Under His Protection

Nine

The rest of the day is filled with nonchalant conversation over card games and old TV shows. Landon and I don't talk about our feelings or anything. We just put the kiss behind us and play the role of friends even though I know it's a bit of a lie. When night falls, I'm returned back to the house for dinner. Everything goes smoothly until Crow stops in the middle of eating and looks at me.

"Camilla, I'd like to have a very serious conversation with you. You're about 2 days shy of being here for 3 weeks and well. Your affections haven't swayed towards me. Am I not taking care of you?"

Oh, you've got to me kidding me. Sitting across the table from Crow, his dark eyes stare down at me waiting for me to say something to please him. "I-I just..." I can't even think of a lie.

"It's him isn't it?"

My heart thuds and skips a beat. He knows? My eyes flicker from my plate to him wondering what he is going to do to me, to Landon.

"You're still in love with Ray, aren't you?" Crow presses his lips together and taps his white glass with his index finger.

"Ray?" I ask as my whole body relaxes. He isn't talking about Landon. He thinks the reason I don't want him is because of Ray. Seriously? Not because he beats me and sexually abuses me, but because I'm still into my boyfriend who left me to be taken. This man is out of his damn mind, but I'll feed into it.

"Yes, this just has happened so suddenly and I still think about him. I just wish he would give himself up. I know he still loves me" humph, yeah right. I even find it hard to believe the tone of my own lie.

Crow stands up and stride to me before stopping next to me chair. He reaches for me and caresses my cheek before cupping my neck as gently as a child would touch a baby bird. "I know it's hard, my love. I know this isn't what you wanted, but you have to let the past go because I'm not letting you go. And just in case you've been thinking about getting out of here, I just want to let you know that the only way would will leave the gates of this house without me is in a body bag. You're mine, understand?"

His fingers slowing slide towards the front of my neck before he tightens his grip. I inhale sharply as he squeezes tighter and tighter. My hand flies up to pull his hand away, but his grip is strong. His palm crushes down on my air ways forcing the back of my neck to press against the of the chair. My gasps come in short strained intervals "Crow, please" I rasp out.

"Tell me who you belong to. Tell me that you're mine and will never leave me"

Fingers clawing into his hand, tears break free from my eyes and stream down my face "I'm yours. I swear. I'll never leave you, I promise" I choke out as my air becomes limited. Crow's face is calm yet aggressive as he watches the color drain from my face. "Sweet Camilla. You manage to look dream like even when life is leaving you."

Suddenly his hand is gone and air fills my lungs like cool rain on my skin. I gasp and cough, holding my throat. Crow leans down and nudges my chin up hard to look at him. "Kiss me" He orders and I try to keep my expression from twisting in disgust. Sniffing, I lean in and press my trembling lips against his dry mouth. He kisses me forceful and when I go to pull back and part my lips to breathe, he grabs the side of my face and forces his tongue in my mouth. His mouth tastes of cigars and grime. Vomit rises in my throat and I fight it back. When he pulls back, a smile stretches over his face "So sweet, Princess. Your mouth is a dream. You will bring me great pleasure with these lips." In your dreams, you toad.

After dinner is over, I'm still on edge and half way still crying. I try to keep the tears at bay, but drops continue to flow down my cheeks. My throat is sore and it hurts to swallow. As Crow is about to go to his office, I stop him. "Crow. I think I left my grandmother's ring in the guest house. Can I go get it?"

"Of course. Feel free to stay over a bit. The maids cleaned the carpet in your bedroom and I believe it's still damp. Be back in two hours, Princess. Maybe I'll come kiss you goodnight" he walks off and I turn to go to the back door. As I'm walking across the back yard, the tears flow more. Knocking on the door, I wrap my arms around myself as my body shakes. The door swings open and Viktor looks down at me "Camilla" His eyes flicker from my face to my neck before he frowns hard. He takes me arm, gently and pulls me in. Barry and Anderson come from the kitchen. Barry just eyes me before going to his room. I don't think he is as friendly as the other guys which is why I never see him around.

Anderson takes over, leading me down the hall and into Landon's room. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I tuck my hair behind my ears and sniff "I'm sorry for bothering you guys. I just needed to get out of there for a moment."

