Farfalla

18.

2:15 AM

I woke up stressed and sweaty, the new sleeping quarters unfamiliar to me as my body jolted up. Heavy breathing accelerating my heart rate as my eyes scanned the new room around me. I felt alone in this darkness that was engulfing me. Standing up onto my feet I gravitated towards the window where the ocean waves crashed against the shore.

Touching the window pane I felt the cold settle in under my touch. It took me a few seconds to calm my frantic state, the sight of the ocean seems to help me more. The repetitive sound of the crashing waves drawing tiredness to hover over me once again.

A deep sadness washed over me as I stared blankly at the rolling water that was like a magnet to the white sand. I missed Louis. I knew I shouldn't be bringing him back into my thoughts but somehow they reeled back to him at night. I didn't like sleeping alone in a bed big enough for two. I didn't like that Harry wasn't as comforting as Louis when it came to my night terrors.

I longed for a pair of arms to wrap around my tensed body. For comforting words to spill out of someone's mouth making me feel like things weren't so hard. I wanted to feel the body heat of another person against my skin. These were the things I wanted but wouldn't get due to Harry's cold personality.

Did I dare go down to his bedroom and ask for these things? I couldn't stand being held up in this room alone any longer. Looking down at white silk slip I hesitated for only a second on if I should change before being in Harry's presence. Deciding against it I padded against the carpet as I made my way down the long winding staircase.

Coming to Harry's door I knocked oh so softly before cracking open to door and hearing the squeak increase in volume as I opened it further. I saw the figure of Harry stir before he sat up, covers falling down to his lap he moved his hand down his face groaning.

This all made me feel very childish as if I were a little girl interrupting her parents sleep due to a nightmare. I stood with my arms at my sides as I watched Harry stretch out.

"What are you doing up?" Harry's voice was groggy and sleepy as he woke up from his sleep. I moved closer to the bed so he could better see me under the moonlight coming in through the window.

"Can I sleep with you?" My voice was soft and sounded so small against his. I was coming to him in a vulnerable state and hoped that Harry could see that and be more gentle than usual.

A deep-rooted groan rumbled in Harry's chest before he answered, "Fine."

Padding my feet against the carpet I examined Harry while he slipped back into the covers and made himself comfortable once again. Lifting up the covers on the open side I slid into the cold bed, positioning myself to a more comfortable state. Putting my back against Harry's I felt his body against mine, considering what I was doing. I needed body contact and knew that my intentions of touching Harry's back with my own were nothing but comfort-seeking.

9:17 AM

My bones sunk into the mattress still not quite ready to get up and face the day ahead. The jet lag had been a harder factor then I expected with all of this traveling, my sleeping patterns were all over the board. Not that they were always consistent anyways with my frequent i.e. nightly haunting dreams. I could feel the sun creeping up on my cheek while I laid on my side fighting with myself on if I should get up or not. I had no idea of the time but if I didn't get up soon I knew Harry would only taunt me.

Peeling open my eyes to the bright sun outside I saw how the rays soaked every part of the room in a pastel yellow tint. The sun was different here than in Florence even though I knew there was only one sun in our solar system. Harry had failed to draw the blinds yesterday before bed which was the cause of all the light. My position faced me away from the windows causing me to face the door that had still been shut from last night when I had entered.

Had I really come into Harry's bedroom last night? Refocusing my attention on my surroundings I found I was fastened to Harry's chest with his arm that wrapped around my stomach. My back to his chest while he took in steady breaths still clearly asleep and exhausted. My eyes widened at the touch of his arm around my silk slip that I wore for pajamas. If felt good to be in a safe hold, I knew I needed to embrace the feeling while I could because I knew it wouldn't last.

