She Keeps Me Warm

Chapter Fifteen

I spent the weekend at home with my little sister as promised. We drew a lot of pictures since she's seen that picture from Jasmine..

Talking about Jasmine, she and I have been talking on f*******: and she's really been great company to me. I found out that she was an i***t just like me.. she could draw and dance and loved soccer. She wanted to be a dancer or a soccer player. Which was cute.

Some of our conversations went like..

OLWETHU LIN: And why the f**k are you 'Jazztine Bieber..?' do you want to be him?

JAZZTINE BIEBER: No, he's just a twin of mine.. I can introduce you guys if you want...

Yep I know, she was an i***t.

"That girl is looking at us.." my sister said taking a few fried to her mouth. She was pointing behind me so I didn't even bother to actually look. I just stared at Lizzie, "Don't you think she's looking at us because you are looking at her?"

She shook her head, "no.. she's looking at us, I found her looking at us."

I laughed, "then stop looking at her okay.."

It was Sunday and as I promised, I took her out to McDonald's and she was enjoying it. She kept on asking about Theo and Stacy when she got here but I lied and said they were busy..

"I thought this was you..." the blonde girl said standing next to where me and my sister were sitting.

"You must be the girl who was looking at us.." I said and Jas laughed, "she said that..?"

"Yeah she did.. how are you?"

She looked around the place and I took her in, she was just wearing a simple black shortie with a white shirt and sneakers. Gay.. always gay looking.

"I'm not okay, It's full in here and I was looking for a table to sit and eat..."

Ahh so was I supposed to invite her to join us? I don't want to lie, I felt a bit uncomfortable with Jas trying to keep contact, it was like she wanted us to f**k again. Which I wouldn't mind f*****g her, but the problem would be when she has to do me. I'd always have excuses.. hence I only did something once.. It's because I didn't want such drama.. she was hot and fuckable but she'd also want to do me and that was a no.. besides, the bigger thing stopping me was the person who was secretly and unknowingly stealing my heart..

"So I'll see you guys around...I'll just eat in the car." she said when she saw that I wasn't responding..

Shit!

"Don't be silly.. you can join us.. that's if you don't mind. I don't want you to..."

"Let me go grab my order..."

I internally rolled my eyes, of course she wouldn't say no.

"Is she your friend?" My sister asked and I shook my head, "we were playing against her on friday.. but I'm being nice because there's no other seats and she knows me."

My sister nodded and took a bite on her burger. I took a bite on mine too.

"Hey.. so I realized that I don't know this beautiful princess sitting here..." Jas said sitting next to me and looking at my sister.

"I'm Barbie... you are beautiful, I love your hair it looks like Justin Bieber.." My sister said and Jas smiled, "whaaaaat? You're more beautiful.. and You know my brother Justin..?"

"Yeah he sings..." my sister smiled seeming proud of herself for 'knowing' Bieber.

"Yeah.. like he is my brother..." Jas said and my sister stopped eating and looked at her.

"But he is on TV..." she said looking so confused. She was just cute I wanted to laugh at her, but I let them talk.

"Yeah.. I was with him in December..." Jas said taking her phone out.. she showed my sister something and said, "see?"

My sister looked at me, "she was with him..."

I laugjed, "let me see..." she handed me Jasmine's phone and I was surprised to actually see a picture of Jas and Justine.

"Really?"

She shrugged, "yeah... if I want something I get it.. I wanted to meet Bieber and I did."

"Is that why yout f*******: name is stupidly Juzztin Bieber?"

She smiled, "Don't judge.. You're Lin... almost niece to Jet Li.."

My little sister laughed and I laughed too. Jasmine was becoming an i***t the more I knew her. We all ate in comfortable silence.. but my sister would ask Jas Something and they'd talk.

Jas brushed my knee with hers and I looked at her.

"You okay?"

I smiled, "just looking at you guys..."

"Thank you for letting me join you and your sister, she's really sweet."

"I think she see Justin Bieber in you.." I said and we both laughed as Jas put her hand over my shoulder, "Barbie.. do you see a Justin Bieber in me?"

My sister shook her head, "You're a girl, Justin is a boy..."

"Good point.. so what happens what should I do to your sister for not telling the truth..?"

My sister motioned for Jas to go closer and the girl did. Jasmine sat back down with this guffy smile on her face.

I furrowed my brows at them, "what are you guys..."

I didn't even get to finish my sentence as Jasmine started tickling me. I jumped and started laughing, "Jas.. Jas.. Jasmine... Oh God stop..."

"What's the magic word..?"