Anderson leans over till he is at eye level "No need to apologize, Camilla. You're welcome here anytime. I'll get Landon for you, okay?"

I nod, wiping my tears with the back of my hand "Thank you"

Anderson leaves and walks down the hall. I hear him bang on a door.

"What the hell, man!?" Landon says when the door swings open. I hear whispering before the sound of footsteps come padding to the door. When it opens, I don't look up. I almost don't want him to see me like this. The door closes behind him and when I finally look up, I see that he is dripping wet with a towel around his waist.

"I'm sorry for just showing up." I sniff and a tear runs down my chin, dropping into my chest. I clear my throat, feeling more irritation set in.

Landon kneels down and takes my chin. He lifts my head up and when he sees my neck, I see his jaw clench out of the corner of my eye. "He wouldn't stop. He just squeezed tighter and tighter and-" I shake my head, pulling away from his touch.

I look at Landon through my blurred vision and he looks angry though he hasn't said anything. Suddenly, he stands upright "I'll be back. I need to put some clothes on" It isn't till that moment that my mind reminds me that Landon is a hot guy and I should ogle despite how I feel.

Oh by all means, stay naked.

My conscious blushes like a school girl as I let my eyes roam over his strong abs and back as he rummages through this clothes. Through my state of distress, I can't help but swoon over him. When he leaves the room, I slide back on the bed until my back touches the wall. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I hug them gently as I stare at the wall. If Crow feels like I'm not changing my feelings for him, he will no longer see purpose in me. He'll kill me. Faking it only works so much. Then what?

A few moments later, Landon returns, dressed in pajama pants and a black V neck with his damp hair free of the hair tie he constantly sports. He sits down with a hot mug. "Here's some tea for your throat"

Taking the mug, I sip the warm liquid and it soothes my throat a bit. Landon sits in the bed and watches me drink. When I sit the mug on his desk, I run my finger over my bottom lip. When I look up to thank him, he's eyes are locked into my lips.

"Thank you"

He nods "How did you get crow to let you come here?"

"I told him I left my grandmother's ring over here" I shrug and Landon's eyebrows pull together in a frown "But I've never seen you with a ring"

"He doesn't know that." I force a small smirk. "I have to be back in two hours."

The room falls silent as my eyes flicker from my hands to the wall to the floor to Landon all in rotation. Even not talking, I still feel a sense of calmness. Yet the soreness in my throat and around my neck forces me to replay the scene in my head. My eyes water and my nose tingles as my ears warm red, trying to hold back my emotions. I try to stay silent, but a soft sniffle escapes. Landon looks at me although I continue to stare down at my hands.

"Come here" Landon leans forwards and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me to his side. Naturally, I lay my head on his shoulder. Inhaling, I breathe in his clean scent. I fit into the nook of his side perfectly, like a mold as his fingers graze over my side as he holds me close. "I don't think this is in the friend agreement" I whisper.

"I'll make an exception." He mumbles. Turning his head, his grazes his nose over my forehead before firmly pressing his lips to my skin. The gesture causes me to stiffen and relax a few seconds later. Not wanting to go too far, I keep my hands to myself, not wanting to rub or graze over any areas that would make any suggestions. We're friends. Friends comfort friends in their time of need. Landon doesn't want more because neither of us could handle it. Obviously, is just doing this out of kindness.

"You're over thinking this, Cam. Stop" I lift my head to look at him. "I...I wasn't"

"Don't lie to me. I know what I said and I meant it. I can't let anything go too far, but I still care. If I can offer anything, it's that." His hand presses firmly against my side. Why does his body language not match what he is saying? He wants distance, but at the same time he wants me close. I don't understand. It's a contradiction.

Frowning at my own thoughts, Landon slides down in the bed a bit, leaning his head back to rest against the headboard. He pulls me into him and I turn slightly, nuzzling into his side. Pulling my legs up, they lean against his leg as I lay my head on his shoulder. Wanting to test my boundaries, I hesitantly rest my hand on his chest. Landon's eyes stay closed, but his chest rises and falls as he takes a deep strained breath. Oh, I went too far. He doesn't want that.

