Abandoned

chapter 6

Mayra's p.o.v

I walk up the driveway and knock on the house. I know that they have cameras so they know I am here. After knocking again, mom opens the door. "Baby" she says and pulls me in for a hug. "Are you okay?" she asks as she looks me over. I start crying and get on my knees and beg her. "Mom, I want to get clean, please I need help. I haven't touched a pill in 1 week already. I need to do it for them mom" I cry and she nods. "Come inside, lets get you cleaned up" she tells me. "Honey, who is it?" dad walks up behind mom. I look down. I can't even look at my father. The look of disappointment kìlls me everytime. I wish I was stronger than this. I have to be stronger. I have to make up being such a shìtty daughter. "Are you okay? Are you hungry?" he asks. See, this is why I love my parents, even if I don't deserve them, they always take care of me. Even when everyone told them not to help me, they always told me I can come home whenever I was ready to get proper help. I shake my head. "I am ready for the help" I say "Rehab?" he asks and I nod. "Okay, we can get you into a program." He smiles and his eyes tear up. I am my parents only child and I am disgusted by myself. Everything I have put them through. They both give me a hug. Mom gives me clothes and tells me to shower while she fixes me some food.

I sit on the table and my parents sit across from me. "I am glad you are home baby. You are sure about this right? You can't be coming and going like you have been these 5 years. Your kids need stability" mom tells me and I nod as I sip some soup. I don't eat often, so I can't keep much down. "Come, lets get you to bed. Tomorrow is Makayla's birthday and you will stay right?" mom asks me and I nod. "Of course, if you let me" I tell her. She is technically who has been keeping my kids these past few years. "All I want is for you to get better Mayra. To be here for those kids. I know how much you love them. You can beat this. Do it for them" Mom tells me and I start crying again. She is right. I have to beat this.

I wake up the next day and head down for breakfast. Miranda is here and oh boy, I hope this doesn't get awkward. "Mayra, hi. It's so good to see you. How have you been?" she comes up to me and hugs me. I hug her back and start crying. This woman took me under her wing. She helped me when I needed it the most and I let her down too. I hope they can all forgive me. "I'm sorry for everything I did. I am getting better for them and for you all. I want to go back to being myself" I tell them. "You will Mayra, you have us all behind you. Now lets decorate so we can get ready afterwards. Lets keep you busy." she tells me. Dad took the kids out because they want to surprise Makayla. We decorate princess theme and everything looks great. Noone treats me any different. They do keep glancing my way, maybe just checking up on me and making sure I am okay. Noone mentions my addiction besides telling me that I can beat it and that they will be here to help support me. My little village, like always coming through for me. We are done and we take turns taking a shower. I haven't worn makeup in so long so Miranda helps me in that department while mom curls my hair. I have old clothes here that still fits me so I find a black summer dress. I paint my toes pink and I put on some sandals. I look in the mirror and finally for once in 5 years I feel something different. I feel beautiful and strong. I feel like I can do this. Like I can take my addiction on and beat it. This woman looking back at me right now can do anything she sets her mind up to.

Marcus p.o.v

It's my daughter's birthday. My princess is turning 5. I came down last night, but it was so late that I just stayed home and today I have been shopping, trying to find the perfect gift for her. I buy her a princess dollhouse, because that is what she is into. I have them wrap the box up. I also get her a doll that is probably the same size as she is. I am walking out, when I spot the perfect necklace for her. With Mayra being gone, my kids suffer. They miss her. I mean, they don't know much, because they are young, but they know dad works alot and travels, and mom is in and out because she is sick. I know she stops by because Michael asked me once why his mom was all dirty. That shìt crushed me. My son shouldn't have to even think of things like that. Yes my son, Michael is mine. I have raised him as mine. His father never came looking for him and I have been there since he was born, plus his sister is my daughter so it is only right. I love his mother and I won't leave him alone. I did notice his sperm donor staring at him one day when he was playing in the front yard. His parents live next door so I am sure he sees him, bit he has never approached him that I know of. I just hope we can get through to her. I miss her so damn much. It hurts that she prefers the drugs and living on the streets or who even knows where she sleeps over her family. I walk in to the jewelry store and I buy her a necklace with a butterfly on it. Mayra loves butterflies and she taught Makayla to like them too. It's their thing whenever Mayra is sober enough to be around her. I don't think Michael will want a butterfly necklace so I buy him one he can tuck into his shirt with a B on it. I remember when he asked us why his last name was different. His grandfather had to explain to him that I was not his real farther. It was hard and emotional on all of us. He cried so hard saying that he wanted a dad and that is wasn't fair that Makayla had me and he had no-one. I promised him then and there that I was his dad and that I would never leave. I am not married to Mayra so I can't adopt him, but I made a promise to him to change his last name to mine and I plan to keep it. Even if we have to wait until he turns 18 and can do it himself. This is just a gift to show him that I am keeping my promise. I pay and head to their house where the party is being held.