I felt his soft breathing in my ears while he was asleep and so unaware of the world around him. A smile creeps onto my lips while I slowly closed my eyes and position my head onto his bicep once again. From the movement, I felt his arm tighten a notch around me as his chested lifted and settled once again. The warmth of his body heating me comfortably while I drifted back into an easy sleep that I didn't know was even possible. Normally it was a chore for me to sleep but somehow I felt safe in his arms. It was as if he were a shield from all the dreams that lurked in the deep corners of my mind and under the bed.

10:45 AM

I woke once more feeling my muscles reasonably relaxed as I stretched out my limbs. Freshly stretched out I turned to see the dip in the bed was gone and Harry's arms were now absent. Sitting up I rubbed my eyes and yawned away the sleep that had come easier then I could have ever imagined.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled my nose while I swung my legs over the side of the bed. Taking my time to get to the kitchen I spotted Harry staring out the window with a fresh cup of coffee in his hand. He couldn't have gotten up too long ago given he was still in a pair of basketball shorts and shirtless. Seeing his chest without the cover of a shirt I admired his tattoos that had been carefully displayed on his skin. My eye is drawn to the inked image that sat in the middle of his chest, a butterfly.

"Good morning." I gave a small smile coming into better view and finding my way around the kitchen to find a mug.

"Morning," Harry replied keeping his eye on me while I pulled out a mug from a cabinet. Making sure I was careful to not spill, I tilted the coffee pot to see it dump its contents into my cup. The steam floating upwards to my face causing the aroma to get stronger.

"How did you sleep?" I asked him hoping that he wasn't going to complain about my body in his bed. From my observation however with him so close to me, I doubted he found the sleep unpleasant. If it had been he would have pushed me away.

"Great until you insisted on sleeping with me. You move constantly in your sleep." He commented, taking another swig of his coffee.

"Sorry..." I was highly disappointed by his answer. Had he really not enjoy the time cuddling in bed with me? Did he only have his arm around me because I had been moving constantly?

Sometimes I hated that when I thought too much of a situation. In this case, I had. I thought Harry had taken a turn and cuddled with me because he secretly had a soft spot for me but this was false. I was stupid for thinking he cared anyway, that was my mistake.

"So what's the plan for today?" I asked him pulling my hair into a high ponytail. Fiddling with the hair band I fasten it to my head and picked up the mug that I had seasoned with sugar and cream.

"I have work of my own to do today so it looks like you will be entertaining yourself." He informed turning his gaze back to the glistening ocean just outside the window.

This wouldn't be too hard, I had a vast ocean to explore. Maybe it would do Harry and I both good to have time to ourselves. I needed time to figure out what these developing feelings towards him were because the feeling inside kept building.

"Okay." I took small sips out of my mug as it warmed my hands nicely.

"But you can't leave my sight. You have to be in viewing distance at all times." He cautioned giving me guidelines on where I could and couldn't go in a way.

"I understand." I nodded obeying him since he was in a better mood than most other days. Harry was never really in a good mood, I didn't know what that looked like but this was a better mood for Harry's standards. "I'm going the beach."

"You don't go anywhere unless you ask." Harry snarled at my little statement I had made without really any thought. I didn't mean for him to get upset over such a small thing.

He made me feel like a child which pissed me off slightly. I was not his child and he was not my father no matter how much he tried to embrace that role. He always pinched a nerve when conversations like this arose.

"Look, I don't appreciate being treated like a child." A surge of anger began to course through my veins. I hated when he said things like this or got after me for such little things. Harry was the definition of a bad temper.

"And I don't appreciate looking after a child!" Harry fired at me coming in closer, a tactic to make me feel intimidated. With his height over mine, it gave me the sense that I was smaller and weak against him.

"You're not my dad! So I would like it if you would stop trying to be him and treat me like a god damn adult!" I yelled my face lifting in heat when the anger became visible against my skin tone. I hated the way he could get under my skin so easily but, I knew I did the same to him.

"Then start acting like one Mia!" He shouted back at me causing me to turn and walk away. I couldn't stand to sit in the heat building between us any longer.

-June 28, 2016