With the Wrong Man

Four.

Reggie, the godsend that he is offered to take the twins for a walk down to the park for the afternoon, his son David had been there with his two girls Anna and Amy, who were six and four, when we got back to the house. So they wanted to go along too.

It was perfect because it was just mom and me then, and we could talk freely without having to worry about little ears listening in on our conversation. Especially Alex, not too much got past him.

“Sorry about that.” I said.

We both knew I was referring to the awkward ride home from the airport. I really should have warned her, but I was in such a rush to get out the door it had slipped my mind at the time. Oh well.

“How much do they know about Aden? What have you told them?” one of the things I loved about my mom was, she was always quick to cut to the chase.

“Honestly, next to nothing, this morning was the first time they have ever even asked about him. It caught me off guard, actually. We were on our way out the door, so we didn’t really have much time to talk about it, thankfully. I thought that maybe I’d be able to think off something while we were on the plane, but nup, nothing, nada.” I told her honestly.

“Well, what did you tell them?” She repeated simply. For the second time today, I found myself wishing I could take a peek inside the minds of others. Why was she a little tense?

“The truth really, I mean, what else was there? I don’t want to lie to them, which is why I’m having such a hard time deciding on what the right thing to say is because I don’t want to come right out with it all either. Not just yet, so I told them mommy made some big mistakes, that she moved to get away from those mistakes and that she had never told anyone that she was pregnant when she left, that their daddy genuinely didn’t know about them. They were a little upset. They thought that maybe he just didn’t want to meet them. Meredith even asked me if he didn’t like her because he never came to see them. I couldn’t have them think that was true, and it isn’t, you know that. I honestly don’t know what made them so curious about who he was all of a sudden. Maybe it’s about their birthday, you know they have all this family coming around to celebrate but not a dad or maybe now that they're in kindy and they see all the other kids with their dads around at pick up and drop off. Maybe it is time I talked to them about it but honestly, mom, where do I even start.” I could tell from the dubious look on her face right now that, like me, she didn’t know either.

“Oh darling, how about just, for now, you try your best to answer any questions they have openly if they don’t ask you, then don’t share, the truth always comes out when it’s meant to, you shouldn’t force these things.” She reached across the table and gently placed her hands on mine. She looked into my eyes and gave me her most sincere, understanding small smile.

I love how supportive she was of me. No matter what I did wrong, I always knew that my mom was in my corner. I doubted her when I first found out I was pregnant, but she has done nothing but show me how wrong I was to do so.

“What if they ask to meet him? What should I say then? No? I can’t say he doesn’t want to meet them either. What if he does find them one day and all my lies catch up with me? They will hate me then.”

There it was, my biggest fear. It almost felt taboo to say it aloud, like as if I was going to accidentally bring it about just by merely mentioning it like now I was going to bump into him at the grocery store tomorrow despite being many, many miles apart.

“If they do?” She flipped my question right back at me. I guess I was the only one who could decide. I still wouldn’t mind hearing her opinion tho.

“Please, mom, tell me what do you think I should do here,” I begged her as I dropped my face into my hands.

“If it were me?”

The question hung in the air between us for a few minutes while I thought about it. Did I actually want her advice, or did I just need her to listen? Nah, screw it, I wanted her advice. No, I needed her advice.

“Yes, mom, if it were you, what would you do if they asked to meet their dad?”

My mom would never find herself in a spot like this. Before Reggie, my dad had been the only man she was ever with. She never lied about anything, and as a child, she always made a point about how important honesty was to her and especially to others. As long as I told her the truth, I never got into a whole lot of trouble when I messed up and did something wrong as a child.

I wished not for the first time, not even for the first thousandth time, that I was more like her. Braver. Stronger. More Decent and kind.

