Rogue Heart

The Challenges Of Parenthood...

Chapter Eleven: The Challenges of Parenthood...

HORACIO

FINALLY! The day was here! Ultrasound day!

Linking to Tati that I had finished up work, I appeared in a smaller room at the Crescent Moon hospital and this time, it was my Fairy Queen who greeted me, sitting on the side of the bed and reaching up to cup my face, Bertrand, Talon, and Raven standing behind her, grinning as she elatedly sang out, “Ready to see something that will bring you immense joy?”

“YES!” I eagerly returned, only to have her hands fall to my chest, pushing me back slightly as she moved her pretty beige skirt with large blue and white flowers and high slits to the side, revealing her gorgeous right leg that now held a matching sparkling sandal to the left, leading me to laughingly respond, “A sight to behold indeed—that beautiful leg is no longer hidden by a cast!”

Sighing contentedly, Tati returned, “You have no idea what a relief it is to be rid of that thing! Now, let’s move on to round two of making my King incredibly happy.”

Lying back, she lifted her white lace top before I took hold of Tati’s hand, intertwining our fingers as I anxiously peered at the little screen as Talon brought the girls into view. It was truly an amazing sight that took my breath away—the girls haloed in a glowing magical bubble, measuring just as Tati described, like two little strawberries, but much different in shape as their heads were clearly formed now, as were—much to my delight and awe—their bodies and limbs as Rhiannon and Rani’s hearts looked like they were beating a thousand times a minute in their little chests...

“They’re so tiny,” I exhaled out in wonderment. Tati giggled, continuing to do so as I said with my next gasped breath, “Did they just wave?”

‘And kicked,” Raven amusingly relayed, “Seems they are putting on quite the show for their parents.”

Talon and Bertrand appeared to be in awe as well, the Moon Stone doctor thanking our doc again for allowing him to follow the interesting Crescent Moon pregnancies, finding Tati’s—while being the polar opposite—just as intriguing as Tink's, our girls the smallest babies he had ever encountered. Both the docs were pleased with their progress, easing their father’s mind as they reported Rhiannon and Rani were doing well, as was their mother...

Pressing the button on the side of the bed, Talon kindly stated, “While I would like to see you put on a little more weight, you have regained a pound even after removing your cast, Auntie, which means we’re at least moving in the right direction. As you are about to enter your second trimester, however, I would like to see more consistent weight gain. Though with the petite sizes of your girls, half a pound per week is probably all we can expect.”

Humored, I chortled out, “Half a pound? You’re talking to an expert on food consumption, Talon. I’ll make sure tons of starch are added to Tati’s diet so we can at least see a little bump soon.”

One of our girls appeared to lift her arm in victory, leading Tati to delightedly gush, “Oh, my! I was right. Rani is going to take after her father and be a bottomless pit. Daddy has just made her a very happy little girl.”

Over the moon as we walked down hand-in-hand towards her bench by the water following our visit, I looked down to see my Queen appearing a bit down and distracted—felt it too as I worriedly asked, “Are you alright? Too much, too soon on your leg?”

“No, my leg is fine,” Tati assured me, sighing, “I’m just contemplating making a little visit—to Carson’s parents.”

This wasn’t the first time she had mentioned that thought, leading me to cautiously reiterate, “Still think you should talk to Carson about that first, beautiful.”

“I would rather not as he’ll more than likely tell me no,” she despondently replied, “While quirky and odd—intellectually speaking, not adorably speaking like their son—I’ve never understood Sabrina and Otto’s lack of interest in Carson’s upbringing. Their explorations and experiments have always taken priority over him, as sad as that is to say.”

“Well, based on what I’ve seen over the years, not everyone is made for parenthood, love,” I thought out loud, “And fortunately, Carson seems to have overcome the challenge thanks to his grandmother and Larissa, as well as you and Aruna. Maybe you should just let the cards fall into place on their own.”

“I can see it in his eyes, Horacio. My sweet boy wants his parents at his and Charlotte’s wedding,” Tati despairingly returned, “Deep inside, it’s important to Carson for them to be there.”

Kissing the top of her head, I knowingly retorted, “Relaxing by the lake just got delayed, didn’t it?”

Hugging me tight from the side, she determinedly confirmed, “It did, I’m afraid—but not before I enlist a little help. Ready yourself, love—we’re about to appear back at the wing.”

***************

JILLIE

From the moment I met her, I have always respected Tuuli and her sacrifice when it came to her youngest child and only son. Mattias’ destiny was laid out from the moment he was born when Soren grandly announced to the entire Howling Wind pack that his grandson would be the future of his family’s legacy...

