Chapter 13
1771 Words
Limang minuto rin ang itinagal ko sa loob ng banyo hanggang sa may kumatok na sa pintuan. I heard murmurs from voices I cannot decipher because of my sudden emotional outburst.
I wiped my tears with the back of my hand before I let the faucet ran the water on my shaking palms.
And then out of all the voices from the other side, I heard a tone that seemed to be familiar to me, albeit how much I hate it.
"Divina, pakibukas naman 'yong pinto." His voice wasn't commanding or demanding, in fact it held a very caressing pleading font.
Napalingon ako sa pinto bago ko binalik ang tingin ko sa kamay ko. I found myself gathering all the strength I have before I managed to turn off the running water. I took some tissue out of the dispenser, sniffed back my tears, wiped the little smudges of my make-up, fixed my hair and then looked at my reflection.
There were faint knocks again at the door, followed by Zyrus's voice. "Divina..." There were whispers after that.
I took a moment to collect myself and pulled off the fakest smile I could ever wear.
I strode to the door then gently turned the knob, revealing my colleagues gathered outside the restroom's door. Up in front and center was Zyrus, with his hand on the air, as if attempting to knock the door again.
I met all their eyes, and it broke my heart more to see the pity there. But I was able to shrug each one of it amd continued to smile.
"Sorry, natagalan..." Then I chuckled. "Ano? Lahat kayo sabay-sabay na gagamit?" I joked.
But none of them went with my quip. There was a trace of confusion in the atmosphere before I walked pass them unti I reached my cubicle.
Lahat sila nakalingon sa akin, ramdam na ramdam ko ang bigat ng titig nila pero binalewala ko. Nagsimula na akong magtrabaho kahit ilang na ilang ako.
Then as if on cue, boss emerged from the double doors and stood there with a baffled expression on his face.
"Anong ginagawa niyo diyan sa harap ng banyo?"
Nagkatinginan lahat sila bago nagsibalikan sa kani-kanilang puwesto, ni isa sa kanila walang sumagot sa tanong ni Sir Anton.
Naiiling na lang na pumasok si boss sa opisina niya saka nagsimula ang maingay pero mahina na usap-usapan sa loob ng opisina.
No one dared to ask me again what just happened. Kahit sila Cheska, tahimik lang na nagkukwentuhan.
Ilang beses kong naramdaman ang pagsulyap ni Zyrus sa akin pero umakto ako na hindi napapansin. I convinced myself that I was busy, but the truth was, my mind was completely in the gutter.
I heard Zyrus sighing heavily beside me until he finally lost it.
"Divina." He called. His voice firm and serious.
Alam kong narinig iyon ng ilan sa mga katrabaho namin dahil pasimple silang napalingon sa gawi namin.
Nilingon ko siya at nginitian. "Op?" I answered nonchalantly.
His eyebrows furrowed, he was about to say something but Nikka cut him.
"Ay, Zyrus! Pa-help naman ako rito. May hindi kasi kami maintindihan, si Nadia kasi hindi pinaliwanag." Sabay haba ng nguso niya.
Sinakyan naman ni Nadia ang sinabi niya, "Busy ako Niks, pero thanks Zyrus." Tugon niyo sabay 'okay' sign.
Nikka pushed the documents in front of Zyrus. Wala na siyang nagawa. He seemed to have a hard time following what was happening. He looked at me one last time before flipping the pages of the inch-thick documents.
Nikka glanced at me warily and gave me a polite nod before she turned her attention back to Zyrus with a smile.
Mabilis naman pinaliwanag ni Zyrus sa kaniya ang mga nakabilog sa mga papeles na inabot niya. Tumango-tango si Nikka pero pansin kong wala siya sa focus at halatang wala siyang iniintindi sa mga salitang lumalabas sa bibig ni Zyrus.
"Wow! Ganoon lang pala. Thanks engineer!" She muttered with fake enthusiam before she walked back to her cubicle.
Zyrus again fawned his attention back to me. "Vinang, I—"
His words again faded when Jaxon suddenly appeared behind him holding another set of papers. He gave Zyrus a jovial slapped on the shoulders before he layed the papers on Zyrus's desk.
Bro, may mga problema kasi ako rito puwede bang patulong? Tutal ikaw naman ang top performing Engineer ng main branch, ikaw talaga ang sagot sa mga katanungan ko. Beke nemen."
He gave Jaxon a confused and annoyed look before he shot his eyes back at me, but I chose to ignore it and carry on with my work. I heard him giving out an irritated sigh.
"Hindi totoo ang balitang 'yon. I only did one project when I was at the main branch." Sagot niya.
Jaxon was amused that he was able to steer Zyrus's attention off me. "Pero international and I must say one of the most successful and famous project the firm had accomplished and all thanks to you."
I heard him clicking his tongue but said nothing in return. Sinagot niya lahat ng katanungan ni Jaxon, na katulad ni Nikka, hindi rin nakikinig sa mga paliwanag niya.
