The Heart of The Pack

chapter 8

Amara pov

I cried on the floor, leaning back against the door, I had sat at that table for hours waiting. Thinking maybe they got distracted with work, then I watched them start to bang on the counter. They didn’t even notice me like I was invisible, I walked to my room and slammed my door and they didn’t notice. Why am I here I’m invisible I was standing right in front of them, I ran off earlier today because if I didn’t I would have jumped them both there and then. And I don’t think losing my virginity or mating with them should happen on a couch. I wanted it to be here and special, well it was special I guess they just skipped the me part.

I could hear them talking on the other side of the door, I was so close to opening it but that’s the bond. I deserve a moment of feeling whatever this is and by the time I woke up that sadness turned to anger. They brought me here, saying we would figure it out but we are yet to have a conversation about that. And they haven’t even told anyone what we are, so why would I think they would want to mate. I mean yea I could tell they wanted s*x from my but we never discussed actual mating. I’m invisible to them, but not for long I’ll make them see me and then decide what I should do. Time to make some changes, I shower and dress a little more provocative then usual and wear makeup. Bright red lipstick to match my hair, and my usual pen I have an idea for that later.

I spent all morning arranging the new schedule and handing out timelines, just before lunch I had all the new merchants lined up. Now this one little task I can’t do without Ashley’s approval and I know just how to get it done. After finishing a few things over lunch and making a small entrance on my two mates, I head to Ashley’s office. I open the door and enter and she hasn’t noticed its me yet, she has her head down in her hands. I place the file in front of her and take off my jacket. Leaning over the desk I open the folder “ could you look over this for me please Ashley” her eyes snap up to me then lower to my chest, they linger a little, then fall on to the folder.

“Um ok yea, so you want to install laundry shoots in each room? Won’t the laundry get mixed?” she glances back up again this time lingering on my lips.

“well I did think that at first but I also noticed all the room are numbered, I figure we get a few laundry bags per room with the numbers sewn on, then there would be no mix up. The omegas spend more time running up and down those stairs all day, then they do actually washing the laundry. This way they can have it put down the shoot, all they would have to do is wash fold and rebag. Obviously washing the bags too then another set of omegas could take the bags and put the clothes away. This place is just so big, it wastes the omegas time running around , I’m just trying to be more time efficient. What do you think?”

“Er , well it does make sense and I can see you’ve already rang up for quotes on the renovation and the bags. And It actually is a decent price, yea here let me sign it.” Ashley stumbles over her words distracted by me. I’m not sure just how much she actually heard, but it is a good investment.

“Oh here,” I hand her my pen, letting my hair fall around me and the tips landing on the table. She looks lost for a moment, frozen in mid air holding my pen and just staring at me. Standing up straight I put my hands on my hips and she wakes up, she quickly signs the papers and standing with the folder. She comes around to me and holds it out, I take the other end but she doesn’t let go.

“It will need Alexander’s signature too, but since I’ve signed it he probably won’t bother to read it. Amara please about last night...” I hold my hand up stopping her, I know my eyes will give me away I can feel the tears prickling.

“I don’t want to talk about it” she let’s the folder go in my hand. I retreat to the door forgetting my jacket, well maybe if it’s here she might actually think about me. I can feel the hurt radiating of her, so I decide to tell her anyway, even though I’m not ready. “I wanted last night to be special for all of us. I wanted to complete our bonds and if I had of stayed in this office any longer yesterday. I would have given in then and it wouldn’t have been special,” I can feel a tear fall as I turn to Ashley, pain clear on her face and probably mine. “but perhaps it’s better this way, maybe it was to soon. I’m just trying to find my place in this pack, so please let me do that. And if I can’t well then there’s always a place for me back home, but I have to try right? Even if it’s something I have to do alone, because I think last night was enough proof that I can’t count on the two of you. At least not yet, our bonds aren’t strong enough.” I turn and leave before the pain bursts from my chest.

Walking to Alexander’s office I regret leaving my jacket with Ashley, Alexander is a man and as much as I could tell my charm worked on Ashley. Men are more impulsive and he is likely to try and eat me alive looking like this. I need that signature though, I knock on his door and wait . When he calls I take a deep breath and step in, he and his beta and gamma look up at me. “ I just need you to sign this, Ashley already has,” I can feel all three men’s eyes lingering over my body.

“everyone out” Alexander’s voice oozes with his authority, I turn to walk out the door but. “not you Amara, bring me the file” I do as he asks and he flips it open signing it without even reading. Ashley was right, I take the folder and make it to the door before I realise he is hot on my heals. He turns me, my back on the door his hands on either side of my head while is bent over and we are face to face. “I let you get away with this little outfit because you were mostly covered. Where is your jacket?” he buries his head in my neck, making me gulp. As I’m going to answer he moves in a flash and I’m off my feet. His hands on my a$$ legs around his waist and he grinds his hard on into me, still with his face in my hair.

“Alexander stop please, put me down.” He does as I ask, his body shaking, it must of been hard to listen to me. “I accidentally left my jacket in Ashley’s office, I’ll go up and get another.” He pulls back to look at me level again, his eyes cloud with a mind link when they clear, I don’t see pain or hurt I see frustration.

“Why do you still insist on disrespecting me and ash by using our names like that.” He growls at me and I’m stunned.

“you preach disrespect like respect means anything to you. Where was your respect for me last night Alexander?” His anger peaks and his aura forces me to submit, I bear my neck for him and tears fall from my eyes. “I’m sorry alpha” Arabella whimpers out of me.

“s**t baby that’s not what I meant, I didn’t mean to force you to submit to me. Please don’t ever call me alpha, call me zan and Ashley likes just ash.” His aura dropped and I can tell it hurt him to see me submit like that. Doesn’t change the fact that he did it and I’m his mate he shouldn’t do that.

I push him away from me, “ how could you do that to me and how the hell would I know what either of you like. We’ve never actually had a conversation about ourselves, you don’t know me and I sure as hell don’t know you. You can’t even tell me what my favourite colour is, can you?” tears pouring down my eyes, his clouding for a moment and I use the distraction to swing the door open, to see Ashley holding my jacket.

“Zan what the hell happened, I just told you to...” I grab my jacket and run past her down the stairs.

I spot Mel Alexander’s mum, “here I need to go for a run.” I hand her the folder and keep running out the packhouse, to the surrounding woods.