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3474 Words
Pakiramdam ko pinaglaruan nila akong lahat.
Why would I stay with Sancho while I'm living here in Manila?
Ilang araw na kaming magkasama sa bahay niya, technically, it is his place. I learned na wala akong binayaran ni centavo para lang dito.
He already explained everything to me. Still, hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala. Why would my parents think na papayag akong tumira kasama siya?
I mean, yeah, he's my boyfriend pero we are like a married couple living in one roof. We always see each other at talaga namang nabibigla pa rin ako kahit ilang araw na ang lumipas.
"Babe, what do you want for dinner?" tanong sa akin ni Sancho.
I'm at the living room, reading some magazines that I found at the shelf.
He just came from his University for the practice of his graduation. He was the batch Magna c*m Laude, good enough for him. I know na matalino naman siya but I didn't know that he's that smart.
"Why am I here again?" tanong ko sa kanya.
Sancho faced me with an arched brow. He maybe thinking na here we go again.
He sighed upon walking towards me. I should have been doing the household chores. I know how to do that naman pero he insisted na siya lang muna,
Marunong din naman ako maglinis, magluto, at maglaba. Ayaw lang talaga niya na ako ang gagalaw muna. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit.
"Are we going to talk about that again?" He asked to me.
I nodded, leaving the magazine on my side and almost hopping on my way to him. "Yes. Hindi pa rin ako satisified kahit narinig ko na lahat."
Sancho shook his head but still he tried to longer his patience towards me. "Your family asked me to look for a condo unit around the area. I presented my apartment-condo since I was living alone here and malapit sa school mo,"
"You planned it, didn't you?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"I didn't." He calmly said.
Hindi pa siya nagtataas ng boses sa akin kahit gaano ako kasaway at katigas ang ulo.
"So bakit dito nga?" tanong ko pa.
"Because we owned this building. Anything else, babe?" He lowered himself so we could match our eyes together.
I rolled my eyes before nodding. Hanggang ganun lang naman lagi ang pag-uusap naming dalawa.
"Now...what are we going to eat?" tanong niya sa akin ulit.
I pouted my lips before pointing the refrigerator, "We have a chicken. Let's fry it na lang so we could eat na. You're tired naman na rin kasi." I said to him.
Sancho smiled before nodding. He patted my head before leaving me at bumalik sa kitchen para magluto.
Bukas nga ay ako na ang magluluto for us. Para naman pag-uwi niya ay kakain na lang siya.
Kung si Chari siguro ang kasama niya dito ay hindi siya mahihiyang magsabi dito na pwede itong maglinis ng bahay. Kaya lang ako ang kasama niya. Iniisip niya siguro na isa akong prinsesa na hindi pwedeng kumilos or madumihan man lag ang kamay.
He leave early at paggising ko ay may naka-ready ng breakfast and lunch for me. Huhugasan ko na lang iyon and as much as I want to clean the whole place ay wala na akong malinis.
Kaya sa mga nakalipas na araw ay nag-ayos lang ako ng room ko. Magkatapat lang naman ang room namin pero never ko pang nakita ang room niya.
I wanted to respect his privacy kaya I never invaded nor take a peek man lang.
"Can I go to the grocery tomorrow?" tanong ko sa kanya.
He's thawing the chicken kaya nagawa niyang lumingon sa akin. His brows furrowed, "Why? Ubos na ba ang supply natin?" tanong niya sa akin.
I shook my head, "Hindi pa naman. Kaya lang I wanted to cook for tomorrow sana. Para you won't cook na pagdating mo. You looked tired pa naman na," sabi ko sa kanya.
Sancho smiled to me, "How thoughtful, babe. Kaya ko naman--"
"No! Stop saying na you can do everything. I'm old enough para makagawa na rin sa bahay. I'm no longer a child."
"Hey. No one's saying na you're a child. Ayoko lang na mapagod ka," sabi niya sa akin.
I shook my head, crossing my arms over my chest. "I know how to clean, cook, wash the dishes, wash the clothes. It is my responsibility as a woman na hayaan na laging in order ang bahay. Why won't you allow me to do that?" tanong ko sa kanya.
Sancho sighed defeatedly, "Fine. You can do that but please don't raise your voice, babe. We are not arguing, we are just talking. Okay?" Nakangiting sabi niya sa akin.
Late ko na nalaman na mataas na pala ang boses ko. I was controlling my voice, I didn't know na high pitch na pala ako.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to--" Hindi na niya ako pinatapos at pinatakan na lang ng halik sa labi.
"No worries, babe. It's not something offending at all." He said.
Kumibot-kibot ang labi ko habang nakatingin sa kanya. Inasikaso na ulit ni Sancho yung kakainin naming dalawa pero heto pa rin ako at parang bata na nakatingin sa kanya.
Tumalikod na lang ako at bumalik sa sofa. I should act mature.
