Chapter 1 – The Accident
Jude’s POV
10 years ago
I was paying no attention to anyone as I stared aimlessly out of the window on our way home. I was pissed off with Mum and Dad for moving us here. Rae and I had been happy. We loved our school; we were doing well, and we had friends. Now we had to start all over again.
Uprooted for no good reason I could think of. That was the last memory I had before the crash. Chastising my parents. As the car jolted and spun out of control, my stomach churned and lifted as my body was raised from the seat and my head smashed so hard against the window, I was knocked clean out.
When I woke up, I had no idea how long I had been here. My head pounded and I felt sick, dizzy, and weak. My vision was blurred, but I could feel the earth beneath me. I was no longer in the car. I had no idea how I had come to be here. My window was open, but I had my seat belt on.
As I tried to focus and move, a voice in my head softly spoke. ‘Don’t be afraid Jude, but I am Axel, your wolf’
‘Great, I have a head injury and I have gone insane.’
‘You do not have a head injury. You have a mild concussion from the collision. You do, however, have a serious abdominal wound. A tree branch caught you through the open window and I need you to lay still so I can heal you. We don’t have much time.’
‘Much time until I die?’ I panicked, not considering I was talking to myself.
‘No, I can heal you, but I sense others nearby. Give me a few more minutes, Jude, to stop the bleeding and then I need you to hide so I can recommence the healing process.’
‘Others? They can help us! What about my sister and my parents’?’
‘The others will help them, but they can not help you. You will die if I don’t heal you, Jude. Your injuries are extensive. Please, trust me. I need you to stay in my form.’
I didn’t understand what that meant. Why couldn’t the others help me? If they could help my family, then they could help me. The pounding in my head intensified and I could feel the bile rising from the pit of my stomach.
I tried to move my head, but it felt heavy and… big. I was lying on my side, and I could smell, I could smell everything. When my eyesight finally came back to me, everything was crisp, bright and unbelievably clear. Confused by this, I tried to stand.
It was then I realised I couldn’t. Not because I was paralysed, or injured, but because I didn’t have arms or legs. I had paws. ‘What the f**k!’ Panic and fear flooded through me, causing me to wobble while I was on all fours. ‘What is wrong with me? What am I? How? How? What?’
‘JUDE!’ the voice shouted. ‘Calm down please, this is not helping. I will explain everything, but please, you are okay. I just need to heal you enough so you can return to your family.’
I didn’t listen. I wobbled over to the car, scared, and praying my sister could help me, but when I jumped up on my hind legs and peered through the open window in the car, she barely looked alive. My parents were clearly dead. I wanted to help Rae. I needed to help her.
‘They are here, Jude.’
I listened and, even though the voices seemed quite far away, I knew my grandparents were there. How did they know? They couldn’t see me like this. They would freak out. I am freaking out. What happened to me? I ran. I ran until I could no longer run.
I don’t think I ran that far. However, I wasn’t sure. I was exhausted and in immense pain and I was petrified of what had happened to me. I curled up into a ball under some foliage and passed out. Hoping this was all some kind of a dream. Everything will be okay when I wake up. Everything will be okay.
***
I felt groggy when I woke up. My head hurt a little, but nothing like I had remembered in my dream. I slowly opened my eyes, wondering what I had eaten to cause such an intensely vivid dream. Only when my eyes eventually got used to the bright sunlight streaming over me, I realised not only was I under a bush, but I was also naked and had no idea where I was.
I sat up confused. I rubbed my eyes and looked down at my stomach. There was some mild bruising, but nothing to suggest I had a severe and life-threatening abdominal wound. I must have been so caught up in my dream, that I sleepwalked here. Mum and Dad were not only going to kill me, but they were also going to be worried sick.
‘It wasn’t a dream, Jude. Remember me.’
‘Go away. You are not real. La la la la la, I’m not listening.’
‘For the love of the Goddess. JUDE! I know we are only 14 but dude, get a fvcking grip. You are wolf kin, and I am your wolf, Axel. Now let me take over so I can show you the crash site! Maybe then you will believe me.'
I growled. I actually growled. I rolled my eyes at myself. I had officially gone insane.
