Love, Joy, Heartache and Pain

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER TWO

The second I regained consciousness, I felt cold, wet and slimy with a sharp pain in my abdomen. For some reason, I also felt light and somehow fuller. I couldn’t remember what had happened as I searched for Kylie. Suddenly, I saw a tiny lump covered in my bathrobe a few feet away. I knew it had to be Kylie. I ran towards her and rolled her over. Instantly, my entire body went cold while goose bumps covered every inch of me. I wasn’t staring at Kylie. No! I was staring at myself!

“No fu--” Wait! Hold up! Rewind! My voice wasn’t my mine. It was Kylie’s. With my hands, I began to explore every inch of my body, tracing my long blonde hair, sexy curves and impressive pair of breasts. In a state of pure shock and nervousness, I screamed my ass off which woke Kylie.

“What the hell! Where am I?!” Kylie exclaimed looking around. The second we came face to face with each other, another round of screams followed. With a swift movement, I covered her mouth with my hand.

“K…K…Kylie?” I asked in shock. Her face was full of unadulterated fear. Even though she was freaking out, her response came in the form of a tiny nod. “Oh. My. God!” I quickly let go of her and we immediately stood up.

“Who the hell are you?! Are you my clone?! Kyle! Help! Kyle! Help!”

“It’s me Kylie! I’m Kyle!” I told her covering her mouth again. She looked petrified, or I looked petrified. “Haven’t you listened to your own voice?”

Kylie froze and glanced down. In a second, she began to touch every inch of her body, carefully feeling every bump and curve. All of a sudden, she rolled her eyes and fell to the floor. And just like that, Kylie was out. I stood up and tried to pick her up, but holy crap was I heavy! I decided that it was impossible, so I ran to the kitchen for a cup of cold water. I threw it in Kylie’s face. When the icy liquid made contact with her face, she awoke. The second her eyes fell on me, she began screaming her ass off again. “Kyle! Help! Kyle! Heeeeeeeeeelp!”

“It’s me Kylie! I’m Kyle! Me, Kyle, you Kylie. I’m in your body!”

She froze and re-examined herself. Her eyes fell on me. “Kyle?”

“Yes,” I whispered with my voice cracking.

“Kyle?”

“Yes.”

“I’m…I’m…I’m in your…your body…and you’re…in mine?”

“Yes,” I uttered in fear.

My answer was quickly followed by more outrageous screams from Kylie. I immediately covered her mouth again, since I didn’t want the neighbors to think that she was getting raped or murdered. “Kylie! Listen to me. You need to relax, okay? I’ll let go of your mouth, but you need to relax. Something weird happened to us, Kylie, and I need you to focus. So relax for a few seconds.”

She nodded with tears rolling down her cheeks. I slowly removed my hand from her mouth, and the girl exploded like a crazy woman on crack. “How the f**k do you want me to relax if I’m in your body and you’re in mine! What the f**k happened?”

“I don’t know, okay, so just chill. No one can talk to a hysterical woman.”

“Woman? I’m no longer a woman you booboo head! I got a p***s! A p***s! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!” Her screams were getting on my last nerve, so I had to do it. I slapped her with all my might. It quickly shut her up. Kylie grabbed her left cheek in disbelief. “You hit me?”

“It was the only way I could get you to shut up, Kylie!”

“I’m going to kill you!” She walked towards me with her right fist in the air.

“You’re only going to kill yourself!” I took a step back.

Kylie stood like a statue frozen in time. Soon she reverted to her panic dance, which was stomping her feet. “Oh-my-god-oh-my-god-oh-my-god! I’m in your body and you’re in mine.” Then she froze again. But the silence was short lived as another loud scream permeated the air.

“Kylie! You need to relax and take a breather. We’ve got to figure this s**t out!” I held her shoulders tightly and stared into her eyes. The look on her face scared the s**t out of me. Kylie was on the verge of losing her mind. “Kylie?” I shook her a little. She didn’t answer or move a single muscle. Her blank look was creepy, cold and lost. I had no idea I could look that scary or crazy.

“Something rubbed against my inner thighs. It feels sticky and soft. What the hell is that?”

I knew what she was talking about, but if I told her the truth, it would have sent her into another panic attack. I needed Kylie to focus. “I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about. Why don’t we sit down for a minute?”