Her whole life changed that day, Tuuli moving back into the main house with Samir and their family—including his sisters, Andromeda and Maia—from their large brookside home to keep Mattias safe and protected, always under the watchful eye of his grandparents, who kept a close eye on their grandson’s upbringing, grooming him from very young to take over Soren’s role and at times, making Tuuli feel like an outsider in her son’s life, something Mattias felt bad about often, trying very hard to keep their close bond intact. Something that had been harder to do as of late, leading me to try to help him in that regard...

Turning back towards his parents, Mattias opened the door further, hesitantly replying to his mother’s kind request to enter, “Uh, sure, come on in. Everything okay?”

Samir—an incredibly tall, dark-haired fit gentleman with dark blue eyes—as always, had a broad smile on his chiseled face as he quickly assured him, “Everything is fine, Son. Your mother just wanted to steal a few moments with you and see what you and Jillian have done with your suite.”

“You’ve had to spend more and more time with Father lately. Understandable, of course, as you are being readied to take over as Alpha of Howling Wind soon,” Tuuli stoically stated with a kind smile, but in her blue eyes, Mattias’ mother was unable to hide the deep sadness she was obviously feeling, “Like your grandfather, your father and I are very proud of the focus and work ethic you’ve shown since you were thankfully returned home to us safe. It’s also perfectly understandable that after your long days, you would want to unwind and spend time with Jillian, which is why I’ve refrained from disturbing you.” After a momentary pause, she reluctantly admitted, “But, I’ve missed our morning time together at breakfast—tremendously so, in fact.”

Samir—one of Soren’s long-time and most dedicated territory managers—also understood and seemed to handle it better, though it obviously affected him too, as he added with great hope in his tone, “Another reason your mother and I thought maybe we could have a family celebration of your engagement to Jillian in the east garden this evening. Alta says she will make sure you finish your meetings at a decent time and join us for some dessert with Soren. Ms. Dottie has offered to make a favorite of both of yours to tempt you—a Chantilly cake.”

Wrapping his arm around his mother, Mattias sweetly pushed a stray strand of her blonde hair away from her full, round face, tenderly kissing her cheek before affectionately replying, “Sorry I’ve been so busy over the last few weeks and missed our breakfasts, Mom. Dinner sounds great—and thanks for getting me out of meetings on time. It's been a while since that’s happened.”

Her love for him now immensely reflected in her blue gaze, Tuuli ardently replied, “I’ll assist as much as I can in that regard anytime you wish, Mattias, though, as we both know, up until just recently, your grandfather has always been a workaholic. Not that his life’s work leading Howling Wind isn’t admirable, nor can I say that he has been anything but a wonderful, loving father. But if I can offer any advice, it would be to remind you that the hands of time pass quickly. Do not allow being Alpha to cause you to forget to enjoy as much of the spoils of life as you can from the very beginning of your reign, my darling baby boy, because our time on earth in the end—is fleeting.”

“I know, Mom,” Mattias poignantly sighed, “And I’ll figure out a good rhythm between both work and home—promise.”

Her wisdom touched me deeply, leading me to earnestly breathe out, “That was beautiful, Tuuli. I’ll have to write that one down in my journal so I can remember it too.”

Hugging Mattias to her side, his mother sweetly murmured, “Mattias, have I mentioned how much I love your mate? And that I thank the Moon Goddess for her every day in my morning affirmations? Our dear Jillian has even been kind enough to plan lunches for us twice a week to keep me up to date on my son.”

“And has graciously invited me to join them for dessert,” Samir adoringly stated, “Like your mother, I’ve quite enjoyed our visits, especially our last luncheon where she asked your mother for help in planning your wedding next year.”

“Indeed, she did, much to my delight and Mother’s surprise when I told her earlier today,” Tuuli mused, appreciatively adding, “Though I did assure her that Jillian and I plan to have her involved in the process as well, of course. In fact, I’ve already invited Tatiana to tea next week so we can talk about Jillian’s wedding dress and some initial thoughts about your special day. Aunt Aruna will be joining us as well.”

“Oh, what a lovely idea! Thank you, Tuuli,” I excitedly responded, “It will be so nice to host a visit with Auntie and Luna Aruna here at Howling Wind.”

Our eyes locked with one another, my blue-eyed Alpha’s gaze softened, filling with devotion, “It will be nice. In fact, I’ll mention it to Grandfather this afternoon so we can carve out some time to see them as well after you ladies are finished with the initial plans for what I know will be the perfect wedding day.”

The rest of his short break was spent showing Mattias’ parents around our suite. Tuuli and Samir immediately fell in love with Auntie’s portrait of the brook, leading me to link her, asking if she could paint a similar one for them as a gift from Mattias and me. A thank you for all their sacrifices and the boundless love and support of their son that has never waned...

***************

ARUNA

Tati’s sudden request that I join her on a quick visit to Shadow Moon was surprising at first, but a trip that, truthfully, I had thought of making myself several times since the return of our Rogue Eight girls. My only hesitation being that Carson’s parents had made plans to return to Crescent Moon several times even before their reappearance in our lives, only to disappoint their son by continuing to break countless promises made to Carson in the end, making any attempt I would make feel futile...

