My Billionaire Ex

I Don't Need You

"Today and tomorrow."

More tears flow out of her eyes. She knows she is just torturing herself but him being here made every moment between them that she had tried to suppress spring free. They are hitting her like waves and she has no way of escaping them.

"You promised me Lucas... It was supposed to be today and tomorrow. Just you and me, every today and every tomorrow." She rocks herself back and forth as if that will make her feel better. It's 3 a.m now and she has been like this for the past hour. She is seated in the dark crying her eyes out for all the could have beens between her and Lucas. She thought she did well in the meeting but when she came out her mind could not let go of him. No matter how much she tried to distract herself she still found herself thinking about him the entire day and now thoughts of him are keeping her up too.

"We were each other's everything. You and me." She shakes her head as she looks at nothing in particular.

"But you changed, you didn't believe me. You forgot me, you forgot who I was. Your Jaelyn Gray." She is almost wailing when she remembers how he fondly called her. She had loved the feeling of belonging to him, to be loved by him. To know that in this whole wide world Lucas Miller had chosen her.

"You left me." She whispers in the darkness and a lump forms in her throat and she feels like she can't breathe. Her soul feels like she is swimming in all the hurt she felt with every step Lucas took away from her and she feels like she's drowning. Her breathing is laboured and she grabs hold of her sheets. Everything is becoming blurred.

"Air... "

"I.need.air."

Her lungs feel like they are burning up and she forces herself off her bed and quickly drags herself to the door. She feels suffocated in here and just wants to get out. With the little strength in her she manages to open her door and finds herself in the long hallway. She looks left and right but she can't tell which way to go. She leans on the wall as she gasps for air. She has no strength to take even one step and tears fall when she realizes her situation. Her hand goes to her bump afraid for the life growing inside her.

"Hold on baby please." Her voice is a whisper, she tries to look around to see if there is anyone but her sight is blurred with all the tears. She starts panicking, with no one to help her this could end badly for her.

"Oh God help me."

"Jaelyn?"

She slowly turns to where that voice is coming from. Relief washes over her at the sound of help and she feels a little comfort when she hears the concern in it. It's all she has ever wanted. For him to care about her.

"My god Jae what is wrong?"

The voice is closer but she has no strength to tell him what is wrong.

"Air. " she whispers as she feels herself falling.

"Damn it."

She hears him curse as she feels warm arms embrace her. A heaviness weighs on her and her eyes slowly close.

"Stay with me Jae, please baby."

Hearing him call her baby brings her a little warmth. It feels just like before when they were still in love. Those days when he stood by her no matter what people said. She rests her head on his chest wanting to feel him close to her.

They are moving but she can't tell where they are headed. All she hears is a string of pleas from the person carrying her begging her to hold on.

Before long a cool breeze washes over her whole frame and she takes a deep breath. She is grateful when she feels her lungs fill up with fresh air.

"Hey, are you okay?"

She looks up and finds Lucas looking back at her. She is sitting on a bench in what she recognises as the hotel garden. He looks panicked with beads of sweat covering his forehead.

"Am okay, thanks."

"Are you sure?" He moves closer and tries to take her hand but she backs away from him leaving some space between them.

"I said am fine." She says that almost too loudly and she sees him flinch. She is being ungrateful right now but she is afraid to have any contact between them.

"That is not what it looked like back there and certainly not now either. What happened to you?"

Lucas moves closer to her and looks straight at her. She shifts uncomfortably on the seat. She is sure he can tell she has been crying but she won't talk about it with him. How is she supposed to tell him he is the reason for it all?

"Look, thank you for helping me out but am fine." She tries to get up but reality hits her when she loses her balance and slips. She is about to fall but Lucas holds her up.

"That's it, am calling the doctor."

"Just leave me alone Lucas! I don't need your help. I don't need you, so don't act like you care."

She shakes herself free from him. Her throat is getting all choked up again. All the care he is showing her is choking her up and she is beginning to panic again. She never wanted to need him again but with him being like this with her she finds herself wanting it. She wants it so bad she finds herself struggling to say no to him.

"Just leave me alone already." She looks away from him afraid to face him. Why did it have to be him to come to her rescue? She looks ahead in the darkness as silence surrounds them. She hopes he will leave her alone but that hope is lost when she hears him talk to someone over the phone. He is still there and still bent on having a doctor check on her.

"Look, I just want to make sure you are fine then I will be out of your hair okay?"

"Am fine, I don't need you to spend your precious time on me so just leave." She snaps at him.

"You think I would leave you in such a state?"

"You did it before, shouldn't be too hard for you." She sneers.

She has just hit him below the belt but if this is what it will take to get rid of him then so be it, but what she hears next makes her wish she hadn't.

"Am sorry." He says it quietly and she knows he is not apologising for today and her heart tightens.

There was a time she wished and hoped he would come back running to her and tell her those two words but now all they are doing is hurt her more. She turns to him and finds him looking at her tenderly. There is genuineness in his eyes but she turns away him. His words are late, six months late. All she wants now is to move on from all the pain that has changed how she views the man standing in front of her. Once upon a time she never thought he could treat her the way he did and now there is nothing that he can say to make her believe in him again.

"Am sorry too."

She gets up and she sees him come closer getting ready to catch her if she falls but she raises her hand asking him to stay away which he does without question.

She begins to walk away slowly taking care to keep herself from falling even though her heart is aching with every step she takes away from him. It's hard but she just wants to be alone right now.