Wild Wolves

Chapter 2 – Unbreakable bond

Jude’s POV

I lay in Axel’s form in a secluded alcove I had made my home. I found I was more comfortable this way. He made me shift from time to time. I had ignored him for the best part of the last, however long it had been since the accident, months, I think. The sun was slowly rising, and I waited for him to speak. I said I would listen. I’m listening.

‘I have accepted that you needed time. No child should have to go through what you have, and you have suffered great loss. However, don’t underestimate your capabilities and strength, Jude. I am here for you, but you need to be here for me too. I am also alone out here, and I am starting to struggle to keep my sanity. If you don’t sort your s**t out, we will turn feral, and there is no going back.’

‘I’m sorry, Axel, I really am. I have been selfish.’ I sighed. ‘What can I do to help?’

I could feel the depth of his anguish as the guilt of my behaviour seemed to suddenly dawn on me. Mum, Dad, and Rae would not want this for me. They would be mortified if they knew I had wallowed for so long and put myself at such risk.

‘We have been blessed by the moon goddess herself. I doubt she had ever intended us to be in this position, but now that we are, we need to survive, grow strong, think smart and good things will come.’

I sat and listened as Axel told me about the moon goddess, about the wolf kin, our beginning, the world of werewolves I had thought was a fairy tale and who I really was. Grams, mum, and Dad were all wolf kin too, and so was Rae. It baffled me to think why no one had thought of mentioning it!

This would have been a lot easier to accept had I known one day I would turn into a wolf and have a voice in my head. He told me Rae was special too. Of course, I had always known this. Like me, she was strong-willed and stubborn.

However, she was kind, thoughtful and, most of all, fiercely protective of those she loved. Moreover, sometimes she could just be fierce, whereas I was a little quieter, albeit just as headstrong. Rae lacked confidence in herself, which I often found odd. She was smart and capable.

Unlike Rae, in school, I was quietly confident in myself and my abilities, and I had always known I wanted to be a doctor. I was smart and medicine fascinated me. That was never going to happen now. I tried not to dwell on it. But Axel was right. I was strong, and I could and would get through this. If for no other reason than to make my family proud.

I was glad I had Axel now, the part of me that was able to make me see reason and sense. The angel on my shoulder led me to be better, do better, and survive. Make the best out of this shitty situation and, hopefully, one day return to my Grams and Gramps. After all, I was all they had left.

‘You said we were special, Axel. We are blessed. What did you mean?’

‘When the crash happened, I was ready to come to you. You see, a human’s wolf counterpart is always there. You were born with me. However, we stay dormant until our human turns 13. The first full moon following the 13th birthday, we present ourselves and have our first shift under the moonlight.’

‘But I’m 14. Why didn’t you show yourself before?’

I could feel his wry smile as he contemplated my question. ‘You weren’t ready, Jude. You knew nothing about who you were or the ways of our world. I was always there, but I suppressed myself and our abilities until it was time.’

‘And that time was at the crash? Coz seriously dude, waking up as a wolf scared the crap out of me. I’m not gonna lie.’ I blurted out.

He laughed, ‘No, it wasn’t like I had intended, but had I not taken over, you would have died. We have the ability to heal like no human.’

‘Did Rae have a wolf?’ I asked sadly.

‘I don’t think so. If she did, I couldn’t sense her.’ Axel said with almost as much sorrow as I felt.

‘Why didn’t she have one?’ I asked with a bitter undertone to my anger. ‘She should have had one!’

‘I don’t know the answer to that question, Jude. The truth is, I am not entirely sure she really is dead.’

‘What do you mean?’ I asked with an excitement I hadn’t felt in months.

‘When you suffer great loss, we feel it more than humans. I felt the loss of your family. However, You and Rae were twins and connected more than most siblings. I didn’t feel the loss for her as much as I had thought I should.’ He paused, ‘but I could be wrong.’

‘If she is alive, we need to find her. Where would she be?’ He wasn’t wrong. She wasn’t dead. I just knew it.

‘Before we go searching for something that may not be real, I need to tell you a little more about myself.’

‘Axel, how do you know all this? If you have been dormant for 14 years and have only just become an active part of me, then how do you know so much?’ I was intrigued.

‘Ah. Well, as I said, we were blessed by the moon Goddess. Not just with the gift of medicine and healing, but with much, much more. You see, I once roamed this earth before. I was only a young man when I died. However, my death was at the hands of a brutal man, and all because I had tried to save the life of another. You see, I was a newly qualified doctor, they had brought into the prison the man my sister, Zasha, was mated to. I knew they had killed her to weaken him, he was a threat to them, and it broke me. They had threatened my life too if I did not carry out the mercilessly treacherous experiments on the man grieving before me. He was broken, but I could see his fierce and unquestionable fight to make those that killed my sister pay. So instead of hurting him, I helped him. They found out. They killed me before I even had a chance to free him.’

