The scope of love

Chapter 2

“Why were you gone for so long? I was worried I thought you might have done something really stupid and got caught! You can’t scare me like that. There are so many rumors of what they do to people who break the rules…people have disappeared!” I laughed at Madison she was being so silly. People don’t disappear. The rumors are only started in order to scare us in following the rules.

“I’m fine and I wasn’t caught.” I smiled at her. I like it when she gets so worried, I know I make her worry with my constant rejection of the rules. I’m just not happy in this life. I want more.

“Oh no what did you do? And do I need to worry that someone will find out and come for you?” She asked me looking panicked. I walked over my bed and lift up my pullover. Everything I stole from the lost and found fell on my bed.

“What is all this?” She walked over to the bed and started looking through everything. There were necklaces and ties of all the other groupings. She held an light orange tie in her hands.

“What are you going to do with all of this?” I knew she already had an idea that is why she is looking so worried.

“I’m going to go undercover in the different groupings and try to see if I can meet someone. That way I can prove that this stupid program doesn’t work and maybe then all of us can finally be free in order to do what ever and who ever we want.” I knew that it was an insane plan and if I’m caught I’ll be in some real trouble.

“How are you going to do this without being caught?” She knew she wouldn’t be able to stop me or talk me out of it. I sat down next to the contraband on my bed and looked up at her. She was chewing on her black hair, something she does whenever she is really stressed out.

“I’ll go to the different groupings during lunch, I’ll jump from the one to the other until I meet someone. I’ll tell them I’m a transfer student that is checking out the school which will explain why I am new and why I might not come back. You know sometimes we get new students. People transfer when they don’t meet anyone in their groupings at their school.” I think it’s a brilliant plan if I tell them that and then I don’t have to worry about giving them to much other information.

“Just be careful. I don’t want to be in trouble. My family is relying on me to do this. They will know that I knew what you were up to.” She was not just worried about myself, but for her to. She might not agree with the program, but she has made her peace with it. I don’t want to get her in trouble, but I can’t live like this when I have found a way out. I’ll just be careful and if I’m caught I’ll make sure to tell them that she didn’t know anything about it all.

It’s been two weeks. I’ve been doing my research and have been working on my plan. It took a lot of research. I found out the necklace that I found was for cancer after I looked up the different glyphs. Luckily I also found a lavender tie. I’ve been pairing up necklaces and ties. I don’t always have the tie that goes with the necklace or vise versa. I’m first going to go to the groupings where I have both the tie and necklace and then to the once where I only have the tie. I can always say I forgot my necklace. I can’t pretend to have forgotten my tie. The first grouping I’m going to sneak into is the cancer and Scorpio grouping. I’m going to go in as a cancer since I have the necklace and tie. I sat on the bed with my notes. I’m so nervous about today. I feel like a spy infiltrating into the enemies base. For the most part I’m going to be myself, but I also need to know how the people I’m impersonating is supposed to act and what to expect from their pairing partners. I’ve been looking up their characteristics. I was closing my eyes and trying to recite the things that was written on the paper in front of me. I heard the door open so I looked up to see Madison standing by the door staring at me.

“Breakfast is ready. Are you going to come and join me?” She asked me looking at the paper in my hand. She has distant herself from my plan. She supports me, but she doesn’t want to know more than she needs to. I’m really nervous it feels like I’m cramming for a big test.

“Do you think you could quiz me quickly? I just don’t want to mess up and get caught. I mean I need to know this stuff a real Cancer would have had years to memorize this stuff.” I could see that she was hesitating, but in the end she came towards me and took the papers. She looked at the frail papers and then at me.

“How many times have you gone over these notes?” She asked me and to be honest I have been studying them non stop since I made them. I’m going to have to take time in between my grouping infiltration or I might get the information mixed up.

“I don’t want to mess up.” I told her. She nodded and went to sit down on her bed that was across from mine.

“What is their saying?” She asked me the first thing on the paper. That one was hard to find, but if you look at the traits it’s pretty much obvious.

“Cancers is I feel and Scorpios is I create.” I can get why the two of them is paired up in doing all this research I noticed why they chose certain groupings for each other, but just because they can be good pairings doesn’t mean they have to be forced to be together.