“I wouldn’t make any promises, that’s for sure, you can’t control everything that happens no matter how hard you try to. What I would do is reach out to Aden, a phone call, a message, heck even f*******: if that is the best you can manage, and I would tell him. I’d leave it up to him to meet Alex and Meredith. If it were something he wanted, then I’d allow it, I would encourage it even, BUT I would make sure it was ALL on my terms, and we met somewhere mutual. Although I believe he should have been involved from the beginning, he wasn’t, and he doesn’t know them. That’s just how it is. As their muon, it’s up to you to figure out the right way to introduce them. I wouldn’t tell the twins until the day off just in case something goes wrong. You don’t want to let them down if he changes his mind. Protect them. They are too young to understand all of this fully. Besides, there is no need to panic just yet. You have time to decide. The twins are only just becoming curious, and Aden is clueless. There’s no need to rush to some big decision right away.”

She had a good point. I believe in my heart that Aden would want to meet them, but I could always be wrong, and I did have a habit of panicking and then just jumping.

Just then, the front door banged open and in came running all four children David and Reggie in tow.

“Hey babies.” I greeted the twins “how are you girls?” Anna and Amy looked exhausted. They must have had fun down at the park.

“Hey, Aunty Hannah.” they waved as they walked through to the living room. Seconds later, the sound of cartoons filled the room. The twins climbed silently on my lap, one taking a knee each. I could tell they were exhausted. It had been such a big day after all.

“Come on. Babies, let’s get you showered and into bed.” I carried them upstairs and started our nightly routine.

I was tucking the kids into their beds in our shared room. They would sleep well tonight. I was moments away from turning the lights off and shutting the door behind me when I heard little Alex, who stopped me in my tracks.

“Please tell us about our dad, mom.”

I sighed. They really were interested. I guess I would be too, who could blame them.

“Okay.” I sighed in defeat as I sat on the end of the bed. All of a sudden, the lint on my pants was all very interesting.

“Mom.” Meredith prodded.

“Okay, well, first of all, he looks a lot like you, Alex. He’s very tall. He has blonde hair, blue eyes, tanned skin. He’s very nice. He’s a school principal, kind of like what mommy does, but he’s the boss. He used to be mommies boss before she moved to Denver and started teaching at her new school.”

I hadn’t thought about that in a very long time. I didn’t have any thoughts revolving around Aden anymore that didn’t pertain to just that one night.

“Is that how you met him” Meredith listened quietly, just taking it all in while Alex being Alex, wanted to know absolutely everything.

“Yes and no. I first met him because he was my boss, but we had never seen each other outside work or social events. Mommy had this best friend her name was Emma, she was a very nice lady. One day Emma was helping mommy set up some stuff at her work, and Aden, that’s your dad and mommies boss, came to talk to me about some school stuff. He forgot all about that once he saw Emma with me. Soon they were married, and we saw each other all the time.”

That’s another reason I ran. I couldn’t work alongside Aden every day and still, keep my secret. It would have been impossible. Especially as they got older, there was no denying the resemblances between Alex and Aden. He would have eventually figured it out. He wasn’t stupid after all.

“If he’s Emma’s husband, why is he our daddy” Meredith didn’t miss a beat. I can’t believe how smart they are getting.

“I can’t answer that today. Is there something else you’d like to know?” They may be bright, and I may have told them I would tell them everything, but five is a little too young to talk about the birds and the bees and certainly too young for a******y.

“Will he ever find us?” And the way he asked, I knew this wasn’t the first time Alex had wanted to ask me that very question, and it was like an anvil had been dropped on my chest.

“Do you want him too?” he didn’t even take a moment to consider it.

“Yes.” they chimed in unison.

“ I don’t know, baby. Maybe one day he will.” Like mom said, make no promises, but I could give them a little hope, right?

“Do you have any pictures, momma?” Meredith asked, and I suddenly wished I had saved some. Maybe I could still find him on f*******:. I would look later, now wasn’t the time.

“No, babies, I don’t, but I’ll try my best to find some. For now, it’s time for bed. It’s your birthday party tomorrow, and you don’t want to be so tired you fall asleep on your cake like last year.”

Last year I had made the mistake of waiting right until bed to cut the cake. The day had been so busy, mom had insisted on taking the kids to the festival in town to celebrate, and by the time we got home, we were all very worn out. Both kids fell fast asleep right at the table, faces covered in cake. I took plenty of photos. It was super adorable.