Appearing in a dense, swampy area on the outskirts of the territory, I was thankful for my old friend’s warning that we should casually dress in simple long-sleeved shirts, jeans, and long wet boots, looking around the marsh and weeds, distastefully sighing, “It’s rather depressing here, isn’t it? Are Sabrina and Otto really residing in a tent close by?”

Her tone held a similar disdain as Tati knowingly replied, “Yes, but you know them, Aruna. This is anything but depressing for Sabrina and Otto from a science standpoint.”

There was no denying she was right, the twosome always seeming to follow the beat of their own eccentric drum, leading me to ask if she knew exactly where they were, fortunately receiving the answer quickly as Carson’s parents suddenly stood up in the tall grass not far from us. Otto’s lanky appearance appeared to be unchanged over the years, his short sandy blonde hair, clothes and safety glasses covered in black muck as he disbelievingly called out, “I knew I heard something. Luna—Aruna? And—Tatiana?”

Panic seemed to hit Sabrina, who also looked exactly the same, shorter in stature and pencil thin, her oval face smudged, and dark brown ponytail splattered with the same grime as she tersely blurted out, “Don’t move! We have aquatic nets set directly in front of you. The last thing we need is for you to fall. For a multitude of reasons, including potential harm to the much-needed gobiocypris rarus we have had a devil of a time finding and capturing for our toxicology trials.”

Their agility in trudging and jumping around the wetland towards us was impressive as the couple meticulously worked their way back to our area, Sabrina curiously stating as they neared—sounding even more unfeeling in her cadence than I remembered, “As it appears neither of us can reach Carson, I’m finding myself feeling a bit of concern about your highly unexpected visit. Is he why you are here?”

I found myself a bit miffed at her delivery, but was able to cover it well, kindly replying, “Carson is fine, Sabrina.” My protectiveness of my boy shined through as I then lightly admonished, “Though, based on what you’ve just said, I’m afraid his feelings may be hurt that you canceled your plans to return to Crescent Moon—again.”

Softly clearing her throat, Tati benevolently greeted, “It is good to see you both. It’s been far too long.”

Always direct, Sabrina brusquely surmised, “Good to see you as well, Tati. Though I must say, your ability to maintain such a youthful glow in your appearance would lead one to think no time has passed at all. I get the feeling that it isn’t just genetics—or your shocking impending motherhood after all these years.”

Otto—always a fretful sort—immediately began apologizing profusely for not reaching out upon hearing about Tati’s return and for their prolonged absence before anxiously inquiring, “I take it you two have sought us out to remind us of Carson’s wedding to Charlotte? To confirm that we will be in attendance?”

“As I know it would mean a great deal to him, Otto—yes, that is the reason for our visit,” I respectfully returned.

“Honestly, I have no idea why it means so much to him,” Sabrina aloofly sighed, “We’ve more than proven that Carson benefits most when we don’t interfere in his life.”

Aghast, Tati incredulously blurted out, “You truly believe that Carson benefits most by your absence in his life? Sabrina—you and Otto are Carson’s parents—he not only desperately wants you to be at his wedding, but that sweet boy misses your presence in his life every day—tremendously so!”

Finally, emotion appeared to filter into Sabrina’s rather gaunt features as she regretfully languished, “Based on the links we have shared with him where Carson has relayed immense happiness, I believe your theory to be not only erroneous, but debunked. Not to mention, I think we can all agree that while Otto and I tried—and we did try our hardest—parenthood has always been the one equation that has evaded us. The best thing we ever did was to do what he and I do best, continue our scientific explorations and allow Carson the benefit of being raised around the greatest influences at Crescent Moon in order to lead the life he always wanted—especially Aldric, Otto’s mother, Larissa, and both of you.”

Otto’s eyes fell to the ground as he uncomfortably admitted, “Sabrina and I are forever grateful to all of you for providing Carson with what we couldn’t—and that he seems to have taken after his paternal grandmother’s side a great deal. He wouldn’t be the young man he is today without all of you and, most importantly, Carson wouldn’t be as happy as he is now. Sabrina is right—had we stayed or worse, dragged him with us—he wouldn’t have had the stability or nurturing required to live out his dreams.”

“From early on, we realized our way of life was never going to be his,” Sabrina decisively concurred, “Carson had no interest in science. Being a warrior like Otto’s father, Finley, is all the boy ever talked about wanting to be. He would have been miserable traveling all over the country with us.”

“I don’t believe that to be entirely true, Sabrina,” Tati softly argued, “Carson did inherit your investigative tendencies. He has proven to be a valuable asset in the field, deciphering clues left behind by enemies and rogues alike, accurately depicting many scenarios that occurred.”

