “Yes me! Who else, right?”

“Right.” I smiled, staring into his crystal blue eyes that made me drool almost instantly.

“I like Nirvana.”

“Shut up! No way.” He loved my favorite band of all time.

“You like Nirvana too?” His eyes widened and another sweet smile covered his face.

“Yes. Kurt Cobain is the greatest singer/songwriter/guitarist of all time.”

“f**k yes!” He lifted his fist in the air. He immediately brought it down and cleared his throat. “s**t! Sorry. I overreacted.”

I laughed. He was so cute that he could get away with anything. “It’s okay. Kyle and I curse a lot too. Favorite song?”

“Smells Like…” He started.

“…Teen Spirit!?” I finished. That was my favorite song of all time.

“Yes! The guitar arrangement in that song is the most impressive I have ever heard. No one can top that song.”

“I know! And his voice seems so mystifying and enchanting.”

“Yes! Holy s**t! I’m in love!” In a matter of seconds, not really seconds, instantly, his face went pale and completely bloodless. “I’m…I’m…sorry…I should be more careful with what I say.”

I, on the other hand, was ready to throw the table to one side and rape him on the spot, but that wouldn’t be ladylike. So, I took in some deep breaths and smiled gently. “It’s okay. We are both equally passionate about Nirvana.”

“Here are your shakes, guys.” The waitress appeared with our delicious treats. “Enjoy!” Soon, she was out of sight, leaving us in a neurotic and tense state.

“So? You still want to go with me to the dance tonight?” I looked up. Luke was trying to avoid my gaze. His eyes looked sad.

“Yes, Luke. Why would I not go with you again?”

“Because of what I said earlier, and I know you like Josh.”

“Josh?” I asked poking my shake.

“Yeah. It’s a rumor that has been circulating around school, and I know that your best friend likes me too.”

Now, my blood went cold. Breathing became forceful because drawing air from my surroundings was now close to impossible. Luke knew that I liked him. Scratch that, the entire school knew that I liked him! But how? What? When? Where?

“Who told you that?”

“A few guys on the team.” With a single slurp, he drank almost half of his milkshake.

“I…”

“You don’t have to explain yourself. If you like Josh, I’ll move out of the way.”

“I don’t.” But, I couldn’t say the same for the real Kylie.

“Really?” A glimmer in his eyes told me that he was surprised by my answer.

“I don’t, but it’s a little more complicated than what it seems.”

“You mean because Kyle likes me?”

“Sort of…” Mostly because Kylie and I swapped bodies and I’m the real Kyle. I like you, but the real Kylie finds you annoying. But, I couldn’t tell him that. That would be like shipping my little butt to the nearest loony bin.

“Listen, Kylie. I’m not…gay, or I don’t think I…” He gulped loudly, looking a little nervous and uncomfortable, shifting in his seat. “That’s just…not my thing, okay?” He looked away, not wanting to meet my gaze. “I can never be…gay.”

It was worse than a cold slap in the face. It was like getting run over by an entire fleet of war tanks. Luke would never, in a million years, want me. He wasn’t the secret gay guy that would magically turn into my prince charming. He was as straight as they come.

“I see.” Holding back my tears, I continued with my dessert. I was so depressed that I finished it in a matter of seconds. We continued talking about school, but it didn’t feel the same anymore. Something had changed, but it wasn’t his feelings or attraction towards me, it was my feelings and attraction towards him. After we finished our treats, we made our way back to school with my hoping that Kylie had a better time with Josh. But, boy was I wrong.