"F...." I said and she lifted both her hand up before I could scream 'f**k you...' and when she stopped I realized we had all eyes on us. I slapped her thigh, "people are looking at us because of you and my sister..."

Jasmine ignored me and high fived my sister.

I rolled my eyes at them both and got up, "we have to go before it gets late.."

Jas stood up with us and we all made it outside the store.

"Not being forward, but can I drive you guys..." Jasmine said and I looked in my left where I was supposed to queue for taxis to take us back to our place.

"Yess drive us..." my sister responded and Jasmine picked her up, "Barbie.. I'm talking to your sister and I can't drive you, You're not a car.."

My sister laughed hysterically at Jasmine's last line.

"Come on.. just an innocent drive.."

I sighed, "fine.. just this once because the queue is long."

"Yesssssss..." my sister said and they started walking towards a small blue mini cooper S.. she opened the back door and put my sister there and buttled her up before running to open a door for me.

"That's sweet.." I smiled getting in and putting on my seatbelt.

"Put your location..."

I did and she started playing some Justin Bieber song.. but one that caught my attention was Purpose... it was beautiful.

"Nice song.." I said when the car parked in front of my home.

My sister removed her seatbelt, "bye Jazz, I'll see you again.."

"Bye Barbie..." Jas said then turned to me, "thanks.. so sleep well and do not dream about me.."

I laughed, "I wasn't going to."

She touched my tigh, "I'm sure you're done..."

I knew exactly what she meant but the moment she started to move her hand in circles on my thigh... taking me back to one particular day.. where I was crying silently for the first time, he would hum a song on my ear and move his fingers in circles on my thigh trying to keep me quiet. It made me sick.. made me want to scream and telm him ti go to hell...

I snapped, "Don't touch me!"

She quickly lifted both her hands up looking confused and shocked, "what.. I'm..I'm sorry I didn't mean to... I'm sorry...?"

I closed my eyes, took one deep breath in and opened them, "I... I'm sorry.. I can't..do this.." I got out of the car and left.

I didn't even look back, I just ran towards the door, opened it and quickly closed it.

My dad stood in front of me, "is that your friend?"

"You ruined me... you f****d me up...." I shook my head as tears started to escape from my eyes, "I hate you... I hate you..."

Then I ran to my room...locked it and started crying.. like I genuinely cried because I was so pissed. So pissed at how I responded when someone who wasn't him touched me. I'd respond the way I should on him but never do it to him. I hated how what he did f****d me up..

I took my phone.. I needed her. I wanted to call her just to hear her voice. Maybe I was going to feel better after that.

I dialled her phone and it rang until it went to voicemail. I dialled it again and and it rang twice then went to voicemail. When I tried the 3rd time it was off.

My heart. I felt like shit..

I told myself that I'd never do this again. But I had no other choice.

I went on my knees and took some of the alcohol that was under my bed... I needed to forget this.. even if it's for a while.

..

"Olwethu! Olwethu!" I heard a yell snd a bang on my door.

I opened my eyes and headache hit me like never before...

"Olwethu!"

I groaned frustrated, "Mom! Jesus.. I heard you the first time..."

"Hurry up.. your transport will be here in 15 minutes.." she said and I jumped up and went to my bath. I quickly stood under the shower and let water rain on me then I got out. I then put on my uniform. I hated how I needed to be in a skirt on fucken Monday.. since I wasn't in the mood I put on my trousers and then brushed my teeth. I smelled like alcohol and so did my bedroom.

I opened my window and then sprayed fragrance on me.... yark.. anything to not make me smell like an alcoholic.

I took my bag and checked myself in the mirror again and then headed downstairs. I didn't even bother going to the kitchen to greet everyone, I just went straight to the main door and walked out to wait for my transport.

In a few minutes it arrived and I hopped in the front seat. Some kid was not present so I took her front seat. I was so sleepy and tired...and a little bit of alcohol was still on my system.

"Montgomery Girls.... byee see you after school.." the driver said and we got out..

A hand held my waist and I quickly pushed it off before turning to Stacy.

"What?" I asked harshly and she sighed, "are you okay..."

I furrowed my brows at her for a bit before laughing and leaving her there. Stacy was fucken confusing I swear. But I was out of her life and for good.

I made it to administration since I was wearing a trouser on a Monday.

"Lin.. what can I do for you..?"

"I'm wearing a trouser.." I said feeling a bit dizzy.

"Why? It's a Monday.."

"I know. I came to tell you, I'm on my periods so I'm not comfortable when in a dress, I was just saying that I'm wearing my trousers instead." I lied about my periods but smiled coz they were about to start any time.

