Wild Wolves

Chapter 3 – Burden

Calian’s POV

Flashback - 10 years ago

I was from a small healer pack, and we were not wealthy. I lived in a basic house, with my mother, father and two sisters. I was 8 years old and had become accustomed to sleeping under my bed. I wanted to be a fierce warrior, but instead, the world scared me. I felt safer under the bed.

My father was kind and mild-mannered. My mother was much fiercer. My sisters were protective and loving and much like my father. I wanted to be like my mum, I wanted to have some fight in me, but I was weak. My father said I was sensitive and humble, which was a good trait.

It didn’t feel like a good trait when I woke up to the sound of my mother screaming hysterically and the sound of my sister's crying. I was confused and thought it was a nightmare. It was a nightmare, only, it was real, and I lay frozen in fear as my body trembled.

Tears threatened to leave my eyes, but my Dad’s voice came into my head. ‘Stay under the bed Son, I am coming. Don’t let them find you’ his voice was breathless, and I could hear the terror.

‘Daddy, Mummy is screaming. I can hear Darla and Eloise crying.’ I said, pathetically unable to move even if I wanted to.

‘I’m coming back for you. Be strong for me.’

The bedroom door flung open, I curled into a ball. From under the bed, I saw two large feet, “Where is the child?” His loud booming voice echoed, and the cries of my sisters quietened, and my mother’s screams ceased.

“He isn’t here, he stayed with a friend last night” My eldest sister's voice sounded out, shaking and nervous.

The man huffed and slammed the door shut. It shook in its frame at the force of his motion and the muffled cries of my family faded. I never saw them again. When my father arrived, I was still under the bed, lying in a pool of my own urine. Tears streamed down my face in the silence. I wanted my mum.

‘Calian, come out, we need to go’ Dad’s voice was different, hollow, desperate.

I shuffled out from under the bed, and stood in front of him, looking like the pathetic wretch that I was. ‘I’m sorry daddy.' I couldn’t look at him as I stood before him, having failed as a son and a brother in my wet pyjamas.

He knelt down and wrapped me in his arms. ‘You are alive my boy, you did well. We have to hurry now though.’ He said as he handed me some clean clothes and I changed quickly.

He scooped me up ‘close your eyes son. Keep them closed until I say otherwise. Promise me.’

I nodded and then wrapped my arms around his neck, my head lying on his shoulder as I saw my room retreating as he snuck down the stairs. As we reached the back door, I opened my eyes and saw the blood. So much blood.

My breath hitched ‘Daddy, where is mummy? And the girls?’

‘In a better place,’ he said with sorrow.

‘Can we go to be with them, in a better place?’ I asked innocently. ‘I want to be with them.’

‘So do I, son, but now is not our time. We have been blessed with our lives and we need to make them proud.’

I didn’t know what he meant then. I didn’t understand. I never forgot his words. When we had left the confines of our home and managed to get to the border of our territory, he put me down. We looked back over at the pack, and a fire now consumed some of the houses.

“Say goodbye Calian. We are not coming back.” His voice cracked, and I knew then that we were never going to see my mother and sisters again.

We travelled day and night for what seemed like weeks. I had no idea how long it had really been. When I was tired, I got onto my dad’s back, and he carried me. He was exhausted, and so was I. He hunted, but I couldn’t eat the meat raw. I slowed him down as he had to cook my food each day. It was scary and I missed my mum and my sisters.

I had dared not ask again about where the better place was. Occasionally I thought I wasn’t allowed there because I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t want to be bad. Eventually, we came to a small mountain pass, and in the distance, we saw a new pack. It was bigger than our old one. Wearily we started to make our way towards it.

“We can ask for refuge here.” Dad asked. It was the most he had spoken in the last few days.

I simply nodded as we kept going. My limbs felt weak, my body ached, and I was so tired. We made it to the road that was inbound to the centre of the pack, and when we arrived, the sun was just rising. A man walked towards us, just before we had reached the main living area.

“Trespassers are not welcome here” he boomed. “Why are you on my land?”

His voice terrified me, and as he looked me up and down, a small smirk played across his lips. “We seek refuge”. He had no fight left in him. He was broken.

“Hmmm. Okay.” The man’s tone changed, and the look of surprise on my dad’s face was evident.

“Really? Thank you so much. We will do whatever it takes to become a valued member of your Pack Alpha.” He submitted it in front of the Alpha. For the first time in weeks, my Dad had hope in his voice.

“Good. I like a man willing to do anything for his family.” He had a glint in his eyes.

At the time, I believed he saw this as an honourable trait. Looking back, I realise he saw it as a weakness. He used my father's love for me against me. His blood was on my hands. For what followed in the next few days was the end of my life as I had once known it.