Lifting my hand, I let it fall on my stomach "Sorry, I didn't meant to-"

Landon's face hardens and he reaches over taking my hand in his. Palm over mine, he places my hand back over his chest, leaving it there. When his hand leaves mine, he drapes it over my thigh. A shiver runs over me and chill bumps rise under his touch.

He knows what's happening and he chooses to stay in place. Why? Clearly this is jumping so far over the boundary line. We're cuddling. Cuddling! Friends don't cuddle like this! Not my friends anyways. I don't see Anderson and Viktor in here snugged up together. Why? Because friends. don't. cuddle.

I swallow a giggle at the image of Anderson and Viktor in this position. Two manly men with beards and muscles. Viktor is the shorter one so of course he would assume the female position. Anderson would kiss his forehead to comfort him after a hard game of poker, reassuring him that he'll do better next time. Right!

Under my hand, I feel the thud of Landon's heart beat. Slow and steady. I look up at him and can tell that he is asleep. Long day, possibly. He doesn't seem like the type to get a ton of sleep. He probably functions off of four, maybe five hours of sleep, if that much. Not wanting to wake him, I lay perfectly still as I watch him. Running my eyes over his pinkish lips, I remember them pressed against mine. His defined jaw, clenched gently making me want to run my fingers over it. And his hair, the hair I'm growing so fond of. Dry now with a few strings in his face.

I reach up and ever so gently move them away. Landon doesn't budge. My breath shallows as I fall into a trance, staring at him. Suddenly, his lips part and ever so softly, he whispers "Stop staring at me. It's weird"

My face heats with the embarrassment of being caught and I giggle turning my face into his shoulder. When I look up, he is smiling down at me.

"You flush so easily" he mumbles and I touch my cheek "A downfall of being so fair skinned. My emotions can't be hidden. Sorry for staring"

"I don't mind. Although, Friends don't move hair from their friend's faces."

"Well, it seems like we're doing a lot of things friends don't do at the moment." I bite my bottom lip and his eyes fall from my eyes to my mouth. When I release it, I feel the blood rush back into it.

"It seems we are. We shouldn't be"

I want to hold the comment in, but when my lips part, it comes out "And yet, your arm is still around me and your hand is on my thigh"

Landon inhales a sharp breath "True" His hand on my thigh moves, not away, but to caress my skin. He doesn't move further up, he just stays in what I'm sure he considers a safe zone. A small shiver runs through me and I take a deep breath.

"And yet, you react to it." He mumbles deeply, his warm breath hitting my mouth.

"True" I sigh.

Landon leans in the slightest before he stops. His hand falls from my thigh and he leans back. "I'm sorry"

I frown "For what? You didn't do anything wrong"

"But I did. You get enough from Crow. I shouldn't be....I just shouldn't" Landon runs his fingers through his hair, the look of conflict and strain in his expression.

Clearing my throat, moving a away from him a little. I understand where he is coming from though. Crow spends his days plotting over my body, doing what he wants to me when he wants to. Landon doesn't want to seem like he using me or abusing my vulnerability. That, out of all the other things is the one I understand the most.

"You're not like him" I mumble as I realize his hand his still around me even though there is a bit of space between us. His large hand rested on my side, not moving, just resting. "He has never been kind or caring towards me. I hate him."

Landon looks down into my eyes with all seriousness "And me?"

"I don't hate you. I liked kissing you. But more than that, I liked that you asked to kiss me. Crow would never care" I shrug, picking at my shirt. "All this is just confusing."

When I peek over at the clock a few moments later, I see that I have about 45 minutes left before I have to go back to the house. I roll my eyes and sigh. Landon looks at me "What?"

"45 minutes left." I should be grateful for the time I got to be over hear. If Crow had said no, I'd be in bed right now staring at the walls in boredom like a teenager with a 9:00 curfew. But nope, here I am at 11:15, sitting with a guy because I lied to get out the house. Very teenage like if you ask me. Landon is the boy my parents somehow trust, but I know better.

