Falling For My Best Friend

Chapter 3

I feel it too.

That flash of heat when I touch her- it sends sparks running up my hand like it's a charge through my copper veins.

I know she doesn't notice, but I pull my hand back and stare at it like it's a mutant. Like I'm a mutant.

Peridot jumps away from me and lunges for her phone. s**t, I think. Did I hurt her? Did I say something? I'm frantically trying to replay the events that just occurred in my head to pinpoint the exact moment I f****d up, but I'm shooting blanks. Was it because I touched her? I touch her all the time! What's different about this time?

In a desperate attempt to calm her, I attempt to lock eyes. That usually works, because she has a hard time breaking eye contact once she creates it. Except her eyes are too frantic to focus on anything in the room for more than a second or two, and they dart from side to side too quickly for me to grasp. She looks like a frightened animal.

"I should go," Peridot whimpers, clearing my house like a track star. I squeeze my fists. What did I do wrong?

I watch her as she disappears down my street. The bold writing on the back of the coat that once welcomed me into the swim team now mocks me as it fades from my sight.

There's a tug in my gut that makes me want to follow her, but I fight it. I don't exactly know what I did, but it certainly warranted some space between us.

I settle down on my bed, and thrash around a bit in the covers before I'm comfortable. I don't have swim practice to look forward to when I wake up thanks to the ill-timed meet, and I don't have any weekend plans. I was going to ask Peri if I could crash at her house, but it's pretty damn obvious that she's not an option right now.

I groan and shove my face into my pillow, trying my best to clear my mind and relax.

My thin pillowcase is dark and warm, just like Peridot's room. I try to pretend I've got her nauseating incense clogging my nose, and manage a weak smile. It's pretty sad, but it beats facing the realization that I'm alone and that I've successfully scared off my best friend.

My empty house replies: "Just like you scare off everybody".

I tell it to f**k off, because I'm having an angsty teenage moment and it's being f*****g rude.

"Lick this," I say, grinning. The warm afternoon sun beats down on my dark shoulders, and I'm successfully frying like a well-done fish stew pizza, but I've never felt more at ease.

Pearl scrunches up her face and quirks a brow. I waggle the ice cream in her nose once more, urging her to take a bite. "Come on," I whine.

I worry a bit for her. She never eats, like ever. The only thing I've ever seen her regularly consume is the seemingly endless collection of Altoids she carries around. And it shows. She's a sentient beanpole, with a lithe figure and jutting shoulder blades. She's the type of person who you never want to bend over, because her spine stretches against her skin and it looks like it's going to snap if she goes any further.

Pearl's face is red as she takes a tentative swipe at my dessert with her tongue.

"Happy?" She asks, trying to seem miffed.

"Happy," I affirm, taking a monstrous bite of the cold treat.

We're still trying to get the hang of this dating thing. Since our first date a week back, we've gotten progressively more relaxed around each other, but we're still more awkward than an accidental s*x scene in the film your parents picked out for movie night. It's not as if we haven't met before- this is just new territory.

I mean, we've been co-piloting astronomy club as since seventh grade. In fact, our friendship is almost as long-lasting as my friendship with Peridot.

I cringe at the thought. Peridot is still refusing to talk to me.

Well, she hasn't outright refused- it's technically been more of a mutual ignoring match between us. But it's still bothering me. We've always pushed through our arguments before (and trust me, we've had our fair share of arguments) but this is different. What happened wasn't a fight, and it wasn't an argument. I don't really know what it was, to be completely honest. And I don't know how we can patch up a hole that doesn't exist.

But I'm not thinking about Peridot right now. I'm thinking about the beautiful girl in front of me.

Pearl shudders and takes a bite out of a chocolate donut. I follow her tongue as she licks the excess icing from her bottom lip, finding my brow to be subconsciously raising in interest.

"What?" Pearl asks, covering her mouth with her hand. She slips a breath mint from her purse and pops it in her mouth, chewing with a stiff jaw.