“What are the characteristics of a cancer?” These are the characteristics that I need to be while I go in there.

“They are very sensitive, caring and nurturing people. They are very protective of things they love. They are also very creative.” She nodded as I basically checked the things of the list.

“Okay and what is some of their bad characteristics?” She asked me again. Most of the bad characteristic just says that the care to much and too hard.

“They can be moody, they worry excessively and can be insecure, clingy and jealous. Not to even mention very possessive.” If I had the necklace and tie for Scorpio I would have like to meet a cancer boy. It might just be me but having someone caring so much for me is a turn on. Jealousy can be hot. In my opinion it means that they care a lot.

“And what do they hate?” They hate things that I think most people would hate as well. Honestly I understand it.

“They hate sarcasm and tactless criticism. They also don’t like practical jokes.” I personally am not a fan of sarcasm but I do like being sarcastic. She smiled at me. I remembered everything. Now I need to answer the questions for Scorpio. She asked me the same questions that I she asked me about Cancer. The Scorpio is a very complex person. They are stubborn and deeply emotional which makes them good for cancer. They can be intense just as Cancer and they are very lusty. As a teenager with raging hormones I must say the lusty aspect doesn’t sound all that bad. Their negative characteristic are pretty much the same as Cancers they are also jealous and possessive. Although they take it as far as obsession. They are good with holding grudges and are very unforgiving of peoples faults. They love s*x, loyalty and mystery. They are also big fans of privacy which they clearly aren’t getting with this program. I can imagine that a few of them also would like to fight against it. Then there are the things they hate. They hate surprises, being analyzed and insincerity. Everything this program basically stands for. I might just make some friends in this grouping. Once we were done with the notes we went out for our breakfast that had became soggy.

When lunch came around I went to the bathroom and quickly changed my tie and necklace to the lavender ones of Cancer. I neatly fold mine up and placed it in the inside pocket of my blazer, not wanting to loose it. I took a deep breath as I looked in the mirror. It was so strange to see myself in another groupings colour. I’m so use to our plum colour I guess lavender isn’t to far from plum. It’s now or never. I only have so much time so I need to get going. The one thing I didn’t think about was finding the lunchroom. I only know where our lunchroom is so I ended up wasting a lot of time running around until I found the lunchroom with the Scorpio and cancer glyphs. I took another deep breath before walking inside. I felt a rush when I first saw all the new people. It’s crazy to think that all these people will have different personalities from the people I know. Walking in it wasn’t obvious that these are Cancers and Scorpios. You can’t tell by looking at someone that they are possessive or nurturing. They just all looked perfectly normal. That’s the one thing the problem had wrong. We aren’t just analyzed statistics, we aren’t just numbers on a page we are actual human beings. Just because I am a Pisces doesn’t mean I’m just limited to what they believe are my characteristic. The deeper I got into the lunch room and the more attention I grabbed I noticed how their body language changed, the ones that are paired up wanted to make it clear that they were taken. They scooted closer to their partners or took their hand on the table in full view. I guess you don’t have to have the jealousy, insecure and possessive trait to establish your territory hear. Everyone knows that you need to find your partner here in high school or you won’t be going any further in your education or life, so when you found someone you would want to hold on tight to them because let’s face it this is also high school and people have a tendency to steal each others boyfriends and girlfriends. It’s a backstabbing world. I got a few weird looks and I was feeling very self conscious because not only was I impersonating someone, but I felt to many eyes on me. My plan went as far as getting here now that I’m here I am not sure what I exactly want to do. I walked over to a table where there didn’t seem to be couplings. I didn’t know if I should introduce myself and tell them my lies or if I should just ask if I can join them. The second option seems like the best choice. The less they know the better. As I stopped at the table I opened my mouth but a guy that was sitting near me started talking.

“New meat. I guess they were getting worried because there isn’t enough couples yet. Tell me sweetheart is it your every dream to have someone few you as a possession. Do you want me to be ferally jealous when it comes to me pursuing you. Trust me we’ve heard it all. I’m not easily impressed, your emotional approach won’t make me weak in the knees.” A true pessimist a man after my own heart, clearly he is not happy about the cheat sheet part of all this.

