Submit to Me, Alpha

5 My Fault

Dani comes striding into the bar at 4:30 PM the next day. She is practically glowing, and it pisses me off seeing her so happy when Andrew was so broken over her last night. She wore her hair up today and you can clearly see the mate mark on her slender neck as the light reflects off it’s scarred edges.

She is bubbly and bright-eyed, joking and teasing with Toni as they both set up their stations at their pianos. I usually send over water to her right when she gets here, but I’m not feeling so hospitable today. If the b***h wants water, she can come to the bar and get it. I’m not going to go out of my way to be nice to someone who doesn’t deserve it.

“Send her a glass of your spit,” Flora encourages me.

“I’m tempted,” I respond, glaring at her.

The weekend crowd starts to trickle in, most here to see her perform for the last time. The b***h was gifted, that’s for sure. She can brings tears to your eyes with her powerful voice. It’s like she can control your emotions with the music she sings and plays. She’s the bar’s main attraction and I imagine our sales will take a hit when she leaves to be with her mate.

Andrew comes in around 8, looking a hot mess. It tears me up inside seeing him anything but perfect and put together. This woman ruined him. He wasn’t this broken even after I rejected him, his fated mate. That thought has Flora whimpering, and I try to stamp down my pain as he sits at the bar and not his usual table for the first time in 3 years.

I look up at Felicity, both of us exchanging a look at the sight of him acting so out of character.

“Club soda with lemon, Alpha?” Felicity asks him. I move down the bar, taking orders from the patrons furthest from him so he didn’t notice me. I don’t want to feel the pain of knowing I mean nothing to him, and it’s just Dani he’s mourning the rejection of now. I know it’s irrational, but I can’t face that. Even Flora isn’t fighting me as I walk away, fearing the same thing I am.

“Whiskey,” Andrew’s order causes me to turn around, looking between him and Felicity in shock. He doesn’t drink This man never drinks. “Jameson. Neat.”

Felicity nods hesitantly, places a glass in front of him, and starts pouring his drink. When she’s done, Andrew adds, “Leave the bottle.”

I tear my gaze away, closing my eyes and fighting the pain inside me at seeing him so heartbroken.

Andrew never turns around or acknowledges me. He sits facing the stage, eyes glued on Dani the entire time. She doesn’t spare him a glance. She is so engrossed in the music and laughing with Toni, it’s like she’s the queen of the f*****g world while this man is in agony.

A huge man, clearly an alpha, with a chiseled face, a bulking frame, and long black hair swept up in a man-bun walks in, drawing a lot of attention to himself. He is everything you would expect a werewolf to be. He’s even hairier than normal. Even his scent is rugged.

The guy takes a seat just a few spots from Andrew, eyes glued to the stage the entire time. Andrew's gaze follows the man, and I can tell by the hateful glare that this is the alpha. The alpha mated to Dani. They’re complete opposites. Andrew's light complected, clean, perfect. The other guy, Alpha Paul if my memory serves me right, is dark, gruff, and has a roughness to him that I don’t find the least bit attractive.

I must be the only one. All the women at the bar and even Felicity are staring at him with heated, lust-filled eyes. Felicity moves in, batting her eyelashes and taking his drink order. I see her scrawl her number on a napkin, setting it and a beer in front of him with a flirty smile. The guy picks up the beer, looks at the napkin with disgust before pushing it away, and goes back to staring at Dani. Felicity scoffs then walks to the other end of the bar to nurse her pride.

Andrew is watching the man now, his eyes going from pained to angry as he looks back and forth between Dani and the lumbering alpha. He throws back the rest of his glass, then pours some more to replace it. When the people sitting between him and Alpha Paul get up and move, disturbed by Andrew’s staring, he slides over to the seat right next to him.

I’m trying not to eavesdrop, but Flora is urging me to, driving me closer as both our ears perk.

“It’s called dueling piano night,” Andrew tells the man, who turns an annoyed gaze to Andrew making Andrew smirk, “She always wins. My customers are not going to be happy when she leaves.”

Andrew looks back to Dani who is laughing at something Toni said, wincing like looking at her is causing him pain. “Not happy at all.”

