Farfalla

19.

1:45 PM

Thinking that things were going to change at all in the slightest because Harry showed a shred of kindness that night a few weeks back was naive of me. No wonder Harry had that tattoo wrapped around his wrist, maybe some people really can't change. I held onto the thought that he could and it was only hurting me further.

The week was choked full of arguments. I would say something then he would say something and before we both knew it we were shouting at each other. Nowadays I felt like we were screaming just to see who was louder. The arguments never had any substance to them, always over stupid little irrelevant things.

Florence had been bearable but Cancun had been a nightmare. Besides the night I slept beside Harry I haven't gotten a wink of sleep. The cramping from my period hadn't helped either I suppose. I had to admit I fed into the fire in some of our arguments and disagreements that would escalate into full-fledged arguments. Some days are worse than others just like anything else.

Tiptoeing down the hall to peek inside the crack of Harry's bedroom I watched as he typed away on his computer clearly concentrating on the work at hand. His green eyes moving across the screen while his fingers tapped on the keyboard every so often. Stepping away with caution I crept into the garage to explore what laid inside the estate.

Feeling the heat instantly hit the surface of my skin I felt my long tangled hair against my back. Blowing out breaths my eyes trailed to the walls to see various surfboards lining them. Brightening my spirits I gasped running on my tip toes to the one that stood out to me from all the rest. Touching the glossy board under my fingertips I bit my lip deciding on if I should take it out. I hadn't touched a surfboard since I was ten years old.

I remember the nanny in Hawaii had brought me out in the mornings and taught me to her best abilities on how to surf. I had grown to love it after I began to develop the skill to eliminate so many wipeouts. The nanny and her husband had taught me not only how to surf but various other life lessons, they were hard to leave when I was set to relocate a year later. Running my hand over the board brought a kaleidoscope of memories to cloud my mind.

Taking a better grip on the board I hoisted it under my armpit and proceeded to walk out the side door of the garage. Shutting it behind me when I had gotten the entire width of the board out the door. The rays of sun hit my skin causing a burn to concentrate in the areas the sun was gathering on. Hair dancing in the breeze and feet being tickled by the sugary white sand a smile swiped over my face at the sight of the wavering ocean.

The stress between Harry and I had melted away instantly upon the feeling I was getting now. Everything was so calm and stress-free while the ocean wavered and sand glistened. Standing at the foot of where the waves reached I looked down to see a wave reach my feet and cover my toes for a brief moment. Closing my eyes and tilting my head up I felt the cool liquid brush up against my toes and tickle my feet as the sand repositioned under them.

Wading into the water I set the board into the water when my waist was fully submerged into the crystal clear liquid. Hopping onto the board I laid my weight in it and began to paddle out to ready myself for a wave. Feeling the energy in the water I saw a perfect wave on the horizon and went for it. No one around to take it away from me.

Duck diving and submerging myself fully into the water I felt the cool temperature engulf my body. My hair flattening to my head under the water as I embraced the feeling of refreshing water. Sucking in a breath as I came back up I saw the wave in my sights, getting myself to remember what I learned long ago I stood up.

Board gliding on top of the water a smile planted in my face as I felt a sea salt breeze graze against my bikini exposed body. I felt as though I was a different person, like nothing I had been going through with Harry these last weeks mattered. I felt light, unlike the usual heaviness I lugged around in my chest every day.

The sun kissed my skin when I fell into the water, coming to the end of my ride. Water overriding me I tumbled around under the waves, my ankle still attached to the board. My body tumbled about freely before I gained the control and swam back up to where the air greeted me.

Looking back out at the house I saw that I still had time for one more ride seeing Harry wasn't running out to me about to combust with anger. I figured giving Harry alone time was a favor to him, he didn't have to hear me talk.

Hoping back onto my board after the second ride I sat wading in the water and feeling the board shift from under me. My waves helping to rock me as I sat with my legs split with one leg on each side of the board. Everything was so peaceful and tranquil that I didn't want to head back to the house that only encased stress and bad feelings.

6:25 PM

I sat here for hours until the sun colored the sky orange and pink. Clouds covering the sun that was outputting a lilac sky with a gradient of pink caused me to begin to paddle onto the shore. Pushing my board up into the dry sand I took a seat to watch the sun hide behind the colorful clouds. Arms wrapping around my legs that I brought into my chest I felt my hair move in the breeze and begin to dry its dampness.

"Mia!" Oh great the moment I had been waiting for. The voice I was waiting to hear all afternoon but never came. "Mia!" My name called once again grazing his tongue.

I didn't turn but rather kept my attention on the clouds gathering around the sun that had previously been high in the sky. I could feel him getting closer from behind as the sand flipped up and his steps were louder, well as loud as they could be in the sand.

"I have been looking for you for 20 minutes!" Harry gnarled standing right in front of my view of the deepening sunset.

"You know what?" I asked in a calm voice looking up into his green eyes that were hardened to see in the darkening setting.

"I told you, you needed to be in my sights at all times!" His chest puffing out even though he was already towering over me while I sat.

"I've been out on the open road for a long time now. I've come to find that everything changes, landscapes, people, places but, do you know what never has?" I asked him watching his expression change to that of confusion. He was surprised that I wasn't responding to his conversation, that I was ignoring what his concerns were.

"Mia." He tried one last time to grasp my attention. His voice lowers now as if he were trying to come off as if he weren't listening. I knew he was however, I knew he wanted to hear what my observations have been throughout my life.

"The ocean. It's something that has always stayed constant. Never changing in color or appearance, never pretending to be something else. It's been the only thing familiar to me no matter where I am." I began seeing Harry's mood meltdown from his previous heightened state. His expression more curious now, giving me room to talk more. "Sometimes I think my life is as big and as wavering as the ocean, no compass telling me where I'm supposed to go. No direction as to how I even ended up in the places I have. I belong to no one, no place, no city."

I could see Harry soften as he moved to the side and sat down next to me. My gaze shifting to my right were he sat beside me, closer then I had expected. Deep feelings resurfacing as I told Harry these thoughts about the ocean and my life leading up to this moment. About how I related to no one claiming or owning the ocean.

"That's not entirely true." Harry took my chin and looked deep into my eyes. Keeping my gaze as our face became closer together a heat rising between us. Lips only centimeters apart I moved into his landing mine on his plush pink heart shaped ones.

Melting into his chest my arms snaked around his neck when things began to escalate. Feeling his arms move around to my back he engaged his lips back onto mine once again. I never imagined Harry would kiss me once and I never thought in a million years he would kiss me twice. Basking in my heightening emotions I found Harry's lips to be softer then I had imagined they would be, reminding me of flower petals.

I didn't dare to interrupt the moment and ask him what he meant by 'that's not entirely true'. Was he eluding to the fact that I belonged to him? Feeling his fingertips trail down my bare back I felt the goosebumps creep up against my arms making the hair on my arms stand up from his touch. My body feeling satisfied with his touch alone. It was as if my body itched for him to touch it, begging for his lips to be on mine and now that it has happened it was relieving almost.

Leaving my lips his arms loosened around me causing me to look at him and lower my arms from his neck. Loosening intertwined fingers around Harry's neck I gazed back at him and waited for him to say something.

"You belong to me." He breathed.

-July 10, 2016