Falling For My Best Friend

Chapter 2

I stare at the chipped wood of Lapis' front door, shifting from foot to foot. I debate just walking in like I usually do, but for some reason I have reservations about it now. I really don't want to hear about Lapis' date with Pearl- not unless it went worse than an attempt to build the Library of Alexandria with fireproof wood.

Admittedly, I'm a pretty bad friend.

I tighten my grip around Lapis' bathing suit and swallow my pride, knocking on the door. When there's no immediate response, I distract myself by checking my notifications on my smart phone, flicking from app to app restlessly. God, what's taking her? I slam on the door with my palms again (partly because my knuckles are kind of sensitive and it hurts when I knock to hard with them), and it swings open. I stop myself just before I smack Lapis square in the face.

She stares at my hand for a moment before quirking a brow. "Since when do you knock? For a second there, I thought you were one of those happy looking guys with the pressed shirts and bibles."

I can't find a witty reply, so I just shrug. "Common courtesy exists," I respond dryly, tossing her the still-damp suit.

"Because you're totally the epitome of good manners," Lapis rolls her eyes.

I c***k a smile and flip her off, shoving past her in a much more typical fashion and making myself at home. Her house used to freak me out, because it looks like a photograph taken from a Home Friendly magazine come to life, but over the years I've become accustomed to the stainless white furniture and room symmetry.

I ruin the Feng Shui of her model home by kicking off my sandals haphazardly in the doorway. Lapis shoots me a dirty look before methodologically fixing them on the shoe mat. She hates when I mess up her parent's precious order, and that's why I do it. Because I like pissing her off, and more importantly, I like pissing off her parents.

Like I said, I'm a pretty bad friend.

"Come upstairs," Lapis commands. I follow her like a dog on a short leash as she leads me up the carpeted steps and into the big blue paint bucket she calls her room.

Everything is blue, from the walls which are a muted powder, to the plush carpet, which is a deep royal. Her bedspread is a plain navy, and the blinds are the same brilliant faded shade as her hair. Along with being completely blue, it's also the messiest room in the house. It's the only room Lapis lets herself be messy in, and it shows. Clothes blanket the floor, and crumpled papers with rejected song lyrics are heaped up against a corner. Her guitar is the only thing with a sense of placement, leaning against her closet doors and secured in its case.

Since my room isn't much neater, I don't say anything as I brush the stale chip crumbs off her bed to make space for myself. I rest my elbows on my knees and force a cocky smile.

"So, how was f*****g the teacher's pet? Painfully unsatisfying, like I assume it would be? Let me guess- she tried to catch up on her homework halfway through?"

I fake some whiny moans while holding my nose to mock Pearl, "Ah~ an e-endothermic reaction is- oh my!"

Lapis goes bright red, as expected. It's pretty damn funny, because while the prospect of Lapis actually making Pearl whisper sweet algebraic nothings into her ear sickens me, I can tell they didn't do anything too lewd. I can see the frog eyes of my sports bra showing through her thin shirt.

"Shut up!" Lapis whines, crossing her arms and stuffing her bathing suit in a random drawer. "We didn't even- you know!"

"Right, and I didn't eat a whole box of donuts before coming over," I retort, wondering for a brief moment if I should proud of that accomplishment.

"Dude," Lapis shakes her head at my retort, looking thoroughly disgusted.

Lapis crashes on the bed next to me, crossing her legs and running her hands through her hair in excitement. "Seriously though. Pearl's just- ugh! She's perfect!" Lapis smiles and wraps her arms around her chest to contain herself. I feel my stomach drop.

"Oh." I manage through a painfully forced grin. This is not what I wanted to hear.

"Yeah. She took me to the music shop a town over and we just listened together for hours. She even likes the same kind of stuff I do!" Lapis explains, unable to sit still. "I mean, her rock palette is a little bit unrefined, but I can fix that no problem!"

"So the princess likes rock, huh…?" I choke out. Something in my throat feels like it's burning, and I think I'm going to empty my stomach of that half-dozen pastries.

"Loves it," Lapis sighs. There's this airy quality to her voice that makes me quiver. Pearl said she talked about me often, but I highly doubt she's talked about me with that dreamlike tone.

"That's nice," I sneer. I want to get out of here. This house feels like it did the first day I came here- cold and overwhelming. I eye the door nervously, plastering a scowl on my face.

"Hey, are you alright?" I'm drawn from my thoughts by her voice and a snap of her fingers.

"I'm fine."

"Hey, look at me," Lapis murmurs, and I turn my head only to be trapped by those dumb blue eyes. I try to neutralize my scowl as much as possible; I try not to betray my emotions. I'm usually so good at this, but not this time.