‘Idi0t. You didn’t growl. I did. Now let me. TAKE. OVER’
The voice in my head pushed forward and my entire body seemed to be in an internal battle. I fought the voice in my head, but it was no use. I lost. I heard a chuckle of victory as the voice won. However, what came next threw me into complete shock. And denial.
My bones started to crack and become misshapen. I stared in horror and disbelief as fur sprouted from my skin. It was painful and slow, and I wanted my mum. This can’t be happening. My entire body shuddered under the intensity of the transformation.
‘This was much easier when you were unconscious’. The stupid voice in my head was not helping.
It seemed to never end. I collapsed on the floor in a heap and cried. I don’t remember the last time I cried. I didn’t need to open my eyes to know what I was. I didn’t need to see the crash site to know it was real. I was devastated.
My parents were dead. I had no idea what had happened to Rae, and I was alone in the wilderness. I had to change back and find what was left of my family. It was too much. It was all just too much. ‘I’m sorry about your parents, Jude. But we will be okay. I can help find Rae. Let me help.’
I felt completely despondent. I retreated into myself and found my limbs moving without doing anything. I was conscious and aware, but it was as if I was in the recess of my own mind and the sensation was bizarre.
I didn’t dare to open my eyes and find out what was happening. I didn’t want to be afraid, but I was. As I tried to pretend this wasn’t happening, I felt an overwhelming feeling of calm energy spread through me.
‘What was that?’ I couldn’t help but ask.
‘I am just trying to ease your torment, Jude. You are a part of me, and I am a part of you. I feel your anxiety and I want to help you. I am here to help you. Open your eyes. We are here.’
I appreciated his calming voice for the first time since he had spoken to me. I no longer believed I was insane, but I certainly knew I was different. I listened to him and opened my eyes. The car was exactly as we had left it.
The only difference was that Rae's passenger door was open. As we walked slowly around the wreckage, I could still smell the scent of my family, mixed with the iron tang of dried blood. I knew, however, that none of my family was here.
As I made my way around the car, Axel stilled. He sniffed the air. ‘What is it?’ I don’t know how, but I knew something was wrong. I could sense it from deep within.
‘You feel it’ he said with a hint of a smile. ‘We have to go, someone is coming.’ He picked up a scarf that had been Rae’s in his mouth and darted away from the car and hid.
As two men approached, we lay in the bushes in complete silence. When they spoke, I felt sick. My entire family was dead, Rae was dead. I stifled my cry as I took in the news as the men argued. They thought I was dead as well. One of them wanted proof and to find my body. The other guy scoffed at the idea.
The lazy one won the argument, and eventually, they walked away. As Axel remained hidden in the bushes on the forest floor, I allowed my tears to flow. I really was alone now. I wallowed in self-pity for as long as Axel allowed me to.
‘We must eat, Jude. We must find somewhere to sleep and a freshwater resource if we are going to survive.’
‘Maybe we can find Grams and Gramps?’ I suggested with hope.
‘These men want you dead, Jude, and if they find out you are alive, they will hunt us down. You heard what they said. We could put your grandparents in danger. They are not like you and me.’
He was right. I didn’t want them to be in danger either. They may think I am dead, but if they found out, for whatever reason, that I wasn’t, I was an easy target. I was young, inexperienced and had no clue what was going on.
‘Food, water and shelter, it is then.’ I sighed, feeling like the entire world was against me.
‘Let me take over again.’ He demanded more than asked.
‘I didn’t know I was in control’ I stated flatly. This was going to be rough.
He pushed himself forward, and I immediately felt the difference. I wondered when I had taken back control. He didn’t give me a chance to think about it too much as he darted back from the way we came. This time, with my eyes open, the experience was entirely new.
It was thrilling and a rush of adrenaline tore through me as we leapt and bounded through the forest. I felt alive. A wave of guilt tore through me as I enjoyed the feeling. How could I allow myself to be happy when my family are dead?
The mix of emotions that I felt seemed to drain me of all my energy. I suddenly felt tired and heavy. We slowed, and in the corner of my eye, I saw a squirrel. Axel saw it too, he lay still in the thicket, seemingly ignoring my inner turmoil.
