Abandoned

chapter 5

5 years later

Mayra's p.o.v

I stand behind this big tree at the park, watching my son swing on the swing set and my daughter run around with Christina's son. Mom always brings them all to the park in the afternoons. Yes I follow them. Sometimes this is the only way I can see my kids. Tomorrow is my daughter's birthday and I don't know if mom is going to let me attend her birthday party. I have no idea how I ruined my life. I ruined what I had with a good man. He really loved me and one misunderstanding and everything went down the drain. Why did I go to that bar that night? Why did I take drugs from that man?

*Flashback*

Omar wants nothing to do with Michael and I and that is fine because Marcus has been around. Every time he is in town, he spends time with us. We text everyday and talk on the phone every night. He gives me attention and tells me he wants to have a relationship with me and I do too. We have gotten really close throughout this time. He tells me he is going to open a restaurant here in our small town and he will get someone to manage New York for him, that way he doesn't have to travel as much as he does now. I am excited for him to be around more. Today we are celebrating Miranda's birthday/ the opening of a new store. Mom and dad are babysitting so I can go and have a night off. I arrive and the first person I spot is Marcus. He comes over to me and engulfs me in the biggest, warmest hug I have ever received. "I'm so happy to see you." I tell him. He kisses my cheek. The whole night, Marcus doesn't leave my side. He is so sweet and everytime he brushes against me, my body wakes up. He has completely made me forget Omar. No, he made me realize that what I thought I felt for Omar was nothing and makes me feel things, real things that I probably should not be feeling, but I can't help it. He is amazing. After the dinner party, we head back to my place. One thing leads to another and he is making love to me on my couch, then on my bed. We go at it all night in every position you can think of. He shows me what a real man is. The next day he tells me he is meeting with some people to discuss his business plan here, and that after he will call me to see if he can come over or if I want to do anything with him. I agree and he leaves. Months go by and everything is great. He introduced me to his work associates. There's this really pretty blonde woman who I can tell wants him, but he doesn't seem to notice and if he does he sure hides it well. She glares at me whenever he brings me along. She only speaks to me infront of him, otherwise she ignores me and acts like I am gum stuck to her shoe. Marcus travels alot back and forth from here to New York and when he is here we spend alot of time with him inside of me. Sèx with him is amazing and we can't seem to get enough of eachother.

I wake up one morning and I run to the restroom. I don't feel too good. Marcus calls his mom Miranda to tell her I can't come in to work because I am sick and she rushes to my house to help take care of me because Marcus has a meeting to attend. My mother stops by as well and they spend time with Michael. The whole day I have had to throw up repeatedly. I can't smell anything without feeling sick. "I have no idea what I ate. I think I have food poisoning" I tell them and they both just look at eachother. "When was your last period?" Miranda asks me and I shrug. I don't even remember. I am so busy all of the time and haven't been keeping track. I check my phone and the last time I tracked it on the app was 2 months ago. "Maybe 2 months ago?" I tell them. "Oh fùck" mom says and I stare at her. Mom hardly curses. "I'll go to the store" she says and gets up and leaves. I look confused, but the need to puke comes up so I rush to the restroom. I lay down on the cool floor instead of going back to my bed. The coolness helps calm me a bit. I hear the door and mom comes into the restroom. "Here, take this" she says and I think it is medication, but it is a pregnancy test. I stare at it in her hand and it can't be. Michael isn't even 1 yet. I can't be pregnant again....Can I? I grab the test and she walks out. I get up and take the test. I wait the 3 minutes it says to wait and I sit here not believeing that I allowed this to happen again. PREGNANT the stick reads and I am so fùcked. I walk out and I tell them that I am pregnant and now we know why I am feeling so sick. Miranda is super excited. Marus confided in me about his sister. She was murdered by her husband. She was 6 months pregnant at the time and they got into it over his jealousy and he murdered them. Miranda has never been the same ever since and Marcus says that's why she helps pregnant women. I also think that it is why she took to me and loves Michael so much. Miranda jumps up and down and calls Marcus telling him to hurry and come over as soon as he can. Mom on the other hand doesn't look too happy. "Oh come on, lets see some smiles on those faces. This is a happy moment. A baby is a blessing." Miranda says and gets mom to smile. Marcus comes back a couple of hours later and looks stressed, but I hand him the pregnancy test and his whole mood changes. His face lights up and he grabs me and spins me around. It makes me have to throw up again, but after that we celebrate. Mom makes me soup and I finally am able to keep that down.

My whole pregnancy, Marcus and Miranda are awesome to me. Marcus has to go away for longer periods of time and I am left alone. When he is here he is working more and more on his new bsuiness and I understand, he wants to finish as fast as possible. I just thought this time around it would be different. I mean it is, he does try to make it to all of my appointments. He has missed some, but the important ones he is there for. He was there when we found out we were having a girl. He cried. He also chose her name. Makayla Marie Brady. My daughter will have her dad's last name and it kind of makes me sad for Michael that he doesn't have his dad in his life. But what can I do about it, but be there and give him the family he deserves. A name doesn't mean anything. When I gave birth, he was there. Again, he cried. Our babygirl was born perfect. My parents brought Michael to meet his baby sister. Everything was going good, but I did have a little postpartum depression, but Marcus has been helping me with everything and I did get on medication and I am okay. I am happier now. I get to enjoy my perfect family. I have noticed that Marcus comes home less and less now that Makayla is born. He says he wants to finish since it has taken longer than what it should and he needs to get the place up and running in less than a month. It's mostly them putting the last finishing touches and he can have the grand opening. I am so proud of him and we did spend last night together. Lately I have been a little stressed though, so when Ania reached out and asked if I can go out with her and some of her friends tonight, I agreed. Marcus thinks it's a good idea as well and we will just meet up after and spend a kid-free night. Miranda and mom will babysit the kids at mom's place, so hopefully Marcus and I can reconnect. I have something special planned so he can forget all about work and everything he has going on, atleast for a couple of hours.