Hindi lang doon natapos iyon, sa tuwing binabalak ni Zyrus na makipag-usap sa akin, nasusupalpal siya ng mga katrabaho namin. And it wouldn't take a genius to find out what they were doing. Because they were exactly like this to Harvey a few days after Warren went into a coma. It's either way of protecting me emotionally from the stress.
Zyrus eventually gave up and the tension shimmered down. Umalis ng saktong alas-sais si Zyrus, walang kibo at walang pinansin kahit may mga bumati sa kaniya. Clearly, the theatrics sure did piss him off.
Nagpalipas muna ako ng sampung minuto bago ko sinimulang ayusin ang mga gamit ko.
"Thea, okay ka lang? May nangyari ba?" Narinig kong tanong ni Erlinda kaya napatigil ako sa pagligpit ng gamit ko.
I froze then suddenly tears were staining my table top. Naramdaman ko na lang na may tatlong pares ng kamay na yumakap sa akin.
They said nothing.
I wiped my tears with the back of my hand before I choked out the words I was avoiding to recall.
"Huhugutin na ang life support ni Warren kapag hindi pa siya nagising next month." I hushed out. It was so soft, I barely heard me.
But the shocked look on my friends' faces told me otherwise.
They again said nothing.
Nothing they say can turn the situation into another one. Nothing they say can change the decision Mama Whena said.
I collected myself again before I waved them off. "Okay na a-ako...S-alamat..." Tugon ko sabay ngiti.
"Try natin 'yong bagong bistro sa malapit." Msayang aya ni Cheska sabay kapit sa braso ko.
Nginitian ko siya sabay tanggal ng pagkakapukupot ng braso niya sa akin. "I know you're trying to make me happy...pero sa ngayon kailangan ko muna mapag-isa para makapag-isip...Kailangan ko munang umuwi."
Bakas ang lungkot sa mga mata nila saka bumuntong-hininga si Erlina. "Hatid ka na lang namin sa condo mo."
Umiling, ako saka sumangot, "Okay lang ako. Sige na, lakad na kayo. Mauuna na ako."
Nagmadali akong umalis bago pa sila makasagot. Alam kong pipilitin at pipilitin pa rin nila akong sumama.
The drive home was exhausting. Kahit nagpapatugyog na ako, naririnig ko pa rin ang sinabi ni Mama Whena nitong umaga. Hindi ko maiwasang hindi maiyak nanaman. It took all my strength not to bawl while on the road.
I was scanning my brain for something to do while I figure out if I want to see Warren tonight but I stopped dead on my tracks to see Zyrus standing in front of my unit while he leans on the wall.
He has his hands on both pockets while he stared blankly at the ceiling. He caught my movement to those coffee-colored pearls landed on me.
"A-anong ginagawa mo rito? Wait...paano mo alam na ito ang unit ko?"
He snickered but his face sported nothing but sadness. "I checked your profile at the HR, remember?"
He held my eyes for a long time, as if searching something. Something I have no knowledge of.
"Why are you here?"
Umalis siya sa pagkakasandal niya sa dingding saka naglakad papalapit sa akin. I thought of maintaining the distance between us but I was left glued to where I was.
He stopped a good few inches in front of me.
"Alam mo...mas tanggap kong binabara mo ako. Mas tanggap kong lantaran mong pinapamukha sa akin na ayaw mo ako. Mas tanggap kong pinapaalam mo sa lahat kung gaano kasagad ang galit mo sa akin. Pero hindi ito. This is...this is torture to me."
I stared at him for a while. His eyes flickering in an usual way. But the dejected look holding its place.
I cleared my throat, deciding not be blown away by his words.
"Hindi ko alam ang sinasabi mo. Baka pagod lang 'yan Zyrus. Sige na, larga na. Kailangan mo lang siguro ng pahinga." I muttered with a smile.
He closed his eyes before running his hands on his hair. "You're doing it again, just like how you did it before, way back in College. Divina, drop the charade. Alam kong galit ka sa akin, I want you to yell at me. I want you to tell me what a piece of ass I was for commentingcasually about your relationship which I know nothing about. I want you to...I want you to..." Then he stopped. Words seemingly becoming a luxury.
He faced the wall and threw in one punch. "I rather take all that. Hindi ko kayang makita kang nginingitian ako samantalang 'yang mga mata mo walang kabuhay-buhay na nakatitig sa akin." He murmured softly.
I felt my lips quiver and before I could even prevent it, big, fat tears startec to invade my cheeks. Zyrus looked at me when there was nothing but silence. The panic in his eyes were immediate when he saw me, so he stalked towards me and enclosed me in his warmth.
"Oh no...don't cry. I made you cry a lot back in College, but after that party incident back then I swore on my life that I will never, ever make you cry again."
I don't know but I found his warmth, his hands going back and forth on my back, his voice, all of it so soothing.
We stoof there, motionless, as I sobbed my heart out on his chest. He tucked my head under his chin while he consoled me without words. And like my friends, he too said nothing.
But this nothing was enough.
- Writer