"Oh.. okay then, let me write you a letter."

She started typing and I stood there feeling like s**t. If it was up to me, I wouldn't even be here, but then again, I can't be home because I'll die of my thoughts.

"Here...any teacher giving you a hard time deserves this..." the lady said and I smiled, "you're a life saver.. I love you.."

She laughed, "no problem... I love you too kid, now go to class before you're late."

I slowly walked towards my first class which was music. Today we were going to play instruments.. I felt like dying right there and then the noise was killing me.

I went to my teacher and asked to be excused, luckily she didn't say anything, she just allowed me to go.. I slowly went to the bathroom and washed m face then decided to sit there until my first class was over.

I went back to class, took my bag and made my way to English class.

"Hey dude. It's Monday not Thursday." Susan said the moment she saw me and I shrugged lazily, "It's all goo..."

I didn't finish my sentence as I felt something pull me. When I opened my eyes I was pinned against the wall.

"You don't fucken listen do you?"

"Sandra we are at school.. let her go.. Sandra.." some girls said and then she let go of me.

"What did you do to Sandra?" Susan asked shocked at me and I shook my head. I was feeling a bit dizzy for just being shoved against the way.

"Are you okay?" Susan asked and I shook my head.

"Bathroom..?"

I swear I was going to vomit any minute.

I felt another pull but luckily it was Susan directing me to a bathroom.. I threw my bag on the floor, ran to a stall, went on my knees and started vomiting.

After a few minutes I got out and the bathroom was empty. I went to wash my face and my mouth..rinsing the inside of my mouth.

"Fuuuck!" I said to myself...

"Are you okay?" A voice I wanted to hear yesterday said and I started feeling pissed.

"I'm fine.." I said and drank water again, then spit it out.

I heard footsteps and then she held my body turning me around, "what happened?"

"Nothing..."

"Really...?" She asked taking a very close look at me. She leaned closer.

God She smelled so good but I was about to vomit again, so I pulled away from her hand and ran back to a stall to vomit.

I came back out after a few minutes and went to wash my face and rinse my mouth.

"You were drinking yesterday... weren't you?" she said and I sighed, "ok."

"So you drank and decided to call me?" She asked now sounding a bit pissed. I rolled my eyes, "I'm not that stupid okay!"

"You might as well be. You know we aren't supposed to be in contact with each other at all Olwethu..."

"So the principal had your phone over the weekend too Val? Is that what you're saying?" I was now getting pissed too.

"That's not the point..."

"Oh yeah, the point is I shouldn't fucken contact you during weekends. My bad. Forgive me if I had a f****d up day and wanted to hear your voice... it won't happen again."

Suddenly her face became soft and she took a step closer to me, "what happened? Did he..?"

"I'm going to go to class." I cut her off walking past her and going to her class.

She held my hand, "Olwethu we have to be extra careful if you want us to keep on. I can't risk my career like this if you'll cal..."

"I called you before I got drunk Valentia... I just..." I sighed, "..sometimes I wish I could escape from my thoughts... but..."

"What happened..?" She held my face, "please tell me what happened.."

I couldn't tell her. I f****d up. I was f****d up.

I shrugged, "nothing... let's go to class.."

"I want you in my office during lunch.. and it's an order.."

I rolled my eyes leaving her there, "so bossy..."

She came in class a few minutes after I sat down.

"Take your textbooks and turn to page 178, do that assessment and keep it when you're done... I'll be coming to your desks to fix your first term papers.. I'll start with Oscarine, the rest should do the assessment."

I took my book out and started looking at the page I was told... I felt so fucken tired and sleepy. I started writing a bit.. to be honest my mind wasn't even here.

I was thinking about how I was and it scared me so much. I started asking myself questions, like will I always be like this? Won't I be able to fully be intimate with someone?

Fuck!

It frustrated me for real. I didn't want to be scared all the time. I didn't want to be the only one f*****g all the time.

"Dude...!" Susan whispered and I looked at her, "yeah..."

"You okay?"

I nodded, "yeah I'm good..."

"Lin and McCain, Don't test me!" Ms Louw said and I shut my mouth.

Time moved forever so slow until I felt a presence next to me.

"Move a bit"

I shifted and Ms Louw sat next to me, "your file."

I took it out and put it on the table.

"Okay, so you have only three tests and two assignments in this class.. right?"

She was sitting way next to me I could smell her. Like she smelled so fucken good.

"We are in class.." she whispered and I snapped out of my thoughts, "I'm sorry... yes I have those in here and two tests on other classes."