Ania and I have kept in touch and she is basically my only friend besides Chris and she wants us to go out to celebrate her promotion so I get ready. I need some time away from my kids. I love them, but mama needs a break. We are going to go have an early dinner/drinks. I meet Ania in the parking lot and Julia is here along with some other females. Julia glares at me, but I just ignore her. Trust me I do not want your man. I think to myself. I have a real man now and I love him with all of my heart. A real man that can fùck me so good, he makes me see stars. We walk in and there is a table reserved in the back for us so we head there. I check my phone to see if Marcus has texted me. I haven't spoken to him since he left this morning, but I know he is busy. There's no messages, so I put my phone away. When I look up, my heart drops. Sitting at a table is Marcus and that blonde woman he works with. She is sitting next to him. They are alone. Where are his other work associates? I watch as she grabs his face and kisses him. don't cry Mayra, don't cry. I tell myself. He pushes her away and looks around. Most likely trying to make sure no-one saw. People here know eachother and people talk. Things spread like wild-fire. Our eyes meet and his eyes widen. He stands up, but before he can come near me, I bolt out the door. I get in my car and leave. I didn't even say anything to Ania. Shìt. I will text her that I had an emergency. I don't want him to find me, so I decide not to go home. I go to my favorite place instead.

I sit and watch the waves. I have no idea how long I have been here for now. Marcus kept calling me, but I texted him telling him to fùck off. "Mayra, please, she kissed me. I swear I didn't kiss her back. It's not what you think." he texted back. "Leave me alone. I never want to see you again. You are dead to me" I text back. I guess he got the hint because he stopped replying. Once it got dark I decided to hit up a bar. I will just get drunk and try to forget, or I will just sit there and watch drunk people. I have a fake I.D that Ania actually got for me so we could get into a 21 and over club when we were in highschool, so I show that at the door and make my way inside the crowded bar. Luckily a group of girls walk away from the bar and leave a stool available so I snag it quickly and plop my aśś down on it. I order a shot and the guy next to me starts talking to me. After a couple of shots and some margaritas, I am starting to feel better, or maybe I feel numb. It's the same thing right? My broken heart doesn't hurt that much anymore. "and he was kissing that blonde bìtch he works with" I finish telling this complete stranger who has been sitting here, listening to me vent about Marcus. "Fùck them both is what I think." he says and I laugh and snort. "Fùck em" I say and raise my shot and take it down. "Hey, I have something that can make you feel better." the guys says and that sounds interesting. I look at him waiting for him to show me what this something is. He flashes a little bag with some pills. "lets go to the restroom and I will show you" he says and well, I want to forget. I have nothing to lose so I follow him. He locks the restroom door and shows me the bag with different colored pills. He hands me the bag and says they are a gift and that if I ever want more, I can find him here. He hands me a blue pill and hands me his drink to take it. I do so and then we walk back to the bar. After about 15 minutes I start feeling so good. I feel like I am floating. I stand up and try to dance, but I feel like I might be moving in slow motion. I feel my heart beating super fast. I don't feel the pain in my chest anymore, I don't feel anything, but I think I can hear my heart pounding. I feel good, a little too good. I move from side to side. Atleast I think that is what I am doing. I stare at my hands that feel really sweaty. My hands are all I see before I black out.

*end flashback*

Ever since that day I became addicted to those little pills and I kept going back for more. Eventually I was not able to function properly anymore. Marcus and I would fight everyday. We tried to work on our relationship, but the trust was long gone and only the pills would make me feel well enough to be around him. Eventually he got tired of it and left me, but he has tried to get me help multiple times throught out these years. He begs me to get better for our kids. I just keep going back to the pills. Miranda told me I couldn't be at work because I was so out of it, so she fired me. Without my job and Marcus, I had no money. Marcus refused to give me any money because I would waste it on pills. I lost my apartment, I crashed my car and it was a total loss so now I don't even have that to sleep in. Marcus has custody of Makayla and mom kept Michael. Marcus doesn't want to split the kids up so mom and Miranda keep them and Marcus travels as much as he can to see them. I am trying my best to get better for them. I have been sober for 1 week. I am really trying. I want to go to rehab. I want my family and my life back.

I watch as my pretty girl falls and Lucas who is Chis and Adam's son runs to help her. He wipes her tears away and she smiles brightly at him. Michael comes up behind them and pushes Lucas to tend to his baby sister. I need to change and do better for them. I know I can do it. I sit by this tree until mom grabs all the kids and they return home. I am going to stop by tonight and hope that she lets me stay so I can celebrate with them tomorrow. It would be great to see Marcus as well. I know he wouldn't miss her birthday. I miss my family.