I give her a low chuckle and squeeze her palm. "You're kind of gorgeous," I explain, earning a laugh and a gentle slap on the shoulder.

"Stop that!"

"It's true!"

We break off into silence. I watch the sun entertain a playful game of hide-n-seek behind the clouds, and I pretend to miss it every time it disappears within the herd of cumulus'. I kind of envy it. I can't imagine how nice it must feel to just hang around with no agenda. I sigh and lean on my hand.

Pearl tilts forwards and blinks, pulling her hand from mine to brush my cheek. I whip my head up and find her eyes. Big, blue, and expressive. Too full of emotion to hold even the ghost of a secret. They hardly hang on to mine for a moment before darting elsewhere. So unlike Peridot's which just burn into my skull until I turn away.

"Hey," Pearl whispers. "Are you alright? You seem a tad, how do you say, out of it?"

I shrug. "I'm alright."

Pearl shakes her head. "What's the matter?"

I feel a spike of agitation and rip away from her hand, "It's nothing!" I growl.

It's only when Pearl reels back with an expression that's a mix between fear and anger do I calm down. I take a weighted breath and force myself to relax. "Sorry."

Pearl almost says something, but decides against it and tentatively presses her long fingers against my arm. My ice cream drips over my hands and legs. I lick off the melted food and take a bite of the treat. My heart's not even in it enough to make a lewd joke about the white stuff dripping all over me.

I sigh, standing up and throwing the rest of the waffle cone and half a scoop of vanilla into the garbage can with much more force than required. I plop back down on my seat and shove a sugar-coated finger in my mouth.

"I'm sorry if I-," I cut Pearl off before she can finish.

"No! No no no!" I yelp, so loudly that she jumps. I don't want her to think that my shitty mood is her fault. In truth, my attitude-milk has been expired since last week, and if anything, she's the employee that keeps editing the "best-if-purchased-by" date.

There's an extended silence before I speak up again.

"It's Peridot," I admit. "She still isn't talking to me. I don't know what I did." I take my slobbery hand from my mouth and rub it on my shorts. Pearl shakes her head and hands me some napkins, her face twisted up like she swallowed a lemon. "Sorry," I shrug, accepting them. Pearl nods in approval as I conceal my gross fingers in decorative napkins.

"From what you told me, it's quite clear that you aren't the problem," Pearl huffs.

"Yeah, but that's just my version of the situation. Peridot sees things differently." I grumble, knitting my brows. Peridot's always had a different way of experiencing things than me, and it's half the adventure figuring out what she's feeling, because she's not vocal about these things. Like, at all.

"Right," Pearl grumbles, unimpressed. "Like how she saw us not working out. Before we even went on a formal date."

"Hey, ease up," I warn. "Ignoring me or not, Peri still outranks you in the list of Lapis' Bitches."

Thankfully, I manage to squeeze a laugh out of Pearl and the tense wire between us slackens. She finishes her donut and brushes the crumbs off her sundress with those dainty fingers and a look that a suburban mom might give to a spaghetti stain on the counter. She throws the box away and returns back to her chair, laying her head down on her arm. She extends a hand and I dutifully take it, immediately using my thumb to circle the back of her palm.

Wow, she looks stunning. It's not my thing to take time and appreciate the way light works, or how colors mash together, but if I were a photographer, I'd've filled up a camera roll and a half by now. The sun reflects off of Pearl's pale skin and blue dress like it was made to do so. It's a crisp, clear quality that tastes like ice water and smells like grass.

Pearl glances at me again with those crystal eyes and her lips quirk up. I feel my heart racing like I'm in the middle of a relay and falling behind.

Wow, I'm super lame. No wonder Peridot doesn't want to talk to me.

"Hey," Pearl mutters, breaking me from my trance. "I'm sure she'll come around. You're best friends, right? And if she doesn't, then you-," Pearl sits up and points at me with her free hand, "-are going to have to relinquish your pride and be the bigger person."

