Under His Protection

Ten

After my failed attempt of pleasuring myself, I came to the conclusion that I should just stop trying to get Landon to feel something that he never will. He doesn't like me or doesn't want to like me and I have to accept that. But damn it's hard on my hormones. My head is all mixed up with Crow and Landon. My hate for Crow and my l.....lust for Landon. Yeah, lust. Maybe it's because I've been cooped up in here that I'm latching on to the only nice person. Solitude can do that to a person, I suppose.

It's been two days since Crow's hand was around my neck and the bruise is faint, but still visible. The maids look at me like I'm a freaking omen or something. They constantly kiss their cross necklaces in my presence as if I'm possessed or something. I tried to ask one of the maids why everyone kept doing that, but suddenly she lost all ability to speak English even though an hour later I heard her declaring her love her a man while watching her soap operas in the kitchen. Am I an omen? Maybe. Or maybe they just feel the need to pray for me.

When Landon met me at my bedroom to walk me to the dining room for breakfast, he didn't say much, just a simple good morning. Strange, but after almost a month, I'm used to him acting strange. When I sit down to eat, Crow watches me intently as he does every morning. His smug face and evil smirk is the look he wakes up with as if it's permanently attached to his face. It's creepy and downright weird if you ask me.

"Good morning" I mumble as I take my seat as I do every morning. Looking down at my plate, there are pancakes this morning with scrambled eggs and some fruit on the side. He's in a good mood today.

"Morning, Princess." He mumbles "Did you sleep well?"

I nod "Yes. It was fine. You?" I hadn't really meant to ask if he slept well. Frankly, I don't care, but it slipped out. Crow smiles "Very well. Thank you for asking. My Princess is learning good manners." Oh God, don't roll your eyes, Cam. Just smile.

"I am. Thanks for noticing." Now if only he would take notice that I gag every time he touches me. Is that too much to ask? I think not. As we eat, Crow speaks about stocks and money as usual as if I care or understand. I just nod every few words and try not to let my eyes gloss over. I'm starting to get the reason he may have wanted a female companion. He just wants someone who can listen to him talk, but also double as his s*x slave. No woman really wants him and if she does, it must be for his money, but I'm sure he knows that by now. As the weeks have passed, the thoughts of going home have completely left my mindset. As Crow has told me time after time, this is my home now. I haven't even thought about Ray in the past two days. Why should I? It's not like he is going to come swooping in to save me.

I push the thoughts aside as I focus on my food. As I'm lifting the fork to my mouth to eat a bite of eggs, there is a knock at the front door causing my hand to flinch and my eggs to fall off the fork and into my lap. I curse quietly as I scoop them up with a napkin. Before Crow can even get up, the person knocks louder. The maid rushes to the door to open it and when she does, I hear a deep voice "I have an urgent message for Crow"

"I'm here. What is the problem?" He asks as he gives me a look that tells me not to move from my seat. I sit quietly, not being able to hear what they are saying. Something must be wrong. No one ever really knocks on the door or visits. Suddenly, Crow rushes back into the dining room on his cell phone "Get in here now!"

I sit there in silence as Crow's face and neck grow red. "He thinks he can just get rid of me! There is a rat in this house"

I frown wanting to know who this person is and why they are trying to "get rid" of him. Not that I wouldn't mind, but still I'm curious. A few minutes later, Landon comes in "Yes, Sir" His eyes flicker down to me, but they don't stay on me long enough for a connection to be made. Sighing, I look down at my juice.

"Landon, take her. I don't want to see her in this house until I say so. We're doing a security sweep." Crow looks at me in disgust which is a 180 of how he was just smiling at me a few moments ago. Landon comes over to me and lifts me by my arm. "Wait, I have to put some clothes on"

"I'll come back and get you something to put on. Now, come on" He mumbles as he pulls me from the room, leaving Crow fuming with the other man that came in. When we get outside, I cringe at the first snow fall. Its white outside with only little speck of green grass peeking from the white blanket. I pull my arms to my chest and shiver as my house slippers slip into the snow, getting damp. In the house, the warmth welcomes me as Landon tells the others what's going on. I sit down at the table and Landon looks at me shaking "I'll be back with something for you to put on. You can go in my room."

I nod as he leave with the guys and the house falls quiet. Pulling my slippers on, I walk to Landon's room and sit on the bed. I press my cold toes into the carpet and sigh. Always drama going on in that house. Always someone wanting to kill Crow. You think someone would finally get him, but nope. It seems like Crow is always a few steps ahead. He is a paranoid man, but so far it's been working in his favor.