I walk in and put the gifts next to the gift table, because these gifts are huge and will take up the whole table. "Daddy" I hear Makayla yelling. I feel her crash into me from behind. I turn around and scoop her up. "Happy Birthday princess" I say. She fixes her tiara, "Look butterflies like mommy" she says, pointing at her hair that has little butterflies clipped in. I smile and nod. "Your hair looks beautiful" I tell her, "Like mommy's hair. She did it for me and she put some in her hair too" she says with the brightest smile on her face. "Makayla, look who's here" I hear mom tell my daughter. "Put me down" she demands and runs to the back door to greet Lucas and his parents. She kisses him in the cheek and my eyes nearly bug out. The little boy blushes and Adam laughs. "That's my boy" he says as his wife elbows him. I laugh and shake my head. The kid is lucky they are 5 and 6. I walk over to greet them. We talk for a bit. "Dad" I hear Michael. He comes over and gives me a hug and then goes to play with the other kids. I excuse myself to go to the restroom and when I walk inside, I feel like all of the air is sucked out of me. Mayra stands there looking beautiful, in a little dress. She does have the same butterflies clipped in her hair that Makayla has in hers. I take her in completely and she looks good, not like the last time I saw her. It took me weeks to get over it. I can't even say anything to her, I just walk up to her and take her in my arms. Fùck. "You look good" I say and I feel her smile. She pulls away. "Thank you." she whispers. "So, you're clean?" I ask. She looks down and I get a sinking feeling that I won't like what she is about to say, but she surprises me when she nods. "Just a week, but unlike other times, I want to do this now. I need help and I want to be in my kid's lives. I lost you and my family. I just want my life back or as much of it as I can get" she tells me and I hug her again. "This is the best news I could have ever received" I tell her. "Just tell me what you need and I will help you" I tell her and kiss the top of her head. Lets be real. I always felt guilty that she started popping pills. She thought I was cheating on her and she did it to forget and not feel the pain that I caused her. I knew she had postpartum depression and I feel like her seeing that woman kissing me made her snap. Unfortunetly, she went a different route. I would have rather she yelled at me or tried to run me over or something, not get so deep in drugs and take off and lose everything, but this is a start. She has to start somewhere. A week is good. I will be here for the next couple of months so I want to take her to rehab. Hopefully she wants to. I will discuss it once the party is over. Right now I want to enjoy my family. I want my kids to enjoy their mother. I excuse myself and go to the restroom. When I come out she is standing by the door. "Are you okay?" I ask her when I take in her face. "Marcus, I am so sorry for everything I have put you and the kids through." she starts to say, but I stop her. I don't want her to feel bad or sorry. "Hey, you are sick and you just need extra help. We will get you the help. You are not alone." I tell her. She nods. I see the vulnerable young girl I saw about 3 years ago when we tried to go to counseling. Mayra admitted to not feeling like she was good enough for me. She said she would take pills to try to forget that and me being with another woman which I wasn't. She has never gotten over that kiss. She said she thought the world of me and then I crushed anything she could ever feel. It hurt. Someone else kissed me. I pushed her away, but that woman, that moment made her feel like she needed to take pills to erase the memory and for that, I will always feel responsible. That moment made her feel like she wasn't enough for me. Throughout the years I have learned alot about addiction. I have talked to different people. There's people who feel like addicts have a choice and they choose drugs or alcohol over their family members. There's others who think it is a disease and that's what I want to believe. I have seen her struggle with it. I know how much she loves her kids and her standing right here trying her best just proves it to not just me, but to everyone. I know Mayra, I know her heart and her fighting spirit and I know she will overcome this, she has to. Our kids deserve the best mom in the world.