"Will do," I laugh, bastardizing the stern expression gracing her features. She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. "Aw, come on, Pearl. Love me," I croon.

"You're so strange." She huffs, though there's no real venom in her tone.

Suddenly, She's grabbing my hands and pinning them down on the table. Before I know it, she's leaned over and pressing our chapped lips together.

I yelp and push back, eyes wide. My breath hitches.

My body suddenly feels very cold, like it's being isolated within a vacuum. I can't feel the gentle breeze brushing my hair out of place, or the sun searing the back of my neck. I can't feel anything except for the pounding of my own heart. My eyes are wide, and I'm wheezing through my nose.

I'm trapped.

"O-Oh! Lapis, I'm so sorry! Did I do something?" Pearl says frantically, yanking me from my disassociation. I shake off and take a deep breath to calm down. I put on a cocky front to hide the spots in my vision behind. And I wait until I can feel the burning sun on my skin to speak.

"I-I was just taken by surprise," I tell her, my voice wobbly and counterfeit.

"Besides," I smirk, my voice regaining it's tone, "I like it better when I'm the one in control."

With that, we're kissing again, but this time it's me pinning Pearl's hands to the table and my body leaning forward. She whimpers into my mouth, and I eat it up. If there's something that Peridot would hate to hear, it's that I've been taking every chance I get to shove my tongue down this girl's long, pretty throat.

I love her when she's like this. Melting into a kiss and caring less about what anyone nearby thinks. She tastes like breath mints and sugar, and a musty hint of something that I can't place. And that's something is addictive like nicotine, because there's nothing I want more than to breathe it in and never stop.

"Lapis!" Pearl whines when I hang on to her cherry gloss decorated skin with my teeth for just a moment before transitioning from her lower lip to her neck. She squirms and I let out a laugh, easing off of the rough stuff to give her gentle pecks. We're in public, I remind myself, save this stuff for the National Geographic nature documentary.

Pearl can't talk right for a solid ten seconds afterwards, blubbering about something or another. I'm sure she drops the phrase, "You're so beautiful" at least twice, though, and it just makes me smile harder.

"Just shut up, okay?" I take her hand again. She nods, furiously red and still overwhelmed from my little ambush.

"Will do! Affirmative! Not a problem! Ha! Ha!"

I let her go on with her rambling, and begin to drift in thought. I almost want Peri to catch us here- kissing and holding hands and doing all that other weird couple stuff she hates. Maybe then she'll see that Pearl's not a bad person for me after all. At very least, she'll get jealous that she's not the only person I can have fun with.

Maybe I shouldn't be thinking about my best friend while I'm on a date with my girlfriend.

Yeah, that's probably a good game plan.

And yet, I wonder what she would say if she caught us. Knowing her, she'd just hustle off again with some bullshit excuse. Maybe even with a snarky one-liner. Her cheeks would heat up, and maybe she'd tuck her hands into the pockets of my swim team jacket (I mean, if she's wearing it, of course). I wonder if she'd even say anything. Maybe she'd just hide back behind the Big Donut and leering at us before storming away.

I scrunch my eyebrows and stiffen up, turning around. Did I just hear the Big Donut's door bell ring? I twist around in my seat to steal a glance, but there's nobody there.

"Lapis? Are you alright?" Pearl asks, breaking out of her stuttering as concern shines through. I offer her a smile and pretend that she's the one at the front of my mind. It's not hard.

"Oh, I just thought I saw something back there. It's nothing." I can tell she's skeptical. s**t. "Must've been a reflection from your radiant skin," I add quickly.

It's a weak hook to change the subject, but Pearl bites anyways.

She rolls her eyes and runs her fingers through my hair before getting up. "Let's head to the beach." She suggests.

I smile and comply, letting her take my hand and drag me close to the ocean. There's that inexplicable tug in my gut once more, but this time, it's connected to Pearl, and it pulls us together as we head towards the shore line. I see it as a brilliant red string that ties around our hands and necks.

Still, I'd enjoy it more if it wasn't so knotted with my other worries right now.