The Heart of The Pack

chapter 9

Ashley pov

I can’t stop thinking about Amara, I can’t even focus on my work. She obviously planed something for us all last night and we failed her. She wouldn’t even let me apologise, not that I could say much, in a dinning hall full of people. My door opens and something drops on my desk and I’m this close to snapping at them to leave when I hear her. “could you look over this for me please Ashley” really glad I didn’t snap now, she’s here what do I even say. I look at her shocked she’s even here, oh goddess what is she wearing I can’t stop staring at her, I try and focus on the folder and what she has to say. It sounds good but I can’t help but keep my thoughts on that little outfit. She knows how to run a packhouse I trust her, so I go to sign but she hands me the pen in her hair and her hair falls to my desk. I’m practically drooling looking at her, she’s my mate and all I want is to hold her and so I walk around to her handing the pen and folder out for her.

“It will need Alexander’s signature too, but since I’ve signed it he probably won’t bother to read it. Amara please about last night...”

“I don’t want to talk about it” she interrupts me, oh goddess she’s going to cry. I want to hold her even more now, but she runs from me. I need to figure out a way to fix this. “I wanted last night to be special for all of us. I wanted to complete our bonds and if I had of stayed in this office any longer yesterday. I would have given in then and it wouldn’t have been special, but perhaps it’s better this way, maybe it was to soon. I’m just trying to find my place in this pack, so please let me do that. And if I can’t well then there’s always a place for me back home, but I have to try right? Even if it’s something I have to do alone, because I think last night was enough proof that I can’t count on the two of you. At least not yet, our bonds aren’t strong enough.” She runs out on me again.

Her words like a knife to my heart, Ally whines in my mind, knowing we disappointed our mate. I hold her jacket to my nose, tears threatening to fall, I won’t give up on us. She is meant to be here with us, we brought her here saying we would figure things out and we have done nothing. Zan links me about Amaras’s jacket and I let him know I have it. I can’t stop thinking about what she said, she wanted to complete the bond and do something special for us. What I would give to rewind time, to make it to that dinner and for all three of us to be whole. We can’t keep hiding her, to find her place people need to know that she is their Luna too.

‘Zan you need to be really careful talking to Amara, we are on the verge of losing her. She even spoke about leaving us, if she can’t find a way to fit in with us here. Please Zan we can’t lose our mate...’

‘Bit late telling me that ash’ he growled through the link. It no... I make a run for his office to see Amara standing there, I can see her heart shattering. The pain through my chest from the bond is killing me, and it’s nothing compared to how she feels.

“zan what the hell happened I just told you to be careful with her” she runs out of the packhouse. We run to the edge of the woods, I’m determined to follow her but Zan stops me.

“I think she needs space babe” as he says that we hear Amara cry out pain evident in her scream, which turns to a broken hearted howl. She’s going for a run, maybe this will give me time to figure out what Zan did. And once he does explain, I’m beyond pissed “she is our equal, she is our Luna, how the hell could you do that to her. She wanted to mate with us, that’s what the special dinner was about. She’s right we don’t know anything about each other, we came back and fell into old routines. Rather we should have found a new routine that she fits with, and spent some damn time with her. We failed as mates, and we need to make some changes in order to keep her. She’s not going to stay somewhere she feels, like she isn’t wanted and unhappy.”

I say that but the whole next week is hell, Amara avoids us both. She busies herself with the pack and every night we come home her door is shut and she eats in the kitchen since she has been helping cook. We knock but she doesn’t answer, she doesn’t open the door. She doesn’t spend anytime in the apartment and it’s losing her scent. My wolf Ally hasn’t spoken to me since that day, she feels like we failed and she’s right we did. The laundry shoot Amara wanted started being added to the house the day after we all fought and it took four days but they finally finished and I have to give her credit. It’s a great idea and super efficient we would usually get our clothes back a day or two later but now by bedtime they’re back in our room. And the omegas seem happier, I went over the new schedule and it’s working well. They even get a rotating 2 days off per week, they spend 3 working days in their preferred areas and the other two filling in for days the days off or helping out in other sections. And it’s great rather then omegas running around with 50 tasks each they have set goals and tasks, it is way more efficient. The house is running better then it ever has, all thanks to Amara and it only took her a week. Even zan commented that the pack spirit has risen and he likes that the meal time foods actually come out on time now.

“I can’t wait to go out tonight, we haven’t gone dancing in ages.” I hear an omega squeal then she looks at me. “sorry Luna we are just a bit excited to celebrate, we will get back to work.”

“that’s OK, what are you girls celebrating?” I’m glad they’re happy, it’s a nice to focus on something other then the pain I have been feeling.

“Well one of the omegas found her mate and she will be leaving with him tomorrow. Amara arranged for a bunch of us girls to go dancing, as a farewell and we’re all getting ready in her room later.” She’s jumps up and down, then scurries off to finish her work, so she can get ready. Well at least I know that Amara will be home later, I might get a chance to talk with her, if there’s girls coming in and out of her room. Wait... girls coming in and out of her room, Ally responds growling. I haven’t felt this way since Charlotte tried to take Zan, I’m jealous I... I want my mate, both of them.

‘Go claim mate she’s ours’ Ally puffs her chest at me.

‘We said we would give her space’ I tell her.

After dinner I notice a bunch of omega girls run off, probably to get ready for their night out, rushing Zan and we head to the apartment. But it’s quiet and the lights are still out, knocking on Amaras door, as usual she doesn’t respond. But I can’t take it since there’s meant to be a bunch of other girls in her room, I open the door without her permission. And what I see makes me fall to the floor, Zan comes over cradling me as I cry. She’s gone, her bed has been stripped and new linens sit at the foot of the bed folded. Her closet is empty and her scent is practically gone, it’s like she’s a ghost in her own home. Although was this ever really her home, we put her in a room and that was then end of it, she never spread out and made things her own. How long has she been gone and we haven’t noticed. The day we fought I vowed to make her happy and to fix things and make this pack her home. But she avoided us and zan said she probably needed space, so I tried to give her space not realising that we had actually failed her again. She had left and we didn’t even know, she probably thinks we don’t care.