Sunflower

Chapter 13

Present Day Continued...

Chris

I drive through Hillcrest Cemetery slowly, praying to God I don't pass a cop who would surely question why I'm here at this hour. An eerie fog is starting to settle near the ground, making this place look even more creepy than it usually is.

I park on the side of the narrow roadway that runs through the cemetery and get out of the car. I look around, making sure the area is clear of any ghosts, ghouls or zombies. I don't believe in those types of things, but the vibe you get from a cemetery during the early morning hours will have you questioning everything.

As I near the top of the hill where Tommy is buried, I hear Lucy's voice. She's not crying, but rather...talking? Laughing? I move closer, listening carefully to what she's saying.

"Can you believe it? I'm so stupid right? Chris is such a good guy and I...I can't seem to get my s**t together," she slurs, very obviously drunk. "I love him...I love him so much. I can remember...when you told me I turned pink whenever he was nice to me, or when he kissed me, or when he tucked my hair behind my ear. Or when he said my name. He could make me blush so easily."

I move up behind the tree on top of the hill, hiding myself from her view. It feels wrong to eavesdrop on her like this, but this may be the only opportunity I have to get a little raw honesty from her.

"He doesn't make me feel like that anymore," she says, laying down on the ground next to Tommy's grave.

My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach. I knew things were changing between us, but I never knew we were losing the spark we used to have. Maybe because only one of us lost it.

"It's not his fault though...it's mine...I feel like...I can't let him give up his dreams for me because I'm not worth it. I used to be, years ago. I used to be...someone who was worthy of his love. But now...I'm not that same girl anymore. He's not that same guy. And...maybe we just don't fit into each other's world now."

I'm just about make my presence known, but she continues. "I can't let him go to the other side of the world while things are...like this...but...I also can't let him stay here and give up a huge opportunity for me. I keep telling myself that one day, he'll thank me. He'll be a rich, successful businessman, traveling the world. He'll barely remember his college girlfriend..."

She sits up and pulls her knees up to her chest. She looks up to the sky, which is full of stars tonight. Now that I'm looking at it myself, it's breathtaking. It's the perfect kind of sky to sit under while you remind your girlfriend of five years that she does still love you, no matter what she thinks.

"I don't want that either though," Lucy says after a while. "I don't want him to forget about me. I don't want him to move on and find someone else. But I also don't want to hold him back. And that's what I'm doing right now. I'm keeping him from moving on with his life, because I'm afraid I won't be in it much longer. How do you even tell someone that though? How do you say, I love you, but this has to be over? Because you need to experience life apart from me..."

"Why?" I ask, stepping out from behind the tree and making her gasp in surprise.

She stares up at me in shock for a few seconds before she's able to answer. "Chris...I..."

"Why do I need to experience life apart from you?" I ask, slowly walking towards her.

She stutters out some kind of inaudible response and stands up, looking like she's about to make a run for it. I quickly close the space between us and grab her arm to stop her.

She looks down at my hand and back up at me.

"Why can't you just believe that I love you enough to stay faithful, even if we're not in the same place? What have I done to make you think you can't trust me?" I ask, despair dripping from my voice.

She's still so surprised to see me, she can't speak. Tears roll down her face and while it should make me angry, all I want to do his hug her. She broke up with me. She broke my heart. But it's me that's here in the middle of the night. Because I know her better than her best friend of twelve years does. I know her better than her own parents do. I know her better than anyone does.

"Lucy...I'm not going to Australia if it means I have to give you up. So if my internship is what you're using to end our relationship, it's no longer on the table. Tell me...do you still want to end this? Even if I stay?"

"You can't stay! I won't let you! You have to go!" She answers quickly.

"I don't have to do anything-"

"Please! Don't stay because of me," she cries.

"Why not?! If I stay, it's over. If I go, it's over. What do I have to do to ensure that, no matter what else happens, I get to keep you?! That's the option that I want. Where's that one?!"

"Chris..."

"I won't let you do this. I won't. If my internship is the only reason you're breaking up with me, like you say it is, then me turning it down should mean everything goes back to normal, right? Only...that's not what you want. Because it's not just about the internship. You're getting tired of me."

"I never said that," she cries, hanging her head.

"Look at me."

She hesitates for a while, but finally looks up.

"Be honest with me, please. Is it really the internship? Or are you falling out of love with me?" I ask her.

Seconds of gut wrenching silence tick by painfully slow. My heart pounds in my ears and my lungs seem to suddenly be filled with lead.

I focus on those perfect pink lips as they wordlessly open and close until finally, she speaks. "I don't love you anymore."

Even though I don't believe her, it still hurts to hear her say that. A lot. She hangs her head while I seem to be frozen in place, paralyzed by the poison her sting has caused.