He edged forwards, as he stalked his prey. Just as I had seen wild dogs on documentaries do it. Only they were usually in packs, and we were alone and completely inexperienced. I had little faith that we would catch the squirrel.
Equally, the thought of eating it didn’t exactly appeal. I mean, I am not a wild dog. I may look like a slobbering dog right now, but I was a 14-year-old boy. I wanted a juicy burger and fries. My mouth salivated at the thought.
‘Jude! You are not helping. We are hungry, and this is the only way we are eating today. So, stop making me feel insignificant and insecure. We need this. And you will eat it any which way we can because without it we would die. And for the record, I am not a slobbering dog. I am Wolf Kin, and we are special. So, you had better start toeing the line or you and I are gonna fall out. And trust me. I can be an asshole when I want to be.’ I huffed at the intrusion, not my thoughts as a loud growl came from Axel. ‘There goes our dinner!’ he scoffed as the squirrel scarpered away.
‘Sorry’ I apologised rather pathetically.
I felt him roll his eyes. ‘It will be easier at dusk. Let’s find somewhere to set up camp. We need to be near water.’
We continued our journey, taking in the sights and sounds around us. I was more than aware being close to the town was dangerous, but Axel had assured me we had to remain hidden even when out here in the outskirts because there were wolf shifters in those parts.
‘How do you know?’ I was surprised there were more like me.
I don’t know why I was surprised. It seemed logical that I was not the only one. However, neither of my parents were like this, or so I had believed, so I was a little confused as to how I was. I had no idea what was really happening to me, or why, and no way of really finding out, unless somehow Axel knew. Which I found difficult to believe because he just turned up yesterday.
‘I could smell them. Those men by the car. They were werewolves. I can’t give you all the answers that you seek, Jude. We may never know. However, I can tell you what I know. But first, we must….’
‘Yeah, I know, find shelter, water and food.’ I finished his sentence for him.
It wasn’t too long before we found a spring on the furthest edge of the mountains. There was a small alcove on the side of the mountain which looked dry and sheltered enough for us to rest. As dusk came, I was sleepy, and I ached.
I knew the trauma from the accident had taken its toll, and I assumed the whole turning into a wolf thing had added to my exhaustion, as well as lack of sustenance. I just wanted to sleep. Axel, however, had different ideas.
Unable to deter him from allowing me to sleep, we went out to hunt. We were terrible at it. Every time we found something to hunt, it escaped. I was beginning to give up hope, and I was so desperate to lay down and rest.
My eyes felt heavy, and I could see the sun starting to rise. It was dawn already and I had been awake for almost 24 hours. Axel slumped to the ground on the forest floor and groaned. I knew he was feeling it too. We had better learn to get better at this or we were going to starve to death.
Just as we had given up all hope, a rabbit literally walked straight in front of our noses. Without thinking, Axel pounced and tore off its head. I had never felt relief like it. It was carnal and brutal, but it felt good.
Axel devoured the small creature in seconds, and I felt my belly full. It was heavenly. But it wasn’t going to sustain us for long. We went back to the small shelter we had found and collapsed in a heap on the floor. Sleep consumed me.
When I woke, the reality of what had happened over the last 2 days seemed to hit me like a lead balloon. It was more than I thought my soul could handle. For the days that followed, all I allowed Axel to do was hunt, feed us, drink, and sleep.
Our communication had dwindled as I slowly understood how to control his ability to overtake my mind and force me to shift. He was a beast to be reckoned with, but so was I. I was strong-willed and stubborn and in a deep depression. Days turned into weeks.
I missed my family. I missed Rae. It felt like a part of me was missing and knowing I was unable to find Grams and Gramps until I was sure there was no one looking for me was eating me alive. I was lonely, and I wondered what the point of my being alive was.
‘Enough now. I’ve had enough. I have given you time to grieve Jude, but this isn’t just about you anymore. I am here. You are not alone. I don’t want to die. I need to tell you what I know.’
His strength and determination shocked me. ‘Fine. I’m listening.’
I was sulking at his forcefulness, but deep down I didn’t want to die either. I wasn’t sure how long I had been in a state of disregard, days turned into night, and time seemed to elude me. However, I knew, with the changing season and the warmth of the days as they arrived, that it had been quite some time. I was ready to hear what he had to say.