Carefully and steadily, I guided Kylie to the inflatable sofa. Something about that motion made my tummy hurt so much. It felt like my intestines were somehow twisting and bleeding at the same time, like someone stuck a meat grinder inside me and let it rip. I wanted to throw up and crawl into bed crying, but Kylie and I needed to do something about our current predicament.

“We switched bodies,” Kylie told me, still looking dazed and confused as she stared off into the horizon.

“I think so.” Suddenly, Kylie did the unexpected. She burst into a continuous flow of giggles. I’ve got to be honest with you. Laughing Kylie looked ten times more demonic than panicking Kylie. A cold chill crept down my spine. For a few seconds, I forgot about the intense pain in my stomach. Then just as quickly as she started, she stopped laughing. We spent a few minutes in silence listening to the rain and thunder outside. “Kylie?” She turned to me with one of the creepiest smiles I had ever seen. I’m telling you, she looked like a blend of Freddy Krueger and Jason. She lunged quickly at me and grabbed my head.

“Give me back my body you bloody ass!” Kylie yelled while she slammed my head against the sofa repeatedly. I couldn’t fight her. She was stronger than me since she was in my body.

“Kylie! Stop it!” I pushed her with my feet and she landed on the floor, holding her legs while crying. The way she cried, broke my heart. I ran to her and held her in my arms. “Kylie Boo! I’m so sorry, but you need to relax. You’re acting like a crazy bitch.”

“Why? Why me?” she cried. “What did I ever do to you? Now, Josh won’t look at me for sure.”

“I didn’t do this, Kylie. If I knew how to switch bodies, we would have already done so.”

Suddenly, Kylie pushed me away. “Oh my God! Someone put a hex on us.” She stood up drying her eyes. “Yes, someone did this to us.”

“Say what?” Kylie had lost her goddamn mind.

“Yes, Kylee Boo. Someone who hates us did this to us.”

“Who in the world hates us? Nobody even knows we exist.”

“You never know.” All of a sudden, a look of realization covered her face. “Maybe it was those two geeky guys that sit with us during lunch. They’re good with science and shit.”

I stood up. Kylie was talking crazy. “Kylie, I think you just went completely insane.”

“No, I didn’t, you i***t! It had to have been them. They’re probably getting back at us for ignoring them for the last four years. I’m going to kill those two!” She said hitting the palm of her hand with her right knuckle.

“Kylie! You need to focus and bring down your testosterone level!” Whoa, Nelly! I was starting to sound like her.

“Oh my God!” Her face went pale as chalk.

“What?”

“It moved again.” She took a quick glance at her crotch.

I wanted to laugh, but I knew that Kylie was high on testosterone and trust me, that was a really bad idea. Angry Kylie was the equivalent of the Hulk. “That may happen a lot, so be ready for it.”

“Oh my Lord! Would it get…you know?”

“What? What do you mean?”

“You know…” She looked around. “Hard?”

Yeah, I wanted to laugh again, but I had to be mature about our current situation. “Kylie, if I knew how to control it, I would teach you, but it has a mind of its own. Just don’t think about Josh, okay?”

“I’ll do my best.” She nodded fearfully.

“Good. Now that we are in control of our emotions, we need to know what the hell happened to us.”

“I’m telling you, it was those two! I’m going to beat the s**t out of them!”

“Kylie!” I grabbed her by the shoulders. “Be reasonable. Why would they do such a thing? Besides, switching bodies is scientifically impossible.”

“Then, how do you explain our present condition? They’re good with math and science. They must have done this to us. I’ll beat them to death!”

There was no use arguing with her while she was on a testosterone high. Now I knew how women felt about guys and violence. Guys always allowed hormones to dictate their actions by solving everything with fighting. So I tried another approach. “Maybe you’re right, but answer me this: Who was the one banging on the television during a huge thunderstorm?”

Kylie froze and frowned. “Are you saying this is my fault? Are you trying to make me feel guilty?”

“I was just saying that maybe it wasn’t them. That maybe, just maybe, it was the lightning that struck us.”

“Maybe if someone had cable television, we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“Are you admitting that this is all your fault?”

“No. It was them all right. It couldn’t have been the lightning. We all know what happens when lightning touches anything, and we’re still alive. We don’t even have a scratch or a burn. It couldn’t be that, Kyle. Don’t be stupid.”