Lapis tilts her head and purses her lips. "What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Something's wrong, Peridot. I'm not as stupid as you think I am."

"I never said you were stupid."

"You insinuated- wait, no! Don't get off topic. Come on, I can't help you unless you tell me what's up," Lapis reasons. I shrug.

"It's nothing. I just- uh- I'm just dreading this thing I'm doing later," I lie, trying to keep a straight face.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" Lapis doesn't look fooled in the slightest, but at least she's offering the better of her doubt.

I think hard. What could I possibly be doing? I don't have any friends. She knows this. "I'm, uh- I have this thing I have to go to."

"Like what?"

I panic, eyes flickering around the room for some sort of focus point. But everything seems to be swirling as if it's melting around me. I squeeze my eyes shut and grit my teeth. "It's a family thing. You wouldn't care," I say, and I wince because it sounds like a snarl. I pull my hand away from hers and use it cross my arms.

Lapis looks sufficiently hurt, but she does her best to brush it off. "Alright, I guess. I'm not gonna make you talk to me if you don't want to. Do you need a jacket for when you leave?"

I frown as I suddenly notice my shivering body. Goosebumps paint my arms and I stiffly rub my cold hands over them in a vain attempt to make them withdraw. Despite the vicious heat that made me sweat earlier today, it's rather chilly out now, and I'm aware of the temperature slipping lower with every passing minute. I'd definitely like something heavier on my shoulders for the walk home.

"Please," I respond, yielding to the frost of the night air.

Lapis digs through her heap of clothes scattered among the floor before digging out a big blue zip up. It's her swim team jacket, and to prove it "BEACH CITY HIGH SWIMMING" is plastered on the back in bold white lettering. Thanking her, I accept the clothing with unsure hands and try to fix it around my body. I'm a tad skinnier than Lapis, but I'm fuller around the chest and hips, so the thin fabric stretches awkwardly as I zip it up.

"I know it doesn't look like much, but it's sort of designed to keep you warm. Just give it a few minutes to adjust to your body temperature, alright?" Lapis explains, reaching forwards to fix the crooked shoulders. I recoil in shock, because her fingertips feel like white hot metal as she touches the exposed area between my collarbone and shoulder.

What the hell? I try to regain my composure, but the room feels like it's warping around me, and I feel like I went one too many times on the Teacup ride at Funland.

"I should go," I choke out, snagging my phone from her bed and stumbling out her door. I land myself outside her house in ten seconds flat, and I can feel her deep blue eyes burning into the back of my coat, so I don't dare turn around. I brush my long fingers over the spot where she touched me and wince. It feels like I've been scorched. What's wrong with me?

I heave a sigh. There's something about today that's really messing with my head. To be frank, I just want to go to bed and forget about everything that's happened. Maybe then I can reset myself and go back to not caring about Lapis. Maybe then I can stop making a mountain out of this blue-haired ant hill.

I can't pinpoint a word to describe the intense tugging in my chest. It's far too alien and strange. But to be fair, almost every emotion feels strange to me.

Like in the sixth grade, when I was convinced that I was a robot because I never smiled, never laughed, never cried, and hardly talked. I liked to pretend that my braces were the external wires jutting from my hard drive and that my glasses were the circle-rimmed eyes of a cyborg. I remember sitting alone at lunch and sketching overly detailed anime eyes in my notebook with half a chicken sandwich in my mouth. I never minded the loneliness much, though. If anything, it just felt natural.

I remember Lapis Lazuli sitting next to me for the first time. Her eyes were still young with the featherweight of childlike wonder, and her hair hadn't been cut or dyed yet, so it was in a long black ponytail. She plopped down at my table and began to sullenly eat her lunch. I'd asked if she was waiting for a friend or something.

"Nah. Mine are just being jerks. You don't mind, right?" She'd quirked a brow, a quizzical look I'd soon memorize.

Wordlessly, I'd shrugged, despite her presence actually bothering me quite a bit.

I figured that her fight with her friends would be temporary, akin to all middle school fights, but it wasn't, and she ended up sitting with me for the next four weeks without fail. We wouldn't share too many words, but she'd occasionally comment on my art.

Eventually I got a little dependent on seeing her at lunch. I wouldn't feel quite right unless she was across from me, silently gnawing on the toxic cafeteria food and complaining about how I never drew the rest of the face.

One day I decided that I would confront her about it.

"You're still fighting with your friends," I had stated with an air of skepticism. She shrugged.

"They're stubborn."

"One month of no talking stubborn?" I asked.

"Um- yeah."