"Can I see them.. all of them.."

I took them out "here..."

She looked at them and nodded her head seeming pleased.

"You're smart!"

I laughed, "you sound surprised.."

"Actually I am..."

I rolled my eyes and she smiled shoving me off a bit, "you have above 90% on all your tests and over 95% on assignments.. wow, You're really good. I'm impressed.."

I blushed, "That's good."

"Yes... good for you. To be honest Lin, I was a bit worried.."

"About.."

"Your academics... with everything you know.. I was worried which is why I'm surprised.. but I'm proud. I'm really proud.."

I winked, "just because I'm from a small town doesn't mean im dumb Ms Louw.."

She laughed, "It's not what I mean..."

"Phshhh.. it so is, you were mean.."

"I should start again.."

"God no!"

We then looked at each other, she bit her lower lip, "I'll see you during lunch okay..."

"So bossy..." I whispered.

"Well done Miss Lin.." she said a little bit louder..

"I have good teachers... so thank them."

She rolled her eyes and moved, "I'll see you.."

I nodded my head.

She went behind me to Stacy and continued with what she was doing.

I smiled thinking about what she said, she was proud of me.

The bell rang signaling that we needed to leave. I took my books and put them back in my bag then made my way to Ms Louw holding the assessment I was doing.

"Here's my assessment.."

"Good..."

I went out and attended the rest of the classes before lunch. Then I made my way to her office as initially ordered.

I knocked hearing laughter coming from inside..

"It's open."

I opened and found her and coach.. s**t!

"Coach.."

"Hey.. how are you?"

"Good... hope you're good too.."

She smiled, "I can't wait for practice.. I have some good news for you."

"Wow, I think one of these days I should go see you guys practice.." Ms Louw chipped in and I shook my head, "umm no.. we are good coach right.. we only need eyes during matches.. not during practice.."

Coach laughed, "she has spoken..."

Valentia pushed her slightly and made her way to me since I was standing by the door, she whispered "Mariah just arrived.."

"It's okay.."

"Let me drive you home..."

"That's not..."

"It's an order..."

I laughed shaking my head. She was so bossy it made her sexier.

"See you at practice coach.. and Ms Louw I am not a failure.. it's not in my blood, I'll keep on disappointing you.." I said the last part trying to cover up the s**t that was going to happen here if coach was absent.

"Good.. enjoy your lunch.."

"Enjoy too.. coach please leave some for me.." I said looking at her lunch and she smiled, "will do.."

Lunch passed by quickly and before I knew it I was on my way to practice.

"word on the street is that Sandra is going to kill you..." Lucia said and I sighed. I wasn't in the mood.

"So not in for that..."

We practiced well and Sandra didn't talk to me throughout.. which didn't go unnoticed by coach.

"What's wrong with you two?" Coach asked when practice was over.

"It's nothing coach..." Sandra said and if I wasn't tired I was going to laugh, but I kept quiet. She was the one who had a problem with me.. so I wasn't going to answer anything.

"Everyone gather around.." Coach said and the rest joined us, "okay, so a request for a new captain came forward... and people suggested Olwethu as new captain.."

I stood up, "woaah people suggested what?"

"You as the new captain.."

"No.. guys I really appreciate that you see me as your captain but I'm afraid I have to decline. Sandra is the captain and I'm voting for her.. not me.."

They tried to argue but I did too. I wasn't about to have Sandra double hate me.

At the end I won and they said I couldn't be forced.

I waited for everyone to leave as my phone vibrated..

VAL: I'm down the street by the corner.. run..

I smiled and quickly walked there making sure to dodge Sandra.

"Hey... anyone following you?" Val asked the moment I got inside the car and I shook my head, "No Val, I double checked."

"It's Vee... not Val.. Val is for Valerie..."

I laughed, "thanks for teahing me Vee.."

She laughed and started the car. It was a bit quiet at start until she sighed, "so.. want to tell me what's up..?"

I shrugged, "It's nothing big.. just thoughts. Sometimes they hit harder...worse when I see him playing with Lizzie or something.."

"Can't your mom try and leave him.."

I sighed, "she's useless... my mom just.. annoys me. She doesn't even believe me it makes me sick.."

"Then let's get you out of there.." she suggested and I shook my head, "what if he starts doing this to Lizzie... God Vee I won't be able to forgive myself for that.. I won't.."

She sighed seeming defeated, "I wanna help Olwethu..."

"I know..."

She parked a street away from home and looked at me, "I don't want him to even touch you anymore. I want you out of there..."

