The scope of love

Chapter 3

Book entry: My new normal

It’s crazy how fast you can get use to something and how ridiculously slow it can take you to get use to something else. I couldn’t get use the program I was at a snail pace when it came to that, but breaking the rule now that came to me crazy fast. This wasn’t just some crazy teenager whim. I wasn’t throwing a tantrum because I didn’t get what I wanted. This was a lot bigger. I wanted to hang out with whoever I wanted whenever I wanted. I didn’t want to have to wait for my time slot to go to a mall. Why had it become a normal fact that Pisces and Taurus had access to the malls and shops every second day between 10 am and 12 pm. I wanted to go shopping with my mother, but as soon as I got to high school I just became another Pisces in a group. A group my mother wasn’t apart of. The fact is in fighting against the system I was fighting for a normal and free society and not only for me which is why I put on the wrong colors and risked it, because freedom was worth the risk.

I’ve been doing this for over a month now and I haven’t found exactly what I’ve been looking for. I stay with each grouping for a week and then I rest a week because frankly it is a lot of information that I am taking in and I need to refresh my mind so that I don’t mess up. That first week I was with the Scorpios and Cancers. The scorpios were a group to my own heart with their need for privacy. Since then I have been to two other groups. A week after my first adventure I ventured into the Leo and Aquarius grouping. I must say The grouping was very welcoming. Especially the Leo’s they were very gracious, generous and broad minded. Although they were also a bit overbearing and bossy at times. I of course played the role of an Aquarius sporting a mustard yellow tie. The Aquarius was one of the harder ones I had to pull of my research gave me mixed signals. It said that I had to be friendly, yet mean. Caring yet aloof. Devoted yet cold and unable to commit fully. Although I must say that I had some of my best conversations with them. My favorite part of all this is meeting new people. My most favorite trait of theirs was how they were able to think outside the norm. They might be trapped in this program, but they made it their own. I saw why they were so perfectly match according to the statistics. I think a Leo want more than the norm they need that surprise and spontaneity in their life and an Aquarius can offer that.

Next I went to the Virgo and Libra group. This grouping works because they are so different from one another they both give a lot and this is very beneficial for their relationships. I went in as a Libra it seemed to be the best option for me. My colour in this grouping being peach. The virgo’s are very analytical they like things done right and there way. They love cleanliness and routine. They are very tidy, precise and hardworking. I wouldn’t have been able to fake such dedication. The Libra group on the other hand is artistic, charming, well balanced and observant. Them being observant I’d rather pretend to be one of them than let them observe me and see the wholes in my story, they would observe a future life partner more intently than a new friend. One of the Libra’s bad characteristic is being opinionated which is where I fit in perfectly because I definitively have many opinions, whereas the Virgo is reserved. I do believe that in every grouping I chose the best option for me. I haven’t been caught yet and I have infiltrated 3 groups so I think I’m choosing perfectly. What I’ll miss most about that grouping is that I had people to argue my opinions too and people who listened to them, I had more input than what I have with poor Madison than needs to deal with me all the time.

Today is my first day in infiltrating the Gemini and Aries group, I’ll be going in as a Gemini and I will be wearing an Ocean blue green tie. As a Gemini I will have to be adaptable, witty, lively and busy on the other hand I will also have to be cunning, restless and irresponsible. It kind of fits me perfectly at the moment, My nervousness of what I am doing always makes me seem a bit restless. I am cunning because I am deceiving everyone and I am irresponsible because I have no regard for the rules at the moment. Gemini loves everything new, If it’s new people or new ideas. I feel like I will do good in that category since the whole point of this is to meet new people and strive for a new idea that isn’t part of the program. Gemini hate boring people that lack curiosity are overly emotional, possessive and jealous. I’m fine with a little bit of jealousy but no one owns me that’s just not who I am. Maybe Gemini could actually be my perfect match.