After a few moments of sitting in silence, I hear the front door open. Landon comes in the room with a hand full of clothes. "Here you go"

Taking the clothes, I give a small smile "So what's going on in there?"

"Just a little security problem. Nothing for you to worry about. It's being handled"

"A lot of people don't like Crow" I mumble as I stand, pulling on a pair of thin black tights. Landon leans against the wall and looks at the floor, clearly wanting to be a gentleman and not ogle. As I'm about to pull my night gown over my head, I stop and eye Landon for a moment. He continues to stare down at the floor and I smirk, pulling the fabric over my head, dropping it right at his feet. I grab the t-shirt off the bed and pull it over my head. "All decent" I smile and Landon looks up.

"Well, don't you look cozy" He smirks.

"You would know. You picked them out. I'm surprised you even know how to match clothes. All you wear is black" I scrunch my nose.

"It's easy to wear black. It makes the job more intimidating to people"

"You don't scare me though."

Landon stare at me for a moment before kicking his shoes off "Looks like we're going to be here for a while. You know where the records and guitar are. Make yourself comfortable" He says as he flops down on the bed, sliding his hands behind his head.

"I'll pass on the musical entertainment. I'm still a bit tired." I crawl into the bed with him and lay on my side. "How long do you think this is going to take?"

"All day. He's going to question every employee, every driver, every cook, maid, security officer"

"Not you and the guys?"

Landon shakes his head "Nope. We are completely out of it"

"How?"

"Because we don't know anything. He keeps us in the dark until the moment we need to know something or someone. We never meet the people, but we get pictures and information to familiarize. We don't contact anyone ever"

"So you don't get to talk to family or friends?" I frown.

"None of us have family. He made sure of that. We have no ties to the outside world. I was in foster care most of my life so I have no one. Anderson's only family was his wife and she died of cancer while he was overseas. Barry has been on his own most of his life and you know Viktor's story" As I'm listening, the calmness in Landon's voice confused me. He doesn't sound affected by any of this. It's like he's used to be secluded and alone. He has nobody.

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be. I'm fine. We're not very different, Cam. We're both alone in the world. You have no one just like me"

His words sting a bit, because I always thought that I had Ray and up until this moment, I thought I had Landon. I guess I was wrong. Laying there, I don't say anything as silence falls between us. Staring at Landon, he is looking at the ceiling, his chest rising and falling slowly with every breath. I can't help but think back to the other night when he had his arms wrapped around me. I also can't help but think about how I made a fool of myself trying to kiss him. He turned me down and I'd never felt so much like an i***t. Maybe that first kiss truly was a mistake.

"Landon"

"Mhm" He turns his head to look at me.

I think about how I'm going to start this conversation and my mind goes blank. What do I say? Do I just flat out ask why he hasn't kissed me? I already know why. He doesn't like me and he doesn't want to like me. Simple as that. I shouldn't push the subject anymore just to get rejected over and over again. Don't be a fool, Cam.

"Nothing" I turn my face into the pillow and close my eyes, sighing. A soft chill runs over me and I curl up into a ball. I want to open my eyes to see Landon, but I'm too afraid to see his expression. He probably thinks I'm pathetic for catching feelings for him. He told me that he cares and that's all. Nothing more or less.

I let myself fall asleep since there is nothing else to do. I'm comfortable here in Landon's bed. I've laid here time after time recently and it's become more comforting than my own appointed bed. When I feel the bed move, I open my eyes slightly to find Landon pulling his long sleeve shirt off revealing his bare chest. He pulls a blanket from the closet and lays back on the bed, throwing it over us. "Go back to sleep" Is all he says as the extra layer of warmth covers me.

Continuing my deep slumber, I feel Landon move several times along with my own shifting. Along my right arm, I feel heat and I know he is closer than he was before. Against my own judgment, I slide over and more heat. Comforting heat. Mmm heat.

The heat continues to spread over my skin, bit by bit and it feels like a dream. I dream of fire all around me, getting closer and closer. As the fire heats my skin, I close my eyes and accept sensation. The fire heats me to the core.

Jolted from my sleep, my eyes flutter open and I take a deep breath. Biting my lip, my hand moves to push the blanket off of me only when I look down, there's no blanket on my upper body. There's an arm around me. Landon has me pulled so close to him, his arm wrapped around me like a ribbon, locking me in. I stare at him for a long while as he sleeps, not being able to take my eyes off him. My eyes scan over his lips and my tongue flicks over mine. Why do I keep putting myself in situations that make me pine over this man? You'd think I'd keep my distance, but then again, it's his arms that are around me. He's the one holding me. A smirk spreads over my lips and suddenly, Landon sighs "Always staring" He mumbles, eyes still closed.