I stayed in the living area watching him from a distance, cooking a meal for the two of us. Gusto ko sana mag-focus sa pagbabasa kaya lang hindi ko maintindihan.
The words are floating and I can't comprehend even a word properly.
Nilapag ko ulit ang magazine at lumapit kay Sancho. He's facing the sink kaya nagawa ko siyang yakapin from his back.
I felt his tensed muscle dahil sa ginawa ko.
"Babe?" tawag niya sa akin.
"I'm sorry. I'm being an immature. I won't do it anymore." sabi ko sa kanya.
I felt his sigh, "You're still thinking of it?" tanong niya sa akin.
I pressed my face on his back after nodding. "I just want to help you. I've been here for weeks yet I never lifted my hand to do something. You were always there to attend my needs despite of being busy. I'm sorry." I told him.
Sancho turned around to face me. Nag-angat tuloy ako ng tingin sa kanya habang nakayakap sa akin.
"Hindi ako nagrereklamo, Olivia. I'm more than happy to help you attend everything you need. Huwag kang mahihiya sa akin." He said.
Kahit na.
Ayoko naman na lagi akong aasa sa kanya. Sooner or later, maiiwan din ako sa bahay lalo na kapag pumapasok na siya sa trabaho niya.
There were local stations who were scouting him to become one of their news field reporter. I don't know kung sumagot na siya sa mga offer na iyon.
Sancho kissed my forehead, "Everything's fine and good. No need to worry about things. You can help me starting tomorrow but I won't ask you to do anything na ayaw mong gawin. Andito ako para ako ang gumawa nun para sa'yo,"
How did I find this wonderful man anyway? Parang kahit sinong babae ay magkakagusto sa kanya.
I wonder what would women think of me kapag nakita nila na may girlfriend na ang ganitong kabuting tao?
Instead of arguing with him, I prepared the table for us. Making a juice was the easiest task I have done so far.
After thirty minutes of deep frying the chicken and making a fried rice for the two of us. A simple plain rice will do pero iba si Sancho, he made an effort for everything.
"Did you choose your station already?" tanong ko sa kanya while we're eating.
He shook his head upon meeting my gaze, "Still assessing every offer they did to me. Ayokong magkamali sa desisyon ko." He said.
I nodded to him. Surely, he knows what he wanted in life. Ganun din naman ako kaya maganda na rin na naging ganito muna kami. There's no pressure for both sides. Kasi nakikita naman nila na in good terms kaming dalawa.
"Pero you have a prospect already?" tanong ko sa kanya.
He nodded. "A channel where can I easily made my way up as a news anchor." He replied.
"You will be a great news anchor. I'm sure of that," sabi ko sa kanya.
Sancho smiled to me, "Thank you, babe. Will you be my number one fan, then?"
"Of course!" That's a fact at talagang ako ang magiging number one fan niya.
We ate peacefully that night. Hind pa siya natulog that night cause he had to make a video of himself reporting for current events.
Isa kasi iyon sa requirements na ipapasa niya sa isang station na gusto niya.
I stood there waiting for him, while he's fixing the green screen behind him.
"We need a light para maganda ang impact," I told him.
"You go to bed, babe. I can do it." sabi niya sa akin.
Kanina pa niya ako pinapatulog pero ayoko pa. I wanted to watch him.
"I'm not yet sleepy so go on. Don't mind me here." sabi ko sa kanya.
Sancho fixed the tie of his black suit, his soft eyes who were just looking at me a while ago turned serious in just a short span. His eyes diverted to the video camera.
"Kabi-kabilang protesta laban sa pamahalaang Arroyo ang sumulpot sa iba't ibang bahagi ng bansa. Ayon sa mga ulat ay hinihinalang dulot ito ng kapalpakan ng gobyerno sa pagsolusyon sa mga nagsusulputang problema sa ating bansa. Nag-uulat, Juan dela Cruz." Sancho said before sighing.
I clapped my hands while watching him. Para talaga siyang news anchor habang nagsasalita. He has a calm but authorotative voice na lahat ay napapatingin sa kanya.
Ganun ang epekto niya sa akin at sigurado ako na magiging ganun ang epekto niya sa mga manonood sa kanya.
"Good job, babe! You did well!" Masayang sabi ko sa kanya tsaka ako tumayo.
"Did I?" tanong niya sa akin.
I nodded enthusiastically at him. "You still have 2 news, right?"
Tumango siya sa akin.
"Let's film that!" Bumalik na ulit ako sa likuran ng video camera.
Dim lang ang light na nakabukas pati na rin yung spot light na mayroon siya. Mas maganda kasi ang effect ng lighting kapag ganun.
My mouth was hanging open while listening to the other two news he read. Kung ganito ba naman ang magbabalita sa telebisyon sigurado ako na maraming hahanga sa kanya.