"You're lying. You still love me, I know you do," I finally say, shaking my head in disbelief.

But she doesn't move. Her silence might hurt worse than words. I'm not sure how much more of this torture I can take before I completely lose it. I've never felt so on edge before.

"Lucy..."

But still, nothing.

I sigh in frustration, throwing my head back. That's when I notice the stars again. And something about the beautiful, peaceful masterpiece from above helps me to draw the strength I need to go on.

"If this is the way you want it, then fine. I'll go. But when I walk away from you tonight, I'm walking away for good. If you can live with watching me walk away forever, then I guess there's nothing else I can do," I say.

When she still doesn't look up at me, I nod, accepting the fact that it's really over. And while I want closure...no, I need closure, I'll sacrifice my peace of mind to give her what she wants. If she doesn't love me the way she used to, I don't want her to pretend for my sake. I want her all or nothing, and if she's not willing to give me her all, then it's best we end things now.

I turn and walk away quickly, hoping she's call out my name to stop me and tell me she was wrong.

She doesn't, of course, because this isn't the grand romantic end to a movie. This is real life, and in real life, love fades away.

For some people....

Annie

I haven't slept a wink all night. I can't stop thinking about Chris and Lucy and how conflicted I feel about their situation.

Lucy is my best friend and I'll always love her, no matter what. I only know Chris because of Lucy. It's easy to choose sides for me, but it's not about sides. It's not about who's right or wrong. Anyone can see Lucy is clearly in the wrong here. It's about letting my best friend make the biggest mistake of her life.

To top it off, I feel like she's keeping something from me. I can't bring myself to believe that she'd just drop Chris over an internship without so much as an effort. There's more to the story than that, and I'm determined to get to the bottom of it.

Chris called Sam this morning and asked if he could help him move some stuff out, so I guess that means Lucy has been serious about this breakup. I just knew she'd come to her senses last night; especially after they hooked up in the bathroom. But s*x was never an issue for them. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they continued to hook up even if they never get back together.

I know I've got to do something, but I'm at a loss.

My thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the front door. I get up and groan, as if it's a huge inconvenience to walk the twelve or so feet from my couch. When I open the door, I'm surprised to see Andrew and Cole.

"What are you guys doing here this early?" I ask them as they welcome themselves inside.

"What do you mean? You told us to be here at this time," Andrew says. "Do you not remember?"

"Why do we trust anything she says when she's drunk?" Cole asks, smirking at Andrew.

"Oh yeah..." I remember my plan from last night, I just didn't think anyone took me seriously, since they rarely ever do. "You guys still want to do something? Even though...."

"Even though what?" Andrew asks.

"Chris is about to move his stuff out of the apartment. I think they're really serious about this breakup," I say.

Cole and Andrew share a look. Andrew blows out a breath, looking about as heartbroken by this news as I feel. "There's no way Lucy wants this."

"I agree. So...if you're still down, I guess we can give it one last shot," I say, looking around to make sure Sam can't hear me. He's dead set on any intervention on our behalf. He's one of those kinds of people who believe things will work themselves out. If Lucy and Chris are meant to be, they'll find their way back to each other, eventually. Me, on the other hand, I feel like they need a gentle, or violent- if the situation calls for it, nudge in the right direction. "Do you guys remember what I said? About the perfect day Chris gave Lucy for her birthday last year?"

They nod, so I continue. "We helped him pull that date off, so we should be able to remember it. My plan is to recreate that date and-"

"No, don't you dare," Sam says, walking up and joining us. "I told you not to intervene, especially not that way."

"Why not?" I ask in disbelief. "It's perfect!"

"It was a great idea, but it didn't have the end result Chris was hoping for."

"What do you mean?" Cole asks.

"You all thought if Chris had purposed at the end of that date, Lucy would've said yes. But you're wrong," Sam answers. "She didn't say yes."

Our jaws practically drop to the floor. At first, I'm confused. Because Lucy never told me Chris proposed. She would tell me that, even if she said no. She would've told Andrew too.

"He asked?" Cole asks in shock. "But...I didn't know that. Did you?" he asks Andrew.

Andrew shakes his head, looking a little upset that Lucy could keep something like this from him. I know the feeling.

Sam sighs. "Look, he didn't want anyone to know because it was embarrassing. He asked, she said she wasn't ready for something like that and they moved on."

"How did you know?" I ask with an attitude, crossing my arms over my chest. "Why would either of them tell you, but not us?"

"Chris just told me about it last night, after Lucy broke up with him. He said things haven't been the same since that happened and he thinks Lucy is using his internship as a reason to finally end things for good," Sam replies.

Genuine shock covers our faces. Was Lucy really looking for a way out? Or is there still more to this story that none of us know about yet?