"I know Vee..."

She smiled, "that sounds so cute..."

I rolled my eyes.

"Do that again and you'll be in trouble.."

"If we stay longer here I'll be in real trouble.."

She looked at my home and then at me, "yeah..." and then she leaned over and kissed my cheek.

We looked at each other and without any doubt I knew I was slowly falling for her, but I was scared. Would I be able to be intimate with her if my mind was this f****d up..? Will she be able to wait and understand? GOD! This was frustrating.

I pulled her neck and connected our lips and she quickly deepened it. Her hand slowly caressed my face and then slowly went down to my breast.. f**k! I was getting turned on.

"Mhm..." I let out a tiny moan in between the kiss and her hand went downwards to my waist..

We were now getting carried away and forgetting where the f**k we were..

She pulled away from the kiss and sucked on my chin before going to my neck..

When her hand touched my thigh I froze and she immediately stopped..

"Sorry..." she said and I shook my head, "fuck.. no.. I'm sorry..."

"Don't be.. and we are getting carried away..." she said and I wondered if I had disappointed her or something.

"I'm sorry Vee.. God I'm so f****d up like..."

"Hey... hey.. don't ever say about you okay... you're nowhere near being f****d up. And we ain't hurrying anywhere okay."

"Thanks..."

She kissed my cheek, "now go home while I'm watching..."

"Thanks for the ride.."

"Don't mention it. See you tomorrow.."

I smiled and went back home. They were sitting in the dining room table eating.

"Hi..." I said going upstairs.

Everyday at home felt so strange. I was disconnecting with them bit by bit.

My door opened, "I miss Jazz... when will I see her.."

I frowned, she must be feeling like s**t after what happened last night. I sat in my bed and took my phone going straight to messenger. She was online and to my surprise typing a message to me. Good I'll wait.

I turned to my sister, "I will ask her okay.. and how was school.."

"Fun.. when will I watch you play?"

"Soon...I need to bath Barbie and sleep.."

"Okay.. tell Jazz I love her.. bye.."

"Heeeey.... What about me?"

"Mhmmm I'll see."

I laughed and went to take a shower..

..

The week went pretty well to my surprise, on Wednesday night I texted Jasmine on Messenger since I didn't get any message from her. I apologized for snapping at her and told her that she shouldn't feel bad I was wrong...

I was all good until Thursday morning. Sandra came at me and pushed me against the wall again.

"Sandra what the f**k?"

"I ask you to do one fucken thing. You know how disgusting you are... so you slept with Jas...? After I basically asked you to stay away from her.. what is wrong with you?"

"I..Sandra... I..." I stuttered and she banged me against the wall roughly.

I roughly pushed her off me making her stumble backwards.

"f**k you Sandra.. you and Jasmine are not dating. You should tell her to leave me alone... you don't fucken get to tell me how to live my life.."

She came at me again and I froze when the principal's voice called for us.

"In my office now!"

When we got there principal hung up his phone, "both your dads are coming."

Oh f**k! My heart sank. I wasn't ready to be "disciplined.." again. This was going to be awful.

Throughout the meeting, which now included our class teachers, Ms Louw for me and Mr Alu for Sandra went on. I wasn't listening at all. I zoned out. I was now thinking about what I was going to do to avoid being home. I had no one. I could tell Susan but she'd have questions I didn't want to answer.

I literally had nowhere to go...but I knew I wasn't going back home. Not while I knew exactly what would be waiting for me there.

"I pushed her... she was just trying to protect herself.. it's my fault." I was so shocked when Sandra took the blame but I could still see how angry my father was.

"Sandra stay behind for your punishment... Lin you can go..."

I got up and left.. when I was down the hallway I felt a hand pull me roughly.

My father! God!

She roughly pulled me outside and actually held on so tight on my hand that I started feeling pain. I winced, "dad you're hurting me.."

"Must I always leave my work for this nonsense Olwethu? Can't you just stay out of trouble once.. can't you?"

"I can... you're hurting me.."

"I will be here to fetch you at 3 sharp.. be rea..."

"I need Miss Lin back in class Mr Lin..." I heard Ms Louw's voice.

He let go of me and gave me that evil look I always get before s**t gets real...

There was no way I was going back home. No way!

I looked at my hand and there was a tiny bruise there.. great!

"Let me see..." Ms Louw said taking my hand.

She gasped when she saw and looked at me, "you have to get out of that house..."

"I'm not going back there tonight.."

"Where will you go?" She asked seeming really concerned.

"I don't know.. and I don't care... but I'm not going there..."