Ang reliable at linaw ng bawat pagbitaw at pagbigkas niya ng salita.
Matapos iyon ay nagmamadali akong tumungo sa kanya at yumakap sa leeg niya. Nagulat pa siya sa ginawa ko. Pero ang saya-saya ko talaga na pinanonood siya. Hindi na ako makapaghintay na makita siya sa telebisyon talaga.
"Good job, babe! You are awesome and great!" I clung onto him like a koala.
Sancho smiled to me. "Thank you for watching me. May nagawa ba akong mali?"
Sunod-sunod ang pag-iling ko sa kanya. "You did really well. Para ka na talagang isang reporter. Ang galing-galing mo talaga!"
Dala na siguro ng panggigil ko sa kanya, I cupped his face and kissed his lips. Hindi katulad ng magagaan na halik namin sa isa't isa. This one's different from that baby kisses we shared.
Sancho pushed his tongue in my mouth, claiming every inch of it. Mas napahawak ako sa balikat niya habang nakahawak naman siya sa bewang ko para suportahan ako.
He was kissing me so hard and deep and I'm returning the same intensity of that kiss to him. I wrapped my arms around him hanggang sa parehas kaming kapusin ng hininga. We looked to each other's eyes before I hugged him and pressed my face on the space of his neck and shoulder.
Hindi lang basta pagkagusto ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. It was more than that. What I feel for him was no longer just like.
It's love.
My question will stay remain kung nasa parehas na pahina na kami. I love him but I don't find a courage to tell it to him.
Baka kasi hindi pa ganun ang pagtingin niya sa akin. Baka masaktan lang ako sa huli.
The weeks turned into month. I was with him during his graduation. My parents came too and they're so happy to see na maayos kaming dalawa ni Sancho. I have been developing into a more mature individual.
Sancho's graduation was held at their campus biggest auditorium. I stood quite a far with him while watching his classmates taking a photo with him.
I'm wearing a pastel pink off-shoulder dress na hanggang knee ko. My natural brown and long hair falls perfectly at my back, nagsuot lang ako ng crystal head band just to match my open-toe white wedge shoes. I'm perfect, I know that.
Pero habang nakatingin ako sa mga kaklase niyang babae, I find them really intimidating. The girls are wearing a wearing fitted dress with their sablay on their right shoulder.
Mom's standing beside me while talking to Tita Grace. I bought a gift for Sancho without him knowing it. I wanted to give it to him later pero mukhang hindi naman na kasi his female classmate gave him one.
I drifted my gaze immediately upon seeing that. Sinuot kasi agad ni Sancho yung watch sa wrist niya. Ayokong makita niya ako na nakatingin doon sa ginawa nila.
I looked at my Mom whose all smile while talking to Tita Grace while Dad's talking to Tito Primo. I have no one to talk with. Ayoko naman magmukhang kawawa kaya tumingin na lang ako sa ibang school mates ni Sancho.
They were all waiting for the auditorium to open.
I glanced back to Sancho who's still talking to that female classmate. I wanted to mark my territory pero ang childish naman kapag ginawa ko iyon and besides Sancho and that girl looks closer than us.
But we shared a kissed and hug though. He cooked meal for me, always!
Pero I know my limitations namin.
A surge of jealousy went to my heart while looking at them. They look so happy at nakakainggit silang dalawa. The girls even hitting his chest playfully. I couldn't do that to him. Pakiramdam ko kasi kahit nagagawa na naming maghalikan ay may imaginary wall pa rin sa pagitan naming dalawa.
I cleared my throat pero they never heard it ata. The loud noise can made someone deaf.
"M...Mom," I called Mommy.
Mommy turned to me. "Yes, baby?"
"I'll just go to the bathroom. I'll be back. Pag nag-open na po at wala pa ako, you can go ahead inside and I'll just look for our seat." I told her.
Mommy nodded. "Are you sure that you can go alone? Do you want me to accompany you?" she asked.
I shook my head immediately. I have no plans of coming back pa agad. I wanted to walk and think clearly. I haven't been alone since I started admitting to myself na I like Sancho. I just want to clear my head.
"I'll be back." I gave her a peck on her cheek before looking at Sancho who's still talking with his classmates.
I didn't dare to say goodbye on him. I just walked down the stair and turned left...walking away from the wonderful scene of his day.
Malaki ang campus na pinapasukan niya. The huge grass field at the middle of the campus awe everyone. Bakit kaya hindi na lang doon ginawa yung ceremony? Mukha namang fit ang lahat ng dadalo.
But then I guess...siguro dahil college or department pa lang nila ang gagraduate kaya auditorium lang ang ginamit.
The sun setting at the other side...this part of the campus was quite peaceful. Malayo na rin ang narating ko mula sa auditorium building nila Sancho. I found a bench at one side, facing the vast field and the sun set.