“You love her,” the bulking alpha asks him. Andrew runs his hands through his messy short hair, making a pang shoot through my heart.

A tear slips down my face hearing his next words, “Yes, I love her.”

It hurts. It hurts like hell to hear, even though I knew it was true. It’s been four years. Four years! I shouldn’t still be this affected hearing a man I rejected four years ago say he loves another. He admitted it to her mate, and that mate doesn’t even seem affected by the words, but they’re tearing a hole in me.

I can’t hear anymore. My wolf can’t hear anymore. Flora is howling in pain and I feel like a knife is stabbed through my heart.

“Bathroom,” I mutter out to Felicity, not trusting my voice or my emotions enough to say more. I don’t want to be caught crying over something that is my own fault.

Just a few days ago, I was cheering for Andrew and Dani. I wanted him to be happy with someone who I thought deserved him. Guilt rushes over me now, knowing I was cheering for something that ended up hurting him in the end.

I rush out the door, running for the bathroom so I can fall apart in solitude. The stall door closes, and I buckle over, letting the regret, guilt, and sorrow overtake me. I did this. I made him this miserable. If I hadn’t rejected him all those years ago, he never would have fallen prey to a woman like that. Someone who would choose a monster over the most perfect man to ever exist.

“You did do this,” Flora seethes, trying to tamper down her own grief, “I told you! I told you not to do it!”

“I know,” I whimper. She did tell me. He deserves better than me, but he also deserves not to feel the pain he is feeling right now. I did this.

I let my tears wrack my body for too long. My phone is buzzing in my pocket and I know that it’s Felicity calling and texting to tell me to come back. We were so busy. I need to get back to work. I exit the stall, examining my face in the mirror. I look like a mess. My makeup has tear streaks through it and my mascara is in globs.

I fish my compact with creamed concealer from my apron pocket, cleaning up my face as best I can. I use the end of my pen to work the clumps out of my wet mascara, getting most of them out before reapplying more. My eyes are red-rimmed, but I look much more composed. Make-up is thicker than normal, but in the faded lights it shouldn’t be too noticeable. I rearrange my fringe to conceal my scar a little better on my forehead, take a deep breath, then exit the bathroom, running right into a firm body.

“I’m so sorry,” I sputter, then meet the person’s eyes and freeze. Of course, it’s Andrew. Why wouldn’t it be Andrew I run into as soon as I almost get my emotions under control again?

His hands steady me, gripping my arms before releasing me when he knows I’ve got my footing.

“Are you alright?” he asks, meeting my eyes, making Flora whimper and mewl. He scrutinizes my face, and I suddenly feel self-conscious.

“I’m fine. I’m sorry for running into you,” I tell him in a soft voice.

He sighs, running his hands through his hair again and looking away. “Were you working?”

I nod. Of course, he didn’t notice me at the bar. The pang of neglect and denial shoots through me, and a whimper escapes my lips. Andrew jerks his head down, staring at me and studying my expression. I try to school it to hide my pain, but I don’t think I’m doing a good job. His eyes soften, and he places a hand on my shoulder, sending a faint current over my skin.

“What’s wrong?” he stoops down, looking deeper into my eyes. I can smell the alcohol on his breath, along with that familiar scent of fresh water and musk. I close my eyes for a moment, trying to conceal the emotions his scent brings me. I rejected him. I shouldn’t be this affected by him still.

“I’m fine. I wasn’t feeling well, but I’ll be fine.”

He studies my face some more, his beautiful eyes boring into mine before I can’t take it anymore and look away.

“Are you going back to work?” his gentle voice and breath wash over me.

I nod, not trusting myself to speak.

“Can you give this to Dani? I meant to leave it with her mate and forgot.”

He reaches into his back pocket and hands me a blue envelope; the envelope all our paychecks come in.

His fingers linger on my shoulder for a few more seconds, his thumb rubbing gently over the fabric of my shirt before he releases me, walking in the direction of the hotel.

I sigh, closing my eyes while I collect myself again. My phone starts vibrating in my back pocket, encouraging me to go. I look down at the blue envelope in my hands. Yeah, I’ll give it to her. I don’t want him to have to see her again.