“Ignore him he is just crabby because he is suffering from a break up. He didn’t love his emotional grab enough.” A girl said sitting next to him. She revered to the cancer as a grab so they use lingo here. Break ups are hard for so many reason especially because after the break up your partner will move on very fast and you’ll have to see it happening.

“I think being jealous just means that you care enough to not want to share the person that is special to you and I think the fact that you are being so pessimistic just means that you cared for her deeply. If you cared so much you should have fought harder. Isn’t that what any girl wants. I don’t know about you but if someone tried to take my possession I wouldn’t let it go to easily.” I had no right to say this, I didn’t know anything about him. He might have fought for her and I’m only rubbing salt in the wound.

“Why are you even here? Couldn’t you fight for your partner at the school you came from?” He snapped at me, but I could tell there wasn’t any energy behind the snap, he was thinking what I said over.

“I’m from a very tiny school there weren’t a lot of options and I don’t believe in settling just because there are a few of us doesn’t mean I need to pick one of them. I believe in going out and finding what I’m looking for.” I was trying to be as honest as possible without actually giving away what I really meant.

“I like this girl she is outspoken!” The girl that talked to me before said as she pat the seat next to her and just like that I was accepted into their click. They were different from what I expected. I expected drones with the same personality which was stupid of me because I’m the one that kept saying we weren’t just statistics. I had planned on only coming in one day, but I realized that I won’t be able to make any connections by just walking in here one day. So for a week I kept coming back and I actually made some great friends, but no romantic interest. It’s not like some of the scorpios didn’t try they did, but I just didn’t feel that spark from any of them. I wanted to feel a real connection. The only way I could brig down the program is if I found real love outside of my grouping and for that I need chemistry. I need an instant connection. It’s sad that I made such great friends and I won’t be able to see them again, just another flaw in the programs master plan. Opposites attract hadn’t they ever heard of that. 

“And how was your spy operation? You were missed at lunch and not just by me, but I did miss you. It feels odd not having you next to me at lunch. I missed you complaining in my ear about the program.” Madison said as she came to sit next to me on my bed.

“It was fun I met interesting people but no Romeo.” I told her as I fell back and stared at the roof. She fell back next to me.

“What are you going to do if you go through all this trouble and you don’t find Mr. Right? Will you then fall in with the program?” She asked me as she turned to look at me. Madison is very supportive, but she is also scared for me.

“No I can’t just follow the program like a mindless minion. Just because I don’t find Mr. Right here doesn’t mean that he isn’t out there. This is just a school with a handful people the world is much bigger.” I told her not wanting to give up and give in.

“The world is bigger you’re right but in our society you won’t be able to live in it if you don’t conform. Honestly I’m worried that if you don’t find a match you’ll disappear and become one of the faceless people.” What she said was true and it was scary the thought of not having anything and not being anyone, but I can’t get myself to stop what my heart truly desires and that is freedom of choice.

Book entry: The plan

The plan was simple and jet complicated. Now when I’m looking back at it I can’t help but wonder how a seventeen year old girl felt like she needed to break this program just to take her own life back. I don’t think when they started this program they thought about how it would completely consumes peoples lives. They thought they were bringing people love, but then it got out of hand and no one stopped it. It took over everything. Not only ours schools. In this crazy plan I cooked up in my tiny bedroom there was such possibility. Possibility for friendship, love, abandonment and sadness. Somewhere deep down I knew this and I was still willing to sacrifice all that just to get my freedom of choice back. I wished I could have chosen my cancer and Scorpio friends for myself and have seen them everyday. I wished Madison could have met them and most of all I wished that I didn’t have to say goodbye to them. In those days I longed for a normal high school experience. I was a seventeen year old desperate to have those angst teen year with crushes, betrayals, bullies and the forming of new bonds. The worst part is that I was willing to do anything to get what I wanted. A seventeen year old shouldn’t feel like that. This life the program had created was functioning on suppressing our individuality and ruling our future and it’s odd how people couldn’t see that, but a teenager could.