The scope of love

Chapter 4

Book Entry: Meeting him

I knew I had to know him maybe it was because he seemed so aloof and distance and somewhere in me I wanted to break through the wall he seemed to have build around him. Out of all the other grouping I went there was never such an instant attraction. It wasn’t that I wanted to know him is that I needed to know him. Declan. A guy not made for me, a guy not in my grouping and a guy I had no reason to ever know. That’s the thing with these program, we don’t get theses feeling. Not once had I stopped and stared at a Taurus as I stopped and stared for him. 

I was determined to go back to see him again. It was tricky to go two days in a row, people will notice my absence I usually go every second day and pretend to be studying in my room on they days I go to other groupings. Even knowing this I packed the tie. Madison didn’t agree with this, she was so nervous. She is already nervous with the original plan, but now I am going ‘rogue’ as she put it. It’s still the same plan nothing had changed just the days were moved up. I feel like she is overreacting, but I also know that I owe her big time. She has been keeping my secrets and she has been covering for me. Madison was a true friend. I went to my classes and when lunch came I went to the bathroom to change. I then made my way to the grouping.

I sat there with the friends that I have made listening to their idle chatter. Every now and then I looked up and in the direction of Declan. My eyes couldn’t help but find him, my eyes wanted to look at him. Every now and then I would look at him and see his eyes lingering on me. He was obviously just as intrigued by me as I was by him. I started to wonder if what I was doing wasn’t wrong. I never felt like that until I saw Declan. I guess it was all in theory and only became practical when I saw him. The thing is what if I get him in trouble or what if he was interested in the program, me just jumping into his life could be the right thing for me or the wrong thing for him. Which is why after that day I tried to stay away, but my mind kept drifting to him. So against my better judgment I went back.

The process kept repeating itself I would stare at him staring at me. Then at night I would go to my room and think about him. Even though Madison wasn’t interested I started to tell her about him, not that I knew anything about him. I told her how it felt when he watched me. How it made my heart raise, my palms got sweaty and my face would flare up. I have never felt like this before. It’s insane how I don’t even know him yet and still he can make me feel like this. Madison became interested she suddenly saw it as a fairytale like I was reading a book to her. She wanted to know more and she wanted me to make my move. She wanted to know what he thought about me. I also wanted to know these things it kept me up at night. 

I got up that morning and decided to make myself up. If he was staring at me when I looked normal then when I put some effort in his eyes would pop out of his head. So I curled my hair pinning it up out of my eyes with diamond pins. I put on some foundation and concealer and put blush on my cheeks and the tip of my nose. Giving myself a sun kissed look. I then put on mascara and white eyeliner to make my eyes seem bigger. I was done earlier than usually and went to make some breakfast for Madison to say thank you for everything she has done for me. She was very happy about the food since she was tired of plane old cereal. We sat down and enjoyed our breakfast. She kept eyeing me knowingly. I know I pulled out all the stops for this, but I know I’ve got his eye, but I want to keep it. I actually want to encourage it. I knew today I needed to go to our lunch room first and then leave for the bathroom and not go back. People just need to see me because I’ve ducking out quite a lot.

It was finally lunch. I sat at the table mot taking any food because I wanted to get out of here as fast as possible. It’s then that Finley decided to come and bother me again.

“Did you do all that for me. Honey I’m flattered, but I love you no matter how you look as long as you are all mine.”

“You are delusional, none of this is for you. I’m not yours and I will never be get that into your stupid little head already.” I knew I was harsh but I was sick of him always hanging around and not taking a hint, but him making me angry gave me the perfect moment to storm out so I took it. I stormed out and went to my new grouping.

I was done waiting for him to make a move. All these looks shared between us was getting boring. I can make the first move there is absolutely no reason why I can’t. I got up and noticed everyone at my table was staring at me. They knew exactly where I was going. They have been watching this story play of for the last couple of days. I took a deep breath and walked over to him. He was once again sitting at the window staring out when he isn’t staring at me. As I got closer his friend tapped his knee and gestured towards me with his head. I stop a few steps away from him and looked down at him. It’s the first time that I’m seeing him up close. His long dark brown shoulder length hair messy from his fingers pulling through them and his light creamy brown eyes staring lazily up at me. He didn’t say anything, he just started.

“Hi I’m Brooke. I thought I should come and introduce myself.” I told him smiling kindly at him.

“I’m not interested.” He said simply and started to turn. I was flabbergasted by his behavior. He is clearly interested or he wouldn’t have stared at me so frequently.

“I didn’t ask you if you are interested, I introduce myself. You were supposed to introduce yourself back. That is how this go. Don’t tell me you don’t understand the concept of basic human decency.” That caught his attention as his head swipped back towards me.

“I’m Declan, but you already knew that.” He said smirking at me. I was irritated by his confidence.

“Just like you knew my name. What did you think that that I didn’t notice you staring.” I threw his way.

“I noticed you staring back that is for sure.” he answered cocky. A small smile tugged at my mouth. I tried so hard not to smile at him.

“And if I was, would you still say you aren’t interested?” I challenged what he had said previously. This time he smiled at me. He was liking what I had to say.

“Yes I noticed you, you are different from others, but I’m not interested. I’m not ready to give up my freedom. I know I’ll have to at some point, but I’m young I want to have fun, I don’t want to have a serious relationship. I know it’s all that you guys want, you came here because you didn’t find it at your previous school.” My back story was biting me in the ass. If only he knew.

“I’m not interested in serious. Don’t group me in with other people.” I said smiling at him, it was a secretive smile. He was looking at me searching for the truth. I turned and walked back to my table. I’ll just leave him with that.