I scowled. "They sound like assholes. Why don't you patch things up?" Deep inside, I hadn't wanted her to fix things, because that would mean that she'd leave me and I'd go back to being all alone. But I figured that I should get rid of her before she really grew on me, because I knew that the longer I held on, the more it would hurt to let go.

"Because."

"That's a dumb answer, you clod."

Lapis slammed her fist on the table. "God, Peri! If you want me to leave, just say so!" And then, she stood up and threw her lunch away- even though she hadn't eaten anything.

I was taken aback- I had never seen her act out or raise her voice. I had sort of picked up the assumption that she was a robot, just like me. Except maybe a prettier model. It was my first time understanding that I was talking to a human. A human with flesh, and pumping blood, and emotions that begged to be released. And as I first felt the beginnings of an emotion indescribable at the time, empathy, I think I started to realize that maybe I was a little bit human, too.

The next afternoon, I waited for Lapis to sit down in front of me with her lunch tray and for all of this to have blown over. When she didn't arrive after so long, I glanced around the lunch room for her. Nothing. I couldn't catch her long black hair or her favorite blue hoodie for the life of me. I knew she wasn't absent- I'd seen her in the halls earlier that day.

And then something clicked, and I realized that she was avoiding me.

Against my better instinct (and the rules), I snuck out of the cafeteria and hurried to the girl's room. I didn't really know why at the time- it just felt right. When I walked in, I was greeted by Lapis Lazuli, who was sitting on the gross tiled floor, and shoving a spoonful of peas in her mouth. I pursed my lips and stepped forwards.

"Lapis?"

"Go away."

"What if I need to pee?" I asked, cracking my first human smile ever. Lapis' head whipped up, eyes wide as if she couldn't believe that the sixth-grade robot had made such a joke.

"Go in the boy's room," Lapis suggested, the hostile tone in her voice fading.

"And how am I using the urinals?"

"Dunno. Like a regular toilet, I guess." She smiled and then looked back at the floor. "Really though, you should go back to the cafeteria. You're missing lunch."

"I don't want to." I tapped her gently on the shoulder as a cue for her to scoot over. Lapis complied, although with hesitance.

We said nothing for a while. I had no idea how to handle this precarious situation, and neither did Lapis. We hadn't really any experience with these things. Eventually, she spoke up.

"You know they call you a bunch of bad stuff, right?"

"Who?"

"My friends. Ex-Friends."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced a weak grin. "Oh yeah? Like what?"

Lapis shoved another spork full of peas in her mouth. "Like," she chewed and swallowed, "they call you the r-word and stuff. They think you're a freak."

I felt my chest seize. I already knew that they talked behind my back, but it still hurt. "Oh."

"Yeah. And that's why I sat with you in the first place. They dared me to. It was supposed to be funny. But it's not, and now you probably hate me." She clenched her fist and looked up at me. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. It's- it's different now. You're not a freak, you're cool and you draw really good, and sometimes you make funny jokes without realizing it and- y'know?"

I had wanted to get mad at her. I wanted to stand up and abandon her- friendless and sitting on the bathroom floor. Maybe then people would make jokes about her. But I fought the urge. I didn't want to play robot anymore.

"It's fine. I should've known. You can sit with your friends now. I don't care." I mumbled, even though I so obviously did.

"No, I don't want to anymore." She had announced. I knitted my eyebrows and looked up, catching her gaze. For some reason, I couldn't look away.

"Are you sure? I'm not making you do this for me," I mumbled.

Lapis shook her head and stood up, dumping her trash in the bathroom sink and grabbing my hand. "I want to do this for you. You're like, my best friend."

I froze up and bumped my head on the nearby sink from shock. Best friend? As in- the most liked? The friend that was the best? My eyes wide, and my jaw slack, I tried to come up with some form of returning the favor. Instead, I ended up grabbing her by her shirt collar and screaming: "DO YOU LIKE SNAKES?!"

And she had said yes.

Now, as I sit at home alone, petting Alduin as he curls up on my lap, I try to imagine where Lapis sat the first time she came over my house. I can't remember if it was on my bed, or in the corner, and I don't know for sure, but I think that bothers me.

I'm not tired, but I shove Alduin back in his cage. He's a pain to shove in there, because he coils around my arm as if he knows that he's getting put back, but I manage it. He immediately shoves his face to the glass and sticks out his tongue. I pretend that he knows how upset I am and that he's trying to make me feel better.

I press my finger up to the glass and stare into his eyes. He squirms again.

"Night," I hum, retreating from his cage and plopping down on my bed. It's hardly past seven-thirty, but I'm exhausted. I settle my laptop on my stomach and set it to auto-play, deciding to binge watch some old cartoons to relax.

I fall asleep by the fifth episode of Sailor Moon.