"How do you do that?" I say in disbelief.

"It's just a feeling. I can feel when people enter a room and when I'm being watched." Landon opens his eyes and his blue gaze catches me off guard. My lips part and I inhale softly. "I didn't mean to stare. I couldn't help it since you kind of have me locked in."

Landon hand scratches over my lower back. "Sorry. It kind of just happened."

Frowning, I turn my face slightly into the pillow "That's just it. These things keep kind of just happening. It's confusing when you keep rejecting me only to end up in these positions and I know that I may be reading too far into this and maybe you are just nice, but it's giving me mixed signals and I wish you'd just figure out what you want because I know what I want. But when I tried to get what I want you blew me off and I felt like a complete i***t and....and...I don't know" I close my eye even more embarrassed now that I've completely babbled nonsense. Landon probably thinks I'm crazy.

"Camilla" Landon says, but I don't open my eyes. I'm too afraid to hear another rejection speech. His large hand cups my face "Camilla, Please open your eyes"

"Don't call me that. You only call me Camilla when you're angry or about to turn me down. I've heard it countless times now, Landon." I feel my eyes water and I push them back.

"Cammie, please look at me" His voice softens and it draws me to part my eyes. When I look up at him, his deep blue eyes look calm and sincere. No hint of rejection anywhere in them. "I'm sorry, Landon. I'm sorry that I keep bringing this up. I know you don't want this and it's stupid for me to keep reading into signs that may be nothing."

I sniff and Landon just looks at me "Are you done?"

"What? I...I mean....yes, I'm done" I bite down on my lip and Landon sighs "I'm the one who needs to apologize. I keep putting you in these awkward situations and sending mixed signals. I've just been trying to keep the line drawn. I keep crossing boundaries and I feel bad, but then....I want more. But at the same time, with Crow, I feel like I'm pushing you too much. You're vulnerable, Cam. I don't want to confuse you"

Leaning into his touch, I take a deep breath "I understand, I really do and I know the difference between good and bad people, good and bad touching. Your touch makes me want more. His touch....I don't like it. I like you though. If you really don't want this, Landon then I get it. I'm not going to push you to want me."

"But I do want you." He sighs and before I can get a word out, his lips press to mine. Fire, heat, warmth, comfort, and so many other feelings run through me. Realizing how much I've missed his kiss, I lean into him, deepening the kiss. Landon's arm tightens around me and I whimper softly. God, yes.

Taking it further, Landon's tongue finds mine, taking control. In my head, I hear little angels singing in praise that finally Landon has kissed me. Skillfully, his mouth manages sends me into a sort of frenzy. His hand slip up the side of my shirt, caressing my skin with his warm hands. In my head, I keep waiting for him to stop and tell me that this is wrong, but it never occurs. Feeling overwhelmed with giddiness, I pull back and cover my lips with the tips of my fingers, trying to hold back a smile. Heat travels over my face and neck that causes Landon to smirk. Sitting up on my knees, I giggle, leaning over to press my forehead against his bare chest "Landon" I sigh or moan....or both.

As I sit back, Landon cups my face "I've never seen you smile like this"

Covering my face, I snort into my hands "It's embarrassing. I must look like a teenager."

Landon pulls my hands down "You look beautiful and if kissing you will make you smile like that then I'll just have to keep kissing you" He smiles softly before pulling me to him. Kissing him hard, a moan against his lips. Gripping my waist, I feel his large hands grip tighter then loosen. He repeats this a few times before I realize that he is stuck in his head, trying not to go too far. Pulling back slightly, I look into his eyes "I'm not going to break, Landon."

"You might" He whispers, hesitation in his expression. "I just don't want to cross a line"

"I'll let you know if you do."

Landon studies my eyes for a moment before a soft groan rumbles in his throat. Reaching up, he tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear as cups the side of my neck. With his lips just barely touching mine, he catches my bottom lip between his teeth, tugging gently. A jolt runs down my spine and straight to my core. Wiggling my hips, my breath hitches.

Jesus......I don't even know what I want to say. Just, Jesus.