For the rest of my time, we don't talk. We just sit in silence. Hand around me, his grip firm and protecting as I nit pick with his shirt with idle hands. I think we're both just satisfied with each other's company, something we don't get a lot of here. Just to be in a room and share each other's energy without in lookers or the threat of consequences is comforting. But, oh how much I would love to know what's going on his Landon's head.

At midnight, Landon follows me back to the house where everything is dark and quiet. Looking around, no one is here. Maid and butlers have retreated to their rooms and Crow is probably sleep or plotting. When I get to my room, I turn at the door and lean against it "Well, thank you for spending time with me. I'm sorry again for just barging over there." I whisper, not wanting summon a certain beast from their room down the hall.

"It's okay. You were upset for clear reasons." Landon reaches forward, brushing my hair away from my neck to caress over the bruise. I inhale sharply and my bod tenses. Landon senses this, but his hand doesn't fall. He stares at me and something in my body tells me to make a move. Leaning up on my tip toes, I get close to his face. Inches away from his mouth, I close my eyes waiting for him to close the space. To say I needed him to kiss me would be the understatement of the century.

I wait, wait for his lips to bring me some small comfort, but it doesn't come.

"Cam" He mumbles, guiltily.

I lower back to my heels and open my eyes. When I see his face, so stone like and unmoved, my face heats with embarrassment.

I nod "Right. Not a friend thing. I'm sorry" I reach back and turn the door handle. Stepping back into the room, I bite my lip, feeling lower than low. I thought there was a spark or something spark like, but I was wrong. "Good night, Landon"

"Cam, I-" He starts, but I shake my head "No, I completely understand. It's okay."

His lips press together in a fine line as he watches me close the door. His jaw clenches as I press the door closed, losing sight of him. I lean back against it, sighing. So complicated that one is. I put myself out there and the feeling wasn't reciprocated. I pace to my bathroom, feeling a few damp spots linger in the carpet and flick the light on before peeling out of my clothes. I know he likes me. I've seen his body react to me, yet his mind has a strong hold on his actions. So complicated.

I slip on a pair of regular pajamas, no silks or nighties. Just a shirt and shorts. Climbing into the coolness of the bed, I lay there. Maybe this is like a movie. Landon could realize the error of his ways and knock on my door right now I would open it to have him wrap his arms around me to deliver a kiss that would blow my mind. A sweet loving song would play over the end credits and people would sigh wishing they were me.

Yet as I look around the quiet room, I know this is nothing like a romantic comedy. If anything it's suspenseful, a thriller. No guarantee of the main characters falling for each other in the end. If anything we would shake hands or something. Or maybe I die in the end. Maybe Landon quits and leaves me here. I don't know. It's seems like I'm just the actress and Crow is the producer, director, casting agent, and his own stunt man.

As I lay there, my mind replays the images of Landon's touch. His lips, his hands, his body pressed against mine. An uncontrollable whisper slips from my lips as I turn my head towards the window. Right in that house, he is laying down, most like shirtless. Hopefully without pants too. The light of the moon reacting shadows across his abs and chest.

My hand lands on my stomach and I inch my way down, not sure if I really want to do this. However, when I remember the way his hand felt on my thought and the way he grabbed my side, in hormonal instincts take over. Dipping below the waist band, my fingers slip over the skin of my mound. I had gotten a wax a few days before all this happened and not much had grown back yet. No way was I going to keep it trimmed for Crow.

Crow. I cringe, pushing him far from my mind. This fantasy isn't about him. Frowning, my fingers slip between my folds as picture Landon's body in mine. Peeling off my clothes, kissing over my skin firmly. A wetness begins to develop as I circle my index and middle finger over my sensitive bud.

I will take it whether you're inviting or not.

My breath hitches loudly and I stop, shaking my head. Shaking Crow's voice from my mind. My fingers move again, my wetness making them slick and slippery over my s*x. I sigh and think again Landon pulling my body close and-

By now, you should know that pain only makes me harder for you, baby

No! My eyes open and I pull my hand back, not wanting to touch myself anymore. It feels gross to even associate Crow in this in any way. I can't even pleasure myself with him in my head. f**k! I might as well be a nun.

Rolling into my side, I curl into a ball and close my eyes. A small shutter runs through me as the last thoughts of Landon dwindle away.