***

‘Alpha needs me to do a job for him. Then we can be a part of his pack.’

We had been put in a small cottage on the outskirts of their pack. We were fed, watered, and given clean clothes. We had showered and changed and were now on our way to meet Alpha. It was still light outside, but it was almost dusk.

We had been told to follow the tree line at the back of the cottage, ensuring we were not seen. The pack seemed quiet, and we didn’t hear much going on. We arrived at the location Dad had said the Alpha had told us to go to. We sat on the verge in between the trees and waited.

When Alpha arrived, he was alone. Dad told me he had to do a job for the Alpha and then we would be welcomed into their pack. I didn’t fully understand what was going on when the Alpha told my father he needed to make the car crash.

“You will do it, by any given means” the spittle around his lips clogged into the corners as he growled menacingly at him, and I ran towards my dad.

I wanted to be near him. He had told me to lie low, but I was scared. I was always scared. The Alpha grabbed me before I reached my father. “Daddy” my lower lip wobbled, and I could feel the tears bubbling in my eyes.

Alpha smirked, his eyes cold, “Do it, or it all ends here. Don’t think I won’t. You are a rogue now and you are trespassing on my land. The council will see it my way. Now be a good father. Do this one thing, and you can both live comfortably in my pack. You will be well rewarded for your service.”

My Dad looked scared; I had never seen him look so fearful. Even when we left our old pack, when he was heartbroken, sad, and defeated, he wasn’t scared. He looked over at me, pity in his eyes. The Alpha pushed me to the ground and shifted. He stood over me and snarled at my father. Dad had now shifted and was in his wolf form.

Dad hesitated, but Alpha stepped forward and nudged him, snarling viciously as he did. I crouched down low, and Alpha’s wolf stood over me with a wry smile playing on his lips. I watched in confusion and disbelief as my father bolted down the verge and straight in front of a car.

He lay on the ground unmoving. My heart hurt. I knew he was gone. The sound of the impact of the car hitting him would play through my mind for the rest of my life. The car spun out of control and hurtled down the verge. I wasn’t watching that though. My eyes, instead, remained focused on my father’s lifeless wolf.

Dazed and in shock, I remained unmoving. Why did he do that? Was I such a terrible son, that he would rather be dead than with me? The light was dimming as dusk drew in, and the Alpha jumped from his position above me. I was too scared to move. Alpha leapt down the mountainside and dragged my father’s body away.

Alone once again, the tears started to fall. Now, what do I do? I didn’t want to go with Alpha. I didn’t want him to return for me. As I sobbed, contemplating what I was going to do next, a young female wolf stepped towards me. Unlike the domineering presence of the Alpha, this Shewolf had kind eyes. Like my sisters.

She nuzzled me and licked the tears from my face. I knew she wanted me to stop crying. She made me feel better. I wanted to be good. I wanted someone to love me and look after me and tell me I wasn’t such a bad person. I stifled my cries for her.

She nudged me to get onto her back like my father had so many times before her. But another car arrived, and we both stilled as we watched Alpha get out of the car with some other men. When it was safe, I climbed onto her back, and she took us away.

We arrived at the back of a small house and hid in some bushes. She shifted before me and spoke softly. “What’s your name?”

“Calian” I replied, feeling no reason to lie to her. She looked about the same age as my eldest sister, Elosie, and like her, this girl seemed to want to protect me. She had a sadness in her eyes which I knew reflected my own sorrow. “Thank you for helping me. Will you stay with me?”

I didn’t want to be alone. “I’m sorry Calian, I can’t.” Her words cut me deep. I didn’t want her to leave me. “You will be safe here.”

“How do you know?” I wanted to believe her, but it felt like a long time since I had ever felt safe.

“I just do.” She replied. She had hope in her eyes.

For some reason, I had faith in her. “Okay. I trust you.”

She promised to stay in touch with me, visit, and look out for me. She told me I was in the human town and must keep my secrets close to my chest. She left me with Val, her uncle Billy’s friend. But I soon realised Billy was not related to her. Over the years, Isha kept her promise, and we became firm friends as she mentored me on the side to become a strong and independent wolf.

Val was a wonderful woman. I loved her and she adored me. It took me many years to become less fearful of the world, but with Val’s love and support, Billy’s humour and fatherly advice, and Isha’s training and constant encouragement, I became more confident and carefree.

Billy was the only one that knew about me and Isha. He never told me how he knew, and Isha and he never let up on the pretence that she was his niece, although I knew this wasn’t true. I never pushed it. I was grateful to have them all in my life.