Her brilliant tactic worked, sparking Sabrina’s interest as she astonishingly replied, “Is that so? Carson has never mentioned that facet of his work in our conversations. How interesting.”

Taking in a deep, calming breath, I quietly encouraged, “He’s not a little boy anymore, Sabrina. Our Carson is all grown up. Perhaps it’s time for you and Otto to consider reacquainting yourselves with your son again by spending more than just a few hours with Carson at Crescent Moon.”

“You won’t even have to make a long journey. I can have you appear there at any given moment, whenever you would like,” Tati pleasantly urged, “Charlotte would very much like to see you as well.”

“Mmmmm,” Sabrina thoughtfully hummed, “I haven’t seen Charlotte since she was very little. She was a beautiful child with those big blue eyes and long blonde curls. Carson mentioned you were assisting her with a potion for conceiving after the vicious attack she endured and fortunately survived.” Her interest apparently peaking again, she astutely added, “I’m quite interested in learning more about the methodology behind your medicinal concoctions.”

“Maybe if we follow their advice and test the waters a little at Crescent Moon, Tatiana would be willing to tell you more, Sabrina,” Otto quietly suggested, “And we’ve only just started our latest round of experiments, which makes it the perfect time to go have a little visit with Carson.”

A feeling of elation flowed through me as it appeared our operation was a success following a brief pause as Sabrina peered deeply into her mate’s loving gaze, an affirming nod given by Otto just before she agreed, and the two began packing up their tools, tubes, and jars to take back to their tent. As they disappeared into the small canvas pavilion and Tati and I waited for them to pack for our trip back to Crescent Moon, my greatest hope was that Carson’s parents would find a way to reconnect with their son...

***************

CHARLOTTE

I couldn’t believe it when Auntie and Luna Aruna linked to inform us that they had paid Carson’s parents a visit and all four would be arriving back to Crescent Moon soon. Oh, how I loved them and the fact that they went so far out of their way to help his wish come true! At least, I hoped that Sabrina and Otto would decide to attend our wedding...

Carson rarely showed that his dysfunctional relationship with his parents bothered him. In fact, they were something he rarely touched on, even with me. Instead, he would always nonchalantly brush the subject off by saying ‘that’s just my parents’ and ‘science is their thing’ anytime their absence was brought up. That’s probably why he got intensely anxious upon hearing the news of Sabrina and Otto’s arrival...

Hurriedly running out of the bathroom in just a pair of jeans, Carson ran his hand through his wet sandy hair as he bolted inside our walk-in closet, despairingly rambling out, “Luna and Auntie didn’t have to do that. Go to a murky swamp to talk to my parents and, somehow, figure out a way to drag them back here. I can only imagine how awful and disgusting it was—and how uncomfortable the conversation was.”

Walking around the side of the bed as he came out pulling on a new teal t-shirt I bought him, I affectionately replied, “They did it because they love you. And honestly, they didn’t drag them back here. It was your father’s idea to visit, remember?”

His eyes on the ground, Carson uncomfortably returned, “As shocking as that is—yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Grabbing hold of his hands, I dipped my head down, forcing him to look at me, “Hey, I thought you wanted this. Talk to me.”

“I thought I wanted it to, but now that it’s actually happening—oh, I don’t know, Lottie,” he desperately sighed, shrugging before defeatedly throwing his head back, continuing as he slowly brought it back down again, “My parents are just—an entity all their own. They don’t think or act like me—heck, if I’m honest, they don’t think or act like anyone you’ll ever meet in your life!”

Nervously shifting his weight, I worried about the panic I felt shooting through him as Carson continued, “Over the years, as their visits got shorter and shorter, then fewer and farther between because of how weird and awkward it got, I just got used to, you know—my folks not wanting to see me. Which makes this overwhelming need I feel for them to be at our wedding even more confusing and has me wondering if the only reason they are showing up now is because of guilt. What if they don’t want to be there? What if random check-in links are all Sabrina and Otto are capable of and really want?”

The fierce insecurities that spilled out of Carson broke my heart as I cupped his face, fervently declaring, “If we feel that’s the case, then you and I will politely thank them for their visit and inform them that they don’t have to feel obligated to come to our wedding. And we will know in our hearts that we did everything we could to include your parents on what I hope will be the happiest day of their son’s life.”

Placing a tender kiss on my lips, he sweetly murmured, “It will be the happiest day of my life, Lottie, because all my days with you are the happiest ones.”

Running my hand through his mussed hair, I peered deep into Carson’s blue eyes, wholeheartedly whispering, “And mine are with you. Right by your side, through thick and thin. Always.”

Silently nodding in agreement, we headed out the door towards Aruna’s wing, hope returning to my heart that for the first time in a long time, Carson’s parents wouldn’t disappoint the man I loved...