‘So many questions!’ I heaved as I tried to accept and understand the things Axel was telling me.

‘Yes, I can imagine he chuckled at my response to his tale, ‘but I am sure I will answer them all.’

‘How? How do you even remember this? I thought when someone was reincarnated, they forgot their past.’ I mused.

‘This isn’t quite the same.’ He said thoughtfully. ‘The moon goddess was horrified at what had happened. That those created in her image had gone to such lengths to gain power by force through their own greed. She offered me a new life in a new time, years from then, to heal and help her children, as I had always wanted to do. I agreed. I wanted nothing more than to spend my days helping in any way I could. She told me I would remember who I was, only because of the knowledge I had gained while training as a doctor. However, she allowed me to keep one memory for myself. That memory was of the day Zasha found her mate, the same day she died, the day Eero was brought to the cells and the day I tried to help him.’

‘Why did you choose that memory?’ I asked curiously.

I found it odd that anyone would want to remember so much death and destruction, not only of his sister but of himself. If I had been given the same opportunity, I would remember a happier time with my parents and my sister.

‘Because I knew it would be important. I don’t know why, but I did. The moon goddess told me she would pair me with a special shifter. One who was equally gifted and together, our abilities would be enhanced. She said we would have an important job, and that we would know when the time came to show people what we are really made of. So, you see Jude. You must survive. We must survive. Our destiny is already written in the stars.’

His sheer determination to do what the goddess had granted him his second life for was enough to make me swim out from under the depth of the water and be the human counterpart he needed me to be. If the goddess chose me, then she believed in me. I had to believe in myself.

Over the coming weeks and months, finding Rae and reuniting with Grams and Gramps had never been far from my thoughts. However, it was essential I gain strength, agility and skill in both my human form and my wolf form.

If I was going to go out into the world and show myself, I had to be prepared. I had to be able to protect myself. I had no one to rely on but myself and Axel. While we were both relatively new at this, he had been more helpful than I could have ever hoped for.

We hunted, trained, and learnt how to use some of the abilities we knew we had. The most useful being the enhanced self-healing, which Axel told me was more proficient than a normal wolf, as well as the ability to hide my own scent.

This came in handy for not only hunting, but for hiding, and fighting. I wasn’t a fan of fighting. However, I knew I had to learn to defend myself. Occasionally, a larger animal would try and attack me, but I soon learnt, after some nasty injuries, the best way to fight.

Winter came and went, and as springtime came around once again, we agreed it was time to find Grams and Gramps. If anyone knew where Rae was, it would be them. She may even be with them. I was excited at the thought.

I knew it would be a shock to see me after all this time. However, if Grams was wolf kin as Axel had said, then it shouldn’t be as much of a shock to her as it was to me that I had turned into a wolf. She may even be able to help me understand why my parents had failed to mention it.

Axel and I started on our perilous journey. I knew where they lived, and it wasn’t far from where I had grown up, but it was a long way from here. It would be quicker in wolf form, although more dangerous. However, despite having turned 15, I was still a child, and I was travelling alone.

This was equally as dangerous, but for very different reasons. I had no money, no ID, and no clothes. During our time in training, Axel and I went to my old home. It had been ransacked and there was little left. I had wanted to get a few things, but instead, I fell asleep on Rae’s bed.

I woke to the sound of chattering and when I peered through the window, and an estate agent was at the door with a man and a woman, a man in the front garden was putting up a for sale sign. I jumped to my feet, ran down the stairs and left via the backdoor without looking back. It was no longer our home and I had nothing.

We agreed to start the journey at dusk. Travelling through the night in wolf form. When we got closer to the towns and cities, I stole some clothes from a washing line and travelled through the day in human form. It was exhausting and long, but finally, I had made it.

It was late at night, and I knew they would be asleep. I planned to knock on the door first thing in the morning. I didn’t want to startle them this late. I was tired and didn’t have the energy to explain where I had been, and what had happened.

We had hidden about a 20-minute walk in human form from the house. The town was relatively small and nestled within the countryside. I found a safe spot and curled up into a ball, falling into a deep and much-needed sleep.

I woke early the next day and was starving. Axel wanted to hunt, but I was eager to see Grams and Gramps. Grams made the best home-baked fresh bread; I was salivating at the thought. We made the walk to the town, just as the sun was rising.

Nervous anticipation and anxiety spread through me like a wildfire, as smoke billowed into the sky. I could smell the burning before I had even reached the lane where the small row of detached homes where they lived was.