My match in this case is the Aries group they are meant to be very open minded and outspoken. They are quick to act and speak making them very confident and quick witted. I can see myself getting into an argument with someone like that since we’ll both have our own opinions. The thing is though that my personality is very submissive and the Aries personality is very Dominant which is why I think we could be a great match. I think I need someone who can dominated me and make me just chill out at times, which is obviously why they are perfect for Gemini as well. The problem I see with me matching with them is that they can be selfish where I crave affection, they can be impulsive and I want stability and they can be impatient whereas I feel you’ll need a lot of patience to handle me. So this can either be a really good match for me or a real awful one. After this grouping I only have one grouping left and I am starting to worry that I won’t find someone outside of my grouping. I am really trying to keep my mind and heart open, but with time limits it is hard. I’m also looking for that instant connection. For me to proof the program wrong I must fall hard and deeply in love. I don’t think you get that at working on it. I think it happens instantly and throws you of balance and then you work on it. It’s all I want.

Today I left my hair down. I straightened it and pinned the one side behind my ear so that it doesn’t keep falling in my face. I have only put on some foundation and concealer with a bit of blush and mascara. I had a bit of a dark circle situation due to studying the new grouping till late last night and finishing my homework. It’s very important now more than ever that my grades remain good I don’t need any unnecessarily attention on me while I am sneaking around and breaking the rules. After putting on the foundation and concealer I looked a bit bland which is why I made my cheeks pink to bring some life back to my face and make up is noting without mascara. I’ve given Madison the day off so I went to get us breakfast. She usually does it because I’m always running late or scheming, but it’s just say that it is the inner Gemini in me stepping up. I went to fix our breakfast and then I got her. We sat in perfect silence and enjoyed our breakfast before heading out to class. She knew that it was time for me to go spying again which is why she looked unfocused and nervous all the way to lunch. I went to the bathroom and changed my tie before I set out to find my new lunch room. By now I knew where all of them were.

I took a deep breath and put a big smile on my face readying myself for this new adventure and then I opened the doors and walked in. It’s time to put on a show and see if I can maybe find someone that grabs my attention. So far my plan of attack has been to join a group and then analyse everyone around me. It would be ridiculous to stand alone in the entrance and stare out at everyone to see if I find something interesting. I immediately looked around for the biggest group because it’s easier to blend in between numbers. That was the plan, but my attention got pulled to a guy. He wasn’t sitting with a group, he wasn’t sitting at a table at all maybe that is why he caught my attention. He was sitting in the windowsill looking outside. There was another guy with him leaning against the wall. Clearly the pair of them were just to cool. The room had went quieter with my entrance, That tends to happen since I;m new and people get curious it seemed to make him curious as well as he turned away from the window and looked at me.

I felt captured by him as soon as he laid his eyes on me. He had these light brown eyes and long shoulder length messy hair. He almost looked bored as he watched me, but I knew that he wasn’t because he couldn’t look away just as I couldn’t move away we were caught by each other, observing one another in this loud cafeteria that seemed to have gone silent in anticipation. It felt like everyone was watching us, waiting anxiously to see what will happen next. I was also waiting to see what would happen. I certainly wanted something to happen. I wanted the handsome guy in front of me to do something, to say something…anything. That’s when he did something he looked me up and down, smirked and then he turned away from me. It was like everything in the room suddenly rushed back to me. Which is when I realized I was standing there staring like an complete i***t.

“That’s Declan. Don’t waist your time on him. He isn’t looking at the moment. He intends to wait as long as he can before picking a partner. Which doesn’t make sense because then it will be slim picking. He isn’t really a fan of the whole love program thing. He thinks he is above it all. Hi I’m Ashley by the way.” I turned to look at the girl that was talking to me. She was really cute with curly read hair, freckles and brown eyes. She is definitely not being overlooked.

“Hi I’m Brooke.” I told her with a warm smile. I took one last look at him to see that he was looking at me again, but he quickly turned away.

“Come on you can come and sit with us.” She said basically dragging me to her table of friends. This is exactly what I wanted and instant connections and it’s exactly what this is. When our eyes met it was different from all my other experiences. We had our sights set on one another and it has to mean something. Something I am willing to explore, but according to Ashley he might not be so open to exploring it with me.

Declan might be what I have been looking for.

He might be IT for me.