I had always joked I wished Isha was my mate, but the truth was, she was more like a sister to me. I imagine Eloise would have been much like her. Feisty, smart, calculating and fierce, with a protective nature and kindness like no other. I wanted to be more like Isha.

I wanted to prove myself and be brave and strong. I wanted to protect her as she had protected me. She never told me where she went when she disappeared on her missions for the Council. She already feared she had told me too much.

But she knew deep down I would never betray her. She saved my life, took me somewhere that was safe, and I was loved. She trained me, kept her promises and I would do anything for her. That was, until she disappeared without warning or communication.

The feeling of being abandoned all over again surfaced. The last time I saw her I was not yet 18. She told me she would return when I came of age when my abilities came into force, and she could help me hone my skills and the things she had taught me. She never did show up, so I did it by myself.

Almost a year went by, and I had heard nothing from her. It was the longest she had ever gone without sending me word she was safe and okay. Billy told me not to worry, he said she was alive and well but busy. She had never been too busy before to drop a message or check-in.

Val wanted me to further my studies, but I had other ideas. While out on a late-night run, I bumped into another wolf. I was just on the boundaries of his territory, but not yet in them. He didn’t care, he went straight for me.

We fought, and he was good. But I was better. I didn’t want a war on my hands or my life to be in danger, so when I pinned him down beneath me, my hot breath fanning his snarling jaw, I went in for the kill. He whimpered, and instead of tearing out his neck, I bit it, warning him I could have killed him if I had wanted to.

I jumped off him and shifted. He was pissed off, but probably more embarrassed. He shifted and looked around. “There is no one else here.” I started firmly, with more confidence than I felt.

“Who are you? and where did you come from?” He asked dubiously.

“My name is Calian, Calian Greenwood. I don’t belong to a pack, but if you are looking for an additional warrior, and your Alpha will accept me, I would join your pack.” I tested the waters.

Isha had told me all about the packs around here. She told me they were all bad. I believed this to be true. However, I also had spent the last 12 months allowing the festering anger of my past to build inside me with no Isha to keep me level-headed, and I wanted blood. Specifically, that of Alpha Aldine.

The only way I was going to get the information and additional training needed was to be a part of a pack, and this seemed like as good a pack as any. “Come by in the morning. 10 am. I might just have the perfect solution if you kept your mouth shut about this little indiscretion.” He said with a slight undertone of a warning.

“Secret’s safe with me,” I said, unable to keep the smirk from my lips.

Val always said my cheek would get me into trouble. He did not look amused. “My name is Robbie Masters. You’ll do well not to cross me, Calian, I am the Gamma here, and if you want to be a warrior in this pack, you’ll do well to know your place. You surprised me tonight. Don’t think for a minute you will be able to do it again.” He all but spat at me.

“Yes sir.” I submitted, despite the overwhelming feeling in me not to.

I knew I was on dangerous ground. I needed him more than he needed me. However, that will change. I knew I was stronger and more capable than he was. I knew I could have him in submission whenever I wanted to, but I wouldn’t. Not yet anyway.

I returned home and snuck back into the house as I always did. In the morning, I woke early with a spring in my step. Val was in the kitchen making breakfast and I walked up to her, towering over her, no longer a weak and pathetic child. I hugged her and kissed the top of her head.

“Morning,” I beamed.

She laughed in delight as she turned to look at me, eyes as bright as mine. “Calian, what has got into you this morning? Finally, stopped pining for Isha?” She teased.

Ordinarily, her teasing would have caused my teenage childish ways to huff and argue. I had been pining for her, but not in the way Val thought. I missed Isha. I loved her like a sister, and she meant the world to me. But she had let me down and I was angry and hurt.

“Actually, I have a job interview,” I beamed.

“Really? Where?” She looked dubious.

I didn’t blame her, I hadn’t mentioned I was even looking for work, of course, because I wasn’t. I had to tell her something though. “I applied ages ago, I didn’t think I got it. I got an email yesterday and I called them this morning. They want me to go in at 10 am.” I lied.

“That’s great! So, tell me all about it!” She said excitedly as we sat and ate breakfast together.

I told her it was a security company, but if I got it, I would be in training for some time and then would be sent to different locations as they needed me. I would be able to send her some money to help, but I would bed and board with the other members of the security team, so I would only be able to come home and visit occasionally.

It was the best lie I could produce on the spur of the moment. I went upstairs to get ready, but I didn’t miss the look of both pride and worry in her eyes. I knew she wanted more for me than I could ever have had without her, but she would miss me.

I would honestly have had nothing without her, and I made sure she knew I would never forget what she had done for me. However, I was 19, and I needed to move on with my life and I couldn’t do that without avenging my family first.