Landon's hand, slides down my shoulders and arm, his thumb trailing down the side of my breast, testing boundaries. When he earns a moan of approval, he places both hands on my hips and lifts me onto his lap to straddle him. As he kisses me hard and passionately, I can feel his walls falling down, but my own? My wall is still standing strong as I hover over his lap, too nervous to rest against him. What am I afraid of? The only reason I can think of is my fear of feeling his arousal below me. How real it will feel. How real this whole situation would feel.

Jeeze, Cam, calm down.

Breaking me from my thoughts, Landon's mouth leaves mine as he trails down my jaw, to my neck. I tilt my head back, letting his have access as my eyes close and I shiver from his hot tongue flicking over my skin. Slowly, I lower my hips and relax on his lap, letting all apprehension melt away as Landon nips and sucks at my neck. His hands slip under my shirt and suddenly, he is pulling it over my head. My body tenses up at the unexpectedness and when Landon tosses the shirt on the floor, his blue eyes catch my gaze, non verbally making sure that I'm okay. No doubt that he feel my body become rigid. I thought I wanted this. What's wrong with me? Biting my lip, my breathing shallows and he leans in until his warm breath tickles over my lips "I will always respect your body" He whispers, deeply.

My eyes water as the realization of how damaged I've become washes over me. "Thank you" my voice cracks a bit and I feel confused. I wanted all these things with Landon, but now I'm too afraid.

Landon pulls me into a strong hug, our heated skin pressing together. His face is rested above my breasts as he inhales and exhales. I've never known a hug to be so intimate, so special, so deep.....so comforting.

His fingers slowly drag across my back as he holds me. We don't talk or make a sound, I just let him hold me, which he is pretty content with despite what I thought. Yes, I thought the man was going to want to ravish me, but that was my own lonely thoughts playing tricks on me. However, being ravished would be nice when I'm ready.

I bite my bottom lip, fighting back a small giggle. Resting against Landon, I nuzzle into his neck, inhaling the light scent of soap on his skin. It's okay to just relax. This is something I can manage. Slow baby steps.

Suddenly, Landon lays back and I lay on top of him. He holds me tighter and when I raise my head to look at him, his eyes are closed.

"Something on your mind?" He asks without looking.

"No, I just....I don't know. I just didn't expect to feel so...." I try to find the words, but they don't come easy.

"Guarded. You didn't expect to feel so guarded. I understand" He mumbles as his fingertips caress up and down my spine.

"Yeah." I say as I lay on his shoulder. "I don't understand"

"Crow has taken a toll on you that you didn't notice, but I did. You've changed a bit and I don't like it" Landon sighs in frustration as I listen. "In the beginning, you had this annoying nagging attitude that wouldn't stop."

"Oh, so flattering. You hated me" I roll my eyes and he sighs "I'm serious. You're different. You don't talk to me like you used to. You don't act the same. I used to admire your weirdness. Hell, you threw a book at me"

"Because you made me angry"

"Exactly, you weren't afraid to show your dislike for any of this. Now, you're quiet and small. He's killing you" Landon's voice sounds pained almost. I never thought he cared like that, but here he is spilling out his whole analysis of me. He's been watching me, studying me while I've been withering away.

A chill rubs through me and I almost want to cry. "You're right, but one thing you haven't noticed is that I become more myself when I'm in here with you."

We stop talking and Landon hum in my ear. All this time I thought Crow was taking pity on me by not killing me, but I was so wrong. He is killing me, emotionally. Crow knows that he's breaking me down bit by bit until he can control me. It's happening and before this moment, I didn't really notice. He's a manipulative beast of a man.

Yanking be from my thoughts, the door opens and I flinch hard only for Landon to wrap his arms around me. I peek at the door and Anderson is standing there with his mouth open "Oooooo, I knew it. I knew it." He shakes his head and chuckles.

"Get out" Landon mumbles, sternly and Anderson backs out of the room "The sweep is still going on so please, don't get up. Just relax." He says as he closes the door. Pressing my forehead against his shoulder, I whimper "So embarrassing"

"You're fine" Landon mumbles as he pulls back and kisses my lips softly.

"But," He starts, "this isn't love, Cam. We're just two people leaning on each other for support. I don't want to make you angry, but I want it to be clear. Support, not love"

I take in his words, expecting to be hurt, but I'm not. Instead, I'm a little relieved. "I understand. I know this isn't love. Just two people who lay with each other half naked. I can handle that. Just don't lose the abs. It's the most appealing"

Landon chuckles and catches me off guard by swatting my backside. I gasp softly and as I go to move away from him, Landon tightens his arms "Nope, don't even think about it. You're on my time and on my time, you're mine"