Peaceful
Serene
Pakiramdam ko ay nakabalik ako sa Trinidad kahit sandali. How I missed that place already. I really wanted to go back pero nandito na sa Maynila ang buhay ko. I will go back naman siguro kapag vacation pero hindi ngayon.
Hindi pa ngayon.
I closed my eyes as I embrace myself while the whilst sound of air passing through my ears. Isa lang ang sigurado ko sa lahat ng agam-agam na mayroon ako ngayon.
Mahal ko si Sancho.
I love him.
Hindi ko lang alam kung kailan nagsimula pero mahal ko siya. Siguro dahil sa pinakikita niya sa akin na kabutihan kaya mas nahulog ako sa kanya
I opened my bag and took out the box with his gift on it. I traced the ribbon attached at the black velvet box, "Hindi na ata kita mabibigay sa kanya." bulong ko.
He has his own watch already.
Ginusto ko siyang bigyan dahil wala siyang sinusuot na relos or what. Hindi naman niya practice na hindi magsuot kaya lang wala talaga siyang pagmamay-ari na relos.
He often forget the time kapag masyado na siyang seryoso. Kung hindi pa sa akin ay makakalimutan niyang kumain on time.
My phone ring and my mom's name registered immediately.
"Hello?"
["Where are you? Everyone's going inside na. The program was about to start,"]
"Uhm...mahaba po kasi ang line sa bathroom, Mommy. I'll go there after this. Sorry...just reserved my seat for the mean time." I told her.
["Alright. Make it quick, Liv. You don't want to miss his graduation, do you?"]
"I wouldn't miss it for the world, Mommy. Sige po. I'll go back na." I ended the call and with a sigh, I returned my phone in my bag.
"Should I leave you here? Baka may mas makagamit sa'yo?" I murmured while looking at the watch.
And then out-of-nowhere, Sancho sat beside me. Agad akong napatingin sa kanya.
"What are you doing here?" tanong ko sa kanya. He supposed to be in the procession!
"Following you." He sighed before looking at me sa hawak ko. Agad ko iyong tinakpan ng kamay ko. "Was that for me?" tanong niya sa akin.
"N...no," sabi ko sa kanya. Damn! Why I'm even stutterring?
Sancho grinned removing the watch he's wearing. He put it inside his pocket before gettingthe box from me.
"Hey...that's not---"
Pero hindi na natapos ang sasabihin ko dahil sinuot na niya ang relos sa wrist niya. The watch that I bought for him was a lot better than the gift he had from his friend.
"Perfect. Thank you for the gift, babe. I will treasure it." He said then he showed his hand to me.
I can't disagree. The watch made him look gorgeous.
He faced me this time, "Why are you here?" tanong niya sa akin.
"I should be the one asking you that. You have to go back in the audi na," I told him.
He held my hand and squeezed it. "We still have a lot of time before my graduation speech and besides I prefer spending time with you."
I pouted my lips while looking at him, "Your friend looks good. You will make a good couple." Mahinang sabi ko sa kanya.
Sancho laughed. His laugh echo around, he pulled me to embrace me. "My baby's getting jealous. Nagseselos ka ba?"
I rolled my eyes. Why would I deny it to him? Kumpara naman sa babae na kaharap niya kanina ay wala lang talaga ako. That woman was a lot sexier than me. Her curves are in place!
"Ikaw naman ang mahal ko pero bakit nagseselos ka sa iba?" sabi niya sa akin.
Wait! Did I hear him right? Mahal niya ako? Lumingon ako sa kanya. "Stop lying." nasabi ko na lang.
"Bakit ako magsisinungaling? Mahal naman talaga kita." He said to me.
I pursed my lips into thin line, hiding my smile. Kinikilig ako sa sinabi niya pero hinding-hindi ko ipapahalata iyon sa kanya.
"You don't have to look down at yourself, Liv. I love you for who you are. Mga kaibigan ko lang iyong mga babae na iyon." His arms tightened around me.
For a short while ay nakalimutan naming dalawa ang dahilan kung bakit nandito kami sa campus nila at tinatanaw ang magandang tanawin sa harapan naming dalawa.
"Sorry if I made you feel unwanted. Hindi kita naipakilala sa kanila. I will introduce you later if you still give me a chance?" nakangiting sabi niya sa akin.
I nodded to him. Why wouldn't I give him a chance. He's more than worth it para sa isang chance.
Ganun ata siguro kapag nagmamahal, kakayanin mo lahat.
"But before introducing me to them. Why don't we go back to the auditorium. The Magna c*m Laude should be there and not here. His world is waiting for him," sabi ko sa kanya sabay tayo. I offered my hand to him.
He looked at my hand and smile, hinawakan niya iyon tsaka siya tumayo. "My world is with me already." mahinang sabi niya bago ako hinila para mahalikan sa labi.
- Writer