The closer I got, the more I feared what I was about to see. The lane suddenly seemed bustling with people and vehicles which I had not intended to see. Being a small town, my presence would surely be noticed. I needed to get closer to see which house was on fire. The thought tore me up.

There was nowhere to hide coming from this direction. I turned and ran before anyone could spot me. I circled around and jumped the fence into a nearby field. I shifted, which was risky out in the open like this, but I crawled along the hedge row, keeping as low as I could, hoping it was still too early for dog walkers.

As I approached the back of the house, my heart sank. There was little left of the charred and burnt-out home that had once been that of Grams and Gramps. With my enhanced hearing, I heard the neighbours in the garden next door talking about how lucky they had been, that their house had not caught on fire.

I begged them to mention my grandparents. But when they did, I was sorry. They had removed two bodies from the building, and they were so burnt they were unidentifiable. However, they had been in their bed together, so it was deemed with certainty it was them.

If only I had come sooner, then neither one of them would have died. I would have woken. I could have saved them. I slumped to the ground and sobbed. ‘I didn’t feel the pain you said. Why didn’t I feel the pain?’ I asked Axel through my tears. ‘Maybe we are dead inside.’

‘Jude, I felt something a few days ago. Remember when we were hunting in that forest by the lake, and I had to rest? I thought it was exhaustion and hunger.’ He said with sorrow.

‘I felt that too. It was probably just that, Axel. This clearly happened last night when we slept. We felt nothing. We are broken.’

‘No. We are not. We have each other. We have an unbreakable bond. We will get through this. Just you see!’

We didn’t have time to waste. Being here was dangerous. We left immediately and made the long journey back. We spent the next few years living in the wild in the surrounding areas, the only place I felt close to Rae.

We had tried to find her but really had no idea where to look. We didn’t even really know if she was alive. In order not to go feral, during the day, I would go to the scrap yard at the far end of the town and do odd jobs for the guy that ran the place, Billy.

He was good to me and knew I needed the money. As I got older, I told him a little more about myself, but not enough for him to know who I was. Occasionally he lets me sleep over at his. He was a kind old man and had a soft spot for me.

Having human interaction kept me sane, but living in the wild and being one with Axel was where I was happiest. It had been 4 years since the accident, and traditionally, I made my way to the spot of the accident to remember my family.

However, this time was different. I got a waft of a scent so familiar it made me smile subconsciously. Axel’s tail wagged and I could feel his excitement. He had told me about mates, but I didn’t think, being out here alone, I would ever find mine.

‘Is it our mate?’ I asked, unsure.

‘No.’ he said sadly, 'We will both find out when we meet him.’ He grinned happily, his tongue hanging out.

I had known I was gay before the accident had ever happened. The only person that he knew was Rae. She didn’t judge me. She said no one else would, but I wasn’t so sure, so I had kept it to myself. When Axel told me about the mate bond, the thought excited me, until I realised I would probably never find mine.

‘Then what is it?’ We followed the scent all the way to the accident site and saw on the floor, a young woman sobbing.

‘Jude. Is that…. Rae?’ He asked in shock.

My heart started to pound and realising I was in wolf form, having not seen her in 4 years, I didn’t want to startle her. I couldn’t shift, I had no clothes with me. So, I hid and watched and when she turned around, I knew without a doubt that it was my sister.

We followed her and found where she was living. I saw Grams on the back porch. She looked frail, but much the same. I had been gone so long that I didn’t know how to tell them I was here and alive. For a few days, I watched them, hoping to find the right time to reveal myself.

As the days went by, no time ever felt right. The longer I watched them, the more I realised they had moved on. They were happy, settled and had a life together. Rae had no abilities that I could sense or tell. Axel couldn’t sense a wolf, nor did she smell like one and I had never seen her shift.

It was then that I decided showing up would do more harm than good. Coming back into their lives would turn everything upside down and the last thing I wanted to do was cause them problems. Instead, I would come and check on them every once and a while to make sure they were okay.

As the years went by, I would visit a little less. I had found a small group of rogue wolves who had taken me in, despite my refusal to be a part of their pack. I think the only reason they didn’t kill me was that I saved the lives of more than one of their members. I was handy to have around.

It was only when they asked me to do them a favour that things started to go horribly wrong. I was struggling to accept that little had changed in my life after all these years. I had no mate, no friends, no home, no pack. My family was happy without me, and I was alone.

My gifts and abilities had come into fruition on my 21st birthday, but unlike the tale Axel had told me about the great things we could and would achieve, we were mediocre. Mildly better than that, at best. Yes, I had saved lives, but I was no more skilled in healing others than any doctor.

I felt despondent and lost. So, I accepted the deal they offered me. A few days later, I met Isha. That was when everything in my world seemed to come crashing to a point of no return. I had sold my soul to the devil, and I was in the depths of hell fire up to my neck.