The girl had a valid point. When lightning strikes you, you basically turn to dust. Maybe it was the fact that we made contact with the television instead of making direct contact with the antenna itself. To be honest, I was completely lost now.

“Josh.”

I turned to Kylie who looked and felt like crap. She loved the guy and he was one hundred percent straight like Luke. Let’s face it, she had more opportunities being a girl, but now, they seemed to have vanished into thin air. I rubbed her shoulder. “We’ll find a way out of this mess, Kylie Boo.”

“I hope so. I really like the guy. He’s everything I want and more. He ignores me and doesn’t even seem to like me. And in all honesty, I like that in a guy. I like to work at getting them, not the other way around. I hate guys that throw themselves at me. That’s why I can’t stand Luke.”

Lucas Edward Johnson. My heart skipped a few beats. I had completely forgotten about him. “Well, look at the bright side of things. My chances with Luke went from zero to a million.” Kylie turned to me with a sulky look on her face. “Too early to joke about it?”

“Yes, way too early.”

“Sorry.”

“What are we going to do, Kyle? We’ve got school tomorrow and I cannot go home looking like a guy.”

“The only thing that we can do now is switch places until we find a way to switch back again.”

“You live my life while I live yours?”

“Yes. You think we’ll be able to pull it off?”

“Well, you know everything about my life, and I know everything about yours, so I think we could pull it off for a little while. But you do know that I have my period, right?”

“That explains the horrible pain inside my stomach.”

“Womb.”

“Whatever, it still hurts like hell. How do you even put up with this pain every month?”

“Welcome to the world of women. Luckily for you, I’m on my last day, so you’ll be feeling much better by tomorrow. I do want you to take care of my period when you get home though.”

I was a little scared now. “Really? How?”

“By changing my pad and stuff like that, you idiot.”

“Shenanigans! That’s disgusting, Kylie.”

“You’ve got to do it or you might get sick or even get an infection. And those are ten times worse than having your period.”

I knew a little about women and their menstrual cycles from Science class, but never in a million years did I think I would have to go though one. I felt lost and very confused on as to what I needed to do. “Okay, tell me what I need to do.”

“Well, once you get home, you need to take out the tampon that you have in and replace it with a new one. The directions are in the box which I always keep on my dresser. You’ll see it as soon as you enter the room. It’s the little green and pink box.”

“Yeah, I think I know which one.” I also knew that the worst was yet to come since I had to insert another one.

“Good. And don’t you touch yourself there. Understood?”

I was appalled at Kylie’s words. Why in the world would I touch myself? “Kylie, I would never do that! You do know I’m gay, right?”

“Yes, but I want to make sure.” She smiled.

“I won’t, promise.” I was a little grossed out that she would even think I would do such a thing.

“And you?”

“Me what?” I asked, looking around.

“What do you have to warn me about? What do I have to do to take care of that horrible thing between my legs?” She made a face that looked like she was eating raw lemons. It made me smile.

“Well, nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Yeah, just don’t get hard or touch yourself.” I grinned.

“How could I not get hard?”

“Don’t think about s*x. If you do, it will react on its own with or without your consent.”

“You’re kidding me right? Does it move?”

“As long as you don’t think about s*x or touch it, you’ll be fine.”

“Okay. I can do that.” She nodded, slightly.

“Okay. It’s almost eleven and you’ve got to go home now.”

“Me? Nope! You’ve got to go home now.”

“Well, yes, me or you. Whatever! I have to go.” We slowly began to make our way towards the door.

“Okay. We can do this, Kyle. I know we can. The keys to my car are in your right pocket. My parents are on another business trip, so only Chachita is home. She should be asleep by now. I left my cell phone on top of my bed, and for the love of God, don’t answer Luke’s calls. Don’t place me in an awkward position with him. Okay?”

“Okay.” My answer came out a squeal since I was a little nervous. “I won’t. My mom should be back by one or two. Every morning we have breakfast together at six, so you’ll have to get up really early. I always make coffee for her. If you don’t, she’ll find it suspicious.”

“Okay. If anything comes up, call me.”

“I expect you to do the same.”

“I will, Kyle.” I opened the front door and stepped outside. The cold breeze immediately greeted me. The storm had died down and everything was soaking wet. “Good luck, Kyle.”

“You too, Kylie.” We shared a quick hug, and I began to make my way towards her new silver Volkswagen Beetle. Everything was going to be okay, or so I hoped.